Dirty Little Secrets
by Brits23
Summary: Bella's new life in Miami is fueled by one anthem: No Regrets. A steamy late night rendezvous with a cocky playboy is just what she needed, but an encounter with a blond doctor leaves her aching for more. BxE, BxC, AH. Rated M for hot Miami nights.
1. No Regrets

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

**Chapter One – No Regrets**

* * *

Okay, at this point, I just needed some "_Fuck y'all and this popcorn stand, I'm heading to Miami!_" music.

I really should have made a playlist ahead of time. It was a 3300-mile drive, after all.

Yeah, I was driving. Everyone and their brother had told me I was nuts, Jackass included, but I didn't really have much of a choice. I didn't have enough stuff to justify paying someone else to move me, so I was hauling all my worldly possessions in a tiny U-Haul behind my truck. The truck that Jackass informed me probably wouldn't make it over the Rocky Mountains. The bitch of it was that he was probably right, but I was short on options.

I scrolled through my iPod, considering my choices. Poe? No, too angsty. Duran Duran? Hmm, maybe later after I got over the Rockies safely. No, I needed some "_Fuck You Seattle and Fuck You Jackass_" music.

Nine Inch Nails' _Broken_ album. _Raaaaaaaaage_. Perfect.

I was singing along to "Wish" when I pulled onto I-90 and headed east.

***

It turns out the six-day road-trip was the best thing I could have done for myself. Six days of quiet solitude (when I wasn't cranking the stereo), plenty of time to think, plan, and yeah, reflect on the past. Six days to think back over all the stuff I would do differently, all the stuff I should have seen coming. Stuff I never wanted to do again.

Like kidding myself into thinking there was nothing wrong with my relationship when it was practically written in six-foot red letters on the wall. Jacob had started spending more and more time at work and never seemed regretful about it. The time we did spend together was awkward, so we just found ways to do it less often. He would spend the first twenty minutes after walking in the door complaining about work anyway, and after listening to his bitching I wasn't in the mood for sharing anything about my day. He complained about why we needed to pay for a maid once a week when I was home all day, completely ignoring the fact that I was _working_ from home. Working, as in earning a paycheck. Not sitting on my ass eating bonbons.

The sex, when we had it, was more annoying to me than anything else. Jacob wasn't the greatest lover in the world, but at least in the beginning he'd made up for his lack of finesse with enthusiasm. Didn't change the fact that he'd never gotten me off once. Not _once_. In five years of dating he'd never once successfully made me come, but I'd sure gotten good at faking it. I was used to slipping off to the bathroom with my five-year-old plain-jane vibrator to finish myself off.

I _wanted_ to like sex with him, I _wanted_ to crave it. Because I liked orgasms, that much was true. I liked to feel sexy, I liked feeling aroused, and I _definitely_ liked a happy ending as much as the next girl. But sex with Jake…eh, not so much.

It didn't help that he had a pretty small dick.

I knew that it shouldn't matter, that it was all about how he used it. But the problem was either he didn't know how to use it or I just needed something bigger than a dill pickle. So I smiled and faked it whenever I couldn't think up a good enough excuse to duck his half-hearted attempts at seduction.

Yeah, the writing had been on the wall for a year, and yet I'd stayed, we'd both stayed. It was safe, it was comfortable, it was routine. I'd still felt a fondness for him. Plus we lived together: he owned the condo, and I was technically self-employed, which tended to make getting a lease or mortgage on my own a little difficult. So I wasn't entirely blameless in the situation, I recognized that now.

Still and all, that didn't justify him coming home nine days ago and essentially giving me an eviction notice. Right after he told me he'd met someone new, and that she'd be moving in with him in two weeks. In other words, I needed to be _out_.

Jackass.

Alice had called the next night as I was packing, sniffling and working my solitary way through one of Jake's treasured bottles of Kosta Browne pinot noir. Jackass hadn't made an appearance yet, probably realizing it was in his best interest to steer clear of me for a day or two. The more I packed, the more depressed I got, the more I drank…it probably would have gotten ugly if Alice hadn't chosen that moment to pick up the phone.

Alice was my best friend and had been since I moved to Forks my junior year of high school. When she'd transferred to Miami seven months ago for work, we'd both cried like babies, and she'd been begging me to take a vacation and come visit pretty much since she got there.

She'd listened to me rant about Jackass for a few minutes and then interrupted me with a squeal.

"Bella! Move down here with me! I have a guest room with its own bathroom just sitting here, empty. You'd _love_ Miami, we can be roomies again, just like in college!"

"I don't know, Alice…"

"Oh come on! Give me one good reason for you to stay in Seattle!"

"Umm…"

"You can't! You can do your job from anywhere, Charlie's remarried, and now that you're free of Jackass, you can do whatever you want! You've _got_ to move down here!"

After a little more persuasion from Alice, I'd agreed to pack up and move across the country. I'd never even _visited_ Florida, even though Renee lived there, and I'd wondered more than once over the past few days if I had gone completely nuts.

As I drove, I thought about regrets. I would be twenty-five in three weeks, I was way too young to be having so many regrets about my life. I'd spent the past five years of my life making everyone else happy, being polite instead of honest, saying yes when I wanted to say no. Hell, I'd been doing all that practically since I was born. Maybe it was about time I put _Bella_ first for once. No more regrets.

Now, early in the morning of the sixth day of driving, I started thinking maybe the breakup with Jake and having to move cross-country was a _sign_. A golden opportunity to start living my life the way I wanted to, so five years from now I wouldn't still be wondering "what if." I didn't want to go on a bender or have a radical personality change, that wasn't me. But I _did_ want to say yes to the things I really wanted to do, especially now that there was no one to stop me. And I didn't want to feel guilty about it.

Well, there was no time like the present to put my new philosophy into practice. I was about a half hour outside of Jacksonville, and Renee had all but demanded that I stop in and spend the night with her and Phil. As much as I missed her, I really did want to get to Miami today. I was exhausted from five days of driving and the thought of having to keep up with Renee's incessant chatter made me feel even more tired. She'd probably want to go out, and once she had me in her grasp, she always found a way to guilt me into going along with everything she wanted to do.

I reached over, grabbed my Blackberry from off the seat next to me, and speed-dialed my mother. She answered, sounding sleepy.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mom, it's Bella."

"Hi honey. Why in the world are you calling so early? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to head straight down to Miami today. If I keep going I'll get there before rush hour and be able to start unpacking too. I'll drive up to see you and Phil after I get settled in."

"What? No, Bella, that's silly!" She sounded more awake now. "You're driving right by here and I haven't seen you in ages!"

"I know, but I'd rather spend quality time with you when I'm not exhausted from driving. Miami is only five hours away, I'll get moved in and settled, then we'll figure out when I can come up for a long weekend. Or you can come down and see me, if you like."

"Come on Bella, just stop in for a little bit?"

I rolled my eyes. I knew my mother well enough that once I got there she'd really pour on the guilt if I tried to leave. "Sorry, Mom. Listen, I don't like to talk on the phone and drive, so I'm going to let you go. I'll call you this week and we'll figure something out then. Tell Phil I said hi. I love you!"

"Well…okay. Love you too!"

I hit the end button, feeling oddly pleased with myself. I _never_ stood up to Renee, with her usual pouting and cajoling it was always easier to just give in than to have her harass me into whatever she wanted. She was probably stunned that I'd said no, and she hadn't been able to formulate a better argument on the spot.

Grinning, I called Alice.

"Let me guess, you're bypassing the Jacksonville stop?" she asked without a hello.

"Damn, how did you know that?" Alice scared me sometimes. I'd been telling her for years she could make a fortune as a psychic.

"I just had a feeling," she replied airily. "So where are you now?"

"Just north of Jacksonville."

"Perfect! I'll be leaving work early so I can help you unload and unpack, I figured we can take the U-Haul back and then crash for the night with pizza and martinis at home. We've got a _lot_ of catching up to do!"

"Hell yes we do!"

"You've got the directions?"

"Yep, I'm good. I'll call you when I'm about forty-five minutes away, okay?"

She squealed. "I can't wait! See you soon!"

I bounced a little in my seat, suddenly feeling invigorated despite the fact that I still had several hours of driving ahead of me. Pizza and martinis were already sounding good, even at ten o'clock in the morning, and I clicked the iPod over to some Greatest Hits of the 80's to celebrate.

Six hours later, my buzz had worn off and I had one anxious eye on the engine temperature gauge as I sat in traffic, eight miles north of my exit. Jesus, was traffic _always_ this bad here? Seattle was congested but this was just nuts. I'd cranked down the windows in a desperate attempt to catch a little breeze through the truck's cab, but sweat was running down the back of my neck in steady rivulets and my hair would have been a giant halo of frizz around my face if I hadn't tied it down a couple of hours ago. Seattle was humid, sure, it rained a lot. But this humidity was like trying to swim in a cinched corset with a couple of rocks tied on for good measure. I should have double-checked with Alice to make sure she had central air before agreeing to this.

Twenty minutes later, traffic finally began creeping forward again, and I almost cried with relief, having already turned on the heat in the truck in an attempt to cool the engine. Had I asked Alice about mass transit in Miami? Even though I worked from home there was no way I'd venture out into this mess again anytime soon.

When I finally pulled up to Alice's little house in Coral Gables, I was wound tighter than a clock and ready to just collapse in the drive. Luckily Alice exploded out the front door as I took my first unsteady step out of the truck.

"Grab your shit and come inside, I've got a martini sitting in the freezer waiting for you!" she screeched, just before she launched herself at me and wrapped her arms tightly around my sweaty torso. I couldn't help it, I hugged her back just as fiercely, even getting a little teary-eyed. God, I'd missed my best friend so much.

"Hi Alice, sorry I'm late."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand, tugging me towards the house. "I saw the traffic report, sorry you had to find out that particular joy of living in Miami on your first day." As she towed me through the front door I was greeted with a welcome blast of air conditioning, and I felt the first knots of tension start to relax a little.

Half an hour and two martinis later, I was feeling _much_ more relaxed, sprawled out on a sinfully comfortable couch, shoes off, tank top hiked up to just below my bra.

"So I take it we're not turning the U-Haul back in today?" Alice giggled from her chair.

"Fuck no. I'll pay for an extra day, there is no way I'm going back out into that mess. I'll drag my shit in tonight and take it back first thing tomorrow." I groaned and wiggled down deeper into the couch. "Have you got any munchies around? I haven't eaten since this morning and I'm going to pass out at this rate, if I don't eat soon."

"I'll call for the pizza now!" Alice reached for her cell phone, ordered a pizza with our favorite toppings and informed them _yes_, we did want it delivered. I groaned and set my martini on the floor, pulled my hair out of its rubber band and tried to run my hands through the frizzy knots. At least I had Alice, makeup and beauty expert extraordinaire, to pick out an anti-frizz serum for me.

"I'm so glad I'm here," I finally muttered.

"Me too. I know you're going to _love_ Miami! We're going to have so much fun!"

"I just need a fresh start."

Alice tossed back the last of her martini. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What is there to talk about? I told you things hadn't been good for a long time. He knew it, I knew it, but I didn't think he'd toss me out on my ass like that."

"Hmm…" She eyed me speculatively. Do you really think it was a bad thing, though?"

"Bad timing, maybe."

"Was there ever going to be a good time?"

"No," I sighed, shutting my eyes. "It was a long time coming. I guess I just didn't have any clue about what would come afterwards, so I didn't let myself think about it."

"No time like the present to start over again!"

I sat up straight on the couch. "Funny you should mention that. I was thinking the _exact_ same thing."

Alice grinned at me. "Oh really? Meaning?"

"I did a lot of thinking on the way here," I started slowly. "There's a lot of shit I don't want to do over again. And a lot of shit I really want to try."

"Sounds kinky!"

"Not like that, you perv. I just…I want to start doing what _I_ want, instead of what everyone else wants. I want to actually enjoy my life for once, have fun."

"Well, you came to the right place!" Alice stretched in her chair and then stood up, wobbling a tiny bit. "This place is fun 24-7!"

"I don't mean that I want to party all the time. Make me another martini and I'll try and spell it out for you." I gulped the last bit out of my glass before handing it over to her, then followed her into the kitchen. "I just feel like I have all these regrets, and I'm way too young for that."

Alice dumped an arbitrary amount of vodka into a stainless steel shaker, topped it off with a watermelon mixer, and then began rattling it vigorously. "Just in your personal life, you mean?"

"Yeah, I think so, work is fine right now. Better than fine, I can't complain. I don't really know how to explain this…"

"Let me guess, you've decided you're tired of being a pushover and settling to make other people happy?"

I gaped at her. Alice could be a complete ditz sometimes, but she could also be incredibly insightful. "Was I always that obvious?"

"No, not obvious." She dumped the contents of the shaker into my glass. "You've just been very unhappy for a long time. I'd be disappointed if you _didn't_ take this opportunity to start over."

"I don't want to start over, exactly. I just don't want to look back five years from now and have the regrets I have now. Does that make sense?"

Alice sloshed another martini into her own glass. "Sure. You're going to start living now, right? You don't have a dickhead boyfriend to be accountable to; you can find a guy that actually makes you come during sex. Unless something has changed since the last time you mentioned that?"

"No, not that it matters now," I grumbled. "I should just invest in a new vibrator, retire Old Faithful, and call it a day. Simultaneous orgasmic bliss is the stuff of trashy romance novels, not real life."

She shook her head in disbelief. "Bella, have you already forgotten where you are? There a million hot guys here, I'm sure we could find one or two that push your buttons."

"You told me right after you moved out here that they're all either gay or unbelievably conceited."

"I said that out of sheer frustration after a week on the job." Alice was an office manager and scout for a Miami Beach modeling agency, she'd worked for the same company ever since we graduated from college. When the Seattle-based company had opted to open a new branch in Miami, she'd been tapped to run it. I'd been jealous until she compared being surrounded by hot guys to working in a candy factory: after a while, even candy doesn't look good.

"Has anything changed?"

"Well, no…but I wasn't planning on hooking you up with one of the models! God no."

I took a long drink of my fresh martini, feeling my buzz deepen. "I'm not looking to 'hook up' with anyone. I don't have a specific agenda or a to-do list. I'm just living by the motto of No Regrets for a while."

She held up her martini glass to me solemnly. "To No Regrets, then." I clinked her glass just as the doorbell rang, and Alice went skipping away to get our pizza.

"So what about you?" I mumbled around a mouthful of cheesy goodness a short time later. "Have you met anyone interesting?"

She scowled. "I wish. I haven't had time, getting the new office up and running, and it's not like I wanted to go trolling for guys in the clubs by myself. It's been pretty lonely, actually. Yet another reason I'm glad you're here."

"I'm not going to be up for clubbing or going out for a couple of nights at least," I warned. "I've been off work for a week, I've got to get everything set up first thing tomorrow and catch up with all my clients."

"No problem, it's only Tuesday. Friday night, then?"

"What's the club scene like here?" Seattle had a fun nightlife, but I was sure it didn't hold a candle to Miami.

"Oh God, are you kidding? We'll head over to South Beach Friday night and I'll show you."

"We're not going to have to wait in line, will we?" Scenes from movies flashed through my mind: mobs of scantily-dressed women and desperate guys cajoling the bouncers; lines wrapped around the building.

Alice snorted. "Um, no, we will not wait in line. I'll call ahead for bottle service for us; I get to write that off as a business expense. Modeling scout, remember?"

"What's bottle service?"

"VIP, baby!" She grinned at me. "Table to ourselves so we can sit down and chill whenever we want and a bottle at the ready so we don't have to keep buying more drinks."

"Nice," I commented appreciatively.

"Yeah, I know you're not a big party animal so I figured you'd have a better time if we had a place to get away from the bump'n'hump set on the dance floor. And if you meet a guy…" She waggled her eyebrows at me.

"Good looking out."

We slowly finished off the pizza and Alice mixed up another round of martinis which were practically straight vodka with a little mixer for color. Mellow didn't even begin to come close to describing how I felt at the moment.

"So…anything else you want to tell me about Jake?"

"Nothing I haven't said already," I sighed.

"Were you fighting?"

I bit my lip. "Not as much as you might think. We just got…apathetic after a while. I mean, I'm pissed at him for basically throwing me out on my ass, but I know we'll both be happier now. So it's a good thing in the long run."

"No one should have to fake orgasms for five years, Bella," Alice intoned with a completely straight face.

"Yeah, I know…but that's kind of my fault too. I shouldn't have faked it, I could have worked harder at…I dunno…showing him what to do? I was basically letting him think he was doing it right so he'd hurry up and get it over with."

"Oh Bella," she said softly. "No more of that, okay? If a guy doesn't get you off, make sure he knows it from now on."

"I can't believe we're having this conversation," I muttered into my martini.

"Why not? Seriously, how big was the unsatisfying sex thing to you? Big! I know it was big because you've told me so more than once! So it obviously had a very negative impact on your relationship!"

"Thank you, Dr. Ruth."

"Okay, you're doing this No Regrets thing, right? Well this would be a great example. If a guy can't get you off with his dick, then make him get you off with his fingers. If that doesn't work, he's got a fully-functional tongue that he can put to good use. Any guy that's worth getting into your bed won't mind going the extra mile for you."

"Good point." My head was swimming from the vodka, but her words made sense. "Okay, I hereby promise I will never fake an orgasm again. And if I don't have one before he does, I will make sure he knows I expect him to give me a happy ending one way or another."

Alice patted my knee. "That's my girl."

***

After a couple more hours of girl talk, we'd sobered up enough to start unloading the U-Haul. I didn't even have any furniture, everything in the condo had been Jackass's, so we had everything dragged into my new bedroom within an hour.

"Feel free to redecorate however you'd like," Alice drawled, waving at the white-on-white guestroom. Even the sheets and blankets on the double bed were white.

"Yeah, that's not so high up on my priority list." I set my laptop down on the mirrored vanity in the corner and booted it up. "You have wireless, right?"

"Yep." Alice began hanging up my clothes in the closet, scowling a little at my wardrobe. "Bella Swan, in the seven months I've been gone, how did you manage to accumulate such ugly clothes? Didn't I teach you anything?"

"I work from home and I didn't do much warm-weather partying in Seattle," I defended myself. "And yes, before you say it, I know we'll need to go shopping before Friday night."

"Good God, yes!" She made a face at one of my skirts and tossed it on the floor.

"Um, Alice, _you_ helped me pick that one out."

"When? Back in college?"

I rolled my eyes and opened up my e-mail program. I'd made sure to stay in hotels along the way that had free Wi-Fi, so the e-mails weren't too out of control, but I skimmed through today's and then gasped.

"What is it?" Alice tossed another garment to the floor.

"I've got an e-mail from Jake. Sent this afternoon."

She flew to me and peered over my shoulder. "Are you going to read it or just delete it?"

"I ought to just delete it…but I guess that's not the mature thing to do. Maybe I accidentally left something there." I hesitated and then clicked on it.

_Bella, Just wanted to make sure you got to Miami safely. Please let me know. Thanks, Jake_

"Hmm, and here I was all prepared for something scandalous," Alice commented, disappointed. "Are you going to reply?"

"Yeah, if he could bring himself to write it, I can at least tell him I'm fine."

"Put 'Do not contact me ever again, Jackass' at the end of it."

I laughed softly. "Nah, I doubt he'll contact me again. He and I are through." I typed out a short e-mail to Jake, telling him yes, I'd arrived safely, and then simply signed and sent it. "So these nightclubs we're going to hit…do any of them have websites?"

Alice laughed. "Bella, you're such a dork!"

"It comes with the territory! I guess I'll just let you dress me, then?"

"Yes, you will. In general, if we're going out, you'll be wearing a cute sexy dress and heels. We'll get in automatically with the bottle service, but there are a _lot_ of hot women here, and you have to stand out."

"For what?" I yawned.

"For the future Mr. Right to notice you…okay, maybe the future Mr. Right-in-Bed?" she amended after seeing my glare. "I know you aren't looking to go out skanking around, but you need to get _laid_, and well…"

"I could say the same about you!"

"Oh, I know. I want to get laid too." She hung up the last of my clothes in the closet. "I had a couple of wholly unsatisfactory _encounters_ right after I first got here. Our Mr. Rights are out there, we've just got to find them. Do you want to unpack anymore tonight?"

"No," I groaned. "I think I'm going to crash early. I didn't sleep very well in the hotels, I kept worrying about someone breaking into the U-Haul and making off with my meager worldly possessions."

Alice blew me a kiss. "All right hon, I leave for work right around eight, so I'll see you tomorrow evening around six if I don't see you in the morning. Sweet dreams!"

I crawled into bed after taking a quick shower in my own little bathroom. If I dreamed that night, I didn't remember it the next morning.

***

I did manage to get up in time to see Alice off to work, then after rush hour I got dressed and went to turn the U-Haul in. My truck's temperature gauge was still running abnormally hot and the engine was making a strange thumping noise I'd never heard before. With my luck, the cross-country drive had done it in, and God only knows what it would cost to fix.

I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon continuing to unpack and rearrange my new room. My computer equipment alone took almost an hour to set up, and after I was done I logged into my work e-mail account to touch base with my clients. I had a great job; I was an independent contractor to a company based out of California that built websites for small businesses. The guys in California did most of the code and basic build work, and then I worked with the client to get the final look and content right. It meant a lot of interactive videoconferences, fiddling with tiny details like font color for hours on end and staring at a computer screen all day, but I loved my job. I was good at it, it was flexible, and the pay was pretty decent considering I could make my own schedule, as long as the work got done and the clients were happy.

I kept one eye on the clock, and around 5:30 went in to start dinner. Cooking was one thing I was pretty good at, and I knew that Alice's idea of preparing dinner was throwing a Lean Cuisine into the microwave. I'd stopped at a little corner grocery on the way back from dropping off the U-Haul and gotten just enough for the next two evenings, I figured Alice and I could work out a food budget sometime this weekend.

After dinner I retired back to my room. The guy I reported to had been fine with me taking a week off but it meant I had a lot of catching up to do to keep from falling behind.

Thursday I was literally in front of the computer all day when one of my clients flipped out and decided they didn't like the format of the website we'd spent the last month building for them. I spent two hours in a videoconference with the client and my contact in California, trying to smooth things over. By the time Alice arrived home, I was sitting in the living room with a glass of wine and a cold washcloth over my burning eyes.

"I do love my job, you know," I groaned as she lifted up a corner of the washcloth and giggled at me.

"I forgot what a workaholic you are."

"I don't really have a choice. If it doesn't get done, I don't get paid." I downed the rest of my wine and sat up slowly. "I guess you want to go shopping now?"

"Nope!" she sang, and then tossed a heavy garment bag over my lap. "I had a feeling you weren't going to be up for shopping this evening, so I took the liberty of picking up a few things for you."

"Oh God, thank you!" Alice knew better than to bring home anything that I'd flat-out refuse to wear, she'd been my unofficial personal shopper for years.

"No problem! Just don't think it gets you out of trying them on…come on, I want to see you in them and then we can just walk downtown for dinner. There's a great Cuban restaurant called Havana Harry's that I'd love you to try. I mean, you've been here two whole days and you haven't seen _anything _except your computer monitor!"

Alice didn't disappoint, I loved all three of the dresses she'd picked out for me, and we mutually agreed that the flirty little red wrap dress would be perfect for my first "real" night in Miami. Luckily we still wore the same size shoes because Alice had a pair of strappy heels that matched the dress perfectly.

After the fashion show I changed into something more comfortable and we walked to downtown Coral Gables for dinner. I was enchanted by the mini-city within Miami: Alice hadn't wanted to live anywhere trendy or busy since she worked in Miami Beach all day, and her company had found her house on the auction block. It was an unfortunate result of the faltering real estate market in Florida, but Alice had promptly snatched it up. My half of the mortgage was more reasonable than what I would have paid by myself back in Seattle.

We wobbled back home after an enormous meal and a pitcher of sangria, I changed into my sleep shorts and a tank and fell asleep before I managed to crawl under the covers.

Friday was even worse than the day before, work-wise. I discovered that the guys back in California had somehow neglected to build in a crucial feature on an almost-finished website for one of my most important clients. I spent an hour on the phone with them before I called the client, and everything went downhill from there. Alice came home to find me on the couch with wine and the cold washcloth again.

"Oh no no no no!" she shrieked, leaping onto the couch next to me. "You are _not_ bailing on me tonight!"

"How about we put it off 'til tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.

"Nope!" She plunked down next to me. "Remember the bottle service I told you about? Well it's already paid for, and unless you _want_ me to actually tell you how much that costs, then go get your ass into the shower."

"Alice, I'm just not really in the _mood_ for going out…"

"Shower. Now. I'll bring you something that'll get you in the mood."

I grumbled and shoved myself off the couch, tossing the washcloth towards the kitchen sink. "You're awfully pushy, you know that?"

"I have a feeling that you're really going to thank me for being so pushy. You need to get out and have fun, trust me on this!"

I stripped down and climbed into the shower, turning it up as hot as I could stand. I heard Alice push the bathroom door open and a moment later her arm snuck around the shower curtain, gripping a large margarita glass. "Here, drink this."

I grabbed the glass and took a healthy swig, then choked. "Jesus, Alice, is this all tequila?"

"Mostly!" Her disembodied arm took the glass back and I heard her plunk down on the closed toilet seat for a chat. After rooming together for four years in college, neither of us worried too much about modesty.

"So where are we going? And what should I expect?"

"It's a brand new place on South Beach that just opened, hmm, a month ago? It's called Secrets and it's got three levels. First level is the actual club and dancing and all. Second level is VIP. Third level is a lounge-type restaurant. We'll be on the second level, so we can dance and then go chill whenever we want to." I heard her take a hit off my margarita. "Whoa, damn, I did put a lot of tequila in that. Anyway, I figure we can go out to dinner first, and then head over there. We'll just take a cab. Don't forget your ID, all the places here card you no matter what."

I leaned out around the shower curtain. "Here, gimme that." I took another healthy slug of the margarita and winced at the bite of the tequila. "Okay, so tell me about the guys. Because you tell me something different every time I ask."

"There's a lot of really good-looking guys here. Problem is, most of them know it, especially the ones that live and party here. The tourists stick out like a sore thumb but they tend to be a little less into themselves than the locals. South Beach is a blast, it's not the super-crazy celebrity club scene that it used to be, but there'll be lots of people all looking for a good time. And speaking of a good time…"

I chuckled, I knew where she was going with this.

"Your Blackberry has a camera on it, right?"

"You bet. Are you really counting on one or both of us getting lucky tonight?"

"Always be prepared!" she chirped.

***

I let Alice do my hair and makeup, after we were dressed and ready she called a cab and we went to another one of her favorite restaurants. It was almost ten o'clock when she called another cab and we headed off to Secrets. The scene outside the club was exactly as I'd imagined it: long lines; women in tiny dresses; thumping music spilling out the double doors whenever they opened. I hesitated a bit but Alice linked her arm into mine, dragging me towards the unknown. In no time we were being escorted towards a table on the second floor, a small _Reserved_ sign marking it as ours.

Alice grinned at me and mixed up the first of what I knew would be many martinis. "Bottoms up, baby, we're going to have fun tonight."

We sat at our table for a while, sipping our martinis and checking out the crowd. Truth be told, I was drinking myself brave enough to get down on the dance floor. I'd never been a great dancer, I was naturally klutzy and never seemed to be able to stay on-beat. A few drinks never hurt, especially when we were surrounded by a VIP set of the beautiful people.

Finally Alice grabbed my hand and tugged me towards the stairs.

"Don't leave me!" I hollered at her.

"I won't!" she yelled back, and then we were in the midst of thumping beats, flashing lights, and a mass of bare-skinned humanity all moving as one. Alice dragged me out into the center of the floor, and we danced there for a while. Or more accurately, Alice danced and I tried to keep my bopping in time with the downbeats. The crowd was pressed tightly together, and more than once I felt the edge of a hand scrape along the curves of my ass. I was glad when Alice took my hand again and we went back upstairs to our reserved table. She mixed up another martini for each of us and we relaxed.

"Good to know you can still dance," she laughed, and I flipped her the bird.

"I moved to the music, what more do you want from me?"

She leaned towards me conspiratorially. "See any guys you liked?"

"Are you kidding?" The crowd tonight was well-dressed but I had the disconcerting feeling that most of the men had spent more time in front of the mirror than I had.

"Geez, that's too bad…because there's a guy a couple of tables over that's looking over here right now."

I looked down at the tiny skirt of my wrap dress. "I'm sure plenty of people have _looked _tonight, God."

"Yeah, but this guy is _hot_."

"Well if he has any balls, maybe he'll come over and introduce himself. Jeez, Alice."

"I have to go to the ladies' room!" she declared suddenly. "You need to go?"

I would normally accompany her purely on girl-code principle, but the last martinis she'd poured were strong ones and my legs were starting to feel tingly. For the first time I wished I'd worn something other than Alice's sexy stilettos. "Umm, I think I'd better sit down for a few minutes and drink some water, if that's okay."

She giggled at me again, Alice was in full-giggle mode tonight. "I think I can manage by myself this time, I'll be right back."

After she ran off, I sank a little deeper into the deep red booth surrounding our table. I hiked my feet up onto the seat opposite and moaned as my arches gave a little throb of relief. I rubbed them together and wondered if I could get away with taking my shoes off in a place like this.

"You look comfortable."

Normally, an unexpected male voice intruding on my personal space would make me tense up, but I was pleasantly buzzed from our martinis and the uninhibited atmosphere of the club had relaxed me considerably. I looked up with a smile on my face.

He was dressed simply in black pants and a dark-blue pinstripe button-down shirt, sleeves rolled up, but the body underneath the clothes and the face above more than made up for it. He appeared to be well-built without being bulky, not quite lanky but tall nevertheless. A jaw that could cut glass, covered by just the slightest stubble, lips curved in a half-smile, and bright green eyes that glinted even in the dim light. Topping it all off was the most glorious bronze sex-hair I'd ever seen in my life. No gel or mousse on this guy…it was pure just-been-fucked hair. I wondered briefly where the lucky girl was now.

"Umm…I look comfortable to you?"

"Extremely. You're not?"

"My feet hurt."

He tilted his head, his smile growing. "May I join you?"

"Sure."

He sat down gracefully, his eyes still on me. "I'm sorry to hear that your feet hurt."

I shrugged, my heartbeat accelerating a little. It seemed like every guy in here had an agenda or was on a mission, but he was the first one to have approached me directly, and he'd refrained from prefacing it with "Hey baby…"

"It comes with wearing the shoes."

He glanced over at my feet, perched up on the seat next to him. "They're very nice shoes."

"Thank you."

"Nice feet too."

I quirked an eyebrow at him and a self-deprecating grin spread across his face. _Damn this guy was gorgeous!_ "Okay, you get one chance to redeem yourself for _that_ line."

"That was pretty bad," he admitted. "Can I try another one?"

I tilted my head back and twirled my martini glass between my fingers. Oh yeah, Bella had her sassy pants on tonight. "Go for it, playboy."

He paused for a moment, then just the tip of his tongue came out and ran across his upper lip. I almost fainted. "How about…my name is Edward, what's yours?"

I took a moment to compose myself before replying. "Nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Bella."

"_Bella_…as in beautiful."

"Bella as in Isabella. Nice try, though."

He threw his head back and laughed. "My lines are all falling flat tonight, aren't they?"

"Maybe you should stop trying so hard."

His eyebrows lifted. "Are you telling me you're easy, Bella?"

I thumped my glass down on the table. "I'm telling you that you have ten seconds to redeem yourself before I plant these painful shoes up your ass."

"Only ten seconds? All right…how about, I've been watching you all night and you are the most gorgeous woman here?"

I stared at him without responding.

"Okay, fine. I came over here because you are the sexiest woman I have ever laid eyes on. And you looked like you could use a friend."

I kept a straight face for another few seconds before I snickered. "Did you seriously just quote _Major League_ as a pickup line?"

He looked genuinely thrown for a moment. "Uh, yeah…I guess I did."

I couldn't help it, I burst into laughter. "Wow, I mean, I'll give you points for trying…"

Now he was attempting to smolder at me, and I wondered how many women had swooned before that green-eyed panty-busting gaze. "Edward, seriously…kill the cheesy lines already. They won't work on me."

He folded his arms on the table and leaned towards me. "All right then, tell me what _will_ work on you. Humor? Sarcasm? Dirty-talk?"

I bit back the acerbic reply that rose to my lips and regarded the man in front of me. I didn't know this guy, he could be a serial killer for all I knew. But he was fucking gorgeous and kinda funny, and he was still trying after I'd shot him down at least four times. _No Regrets, Bella_…

"I'll tell you what, why don't we go some place where we can actually talk without the background noise, and maybe I'll clue you in about what works on me."

"Back to my place?"

I stared at him again. "No…"

"Your place?"

I straightened up in the booth and put my feet down on the floor. "Okay, you blew it. Nice meeting you, Edward…"

"Okay wait, wait," he begged, throwing his hands up in front of him and giving me another crooked smile. "I was trying to be funny again and obviously it didn't work. Where are you staying? Let's pick something halfway between your place and mine, so if all my cheesy lines fall flat, you're halfway home. Fair enough?"

Butterflies had nothing on the winged behemoths flapping around my stomach right now. "Fair enough. I'm in Coral Gables."

"I'm downtown. There's a great jazz lounge in the Wind Tower, how does that sound?"

It was yes or no time, balanced on the knife edge between the safe sensible boring choice and the No Regrets choice. Was it really even a choice anymore?

"A jazz lounge sounds great. I just need to let my girlfriend know I'm leaving."

He stood quickly and offered me his hand. "Is she downstairs?"

"I don't know where she went, actually…" My brow furrowed as I scanned the second floor for Alice's tiny figure, I finally located her standing over by the staircase. "There she is. Come on…and get your ID out."

"My…what?"

"Your ID, your driver's license?"

He looked completely perplexed but fumbled for his back pocket anyway, following me as I made my determined way over to Alice. It was only when I got closer that I realized she was deep in conversation with a cute blond-haired guy. She looked up and he pushed his wire-rim glasses up his nose as I approached, Edward rummaging around in his wallet behind me.

"Hey Alice…I'm gonna bounce." Our secret phrase from our college days, letting the other know that nookie may be had tonight. She grinned and whipped out her cell phone.

"Okay…where is it?"

I reached over and grabbed Edward's ID from him, holding it steady as Alice snapped a picture of it on her cameraphone. When I handed it back to him, his eyes were wide as saucers. "Sorry…standard girl-code protocol. Before I go anywhere with you, she's got your name and address in case I end up missing tomorrow."

"Ohhh…okay." He seemed genuinely thrown for the first time as he slipped his ID back into his wallet and then tucked the wallet into his pants. Pants which I couldn't help but notice fit him extraordinarily well…

"We're going to a jazz lounge in the Wind Tower, okay?"

Alice smiled and nodded as the guy with her looked at Edward, then at me. "Oh, sorry, Bella, this is Jasper. Jasper, this is my best friend Bella."

"Nice to meet you," I said politely. "This is Edward."

"Yeah, I uh…" Jasper started shyly, only to be cut off by Edward.

"Yeah, we've met. Jasper's my boy." Edward held up a closed fist and Jasper bumped it awkwardly. "You good, my man?"

Jasper nodded slowly as Alice grabbed his arm. "Yeah, everything's okay."

Edward winked at Alice and then looked down at me. "Should I grab us a cab?"

"I'm right behind you if everything is okay here." I looked questioningly at Alice and she waggled her fingers at me.

"Toodle-loo, see you in the morning!"

I rolled my eyes at her and followed Edward down the staircase, he paused at the bottom and gently rested his hand on my shoulder to steer me through the crowd. "You don't seem like much of a club girl, I think you'll like this jazz lounge a lot better."

"You're right on both counts," I replied as we walked out the door. Almost too conveniently, a cab was sitting there waiting and Edward helped me in. I watched his graceful movements as he slid in next to me, then directed the driver to take us to the Wind Tower.

The moment the cab pulled away, we were surrounded by the darkness, the soft mutter of the radio, and an occasional wisp of smoke from the driver's cigar. Wind from the open front windows made my hair puff around my face and I took a deep breath of the fresh air. Edward was sitting back, relaxed and calm as though he did this every day.

_Well maybe he does! He could be a total manwhore, and you're going to go have sex with him?!?_

Drinks at a jazz lounge, I reminded myself, not necessarily sex. Although sex with this gorgeous man was sounding more and more appealing…hopefully what he could do with his body would live up to the promise of his gorgeous face and smile. I didn't know if it was one final delayed reaction to all the martinis Alice and I had been drinking, but the last butterfly in my stomach disappeared. Instead I felt a surge of confidence and, yeah, lust.

"So Edward…you're buddies with Jasper back there?"

He shrugged and smiled. "He's one of my best friends. I was surprised to see him with _your_ friend, though, what a coincidence."

"Indeed. So what's the name of this place we're going to?"

"Blue World. The Wind Tower has retail and a couple of restaurants on the lower levels, and then residential lofts make up the rest. You have a place in Coral Gables?"

I felt my Blackberry vibrate in my wristlet and I fished it out as I answered him. "Yes, Alice and I share a house there." I looked at my phone and smiled: Alice had sent me a picture message, it was Jasper's ID. The message underneath said _I don't think it'll happen, but just in case_.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked curiously.

"Your friend's drivers license picture." I held up my phone and his eyes went wide.

"You girls are better-organized than the Mafia." He reached out and wrapped his hand around mine, bringing the phone closer to his face. A tingle went over my skin as I watched him pull my fingers close to his face, to his mouth. "Hell, I didn't know he had it in him! My little guy…they grow up so fast, don't they?" He released my hand and pretended to wipe a tear away.

I tucked the Blackberry back into my wristlet and shot him a quizzical look, surprised at this playful side of him. "I guess…?"

"Never mind, you've just gotta know Jazz. So you were saying that the two of you share a house?"

"Yes, I just relocated here from Seattle. Alice was already here and she had a spare bedroom, we've been best friends since high school. It worked out. What about you, where do you live?"

"I have a loft in one of the downtown buildings. No roommate, unless you want to count my friends breaking in whenever their cable goes out."

"Huh…I bet that can be inconvenient at times."

The cab picked up speed as we crossed the bridge, heading towards downtown Miami, and the wind from the front windows became stronger. Edward's hand reached out and carefully tucked a few wayward locks of hair behind my ear, my skin tingled at his touch again. "It can be, yes. But I just so happen to know where both of them are tonight."

I studied him carefully. "Your friend Jasper, is he a good guy?"

Edward chuckled. "Yes, he is, I promise you he's completely harmless. One of the most decent guys you'll ever meet."

"More decent than you?"

He grinned and looked at me for a long minute before answering. "It depends on your definition of decent, I suppose."

My pulse immediately picked up at the innuendo in his words and voice. Oh yes, I had a very good feeling that tonight could be fun. "What's your last name, Edward?"

"Masen. Edward Masen. And yours?"

"Bella Swan."

"I'm glad you decided to come out with me tonight, Bella." He reached out his hand as though to smooth my hair again, but instead he ran a single finger down my bare arm. "And that you trusted me to pick out a decent place for us to get to know each other better."

I shrugged and hoped he couldn't see my pulse hammering away in my neck. "I like jazz music."

"Do you listen to it often?"

"Only when I'm in the mood, and mostly on Pandora."

"Blue World has a lot of jazz fusion artists, it's a great place for conversation."

Our cab pulled up in front of one of downtown Miami's many skyscrapers, Edward paid the driver and then hopped out to open my door. He took my hand to help me out but didn't let it go, giving it a gentle squeeze as we went inside.

_Hmm, playboy moves fast. I guess he's not convinced that I'm a sure thing._

Blue World was a gorgeous lounge with soft lighting, sensual music, and many inviting loveseats with just room enough for two. Edward smiled at the hostess and in no time I found myself sinking into a loveseat that was tucked into the corner. We ordered drinks and Edward held his up to me when they arrived.

"To a memorable evening...and a devastatingly beautiful girl."

"To a handsome gentleman...and no regrets," I agreed softly, clinking my glass against his. Our eyes met over our the rims and a sudden rush of heat prickled my skin as his green eyes bored into mine. We kept the connection until a crash of breaking glass and a far off, high-pitched giggle brought us back to reality.

"So...no regrets, hmm? Interesting toast."

"Just being honest."

The look of confusion flashed briefly over his face again, he'd probably figured I was going to play much harder to get than this. "Is that your life's motto or something?"

"It is now, yes. I'm finding it's a lot more fun than Say No to Everything and Be Pissed at Yourself About It the Next Day."

"Plus that one is kind of a mouthful." We both laughed and I couldn't help but let my eyes go back to his lips at the mention of a mouthful.

"Do you have a motto?"

"Not yet, but you're inspiring me to try and think of one. Any suggestions?"

I took another sip of my drink and eyed him over the rim of the glass. As he relaxed and became more playful, dropping the seductive exterior, he was getting even more sexy…if that was possible. "Hmm, how about…Here's to Making it Count?"

"Maybe," he agreed thoughtfully. "Who said that, Ayn Rand?"

I cracked up. "It's from _Titantic_, Edward."

He looked horrified. "Okay, there is no way my life's motto is coming from a movie about a sinking ship."

"I can't believe you thought it was Ayn Rand," I countered, still giggling.

"That does it, you're not allowed to suggest mottos anymore. I'll just go with the good old Boy Scouts' Always Be Prepared."

I hid my giggles behind my glass. "You were a Boy Scout?"

"Well, no, but I do believe in being ready for anything that may come up."

I knew it was partially the martinis talking, but I couldn't keep from teasing him a little more.

"Ready for anything, huh? Does that mean you're the type that carries condoms in your wallet?"

The expression on his face then was priceless and I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing again and completely disgracing myself.

"Not in my wallet, no."

"Your pocket?"

"No, Bella. I keep them in my bedside table drawer. I'm not the type that drags women into a public bathroom or closet to fuck."

The breath was knocked out of my lungs as that word left his mouth for the first time since I'd met him. "I guess that's good to know. Where do you drag them?"

"I don't _drag_ women anywhere. I generally invite them back to my place and hope for the best."

"So your pickup line at the club…was that my invitation?"

He leaned in a little closer to me and I could feel his hot breath, like cinnamon, against my wet lips. "I would be honored to have you come back to my place."

If I had been excited before, I was on fire now, feeling a long-dormant desire pulsing through my veins. "Why are we running all over Miami, then?"

I felt his body shift on the loveseat and then his finger, just that one finger, was running over my bare knee.

"I have a confession to make, Bella. I actually live upstairs, in this building. I had a feeling you and I would hit it off."

_Ah-ha! A playboy indeed_!

"You're pretty sure of yourself, aren't you?" I murmured. His face was only a few inches away now, and his finger skated up my leg, over my hip, and then he flattened his palm against my lower back.

"I prefer to think of myself as optimistic."

I licked my lips, noting how his green eyes flashed to follow the movement. "Edward, I'm going to tell you something, and then I'm going to kiss you."

"All right." His voice was as husky as mine now.

"When I said no regrets, I meant it. I came out to have a good time tonight, and we've obviously hit it off. I want to go upstairs with you and I want you to show me a _very_ good time. Then I'm going home. Understood?"

Edward blinked but before he could say anything, I was already leaning into him, softly pressing my lips against his. He tasted like cinnamon too, and I couldn't help but let my tongue swipe quickly over his lower lip. He groaned faintly at the contact, and the hand on my lower back snaked around my waist until he was pulling me tighter into his hard body. He nipped lightly at my mouth before I felt his tongue slide insistently along my lips, obviously seeking entry.

I teased him a little, tightening my lips against the hot pressure of his tongue, recognizing that he was a guy who liked to be in charge. That thought by itself was enough to send a surge of desire rocketing through me, straight down to where I was already throbbing and wet under my pretty red lace panties.

He growled a little as I refused him admittance to my mouth, tilting his head so that his nose skimmed across my cheekbone and his hot lips landed against my ear. "_Bella…_you've got to let me in sometime."

I shivered a little, then whispered back. "I don't suck face in the middle of a crowded bar, _Edward_."

He hummed and I felt the tiniest nip on my earlobe. "Shall we head upstairs, then?"

It was a rhetorical question because he'd already signaled the waitress, throwing her a bill and telling her to keep the change. He took my hand in his as we exited the lounge and headed towards the elevators.

As we stood waiting, he wrapped his arm around my waist again and pulled so that my back was flush against his front, then rested his chin on my shoulder. To a casual observer it probably looked like a fond embrace, but he knew exactly what he was doing and so did I. I could feel the rock-hard erection he was pressing up against my ass, and the message was clear. It was going to be a damn good night.

**A/N **

**Kate**: Hi guys…  
**Brits: shoves Kate out of the way and waves furiously** Hi!!!  
**Kate**: Mmm, we hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Dirty Little Secrets! This story is a collaboration with Lazykate (www DOT fanfiction DOT net/~lazykate) writing for the gals, and Brits23 (www DOT fanfiction DOT net/~brits23) writing for the guys, so make sure you have one or both of us on Author Alert!  
Sounds to me like Bella's new motto means a lot of fun…and Edward sure seems to agree! Make sure you let us know your thoughts…we happen to know that reviews get Brit's fingers a-typin', and she's got EPOV up next!  
**Brits**: Edward does get my fingers a typing…amongst other things. **snort** yeah, like I wasn't going to go there. But seriously folks, there's nothing I like more than a confident, ruffled, sexy Edward dripping with the humidity of a saucy Miami night. Things are going to get mighty interesting, so stick around for my EPOV…it's right around the corner.  
So will you review, pretty please with a sticky Edward on top?


	2. First Encounter

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

**Message from Brits:**  
**Kate and I would like to thank each and every one of you who reviewed/alerted/praised this little collab. We appreciate every one of you! More on that subject down below.**

**Well, Kate dominated that first chap, so now it's my turn to introduce Playboyward! Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.  
Now let's go!**

* * *

**Chapter Two – First Encounter**

EPOV

I unlocked the front door to my loft and wasn't the least bit surprised when I saw my two best friends lounging inside. "I thought I told you the extra key was for emergencies?" I sighed, tossing my keys on the counter.

Emmett grinned sheepishly. "This _is_ an emergency, bro. Ma's cable went out and it's the bottom of the sixth inning. What's a guy to do?"

"I don't know, Emmett," I rolled my eyes, pulling my green work polo over my head and throwing it in the corner. "Maybe move out of your mother's house and get a fucking life? Jazzabel, I can't believe you'd stoop to his level…breaking and entering." I smiled widely at Jasper's anxiety, scratching my abs lazily.

He pushed his glasses up his nose and shrugged his shoulders. "He said you wouldn't mind…"

"Ease up, buddy, I'm only yanking your chain…fuck, hotter than a bitch today huh?" I cracked open a beer and ran my hand through my sweat-soaked hair. I'd lived in Miami for eight years and the humidity _still_ had my ass dragging like a fifty-year-old chain smoker.

Emmett's eyes were glued to the TV while he pumped the weight he never left home without. His livelihood revolved around his bulging muscles. He was a personal trainer by trade…but lately he had this hair brained idea to try his hand in ultimate fighting. It was insane; getting your ass busted just to prove how strong you are definitely wasn't my cup of tea.

I groaned, pulling a long drink from my bottle. "Let's hit the scene tonight boys…I'm thinking a little South Beach." I wiggled my eyebrows and grinned shamelessly.

Emmett shook his head, not breaking away from my flatscreen. "No dice, brother. Rosie will put my balls in a vice if I don't go to the theater with her tonight."

I scoffed. "You are such a pussy. That's the exact fucking reason why Edward Masen doesn't domesticate…theater on a Friday night when you could be hot and sweaty with a tan-skinned goddess? No fucking thank you."

What a travesty monogamy was…the proof was in the meathead pudding sprawled across my leather sofa. "Whatever, Edward. You'll get your ass tamed by a female someday. It's only a matter of time."

I rolled my eyes and finished my beer, throwing the empty bottle haphazardly into the sink. "Fat chance, homeslice." I turned my head towards Jazz and narrowed my eyes at him.

"No," he shook his head, shifting uncomfortably.

"Oh…it's happening Jazzabel. I simply won't be taking no for an answer." I smiled at him devilishly before sitting next to him on the couch and hooking my elbow around his neck. "You need to get laid, man. I pimp you out because I care." I couldn't help my outburst of laughter as his eyes went wide.

"I um…I don't know, Edward. I have an extremely important hypothesis to work on over the next few days and whenever I agree to go to a club with you, I'm deserted while you run off with a scantily clad woman with freakishly-orange skin."

I snorted and scratched my fingers leisurely along my scalp. "I can't tell if the tan is artificial under the dingy lights in the club, man. It's not like my goal in life is to fuck an oompa loompa…it's just the way it is."

Emmett chuckled, singing, "Oompa loompa doopaty do…"

"I've got another puzzle for you…right here, dickhead." I flipped Emmett off and grabbed my junk before heading towards the hallway. "Jazzy, it's happening tonight, no joke."

Jasper sighed in defeat, because he knew damn well he couldn't win an argument with me. "Guys, what the fuck? You barge into my domain and don't even let out my baby girl?" I asked incredulously.

I opened the door to Taylor's room and was met with the happiest dog in existence. My little brown boxer/blue heeler mix was the only woman who was permanently in my life…and I planned on keeping it that way. She had her own room, filled with every toy a canine could ever want…she even had a doggie jungle gym. The patio had a little door where she could go out and handle her business. It was a pain in the ass having a pet on the twenty-second floor, but my dog was borderline genius and I had her practically potty trained…out on her patio, that is. And while I was away tending to the sick and wounded of her kind, she was queen of her castle, and loving every minute of it.

For the last two years I had been a volunteer vet for the Humane Society of Greater Miami. Yes, volunteer. As in, my ass doesn't get paid and I'm donating my skill. The fact of the matter was, as far as finances were concerned, I was set for life. My father—well, stepfather as it turned out, but that's a hell of a long story—passed away when I was seventeen, leaving his assets split equally between my mother and I…and those assets were plentiful indeed. She and I hadn't exactly seen eye to eye since back when hightops and faded jeans were in style.

The last I knew, she'd been jetsetting around the world, living the good life and seemingly tickled as punch that copious amounts of money had been handed her way thanks to the death of her husband.

Sometimes it was like she didn't even care.

Certain events brought me to Miami right after high school graduation, and I never looked back. While most kids my age would have burned that cash up, I invested my ass off, quickly turning my father's fortune into my legacy. I was financially sound for life…and that's exactly why I felt it imperative to do my part and donate my time.

And I truly loved my job. I'd always had an intense connection with animals. My childhood was rather depressing, truth be told. Preppy little rich boys with red, messy hair tend to be avoided…and ridiculed. I took insult to the other children's ignorance and kept to myself, therefore coming off as snobby and conceited. Which I was, to a degree. I mean how could you live such a pristine life and not let it affect you?

Which is exactly why I was reborn the minute I moved to Miami. I met Emmett and Jasper in college and from there on out, I was allowed to be myself. No prep schools or dinner parties or black tie affairs. Just freedom…

I decided on vet school immediately, knowing that my mother would chastise me for "not living up to my potential." But growing up surrounded with pets, and knowing them as my only true friends when the human race let me down, I thought I was putting my _potential _to good use.

Animals are people too, and most of the time they're way fucking cooler than the barbarians that walk around on two feet.

I fell to the ground and chuckled as my puppy licked my face, jumping all over me like crazy. "Hey Tay-Tay! How's my girl?" I ruffled her head and she dove into my chest. My dog liked to show affection, and she loved me like crazy…as most females tend to do.

She ran past me and jumped on Jasper. I laughed as he curled up in a ball while she licked his glasses until they were steamed up. "See, Jazzy. The ladies love you."

"Yeah, buddy," Emmett laughed, punching Jasper's shoulder. "You're used to dogs, aren't you? You're still dating Janine."

Jasper's face turned red and I felt a little bad for him. "Emmett, don't be a dick. And don't underestimate Janine. Dude, the other day I went to the library and she was uh…_librarianing_ that day, and fuck, she reached up to get a book off the top shelf…" I licked my lips for a dramatic effect. "And I saw…her _ankle_."

Emmett dropped his jaw sarcastically. "Shut the fuck up, man! Right in the middle of the library?!"

"I would never lie about that, bro. And I was like dayum Janine, you sure do give nice ankle, baby."

"Fuck, man. Rosie never gives me ankle," Emmett scowled. "Jazz you are truly a lucky son of a bitch."

Emmett and I started howling in laughter as Jasper turned an interesting shade of crimson. I sat down next to him and elbowed him as Taylor crawled into my lap. "Come on man, lighten up. We're just giving you shit, but seriously, you know you can do better than Janine. Dorks are in, haven't you heard?"

"First of all, I'm not a dork. And second, I find Janine intellectually stimulating." He stood from the couch and walked towards the door, pushing his glasses up and shaking with anger. He grabbed the doorknob and swirled around to face us. "And she has lovely fucking ankles!!!"

He slammed my front door shut and the remorse mixed in with my amusement. "Ah, fuck. I better go after him."

I bolted out the door and caught up to Jasper just as he hit the elevators. I rested my hands on my knees and huffed…I lived in a rather spacious skyscraper so the run was tiring for a man of 27 years...especially after a long ass day at work. "Come on, Jasper, I was just giving you shit…I wasn't trying to be a dick."

"_Trying_ and _succeeding_ are two separate phenomenons, Edward," Jazz rolled his eyes and paced in front of the elevator.

I winced at the bite in his tone…having Jasper genuinely pissed at you was like cursing in front of a nun. It's extremely unpleasant and makes you feel like a total villain. "Jazzy…it's just, I know Janine's a nice girl or whatever, but I can see it in your eyes that she just doesn't do it for you. What about that _heat_? That slow, lazy burn that creeps up on you when the right girl looks at you with a sense of hunger? Like if you don't crush her up against the wall and kiss the hell out of her, you'll lose your mind."

Jasper scoffed. "We're definitely not talking about _me_."

I bit my bottom lip and looked past him as two tight ass blondes sauntered up in little tennis skirts and rackets in hand.

What a perfect time for Jasper and I to be utilizing the space in front of the elevators.

"Ladies," I smirked. Their eyes ran down my bare chest before they giggled at each other. I waited until they met my gaze and ran my tongue along my bottom lip. "Do you need assistance finding the courts? This building can be a bit daunting…but I know it like the back of my hand."

I ran said back of hand along the shorter girl's arm, her breath leaving her curvaceous body hastily as her eyes glazed over. "What do you say?" I murmured. "Can my friend and I give you a personalized guided tour?"

"That won't be necessary, Edward."

I rolled my eyes at the voice sliding up behind me like slime. This dude was ridiculous, but the only reason I resided in such a building. While I had cash by the fucking bushel,Wind Tower was insanely elite…there wasn't a cold chance in hell of getting in unless you had a connection.

My connection was James Gentry…a sleazy-ass associate of my pop. He had long blond hair that started halfway back on his round head, making a desperate attempt to hide at least twenty of his fifty-plus years. His big ass gut and receding hairline should have been enough to put off the ladies, but as I quickly came to learn…there are some women that will do anyone or any_thing_…for the right price.

Luckily for me, I was dashing enough to acquire my female entertainment with nothing but a devilish stare and the curve of my lip.

He slid his hands over the girls' shoulders and smirked at me. "How's the wild kingdom, Ed?"

_Ugh, don't fucking call me Ed._

_"_Saving lives, one critter at a time," I murmured, not really paying attention to him anymore. It's not that I wasn't grateful that he got my foot into this immaculate door, but hell, he whored it up worse than me…and even these expensive walls couldn't drown out the disrespectful names he called these girls while he fucked them.

There's no doubt that I'm a freak in the bedroom, and if I carved each conquest into my bedpost, kindling would be the only thing remaining. But women were beautiful creatures…and they deserved the utmost respect, especially when they're cool enough to let you put your dick in them. Maybe all the young girls he got rough with were into it…but I had run into a sobbing female on more than one occasion in the hallway.

I'd always ask them if they were okay…if they were hurt.

They'd tell me they were fine, so what could I do?

Jasper looked nervous as the animosity in the air grew thick. "Come on, man. Emmett's probably breaking shit." I nodded a goodbye towards James and hooked my elbow around Jazz's neck, giving him a noogie. "Now that's a shady motherfucker, Jazzabel. It makes fucking an oompa loompa look like a misdemeanor, huh?" I nudged him and he finally laughed, nodding his head.

"We'll just cruise _Secrets_, and I won't ditch you unless you tell me it's cool. If nothing else, there's always _Blue_," I shrugged, referring to _Blue World,_ a bar/lounge on a lower level of my building. Life was pretty grand in my humble abode…jazz club, tennis court, indoor pool, exercise room, sauna…Miami and I were meant to coincide, of that there was no doubt. "So we're hittin' it then?"

Jasper rolled his eyes but nodded, his smile threatening to break free. "Fine," he sighed. "And you're correct about Janine…even though she can hold her own in a metaphysical debate, the chemistry between us is deficient."

I shook my head incredulously. It never ceased to amaze me how different Jazz and I were, and yet the boy was like my brother. Emmett, Jasper and I were all different in rather drastic ways, but for some reason we found a tried and true friendship in each other that held strong after all these years.

"You'll find the right girl, Jazz, you just need to look harder," I comforted my best friend, running my hand through my hair. "Even though I'm extremely disappointed that all my boys are catching the monogamies…it's a horrible disease, my man. Probably worse than leprosy."

We walked through my front door and watched as Emmett held a gallon of milk to my dog's mouth, letting her drink right out of it. "Dude…what the fuck?" Emmett was brain dead sometimes, no joke.

He shrugged. "Tay was thirsty, I was hooking a sister up."

I rolled my eyes and yanked the jug out of his hand. Maybe it was a good thing Emmett wasn't coming out with us tonight. I usually had to spend ridiculous amounts of energy on babysitting his ass anyway.

No, tonight was about letting go of a stressful workweek, and I had a feeling the events ahead would promise to be memorable indeed.

***

I was in my element when I had the electricity of the nightlife surrounding me. Bodies swaying together to one tribal beat…tan skin, smoky eyes, a thin sheen of sweat covering scantily-clad bodies…it didn't matter if half of these women were mindless tricks…the club scene was beautiful in its own lascivious sort of way.

I sipped on my scotch neat, trying desperately to listen to my best friend while he explained how certain aspects of "The Strange Matter Hypothesis" were crucial in the most recent findings in his team's own scientific hypothesis.

Jasper was in grad school working his way towards a master's degree of science at UM. Needless to say, whenever he discussed matters of his future profession I usually just smiled and nodded my head. Emmett and I always told him we were convinced he fell out of that TV show, _The Big Bang Theory_. I tried to focus on his "recent findings" but I was suddenly distracted by beauty in its truest fucking form seated several tables away.

She was unlike any other girl in this club…maybe in this entire city. Pale, smooth skin, plump pink lips, pert natural breasts, long dark mahogany hair. There was absolutely nothing artificial about the girl that my eyes refused to break away from. I watched her daintily sip her martini, her fingers sliding absently across her collarbone.

I licked my lips, following the trail her delicate fingertips made across her creamy skin. This woman was fucking artwork, from the curve of her neck to the shape of her hip. And she would be mine tonight, without a doubt.

I was distracted from beauty personified when I saw narrowed eyes boring into me from my peripheral vision. I looked to the side of my next conquest and my eyes widened as an exotic-looking girl with spiky black hair observed me curiously. It was quite obvious that I had been busted ogling her friend. The small, dark-haired girl leaned over to the object of my latest erotic fantasy, her eyes never leaving mine as she indefinitely informed her friend of my perverseness. I smiled crookedly, knowing that winning over the friend was just as crucial as romancing the girl in question.

A good friend _never_ lets her girlfriend leave with a stranger if they didn't approve, so I had perfected the art of gaining a woman's trust in a very short amount of time. I was fairly certain the little elven princess would see things my way…after a bit of persuasion of course.

"Earth to Edward…."

My eyes snapped back to Jazz who was quite obviously trying to get my attention, for how long, I couldn't be sure. "Yeah?"

"What are you staring at?" he questioned.

I smiled wryly and quirked my head in the direction of the ladies in the corner booth. "Two females we definitely need to acquaint ourselves with, Jazzabel…that little one keeps eye-fucking the back of your head."

Jasper's eyes went wide. "I…uh, no…but if you want to go, I can just stay over here…"

I sighed and rolled my eyes, wishing my boy would just come out of his shell already. I threw my arm around the back of the empty chair next to me, my posture relaxed as I swirled my drink slowly. My attention piqued once the exotic friend of my beautiful girl stood from their table. I felt the anticipation of a golden opportunity bubbling in the pit of my stomach. "Jazz," I murmured, staring down the girl as she walked straight towards us. "Your lady is coming this way, and she's the epitome of an elven princess, I shit you not. Now rein in your _Lord of the Rings_ fantasies….and don't punk out."

I sat up and flashed a crooked grin as I set my drink on the tabletop. "Hi there," I smiled as she approached the table.

She put her hands on her slender hips and pursed her lips at me. "Yeah, yeah…save it, Romeo. Why don't you find your testicles and actually _talk_ to my friend instead of eye-fucking her all night?" Her lips turned into a little smirk as she stared me down, and while I assumed she was used to men folding under her intense gaze, she obviously had never met Edward Masen before.

I nodded in Jasper's direction. "And what will I do with my friend?" I asked smoothly, my eyes never leaving hers.

A pink blush rose in the curve of her cheek, making her look like some sort of porcelain doll as her eyes flashed in Jasper's direction. "Well I was kind of hoping I could occupy him while you were off making your move."

Jasper looked like he was about to throw the fuck up, and I did feel a little sorry for him. He got so incredibly nervous around girls. But hell, you'll never learn how to swim if you don't get in the fucking water. I stood from the table and chuckled at how high I towered over Jasper's elven princess. "Go easy on him, killer," I winked before leaning down until my lips were hovering over her ear. "And sweetheart, don't ever worry about my testicles. I can assure you that there is nothing defective about _any_ part of my body." My nose skimmed along her ear as I pulled away, and I chuckled at her slackened jaw and stunned impression.

"Good luck, man," I sighed, slapping Jazz's shoulder before walking away, every step I took bringing me closer to the salvation that would be wrapped in my Egyptian cotton sheets tonight.

I couldn't help but smile as she lounged in her seat, legs propped up in the booth and completely oblivious to me as I sauntered towards her. My skin prickled in the anticipation of being next to her. I reached her table and yet she still hadn't noticed me…which gave me a moment to appreciate her wonderfully long legs and the way her red wrap dress clung to her body so perfectly. My eyes drifted to the small bow at her hip, praying like hell that one sharp tug would later leave her bare before me.

_Just one pull…_

"You look comfortable," I smiled.

She looked up at me lazily, a sexy smirk turning her lip as her eyes ran along my black pants, up my dark pinstriped shirt and coming to rest on my chaotic hair. Her eyes were so much more intense than I had anticipated, deep brown and completely mystifying. My mouth was practically watering as she finally met my unwavering stare.

"Umm…I look comfortable to you?"

I pulled my fingers through my hair and chuckled softly. "Extremely, you're not?"

"My feet hurt." Her mouth twisted into a little pout and I fought the urge to laugh at how fucking adorable she was.

She granted me permission to sit next to her, and I could feel my eyes glowing alight with the opportunity that had presented itself in front of me. It was time to work the magic, because judging on how adamant I was for her company, patience would certainly not be a virtue of _mine_ when it came to this girl.

My eyes slid down her legs until they rested upon her strappy heels. "I'm sorry that your feet hurt," I said earnestly.

"It comes with wearing the shoes." The innocence in her voice and the sex in her eyes made my cock twitch in anticipation. The combination was downright lethal…but what a way to go.

"They're very nice shoes," I murmured, my eyes traveling up her body until they met hers. I bit my lip and found myself becoming lost in deep chocolate. "Nice feet too." The second the words left my mouth, I had the urge to slap my forehead. Seriously, would it be too much to fucking ask not to sound like a sleaze while fraternizing with the hottest girl in this club?

She didn't miss a beat, looking at me like I had a third eyeball as she straightened up in the booth. "Okay, you get one chance to redeem yourself from _that _line."

I shook my head, smiling sheepishly at my dumbass remark. "That _was_ pretty bad. Can I try another one?"

I already botched my game, so I knew it was time to try a new approach at the goddess seated next to me. I was in uncharted territory…_and it was fucking exhilarating. _

She laid her head against the back of the booth, exposing the smooth skin of her throat that I desperately wanted to taste. "Go for it, playboy," she crooned from beneath her lashes.

I shifted in my seat. I'll give you a _playboy_…

I licked my lips and leaned towards her, the soft floral scent of her skin assaulting my senses. "How about…my name is Edward, what's yours?"

Her eyes traveled down to my mouth before connecting with mine once more. "Nice to meet you, Edward. I'm Bella."

I suppressed a groan at how gracefully her name slid off of her tongue.

Bella.

"Bella as in beautiful?"

_How very fitting…_

"Bella as in Isabella. Nice try, though." She smirked at me as she crossed her arms over her perfect chest, and I suddenly wondered if fair Bella had a master's degree in the art of ball busting.

I chuckled, shaking my head. "My lines are falling flat tonight, aren't they?"

"Maybe you should stop trying so hard."

My eyebrows raised in surprise. "Are you telling me you're easy, Bella?"

Her pink lips fell open in shock and I suddenly realized how that last inquiry had sounded. How in the hell had I managed to dig myself so deep into this hole of fuckery? By now my typical conquest would be hanging off of me and attempting some sort of seduction to win my attention. But this girl was smart as hell and didn't take any of my shit, so it was rather clear to me that I needed to drop the _Don Juan_ front and shoot for honesty.

I was about to surpass uncharted territories and dive clear off the fucking map.

Now anxiety had mixed in with my previous exhilaration.

My expression turned serious as a faint blush of anger spread across her exposed skin. "I'm telling you that you have ten seconds to redeem yourself before I plant these painful shoes up your ass," she growled.

Honesty, Masen. Man the fuck up.

"Only ten seconds? Alright…how about, I've been watching you all night and you are the most gorgeous woman here?"

She stared at me blankly.

"Okay, fine," I continued, meeting her eyes with the utmost sincerity. "I came over here because you are the sexiest woman I have ever laid eyes on. And you looked like you could use a friend."

She maintained her devoid stare until finally she laughed heartily. "Did you seriously just quote _Major League_ as a pickup line?"

_Fuck. My. Life._

I _knew_ I stole that line from somewhere! And leave it to this girl to recognize it immediately. She completely threw me for a loop…and I could honestly say I had never been so perplexed while picking up a woman. "Uh yeah…I guess I did."

"Wow, I mean, I'll give you points for trying…"

I stared her down, hoping like hell that we could just forget this awkward conversation and focus on the truth: there was some real chemistry between us, and I didn't want to skirt around it any longer. There was no doubt she was attracted to me. From the moment I approached her, her fingers ghosted along her neck, her cheeks where flushed, her lip was permanently trapped between her teeth as she gazed up at me…all the signs were there.

So why was she fighting it?

What was she afraid of?

"Edward, seriously…kill the cheesy lines already. They won't work on me."

I pouted. I was…cheesy?

All right_, maybe_ I could see where she was coming from.

_Just maybe._

I leaned against the table and looked into her eyes. "All right then…tell me what _will _work on you. Humor? Sarcasm? Dirty-talk?"

_Please say dirty-talk…_

I watched her internally debate with herself as she stared up at me hesitantly. Finally her eyes set in a solid resolve and I held my breath as she prepared to seal our fate. "I'll tell you what, why don't we go some place where we can actually talk without the background noise, and maybe I'll clue you in about what works on me."

_Bingo._

"Back to my place?" I murmured deeply.

She rolled her eyes at me playfully. "No…"

"Your place?"

She slid her legs off of the booth until her feet were planted on the floor as she straightened her posture. "Okay, you blew it. Nice meeting you Edward."

_Fuck! Too eager…slow and steady wins the race…_

"Okay, wait, wait…" I held my hands up in peace and smiled my most panty-combusting smile. "I was trying to be funny again and obviously it didn't work. Where are you staying? Let's pick something halfway between your place and mine, so if all my cheesy lines fall flat, you're halfway home. Fair enough?"

Her eyes glazed over for a split second as she fiddled with the clutch in her hand. "Fair enough. I'm in Coral Gables."

I smiled widely, relieved that we had conquered our game of cat and mouse. I rested my hand on her lower back as I guided her out of the booth, the warmth from her body sinking into my fingers and bringing my skin to life…

I had a sneaking suspicion this night would _not _be soon forgotten.

***

Bella and I found our friends, who coincidentally were lost in their own discussion as we approached them. I quirked an eyebrow at Jazz and he smiled at me lazily, sipping from a glass filled with a dark liquor. Hmm…someone should have mentioned to Alice—as Bella informed me her name was—that Jasper couldn't handle hard liquor for shit.

For the sake of his cobwebbed genitalia, I hoped he could keep it together.

After Bella had her friend snap a picture of my ID—which was pretty fucking innovative on their part—we retreated. I was more than eager to get this beautiful girl away from the hustle of the club and into the hypnotic trance that _Blue World_ inflicted. Smooth beats, quiet conversation, the perfect environment for releasing the full power of the electricity that was already crackling between us.

The ride to Wind Tower was peaceful. I watched in wonder as Bella's eyes were glued to her window, taking in the lights and the sounds of this amazing city. I saw none of it…all I could focus on was one tiny red dress and everything that was waiting for me beneath it.

We conversed some more, discussing her relocation from Seattle to Miami and informing each other of our last names---always a perk with a potential bed mate…albeit not entirely necessary in all cases.

In this case however, I was happy to officially be meeting Isabella Swan. Not only was she physically appealing—understatement of the fucking century--but I found myself hanging on every word she spoke and every ounce of snarkiness she threw my way.

When her cell chimed and I learned it was Alice sending her a picture of Jazz's ID, I could hardly believe it. I gripped the soft hand that held her phone, my eyes closing briefly at how electric her skin felt against mine as I pulled the screen closer. Huh….Jazzy actually did it. I made a playful comment about my little guy growing up so fast, but Bella looked at me quizzically.

If she had any idea what a huge step this was for my best friend, she'd be pretending to wipe a tear from her eye as well.

We discussed jazz music and the sounds that _Blue World _normally featured—conveniently leaving out that the lounge we were visiting was mere floors beneath my condo. I was hoping by the time that little fact made itself known, there would already be no turning back…

I had such a good feeling about this girl…I found myself just _aching_ to touch her.

The cab pulled up in front of my building and I helped her out of the backseat, sliding her tiny fingers between mine and squeezing tightly. Our hands fit together perfectly and I could only imagine what other parts of our bodies would feel like entangled so intimately.

Time would tell.

Already I was feeling intoxicated by the soft lights of the lounge and the relaxing sounds of saxophones soothing us into a euphoric state. Bella looked up at me leisurely, a small smile spreading across her face as she blushed a lovely shade of pink. I said nothing, just gestured for her to slide into the dark blue loveseat before slipping in right behind her.

I kept my eyes on her as the waitress brought us our drinks, her posture relaxed but her eyes telling me she was slightly anxious. No matter what happened between us tonight, I only wanted her to feel comfortable in my presence.

With drinks in our hands, we held them eye level…like we were challenging each other as to who would propose a toast first.

I took the bait.

"To a memorable evening…and a devastatingly-beautiful girl."

She licked her plump bottom lip, and suddenly my lines weren't so comical to her. My heart clenched in the anticipation of what was to come.

"To a handsome gentlemen…and no regrets," she murmured gently, clinking my glass as her eyes met mine.

I held them, emerald green versus coffee brown…binding together and searching for something more. I could almost see the intensity swirling in her eyes as she decided what this was…how good we could make each other feel as our encounter suddenly took a different turn.

_She wanted me._ In every move and every look she gave me, she fucking wanted me. And my God, did I want her.

We were awoken from our arousing entrancement by breaking glass and catty laughter, the moment suddenly lightened….but just barely.

I lived for this fucking feeling…the realization that two strangers could come together and give into their natural instincts without dwelling on the consequences of their actions. No regrets…just as the deviously-innocent girl in front of me proclaimed as our glasses clinked.

"So…no regrets, hmm? That's an interesting toast."

"Just being honest," she shrugged, her tongue darting out for the briefest of moments as she sipped her drink.

"Is that your life's motto or something?"

Her smile was almost prideful as she straightened her spine and leaned closer. "It is now, yes. I'm finding it's a lot more fun than _Say No to Everything and Be Pissed at Yourself About it the Next Day."_

I chuckled, running my fingers through my hair. "Plus that one is kind of a mouthful."

"Do you have a motto?" she questioned.

The truth was, I didn't. We spend the next several minutes trying to find the motto that best worked for me. When I mistook a line from _Titanic _for Ayn Rand, I felt us slipping back into our old routine of Bella playfully shutting down Edward. I only wanted this night to move forward. After chastising me for my error, I shook my head at her in mock exasperation. "That's does it, you're not allowed to suggest mottos anymore. I'll just go with the good old Boy Scouts' _Always be Prepared_."

She giggled before bringing her lips to her glass. "You were a Boy Scout?"

My knee brushed against hers underneath the table and our eyes immediately met. "Well, no, but I do believe in being ready for anything that may come up."

She stared me down for a minute, a new gleam of mischief in her eyes. "Ready for anything, huh? Does that mean you're the type that carries condoms in your wallet?"

I smiled wickedly. _There_ she was.

Bella Swan was finally letting go.

I moved in closer.

"Not in my wallet, no," I murmured, my eyes darting down to her chest before meeting her dark brown stare.

"Your pocket?"

How quickly she assumed I was nothing more than a Neanderthal…I might have been insulted if I wasn't so incredibly turned on by this stunning creature. "No, Bella," I said firmly, licking my lips as the air thickened between us. "I'm not the type that drags women into a public bathroom or closet to _fuck_."

It felt liberating to use the word _fuck _in her presence, especially when the racing of my pulse and the tingles shooting throughout my body were telling me that fair Bella and I were moments away from something we both desperately needed…

…to touch each other.

From the moment I approached her table…God, we needed to stop over thinking it and just _feel_…

"I guess that's good to know. Where do you drag them?" She was slightly flustered as she spoke.

_Let it go, baby._

"I don't drag women anywhere," I shook my head. "I generally invite them back to my place and hope for the best."

The arrogant prick inside of me wanted to tell her I never had to _hope_ for anything. I was rather used to getting what I wanted. And while this night had been a mixture of flirtatious conversation and my awkward attempts at seduction…I had never thought I'd enjoy working for it so incredibly much.

She shifted in her seat, her bare knee pressed tightly against mine as her tongue ran slowly across her bottom lip. "So your pick up line at the club…was that my invitation?"

I swallowed thickly, leaning forward until my lips were centimeters from hers. "I'd be honored to have you come back to my place."

She looked at me with wide eyes, practically inhaling my proximity as our surroundings drifted away. "Why are we running all over Miami then?" Her voice was lower, a sultry tone underlining every word she spoke.

I let my hand slide down my leg and slowly circled her bare knee with my finger, suppressing a groan at the skin-on-skin contact.

I confessed to her that I lived in the building, hoping that my slight deception wouldn't deter us from something that was destined to happen since the moment I laid eyes on her only hours ago.

Instead of throwing her drink in my face, she smirked at me seductively. "Pretty sure of yourself aren't you?"

_Oh Bella, you have no idea…_

I sighed as my finger left her knee and slid up her thigh, across her hip and around her delicate waist until my palm was pressed securely against her lower back. My hand fit perfectly there as well. "I prefer to think of myself as an optimist."

I stared at her mouth as her tongue circled around it slowly, my fingers twitching against her back as she looked up at me. "Edward, I'm going to tell you something, and then I'm going to kiss you."

I felt my cock hardening as I tilted my head…it was as if our mouths were fighting against gravity to taste each other. "All right," I murmured huskily.

"When I said no regrets, I meant it. I came out to have a good time tonight, and we've obviously hit it off. I want to go upstairs with you and I want you to show me a _very_ good time. Then I'm going home. Understood?"

My eyes widened in utter fucking astonishment….had I finally met my match?

I didn't have time to ponder it because the moment those words left her sweet lips, I was enveloped in her and the surge of arousal rushing through my veins at the feel of her wet mouth against mine. She teased me with innocent kisses, a promise of all the things she could do with those soft lips as she nipped at my skin and moaned softly.

My hand slid around her waist, bringing her body tight against me, fighting the urge to pull her right into my lap and thrust my now painfully hard cock against her. I dragged my tongue slowly along her bottom lip, groaning in arousal and frustration as she denied me the taste of her mouth. I chuckled breathlessly, resting my forehead against her temple before skimming my nose along her jaw. Her breath left her hastily as my lips rested against her ear. "Bella…you have to let me in sometime."

She shuddered against me, my fingers curling around her waist as she turned to assault me with smoldering eyes. "I don't suck face in a crowded bar, Edward."

I lost my breath at how erotic the word _suck_ sounded from her little mouth, and I desperately needed her to give me the word so I could take her upstairs and demonstrate just how good of a time I could _really_ show her.

"Shall we head upstairs then?" I whispered, taking her earlobe between my teeth before pulling back to show her my every intent by just the look in my eyes. I didn't break away, signaling the waitress and tossing random bills her way as we rose from the booth hastily.

I took her hand in mine as we walked rapidly towards the elevator, our fingers flexing together just to feel the contraction of muscles that our bodies were aching for. I pressed the up arrow and slid behind her as we waited for the elevator to descend. She hummed softly as my arms slid around her waist and my chin rested on her shoulder, pulling her backwards until her tight ass was nestled delectably against my solid cock. "Do you feel what you do to me, Bella? Every shift of your body, every blush on your cheek, every word on your tongue…you've driven me crazy all night…and now it's your turn."

She groaned quietly, pressing back into my body as her fingers gripped mine around her waist. "Tease," she whispered breathlessly.

I dragged my bottom lip slowly along the shell of her ear, my breaths heavy as we waited for the escape into our much needed privacy. "Mmm, I don't tease, Bella. I promise."

Like a gift from God above, the elevator doors opened a moment later. Bella tried to walk ahead of me but I pulled her against my body, not letting her forget what she'd soon be getting from me. Once we were nestled into the back of the lift, two elderly women walked in and stood farther ahead of us, rambling to each other obliviously.

My eyes nearly rolled back in my head as Bella slid her hand between us and rubbed me in thick strokes through my pants. I shifted her hair behind her shoulder and attacked her neck with my tongue as I crushed her back against my chest.

I slid my hand around her waist and between our bodies until my fingers were covering hers as she touched me with the perfect amount of pressure. "Do you want it?" I whispered deeply, feeling lightheaded as she laid her head against my shoulder and turned to meet my eyes.

Fuck, I could almost smell our sex in the air, the throbbing of our bodies and the aching need as we fucked each other with our heated stare. She nodded and clasped her eyes tightly, lips parted as I palmed her ass roughly.

It was almost too much to control. I swallowed thickly and leaned down until we were cheek-to-cheek, our mouths side by side as we fondled each other between our tight embrace. "I'm going to make you cum the second we're behind closed doors…and _that's_ a fucking promise," I whispered darkly, soft pants escaping our lips at a hurried pace.

She was trembling against me, her fingers becoming clumsy as she squeezed my dick in her tiny hand. _Fuck, this girl was going to be the death of me_. The elevator stopped at the eighteenth floor, letting the elderly passengers off before we were left entirely alone—and make no mistake…if there weren't cameras in that elevator, she'd be cumming on my fingers in no more than ten seconds flat.

Alas, all we could do was wait.

We allowed our heavy breaths to fill the elevator as we wrapped ourselves in each other, the ding of the open door sounding out like sweet salvation.

She held onto my belt buckle as I walked backwards towards my door, my eyes moving from her lips to the little bow that would unravel that stunning fucking dress.

_Just one pull…_

I fumbled with my key in the lock until the door finally broke free. I pulled Bella inside by her hand as she squealed, laughing until my door was slammed shut and she was pressed tightly against it.

Her laughter was quickly replaced with an intense silence as we stared at each other in the light of the surrounding city that poured through my blinds. I brushed my lips back and forth against hers, sliding my hands up and down her sides as her breath left her lungs quickly. "Will you let me in, Bella?" I whispered, my eyes closing tightly as her warm tongue slid into my mouth the moment my words escaped me.

She tasted divine, sweet with a subtle hint of alcohol as she moaned softly, our tongues twisting together, every breath, every groan, every texture of skin sending a jolt of electricity up my spine. My hands slid eagerly down her body and down to her thigh, lifting one leg and hooking it around my ass as I pushed her further against the door. "Bella…let me touch you, baby," I whispered breathlessly. "I just want to make you feel good."

"Yes," she sighed, kissing me chastely on the lips before deepening it with her tongue. I slid my hand up her leg and beneath her dress, my fingertips skimming along the edge of her lacy underwear. The heat from between her legs radiated from her body, my hand becoming hot and sticky from her need. "Please," she mouthed, laying her head back against the door as she shut her eyes.

I ran my tongue along the column of her neck, two fingers sliding beneath lacy fabric and feeling the evidence of her arousal…

I _knew_ she fucking wanted me.

My fingers ghosted along the outside of her sex, rubbing gently against her clit before leaving it just as quickly. She was writhing on my hand. "I thought you said you don't tease," she groaned, grabbing my wrist where it disappeared beneath her dress.

I chuckled and pressed my lips to hers. "I don't."

My fingers slid inside of her saturated heat, the wetness of her skin providing the perfect amount of lubrication as I swirled my fingers inside of her. She grunted gutturally, almost as if she were in pain as her grip on my wrist tightened viciously. I took her mouth, our tongues swirling rapidly in the air between us. I already felt her walls convulsing around my fingers, her climax so dangerously close as I worked her with my hand rapidly.

"Fuck," she whimpered, crashing her forehead against mine as we kissed in wet, sloppy strokes.

I slid my mouth down to her jaw before resting my lips against her ear. "It's okay, baby. Just let it go."

She cried out loudly a moment later, her arms flying around my neck as she crushed her body against mine. I moaned as she rode out the waves of pleasure around my fingers, slowly stroking her clit as she came back down.

It was a very real possibility that I'd never been harder in my life.

She was downright radiant in her post-coital glow, her cheeks flushed and her eyes alight with fire as she smirked up at me. I bit my lip as she shoved me backwards playfully. "Come on, playboy…why don't I help you out with your little problem there?"

I shook my head at her, sliding her hand past my stomach to rest over my aching erection. "Do you feel anything _little_ about my problem, Bella?"

She licked her bottom lip and gazed up at me beneath her lashes. "Not at all."

She giggled breathlessly as I stepped behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, quickening our pace towards the bed she would soon be screaming my name in. "Can I tell you something?" I whispered into her ear.

"You have multiple STDs?"

I chuckled. "I'm clean as a whistle. What about you?"

She nodded. "I'm good."

I groaned deeply. "I have no doubt about that, beautiful."

"Then what is it?"

I turned her to face me and as I walked her backwards through my bedroom door, our eyes met significantly. I kissed her once before pulling her against me in a tight embrace, my hands running up and down her back with purpose. "I think you're stunning, intelligent, and one hell of a ballbuster—and I need you to know how honored I am to have your company tonight, Bella. Whatever we do in this room together…just know that I won't take a single moment for granted."

She stared at me for a second before her lips turned into a smirk. "Damn, you're good."

I smiled crookedly, fingering the tiny bow at her hip that I was preparing to untie. "Well I won't deny _that_…but I'm just being honest. I'll worship you right here and now, if you'll let me."

She looked at me for a moment before unbuttoning the top two buttons of my shirt. "I believe you, Edward."

I closed my eyes and lost my breath at how tantalizing my name sounded as it left her lips.

And with my eyes burning into hers, I pulled on the soft fabric of her wrap dress until she was standing before me in nothing but a red bra and panties…with her heels still strapped to her perfect feet.

Every man's wet fucking dream was standing right in front of me, begging for more.

And who was I to refuse her?

Everything became urgent as she pulled at the buttons of my shirt, fighting with them to release so she could touch my skin. She finally threw my shirt to the ground as I grabbed her by the hips and tossed her onto my California king, a gentle cry falling from her lips as she landed with a thud. I came to stand in front of her, her fingers working rapidly on my belt buckle as the metal clanked loudly in the silent room.

She dragged her nails up and down the bulge in my pants as she popped the button. I groaned and gathered her hair in my hands as her tongue ran up and down the trail of hair beneath my belly button, pulling my pants off of my hips hastily as I fell over her on the bed. "Scoot back," I growled, crawling over her as she clambered up my silk comforter.

Bella arched her back, leaning forward to take my bottom lip between her teeth and pulling me back down by her hold on my mouth. I felt my cock twitch violently against my boxer briefs and knew we couldn't prolong this. I covered her slender body with my weight, unclasping her bra with three fingers and dragging my teeth along every inch of newly-exposed skin. I tasted the salt of her skin on my tongue, groaning loudly as her hands slid inside my boxers and palmed my ass forcefully.

I tossed her bra behind me, rising up to take each breast in my hands and push them gently together, the sight of them fitting so perfectly into my hands made my brow furrow in the intense wave of pleasure that over took me. "So fucking beautiful," I murmured, leaning down to take one nipple into my mouth as her fingers dug into my scalp.

She cried out as I sucked the sensitive bud forcefully, massaging her other nipple between my thumb and forefinger. She pressed her hot center against my chest as she writhed beneath me, fighting for the friction I was more than happy to give her. "You're skin tastes so fucking sweet," I groaned, planting wet kisses along her chest and neck until I reached her ear. "I want to be inside of you, Bella," I whispered, sliding my hand down her stomach until my palm was pressed flat against the wet fabric of her lace-covered pussy.

She grabbed my hand and slid it inside of her panties. "Take them off and fuck me."

"_Jesus Christ_," I groaned, tugging the tiny scrap of fabric down her legs and leaving her spread bare before me. I ran my hands up and down her thighs, taking in every inch of her smooth skin and every curve of her body.

_She was fucking breathtaking._

I knelt on either side of her legs as she sat up in front of me, pressing a kiss against my stomach as she pulled my boxers down languidly. Her eyes smoldered into mine as she took my cock in her fist and pumped it slowly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, my mouth dry as my dark eyes burned into hers. "You know where they are," I smirked sinfully.

She smiled and shook her head, reaching towards my bedside table and grabbing a magnum. She bit her lip and looked up at me. "Hmm…you're a big boy aren't you, Edward Masen?"

She ripped the wrapper with her teeth and I cursed sharply under my breath. "You're going to find out real fucking soon, beautiful."

"Show me," she whispered, slowly rolling the condom up my shaft as my mouth fell open. Her little fingers slid over my cock until there was nothing stopping me from burying myself deep inside her wet pussy. I placed my palm over her stomach, pushing until she was laying flat underneath me. My forearms fell on either side of her head as our tongues met in quick wet strokes. I reached between us and ran the head of my cock up and down her dripping slit, adding extra pressure every time I reached her clit. She groaned deeply and took two fistfuls of my hair, pulling to the point of pain. A pain I was fucking desperate for.

"Can I help you with something, Bella?" I smiled against her throat, kissing her slowly before meeting her frustrated gaze.

She leaned up and bit down on my earlobe—hard—before wrapping her hand around mine and slowly sliding my cock inside of her. I panted heavily as I stretched and filled her inch by inch. She was so fucking ridiculously tight, I had to concentrate on anything but the feel of her taut walls gripping me or I would bust before my first Goddamn thrust…

She whimpered steadily, her hands gripping the back of my neck tightly as her legs wrapped farther around my waist. "Edward…" she breathed, pulling at my shoulders until my body enveloped her completely.

"Say it again," I murmured, swirling my hips slowly as she adjusted to my length. Her entire body was quivering beneath me, fighting to hold on to me as I filled her to the brim with my throbbing cock.

She called my name in a whimper as I stroked her pussy at a steady rhythm, her fingers digging into my back as I moved above her. "Are you okay?" I breathed against her lips.

She nodded and moaned softly. "I'm better than okay."

I smiled and pulled all the way out before pushing back in, her body already adjusting to take me fully inside of her.

I leaned down and sucked her nipple into my mouth, my teeth grazing across her skin as I picked up my pace. She held my face against her chest, begging me to take her harder…to give her more.

I growled loudly and lifted her from the bed, pulling her on top of me until she was straddling my waist. "Ride me, baby," I panted, holding her waist as she rocked back and forth on my cock.

I was so much deeper in this position as she swiveled her hips over me, my hands reaching up to palm her breasts as she threw her head back wildly. I lifted my hips, pushing into her as far as I could go and repeating the action, each time causing a deep ache of pleasure to shoot through my groin. Fuck, there was no way I was coming yet…not when the girl on top of me was capable of giving me this much mind-numbing satisfaction.

Bella leaned down and kissed my lips, entwining her fingers with mine as she had her way with me. We began moving frantically against one another, the need bubbling up and threatening to explode as the silence of the room was pierced by the loud slapping of our skin. I reached down and circled her clit with my thumb, her muscles instantly clenching around my cock as I drew thick circles around her aching skin. "Come on me, Bella," I demanded, rubbing the swollen flesh where we were connected as her hips convulsed in an uneven pattern. She screamed, collapsing onto my chest as she worked my cock with every throb of her pussy. She looked untamed as she thrashed above me…I was entranced with every shudder, every moan, every sign of her need as she took what she needed from me.

I couldn't hold out much longer, my face twisting from the intense pleasure I felt with every movement of her body. "Tell me what you want…."I practically begged her, my fingers digging into her hips as she moved slowly above me.

She waited until my eyes were unclenched, her smile devious as she stared down at me. "I want it hard…show me what you've got, Edward."

I moaned loudly, my cock growing impossibly larger inside of her as I slid my hands up her arms and took hers, placing them on the top of my headboard. I leaned up and kissed her nipple before running my tongue between both pert breasts. "Don't you dare let go," I warned, sliding my fingers along her sides as I laid back down.

Her eyes closed in anticipation, her body practically humming above me as her fingers curled around my headboard. "Look at me," I growled, waiting until her eyes were connected with mine before lifting my hips completely off the bed and impaling her on my cock. She cried out in a breathy whimper, her hands threatening to loosen from their grip as I held my position deep inside of her. "Don't let go," I reminded her breathlessly, my thumbs drawing circles against her hips.

I closed my eyes and held her against me as I started a frantic, rough pace, our skin sounding out loudly and rapidly together. The room was filled with her high pitched cries of pleasure and my deep moans, our bodies becoming sticky and heated as I pounded her pussy relentlessly just like she wanted. I was nearly dizzy with the scent of our bodies combining, the sounds we made for each other and the aching throb burning deep below my belly button.

It was too much and I couldn't wait another minute to reach my release. I pried her fingers from the headboard and crushed her body to me, both of us sitting up in the bed as she straddled my waist and rode me in heavy circles with her hips. My hands slid down her back and cupped her ass, spreading her until my thrusts were frantic once more. I moaned loudly as her nails dug into my skin and dragged down my spine. "Cum again, baby. Cum with me…I'm…fuck…"

"Yes…I'm so close, please…" she pleaded with me as I fought to hold off on my orgasm until she reached hers…it made me feel so fucking good to give her pleasure, and the second she clenched around my cock and screamed my name I was done, groaning loudly as I released inside the condom. My arms wrapped around her waist and trapped her against me, our wet bodies sliding easily together as we gave into the intense pleasure that had been escalating since our eyes first met at _Secrets_…

Fuck, this girl made me cum so fucking hard it hurt…

I panted breathlessly into her chest, running my hands up and down her back as she slowed her movements above me.

"Bella…" I moaned, a chuckle threatening to break from my lips at just how fucking epic our sex had been.

"I didn't know," she whispered so softly that I barely heard her. "I didn't know it could be like that…"

My chest constricted at the pain in her voice, and I suddenly felt a burst of unbridled anger that some fuckhead guy who was infected with the monogamies didn't treat her like she deserved.

I ran my fingers through her hair, kissing her forehead as she slowly slid off of my lap. I quickly pulled off the condom and tied it up before tossing it in the garbage can next to my bed as she fumbled for her dress.

I was thoroughly confused and a little insulted that she was so eager to run away from me after what we had just given each other.

"Bella?" I questioned softly.

"Hmm?" she smiled back at me as she slid her underwear over her hips.

"Where are you going?"

She smirked at me and patted my head like a dog. "I told you I was going home after you worked me out, playboy."

I stood up and pulled the dress from her hands, tossing it on the other side my bed as I ran my fingers up and down her spine. "Bella…"

"Edward, I'm not sleeping here tonight," she sighed.

I bit back my chuckle. "Bella…"

She rolled her eyes but smiled as she looked up at me. "What, are you going to get clingy on me now?"

I kissed her neck and lifted her from the floor, her eyes going wide as I laid her back down in the bed. "First of all, there's nothing clingy about me. Second of all, I don't expect you to sleep here if you don't want to…but Bella? When did I ever say I was done _working you out, _as you so delicately put it?"

Her brow furrowed in confusion. "But you came…"

My stomach twisted in sympathy for this poor girl. What kind of losers had she been with if they couldn't even give her a round two? Hmm…it was quite clear to me that I would have to do everything in my power to make Bella Swan see God--repeatedly and often--throughout our one ambitious night together. I didn't make a habit of repeat performances, but something inside me was screaming for more of this girl…and I had a hunch that she needed more from me too.

"Bella," I whispered, pressing my lips against hers as I slid her panties down her legs. "I'm going to make damn sure that after tonight, you'll know exactly what you've been missing out on before I entered your world."

She looked at me hesitantly for a moment and I suddenly feared that I'd overstepped my boundaries. "You can leave if you'd like, beautiful. You need to do what feels right for _you_."

"No," she whispered softly, smiling up at me. "I'll stay awhile longer."

Her hungry eyes met mine as my fingers drifted along her chin. "No regrets?" I questioned softly.

She shook her head and pressed her lips firmly against mine.

"No regrets."

* * *

A/N:

**Brits**: Phew…I feel like he just worked _me_ out…  
**Kate**: Brits, can you PLEASE stop humping Playboyward's leg now??  
**Brits**: **rolls eyes** Fine…  
**Kate**: Besides, you have to save your energy for the next chapter....  
**Brits**: Pshh, you get to write the next chapter…until a certain hot piece of doctor comes into play…then imma step my game up…  
**Kate**: STEP OFF MY MAN, HOOR!  
**Brits and Kate tussle briefly, until realizing there's enough hot men in this story to share…kiss and make up**  
**Kate**: Hmm, speaking of hot pieces, we have a few friendly PSA's for all of you lovelies reading along....we'd like to clear up a few things that we've been getting multiple PM's/Reviews about.  
1. There will be no CxE action in this story. If that's what you're looking for, we apologize.  
2. There will be no CxBxE threesome action in this story. We don't have enough kink in our cornflakes for that kind of story line. Wait, wait…we totes do, but not in this little ficcie…  
3. No, we will not reveal the storyline, plot, or other super-secret information. What fun would that be? Just have a little faith in us, we won't lead you astray…WE PROMISE!  
4. And finally, you can leave reviews or PM's for either one of us. We share. Obviously not men though.  
**Brits throws down with Kate again for trying to hog C and E**  
Ahem…anyway, please feel free to contact us with any other questions or concerns you may have…now, time to review us good and proper. We love hearing from you!!!

Be sure to stop by the DLS thread over on twilighted. Link: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=8305&st=0&sk=t&sd=a

Next up Kate will bring us a thoroughly exhausted Bella, and her thoughts about her new life in Miami! Until then!


	3. Cake o' Death and Cotton Balls

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

**Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.**

******

**Chapter Three**

* * *

BPOV

I must have dozed, because I very clearly and sharply jolted awake. I hadn't been very deeply asleep because there was only a split second of disorientation, and then everything came back to me in a rush. Even if I'd wanted to convince myself it was all a dream, the unfamiliar sheets around my nude body and deep regular breathing of the man next to me would have convinced me otherwise.

Moving as carefully and quietly as possible, I lifted my body and craned my neck to look at the bright red LED of the alarm clock on his bedside table: 4:26am.

I lay quietly for a moment, considering my options. I had a sneaking suspicion that Edward wouldn't be opposed to me sleeping a bit later in his bed, and possibly starting off the day with another round of sexual pleasure. I wasn't totally opposed to that myself, in fact.

I smiled involuntarily, feeling how puffy my lips were, how pleasantly sore my body was all over. I wasn't in pain, the stiffness was just a wonderful reminder of the crazy sex we'd had…all night.

I'd _read_ about sex like that and I'd rolled my eyes, scoffed, and figured it was all quivering and multiple orgasms in romance novels, but not real life. Jacob sure as hell hadn't done anything to change my perceptions. On the rare occasion he'd attempted what he considered a "marathon" sex session, I usually ended up eyeballing the alarm clock, calculating how much sleep I could get if he would just _come_ already, and faking a fairly persuasive orgasm.

No need for faking here.

Edward moaned softly in his sleep next to me, and I licked my lips. God, the whole night had been incredible, from the moment he'd ground up against me in front of the elevators, all the way until he'd kissed every inch of my body after our last romp. He hadn't tried to cuddle or spoon with me, and for that I was grateful…instead he'd placed sweet kisses on the back of my neck before falling asleep, one of his hands heavy on my hip.

What to do now, though? I'd fully intended on leaving after our first go-round, until he'd convinced me to stay. I was _very_ glad he'd convinced me, but now, in the last moments of dark before dawn, I knew I needed to go. I wanted my last memories of such a fantastic night to be perfect, not marred by pointed suggestions of a long day ahead or offerings of cab fare on his part.

Moving as quietly as possible, I slid out of the bed, recovering my bra, dress, and panties from where he'd flung them into the far corners of the room. I dressed quickly and stepped into my strappy heels, wincing a little, then chanced a peek into the small mirror that sat on his dresser. I groaned silently: makeup was smudged under my eyes and my hair could best be described as a haystack. I ran my hand through the knots, then licked my index finger and swiped at the dark smudges under my eyes. It would have to do for now.

I sucked in a deep breath and turned to look at the gorgeous man still unconscious in the bed. I hated leaving this way…sneaking out if the truth be told…but we'd come together for a specific purpose, and that purpose was now fulfilled. He mumbled in his sleep and I tiptoed over to him, chancing a closer look at his face. The dark stubble on his jaw and his relaxed expression made him appear much more boyish and vulnerable, but I reminded myself that he was the definitive playboy, and there was no place in my life for chasing after anyone or anything like that right now. I held my breath and leaned over, placing a long gentle kiss to his bristly cheek. His lips curled up slightly in response.

I did one last check to make sure I was decent, and then crept quietly out, pulling the bedroom door shut behind me. As I snuck down the hall, a sudden snuffle and then a whimper against another closed door almost stopped my heart and I froze in place. Silence, and then a plaintive whimper, the click of nails against the hardwood floor.

A dog! Playboy had a dog, and the poor thing was evidently stuck in one of the other rooms. He certainly hadn't excused himself last night to take it outside, and I toyed briefly with the idea of letting it out. What was I supposed to do then, though? Track down a leash and take it downstairs? Is that what people in these high-rises did? What if it was a gigantic ferocious beast and tried to chew my arms and legs off? _That_ would be awkward. Plus, it wasn't as though Edward and I were on intimate enough terms to justify my taking care of his dog.

"Sorry, baby," I whispered to the unseen dog, feeling guilty as I snuck away, into the foyer. My clutch had been thrown carelessly onto a sidetable and I scooped it up, then noticed a nametag that sat there next to his keys.

_Dr. Edward Masen, DVM_

Huh, a _doctor_? Funny that he hadn't pulled that little nugget from his bag of tricks the night before. In my experience, doctors were only too eager to flaunt their credentials, thinking that it canceled out any other shitty characteristics they might have. What was _DVM_, though? I shrugged off my curiosity as I pulled a hairband out of my clutch, trying desperately to stuff my snarled locks up into a semi-respectable ponytail.

I checked again to make sure I had everything: keys; phone; wallet. Then I quietly slipped the deadbolt back and slowly opened the front door, slipping out, and easing it gently shut behind me. The hallway was silent and empty, I breathed a fervent prayer of thanks that I'd be spared a completely blatant walk of shame. It was too late for the paid hookers, and too early for the one-night stands to come stumbling down the hall.

A soft ping and the elevator arrived, doors sliding smoothly open. I darted inside and heaved a sigh of relief, not quite sure why I was so happy to have made a clean escape when there was really nothing for me to run from. Edward had been a perfect gentleman, a mind-blowing lover, and I again thought that he might have been more than happy to roll over and find me still in his bed. The entire evening had been so perfectly orchestrated on _his_ terms, however, that I wanted some small part of it to be on _mine_.

No regrets. An unbelievably mind-blowing night of sex, orgasms that I thought only existed in smutty novels…no need to ruin it with morning breath, embarrassed fumbling, and half-hearted promises that we both knew were lies. Better to leave it the way I remembered it…hot waves of ecstasy, the pinch of teeth nipping my skin, the stretch and ache of him thrusting into me over and over again.

I could feel the flush rising over my cheeks and warmth building between my legs. Edward in bed had been every woman's dream…cocky and almost _too_ self-assured, but he'd more than lived up to his promises. His dick was huge, his fingers were skilled, and he could talk dirty without sounding cheesy. I'd lost count of how many orgasms I'd had after five, and I knew we'd gone through at least three condoms.

For the briefest moment I regretted not at least leaving him a note with my phone number…but what exactly would I say? How about "Thanks for the awesome sex, call me any time you'd like a repeat performance as long as we agree not to get emotionally entangled." Or maybe "I'd like to marry your cock, here's my number."

No way. Edward was a playboy, and I'd needed to get laid. End of story.

I caught a cab and headed home. Being that it was almost 5:30 in the morning, I tried to move quietly through the house, slipping off the killer heels and abandoning them in the foyer. I was about to grab a bottle of water from the fridge when the mess on the living room table caught my eye.

A pizza box, an empty Cabo Wabo Anejo bottle, two glasses, a box of tissues…and the Pepto Bismol. Interesting. I peeked down the hall in the direction of Alice's room: her door was shut but there was a man's shoe sitting smack in the middle of the hallway.

I grinned to myself as I went back to the kitchen for the bottle of water. It looked like I wasn't the only one who'd gotten lucky the night before. I hurried down the hall to my room, hoping I wouldn't accidentally run into a half-naked Jasper; Alice's bedroom was bigger than mine, but it didn't have a private bathroom.

I stripped and took a quick shower, washing away the hedonism of the night before, shivering a little as I remembered Edward's hands on me. Even if I never saw him again, he'd definitely provided me with more than enough fantasy material to make private time with my vibrator a bit more interesting.

I towel-dried my hair, slipped into my most comfortable pair of cotton pajamas, snuggled between the sheets, and was out like a light.

***

"Bella…"

"Go away, Alice," I moaned into my pillow.

"Wake up, I'm not going anywhere until you share every single detail!"

I swatted blindly at her, but she yanked up the covers and slid under them, bumping me over with her bony hip. "Alice, seriously, I need sleep!"

"You can sleep later. Now spill!" She poked me in the side and I finally peeked out from under the pillow I'd smashed over my head.

"Where's Jasper?"

"I just put him in a cab, headed for home. I think I'm still a little bit drunk or I would have driven him myself."

"Yeah, I saw you two tanked the Cabo. That must have tasted great with Pepto Bismol chasers."

She giggled and then groaned. "I drank most of the Cabo, the Pepto was for him."

"How much did he drink?" I rolled onto my back and eyed her curiously. Alice looked pretty rough, she'd be in for one hell of a hangover when the last of her buzz wore off.

"Barely anything, he doesn't usually drink too much. He had one drink at the club and then a couple of shots when we got back here. I ordered a pizza but he was already trashed by that point."

"I'm sure _that_ was fun." Alice and I both hated sloppy drunks that slurred and cried and then inevitably puked all over your shoes.

"Yeah, especially when the pizza came back up." She made a face.

I chuckled sleepily. "I take it there's nothing thrilling to report from your bedroom, then?"

"Unfortunately not, but I got his number and told him I want to see him again."

"Really? Hey, that's great! So what's he like? When he's not puking all over the place, that is."

Alice hugged herself. "He's not my usual type at _all_. He's kinda nerdy and really smart, and he has a weird sense of humor…like the guys on that show, _Big Bang Theory_."

"Dorks."

"He prefers 'geek,' actually." She was unfazed by my teasing. "It was so cute, though, he kept trying to explain to me what he's getting his latest degree in, and I had _no_ clue what he was talking about."

"His _latest_ degree? Wow."

"Yeah, he has a PhD in mathematics already, and he's working on a master's in science right now."

"How old is this guy?"

"Twenty-seven, same as _Edward_. Speaking of whom…" She let her words trail off as she stared at me expectantly.

I grinned. "What do you want to know?"

"Everything!" she squealed, before groaning and pressing her palms to her forehead. "I think the hangover is starting to kick in. Cheer me up."

"Well, we went to that jazz bar, which just so happened to be in the same building as his loft…"

"Sneaky," she commented.

"Yeah, but it was for the best, believe me. And when I say 'best' I mean 'holy shit one of the greatest nights of my life!'"

"So he made you see God?"

"Repeatedly."

"And his dick was…?"

"_Huge_. Like, not quite creepy-porno huge, but he put Mr. Pickle-Dick to shame. And he definitely knew how to use it."

Alice giggled. "Did you spend the night there?"

"Most of it." I peeked at my clock radio, it was almost noon. "I'll be lucky if I can walk straight today."

"Damn, now I'm hungover _and_ jealous. Are you going to see him again?"

"Nah, I didn't leave him my number or anything."

She blinked at me. "Didn't he ask for it?"

"No, I left while he was still asleep."

"Umm, _why_?"

I shrugged. "It was a one-night stand, Alice. I got my itch scratched."

"I wish I'd known," she replied, obviously disappointed. "I could have gotten his number from Jasper before he left."

Right. Because Jasper was Edward's best friend. Somehow in my post-coital, sleep-deprived state, I'd completely forgotten that little fact. Oh fuck.

"I really don't think I want his number, Alice. And I don't want him to have mine."

"Why not?"

"He's not the kind of guy who_ dates_. He's a playboy."

"Yeah, that's kind of what Jasper said too."

"Oh really? What else?"

"Well, he didn't use the word 'manwhore,' but that's the impression I got. I mean, he said he's respectful and all, and that you were perfectly safe with him, but that he rarely sees the same woman more than once."

"See, that's exactly what I mean. Why in the hell would I want to set myself up with someone like that?"

"Because he gave you the best night of sex you've ever had, for starters. Don't you want his number just in case you're hard up again?"

"No," I said firmly. "It was an incredible night, but I'm not going to start programming fuck buddies into my cell phone. That's not me. Last night was a one-time thing with Edward, I'll look back at it as a really great 'Welcome to Miami' gift."

"Well, your paths might cross again, just keep that in mind. I'm definitely planning on seeing Jasper again."

"That's fine," I yawned. "I really doubt I'll see him again otherwise, though. Miami is just too big for that. So what are your plans for the day?"

"I'm going to eat McDonalds and drink a gallon of Gatorade. You?"

"I'll go get your McDonalds if you'll line up some chick flicks for us to watch. I vote that we stay in our pj's all day. I'm not even going to change for the Micky D's drive-through."

She giggled and then groaned again. "Hurry, before this thing really kicks in."

We crashed out in front of the television for the remainder of the day, working our way through _Beaches_, _A League of Their Own_, and were halfway through _The Joy Luck Club_ when Alice's cell phone rang. Her face lit up like a sunrise when she checked the caller ID.

"It's Jasper! Hello?"

I heaved myself off the couch and went into the kitchen, wondering what we'd have for dinner. Our tried-and-true hangover remedy usually consisted of nothing but fast food, but after the value meal I'd scarfed down earlier, I was ready for something a bit less greasy. Especially since the hungover one had perked up considerably since her phone rang, and was giggling madly in the living room.

I'd decided on chicken alfredo, which would be quick and easy, and was carefully inspecting the ingredients on the jar of sauce when Alice floated into the kitchen. "I think I'm in love!"

"Oh boy. How's our lightweight doing?"

"He's as hungover as me. But he wants to see me again!"

"I thought we already knew that," I laughed, dumping pasta into a pot of boiling water.

"Well yeah, but it's different when he calls the next day and says, and I quote, 'If it isn't inconvenient, I was hoping you'd forgive me and consider going on a date with me again soon.'"

"Very sweet," I agreed. "So when are you two going out, then?"

She fiddled with her cell phone. "I hope you don't mind, but he asked if I'd like to get together tonight."

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, why in the world would I mind? Get out there and have some fun with the brainiac so I can wake you up first thing tomorrow morning and demand details."

"But you're already making dinner…"

"I _always_ make dinner, goober. Now go take a shower and get dressed. Is he picking you up?"

"Yep, in an hour. Bella…" Her eyes took on a dreamy look. "He called me his little elf princess. Isn't that sweet?"

I snickered. "Considering you've sucker-punched anyone who ever called you a pixie, elf, or fairy, I think it's kinda funny."

"It's different when he said it. He said it like…"

I waved a spatula at her threateningly. "Okay elf princess, I get the picture. Now get out of the kitchen and go get ready for your Legolas."

"Legos-what?"

"Lord of the Rings, Alice! You'd better get your geek-fetish stuff straight if you're serious about this guy."

"Yeah, you're right." Her brow furrowed. "Do you think he'd be horrified to know that I've only seen the first three Harry Potter movies?"

I shook my head. "I'm not going to touch that with a ten-foot pole. Let him guide you. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to teach you all there is to know about wizards and their wands."

She danced off to her room and I went back to cooking, grinning to myself. Jacob hadn't been hard-core into LotR stuff, but I'd picked up enough from him to know Alice had no clue what she was getting into…her favorite science-fiction movie was _The Neverending Story_.

Exactly forty-five minutes later she was tugging on her eighth outfit while I swirled a glass of wine in my hand and offered advice. The doorbell rang and she shrieked.

"I'm not ready yet! Crap! Bella, can you please go let him in and distract him with small talk?"

"Sure thing, but hurry up or else I'll tell him you think Tolkien is something you do with a doobie."

"What?"

"Never mind," I snorted, getting to my feet. All my oh-so clever jokes had gone completely over her head, hopefully Jasper was the type of guy who would be patient while guiding her through the world of hobbits.

I padded into the foyer and opened the front door to reveal Jasper, looking somewhat tired and red-eyed, but otherwise neatly-pressed and spiffy. He really was a good-looking guy with his blond hair and sweet smile, the glasses he pushed nervously up his nose gave him a very scholarly air. He held a bunch of daisies tightly in his hands.

"Good evening, Bella," he said politely as I invited him in. "It's nice to see you again."

"You too, Jasper. Come on in and sit down, Alice will be out in just a minute. Can I get you something to drink?"

He winced a little. "A glass of water would be perfect, if you don't mind."

"No problem. Rough night?"

He laughed nervously. "Yes, I rarely imbibe liquor, and unfortunately had a bit too much last night. Alice was remarkably patient with my boorish behavior, though."

"She's a real sweetheart," I agreed, setting down the glass of ice water in front of him. He thanked me quietly before downing half the glass.

"I trust you had a nice evening as well?" he inquired finally.

"Hmm? Oh yes, very nice."

"Edward was a gentleman?" he pressed.

I smothered a grin. "Yes, Edward was a gentleman." If 'gentleman' meant that he'd had me screaming his name in ecstasy before kissing me goodnight, then the boy had been raised right.

"I'm glad to hear it," Jasper said primly, finishing off his glass of water. "Edward is my best friend but his behavior is not always circumspect. He is enjoyable to be around, however."

I choked back a laugh, remembering just how _thoroughly _I'd been around Edward last night.

"Are you talking about me?" Alice sang, choosing that moment to make her grand entrance. She'd settled on a short white dress with eyelet lace and full sleeves, probably the closest thing she could imagine to elf-princess-chic.

Jasper's face lit up immediately when he saw her. "Alice, you look lovely."

"Thank you. Are those for me?" She gestured at the flowers Jasper still clutched, and he flushed.

"Yes, I hope you like daisies."

"I love them! Just let me find a vase and then we'll be off."

"I can take care of those for you, if you like," I offered, fairly sure that I'd seen a dusty glass vase under the kitchen sink.

"Oh would you? Thanks, Bella!"

The two lovebirds took off immediately afterwards in Jasper's Prius and I ate the cooling chicken alfredo after washing out a vase and arranging Alice's daisies. It was still early, but I grabbed a book and climbed into bed, fairly sure that it would be an early night for me as I was still pretty tired. Unfortunately I was completely unable to concentrate on the pages in front of me, and my mind kept drifting back to the night before.

God, I hadn't even really believed that sex like that was possible for real people such as myself. For porn stars, sure. But Bella Swan had been settling for Jackass and his pathetic version of bedroom prowess for years.

It would have been almost predictable if Edward had only been good at the chase and build-up, if everything after that had been run-of-the-mill at best. But from the moment he'd ground his magnum-sized cock up against my ass, waiting for the elevator, the entire night had been one non-stop pleasure ride. He took charge without being forceful, had made my climaxes a priority before his, and had been funny and smoldering by turns. He'd definitely made me feel a million times sexier than Jackass ever had, and I'd enjoyed everything we'd done last night. It was too bad that a man of such talents was also the ultimate playboy bachelor, but I didn't regret a single moment of it, even if I knew I wasn't the first or last to be on the receiving end of his attention.

My mind wandered further, remembering his firm hands as he manipulated my body, pulling me on top of him, clutching my hips as I rode him. His confident fingers as they unerring searched out my clit, stroking and pressing with the perfect amount of pressure. His lips and mouth on my breasts, teasing me with his teeth. And the hot pleasurable ache as he thrust into me repeatedly, the exquisite spasms as I came around him, his guttural groans as he gave up and followed me.

I whimpered and dragged my pillow over my head. I was hot and wet and throbbing, just remembering the things he'd done to me. If it wasn't for the fact that I was still the tiniest bit sore, I'd pull Old Faithful out of the bedside table drawer and try to assuage this unbearable tension boiling inside of me. I felt like a nun fresh out of the convent, a prisoner out on parole. A whole new world had been opened up to me, and it seemed that Edward Masen has done his level best to set the bar almost impossibly high.

***

The next two weeks sped by surprisingly fast. After I finished catching up on work, it settled back into its predictable routine. Alice and I went out at least twice a week, although we hadn't gone clubbing again, and we were joined once by two of her friends. Kate and Irina worked at the real estate office next to Alice's modeling agency in South Beach; they were both funny and I had a great time with them. Working from home could be incredibly isolating, so I was glad that I was slowly making friends.

Alice and Jasper were thicker than thieves, going out at least two or three times a week, and talking on the phone when they weren't together. She was blissfully in love, and Jasper seemed equally smitten. He'd hung out at the house a couple of times and I found myself genuinely enjoying his presence…he was goofy but sweet, head-over-heels for Alice, and had completely won me over as well. I'd heard all about his other close friend, Emmett, and his girlfriend Rosalie, but Jasper never mentioned Edward and I didn't ask.

It was no surprise, but I hadn't seen or heard anything from Edward since our one night together. I'd been irrationally disappointed at first, hoping that he might at least pass on a hello through Jasper, but I knew deep down that it was better this way. It would suck enough if I happened to see him again in South Beach some evening, watching him hit on a fake-tanned bimbo and knowing that she would be on the receiving end of his sexpertise that night.

Because the fucker's dick had _ruined _me.

When I fantasized, I thought of his cock and the way he'd used it. I'd woken up from several naughty dreams that featured it prominently. And I was somewhat scared that no other man would be able to satisfy me the way he had. Everyone else would be held against the Edward Masen standard.

I groaned and dropped my head into my hands. It was my twenty-fifth birthday, and if there was ever a day for abandoning regrets, this should be it. I'd convinced Alice that I would rather stay home and get drunk than to go out and get drunk, and she'd reluctantly agreed, perking up when I told her to invite Jasper over for dinner.

Unfortunately work had been a complete pain in the ass that day, Renee had thrown a temper tantrum over the phone when I told her I was _not_ driving up to Jacksonville to celebrate with her and Phil, and to top it off, my truck had refused to start when I'd attempted to go to the store earlier. I'd put in a call to a local classic car dealer who'd promised to get me a quote if I sold it as-is. Not exactly the greatest happy-birthday-to-Bella.

Alice arrived home from work and plopped down on my bed, a brightly-wrapped package in her hands. "I take it your day hasn't gotten any better since the last time I talked to you?"

"Unfortunately not. I thought you were making me dinner as my birthday present?"

"I am. But I had to get you something else too." She grinned and handed over the box. "You'll thank me later, I guarantee it."

I ripped off the cherry-red paper, opened the box, and then burst out laughing. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

"It's the _Platinum_ Jack Rabbit," she replied smugly. "The lady at the sex shop told me it's top of the line, in more ways than one."

"Thanks Alice," I giggled, feeling my spirits lift a little. "This is exactly what I needed. And you got batteries too?"

"Of course." She hopped up and gave me a giant hug. "Even if a vibrator is no match for actual dick, it's better than nothing."

"Indeed," I mused, examining the silver vibrator. "Why don't you spend the night at Jasper's so I can give it a test run later?"

"I was planning on it, actually. I picked up a couple of things for myself at the sex shop too, and figured it was time to make a man out of my guy." The doorbell rang and she grinned. "Speaking of whom, that's probably him. We'll start on dinner, get changed and come have a drink!"

She bounced out of the room and I changed into a cotton sundress, stashing the vibrator in my bedside drawer. It looked like a piece of equipment from the space shuttle next to Old Faithful, and I sighed as I tossed a scarf over them both. Alice was right: no vibrator was a match for actual dick, top of the line or not.

I strolled out into the kitchen, where Jasper jumped up and gallantly presented me with a live orchid, wishing me a happy birthday. I kissed his cheek in thanks and he turned fire-engine red, much to my amusement.

"Hands off my man, Swan," Alice yelled from the corner of the kitchen, where she was cooking hamburgers on her trusty George Forman Grill. Poor Jasper turned even more scarlet.

"Do you ah, have any other plans to celebrate your birthday this evening, Bella?" He'd gotten a lot more comfortable with me, but the bottom line was that Jasper seemed to suffer from terminal shyness when it came to females.

"No, not really. Weird shit always seems to happen on my birthday, call me paranoid but I prefer to keep it as low-key as possible."

"What sorts of anomalies have occurred on your birthday?" Jasper asked curiously as I poured myself a glass of wine.

"Jeez, where to start…there was the year all the hairspray I'd applied ignited when I bent over to blow out the candles…I think that was my thirteenth. And the year Mike Newton spiked my Snapple with vodka and I was grounded for a month because Charlie thought I was drinking."

"Don't forget the year you had the flu and barfed all over that fancy restaurant in Port Angeles!" Alice supplied helpfully. "Or the year you got three speeding tickets in one day."

"And of course, the worst one was the year I met Jackass," I sighed, taking a healthy gulp of merlot.

"Who is Jackass, if you don't mind my asking?"

"My ex." I cocked an eyebrow at Jasper. "I met him on my twentieth birthday. He's kind of the reason that I'm here, in Miami."

"Oh? How did that come about?" This was the most interest Jasper had shown in my personal life.

"He met another woman and threw me out on my ass, basically. Luckily my best friend had a spare room and a kind heart, I can work from anywhere, so here I am."

"What do you do for a living?"

"I help build websites for small businesses."

"_Really_?" Jasper was completely engaged in the conversation now. "What sort of small businesses?"

"All kinds…I don't really choose them myself, although I occasionally pick up some work on the side. Technically, I'm an independent contractor for a business in California…they do the code-monkey work, I tweak the details and interact with the clients. It's a good partnership, all in all."

Jasper nodded sagely. "Those who are most gifted with technical talents are not often equally adept in customer service and interaction."

"Um, yeah, exactly."

"Dinner-time!" Alice announced, depositing a platter of somewhat-blackened hamburger patties in front of us before plopping down next to Jasper at the table. I automatically reached for the mustard, relish, lettuce, and tomato. Jasper dug into his hamburger with a great deal of enthusiasm; if he was choking on the charcoal between the buns he hid it remarkably well. I smothered my briquette in condiments and downed it as quickly as possible.

When we'd finished with our hamburgers and salad, Alice proudly produced a chocolate cake with _HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!_ scrawled across the top. "I didn't make it myself," she apologized. "But they've supposedly got the best cakes in town."

I hesitated, not wanting to be a buzzkill or unappreciative bitch, but not wanting to spend _another_ birthday in the ER either. "Um, Alice, did you ask them…"

"Yep!" she declared proudly. "No cross-contamination, I spoke with the owner myself!"

"Contamination?" Jasper asked warily, eyeing his slice of cake.

"I'm allergic to peanuts," I said bluntly. I hated talking about it, but putting it all out there would be easier than Jasper thinking I had some kind of OCD hang-up about rat fur or whatever it was they said ended up in food these days. As it was, enough people thought peanut allergies were total bullshit that I'd become completely averse to discussing it at all. Triple-checking the ingredients in anything I ate was second nature to me, but I rarely brought it up.

Jasper's eyebrows shot upwards. "You have a severe allergy of that nature?"

"Really, it's no big deal," I muttered, digging into my cake. "I don't have a bad reaction unless I eat straight peanuts or peanut butter or something like that. It's just annoying enough to be careful about."

He regarded me seriously. "I do understand, Bella. I'm highly allergic to shellfish. The gastrointestinal response is horrific."

I shook my head, doing my best to block the images of Jasper's _gastrointestinal response_ from my brain. "I hear you, Jasper. I don't have _that_ particular reaction, but I can either break out in hives or swell up like a balloon and stop breathing, depending on the amount of peanuts."

"Yeah, there was this one time, at Jessica Stanley's graduation party…" Alice prattled, either ignoring or oblivious to my glare. "She ate a bunch of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups on a dare..."

"Yeah, right, moving on…" I snapped, not enjoying the turn the conversation had taken, rubbing nervously at my lips. I was too paranoid about my birthday luck to chance discussing _this_ particular topic.

"…and that's how we found out she could actually _die_ from eating peanuts. I mean, who knew?"

"Food allergies are not something that should be taken lightly," Jasper agreed solemnly. "There are several interesting studies on the subject, about why food allergies seem to be more prevalent now than they were a generation ago…"

I put my hand on my stomach, feeling queasy from the topic, lips tingling more noticeably now. "Can we change the subject?"

Alice and Jasper exchanged glances. "Um, sure," Alice said finally. "We were thinking about going out to a new club tonight, are you coming with us?"

I coughed a little. "Nah, I'm not really feeling very good, it was a pretty crappy day. Can I take a raincheck?"

"Or we could stay in tonight," Jasper volunteered suddenly. "There is a new series on the National Geographic channel that looked particularly interesting."

I reached for my water glass, my throat suddenly feeling thick. "Don't let me stop you guys, if you want to go out."

"Um…right, well…fuck!" Alice blurted out. "Bella, you don't look so hot."

I didn't feel so hot, to be honest. It was either a rapid onset of the flu, or karma had decided to be a cold-hearted bitch and personally deliver the allergic reaction I'd avoided for so long. "Um…the buns?" I wheezed slightly.

"They were the ones in the freezer, that you bought." Alice was on her feet now, concern creasing her face.

God, I felt like I was simultaneously going to puke and suffocate, if such a thing was possible. "Cake?"

"Oh fuck…Bella, where's your Epi-Pen? In your purse?" Alice demanded, reaching out to yank my plate with its last bite of cake away.

I shook my head, wheezing more, feeling my throat tighten. "Benadryl?"

Alice flashed over to a cabinet and returned with the bottle of liquid Benadryl that I'd stashed there when I unpacked. She wrestled with the child-proof cap before Jasper pulled it away and carefully twisted the top off. "How much…?" he started, before I reached out and grabbed the bottle from him, my hands and arms already feeling fuzzy. I tipped the bottle back and took a couple of heavy chugs, not bothering with the little plastic measuring cup. There were enough functioning brain cells in my clouded mind to remember that my Epi-Pen had expired a few weeks ago. I hadn't had a reaction in years, and I'd been so distracted with the Jackass drama, getting a new one hadn't been high up on my list of priorities.

Alice was still on her feet, wringing her hands. "It must have been the cake, but I _talked_ to the owner, and explained to him…"

I coughed again, the sickening sweet taste of the Benadryl making me want to puke even more now. Alice was at my side in a moment, her arms around me. "Jasper, I think we should take her to the hospital."

He nodded immediately even as I wheezed out a weak "Hell no." Alice's arms tightened around my shoulders.

"Bella, you're having trouble breathing. Just humor me, this once? Please?"

Jasper was already gone even as I reached up to rub my face. "I don't wanna…"

"Too bad. We're going." She grabbed both our purses and hauled me out the door; for such a tiny person Alice could be incredibly strong. She sat in the backseat with me as Jasper drove us to the local ER. Luckily the allergy symptoms hadn't gotten any worse, but the Benadryl I'd sucked down was hitting me like a mack truck. I must have looked pretty out of it because they hustled us into the back right away, leaving Jasper in the waiting room. By the time the triage nurse tried to strap a blood pressure cuff on me, I was giggling like I was drunk.

"Alice…I want you to sing happy birthday to meeee!" At some point I'd started hiccupping too. "Because it's always a fucked up birthday…and a beautiful day in the neighborhood…"

"Shh, Bella, just calm down and be quiet," Alice replied frantically, her eyes darting around us. I didn't know what the hell she was looking at, they'd parked my ass on a bed surrounded by a curtain.

"Don't they even have _rooms_ anymore? The service in this place sucks!" I announced loudly.

"Shhhh!"

"Don't shush me, Mary Alice Brandon! You're the one who fed me Cake o' Death." I stumbled over the last words but then giggled at how clever I was. I was about to make another comment about shitty birthdays when the curtain was pulled back and…oh, hellllloooo doctor!

"You're cute!" I told the hottie in the white coat.

"Bella!" Alice looked mortified. "I'm so sorry, she has a _really_ weird reaction to Benadryl, and I think she took quite a bit."

"It's no problem." Dr. Sex-on-Legs said, smiling. "I'm Dr. Cullen. How are you feeling, Bella?"

I eyeballed him appreciatively, from his blond hair, down his long legs, to the tips of his toes. "I'm great _now_."

"No more problems breathing?"

"Wellll…I dunno, I think I might need mouth-to-mouth."

Alice gave me a withering look as Dr. Fuck-Me-Please choked back a laugh and turned to her. "How do you think she was exposed to the peanuts?"

"I like nuts!" I said proudly, but they both ignored me this time.

"I got her a cake from Bronner's Bakery, in Coral Gables. I spoke with the owner and he assured me that they're very careful about preventing cross-contamination, but obviously they're not."

Dr. Do-Me-Now frowned and wrote something down on the chart he had in his hands. "We've actually had several cases like this come in after having eaten food from that bakery. It looks like I'll be making another phone call to the health inspector. So you said she took liquid Benadryl to counteract the reaction? But that the symptoms weren't too severe?"

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, sticking my lip out in a pout. They were both obviously going to ignore me, so I took the opportunity to size up the good doctor as he spoke with Alice. He was definitely the best-looking doctor I'd ever had in the hospital, and God knows I'd had plenty. I tried to peek at his ass, but it was covered up by his white coat, so instead I eye-fucked my way up his body. Under the sexy coat he was wearing a royal blue dress shirt that nicely accentuated a solid chest and an expensive-looking tie that I imagined wrapping around my fist as he took me for a ride. Riding Dr. McYummy…ooooh…

He wrote a few more notes in the chart and then set it aside, turning to me with a smile that crinkled up the corners of his bright blue eyes. "I think you'll be just fine, Bella. I'm going to examine you real quick as a precaution, but then I think you'll be on your way. Now take a few deep breaths for me…in…and out."

I complied without comment after catching the evil glare that Alice was shooting my way. I was pretty sure I was supposed to be ashamed that I was having naughty nurse fantasies as he listened to my heart and lungs, but fuck if I cared. Because seriously, Dr. Scream-My-Name smelled really _really_ good. As his hands gently moved along under my jaw, I turned my head and took a nice long sniff of his sexy white doctor's coat.

"You smell great…like cotton balls," I told him in my most seductive voice.

He grinned openly that time. "What do sterile cotton balls smell like?"

I batted my lashes at him. "I don't know, but I like it."

Alice looked like she wanted to punch me in the head.

Dr. Make-Me-See-God chuckled and wrote down a final note in the chart. "She'll be fine as soon as the Benadryl wears off."

"I'm _so_ sorry about this, she's not usually like this at _all._"

"Don't worry about it, even over-the-counter medicines can provoke some strange reactions in the human body. Take her home, get her into bed, check on her a couple of times overnight. A nurse will call tomorrow to follow up, but I'm pretty sure everything is okay. Bring her back in if the symptoms return."

"Will you be here?" I asked brightly, wondering if I could get my hands in his sexy blond hair next time.

"Probably so. Goodnight, Bella, take care of yourself."

"Same to you!" I called, considering trying to slap his ass as he left my little curtained nook.

"Bella, oh my God!" Alice hissed. "Since when does Benadryl turn you into a raving nymphomaniac?"

"Since that hot piece of ass walked in here," I replied cheerfully. There was a muffled sound, like a cough from the other side of the curtain, and Alice kicked me.

"You are not to speak again until we leave, got it? If I have to tape your mouth shut, I will."

"Fine," I said sulkily, pouting like a toddler. "Happy fuckin' birthday to me."

***

I woke up the next morning feeling groggy and almost hungover. Apparently the birthday curse was alive and well…my memory of the night before was hazy, but I remembered enough to know it hadn't been fun...and that I owed Alice a big apology.

I groaned and sat up in bed, Alice appeared at my door as if on cue. "Good morning sunshine! Feeling better?"

"Better is a relative term, but yeah. I'm sorry you had to babysit my pathetic ass last night."

She giggled and plopped down on the bed. "Since I'm the one who fed you the Cake o' Death, as you put it, it was the least I could do."

"Is Jasper traumatized for life?"

"No, he was really worried. He stayed the night and we took turns checking on you, to make sure you were still breathing."

"Stupid fucking allergy," I muttered.

"Actually your reaction wasn't that bad, but the Benadryl you took sure messed you up."

"What did I do?"

"You don't remember trying to molest the ER doctor?"

A hazy memory, something about naughty nurse fantasies, flitted through my mind. "Oh God, what did I say?"

"You made comments about nuts and balls and his ass."

"Oh fuck." I could feel my face heating up. "Was _he_ traumatized?"

Alice laughed. "Nah, he was a really good sport about it. It's a good thing he was so hot, though…it would be twice as embarrassing if he'd had a bald spot and a beer gut. I don't know why I always get the old fart doctors…I've never seen one that good-looking. He looked like a movie star."

"We can never go back to that hospital again," I moaned. "I should send him flowers and an apology card."

She rolled her eyes. "Somehow I don't think having a cute young thing hit on him is the worst thing that happened in his day. At least you didn't throw up on him or anything."

"Well that makes me feel _much_ better." I slouched back down under the covers. "I think I'm going to try and get a couple more hours of sleep."

"Good idea. I've got to go to work, but here's your phone." She set it on the bedside table. "Call me if you need _anything_. Oh, and Dr. Cullen said a nurse is supposed to be calling to check on you, so make sure you answer it."

"Okay, mom," I said obediently.

She reached over and gave me a quick hug. "I'm glad you're okay. Remember, call me if you need to!"

After Alice left I snuggled back under the covers and drifted off to sleep. I was awakened a couple of hours later by the ringing of my phone; the phone number was unfamiliar but I remembered Alice's warning that a nurse from the hospital would be calling to follow up.

"Hello?" I answered sleepily.

"Bella Swan? This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen from the hospital, calling to check up on you."

Oh fuck, it figures that the hot doctor I'd tried to molest would be the one to call me. I shot up in bed, rubbing a hand over my face. "Oh, hi…listen, I am so sorry about last night. I mean, I don't remember much but apparently I was completely inappropriate and I wanted to apologize…"

He laughed. "No apology needed, truly. I see much stranger things on a daily basis."

I blew out a deep breath. "Yeah, but I'm not usually like that at all. I'm really embarrassed."

"Don't be, I'm just glad you're all right. Are you feeling better? No problems breathing, no residual symptoms from the allergic reaction?"

"No, I'm fine, honestly. I was a little groggy earlier, but I feel much better now."

"I assume you have an Epi-Pen?"

"Yeah, but it's expired…I just moved here a few weeks ago and getting a new one completely slipped my mind. I haven't had a reaction in years."

"Make sure you take the expired one in and exchange it for a new one _today_. Doctor's orders. You're fine to drive but you may want to take the day off work, just to give your body a chance to fully recover from the allergic reaction."

"I work from home, it's no big deal."

"Oh?" I could hear him writing in the background. "What do you do?"

"I build websites for small businesses."

There was a slight pause. "Really? You do that by yourself?"

"Well, I work for a company based out of California. The guys there do the majority of the build work, and then I work with the clients to tweak it into exactly what they want."

"I ask because I'm looking for someone to build a website for me at the moment. This is actually my last week at the hospital, I'm opening up a private practice next month and wanted a simple website for it. Just basic information: location, hours, a meet-your-doctor page, and so on."

"Oh, I could do that for you myself," I said, my interest piqued. "I mean, as long as you don't want a huge complicated website, I could do all the building and code for you, and I'd only charge you half of what the company I work for would."

"Charge me whatever your normal fee is, I'm just happy to have found someone with almost no effort on my part. I'm running around like a madman right now as it is."

I blinked, it sounded like I was hired. "Would you like to see some examples of my work? I could e-mail you the addresses of a few sites I've built."

"Better yet, if you don't mind, why don't we set up a business meeting? A late lunch, perhaps? I could tell you exactly what I'm looking for and then I'll leave the rest up to you."

"Um, sure." I tried to switch my brain over to business mode. "When were you thinking?"

"How about the day after tomorrow, Friday? I'm working the midnight shift that evening so I'll have plenty of time for a lunch meeting. Is two o'clock convenient for you?"

"Absolutely." I made a mental note to get my portfolio updated today. "Where would you like to meet?"

"Your address in your chart is in Coral Gables, I know a wonderful Italian restaurant there called Portofino. How does that sound?"

"Perfect."

"Great!" He sounded pleased. "I won't keep you, but I look forward to seeing you again."

"Yeah, you can meet the _real_ Bella Swan, not the doped-up stranger who was masquerading as me last night."

He laughed. "That reminds me, I wanted to wish you a belated happy birthday. I'm sorry that it ended up with you in the ER, but I'm glad we met."

"Me too. I mean, I'm glad you're taking me seriously after the way I acted."

"No harm done. All right then, Bella, I will see you on Friday, have a great rest of the week!"

"You too, Dr. Cullen. And thanks again." I hung up the phone, my mind humming.

Was it wrong that I was going to have a business relationship with someone I'd attempted to hump in the middle of the ER? Probably, but he'd been completely professional in a no-harm-no-foul kind of way. Thank God for that.

I got up and looked at the discharge and aftercare papers Alice had left on my desk; Dr. Carlisle Cullen's neat signature was at the bottom. Hmm, why in the world had _he_ called me, weren't doctors too busy to do that kind of follow up these days? Especially since my allergic reaction hadn't been that severe. Oh well, if it scored me a build job on the side, it would be worth it...

I groaned as another memory from the day before hit me. Yep, another job would be good…because I had to start looking for a new car.

* * *

A/N:

Kate: La la la, I got to write about Dr. McYummy's cotton balls!  
Brits: Oh yeah? Well I'll be writing the next chapter in CPOV, so I can do an entire scene of him _playing_ with his cotton balls if I wanted to. ***sticks tongue out at Kate*  
**Kate: Oh YEAH? Well...I...I can't top that. ***Kate cries***  
Brits: Don't cry! The readers want to hear about said balls through BPOV...you must prevail!  
Kate dries her tears: Oh yeah! Maybe he can help her break in that Platinum Jack Rabbit?!?  
Brits: Oh God...you have no idea the depraved and kinky things that you've just set off in my mind....I better get writing! Dr. Fuck-Me-Now, here I come! ***Cough***  
Kate: Hey Brits, what do you say about us offering a little incentive for people to review?  
Brits: I'm listening...  
Kate: Like maybe you could let Edward out to play a little next chapter too? Reviews make him as happy as they make us!  
Brits: Playboyward _and_ the HotDoc in one chapter? Do you really think they can handle all that sexiness??  
Kate: I don't know...I guess they'd better tell us! ***smiles pretty at the lovely readers*** Review please?  
Brits: Leave us some love and inspire me to get cracking on the next chapter! :) Until next time!


	4. Flying

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

* * *

**CPOV**

I popped my ear buds in and swirled my finger over the dial of my iPod until I found my running mix. This selection of music was as vital to me as morning coffee, as the Florida Marlins…as air. I tightened the laces of my Nikes and stretched my legs, preparing myself for the vigor of my morning run.

I was a man of routine, starting my day with _Beethoven Virus by DDR_, segueing into _Mozart: Requiem_. The power of the melodies and crashing crescendos intermingled with the pounding of my feet against pavement, the rising sun blessing the day with its light from above the dark horizon of the sea, the chill of the morning biting at my skin. But I lived for that chill. It left just as quickly as it came but for one blissful moment in the early morning hours of Miami, you could let the cold run through your veins and allow your blood to pump at a furiously refreshing rate.

As _Confutatis_ began playing loudly, I picked up my pace, exhaling contentedly as the sheen of sweat that began to form on my body now stung with the frigid breeze that swept around me. Nearly every morning between the hours of four-thirty a.m. and six, I allowed my seldom-peaceful mind to wander. In one week's time, I would be terminating my employment at Mercy Hospital to open my own private practice. To say I was excited would be a vast understatement.

It wasn't that I disliked my current occupation, more that the discrepancies of other hospital staff and the general lack of compassion were starting to discourage me. All too often my colleagues would put themselves before the well-being of the patient, making them wait for no valid reason, diagnosing quickly and sometimes incorrectly in order to hurry about their day. But my greatest concern at Mercy was the lack of staffing.

It was nearly every day that I was running madly around my ER, doing my work and the work of others simply because there wasn't enough help. It's not to say that any of our patients were being neglected or were in any sort of danger. The professionals at Mercy were excellent doctors at the heart of it. The fact of the matter was, the practice of medicine no longer held the value it once had. Now the MD's were more concerned with their title and the added perks involved with it. They took an oath, and while medically they weren't doing anything wrong, we all dedicated ourselves to helping the human race, not just glancing at a chart and dismissing them quickly in order to make it to the golf course by three.

I was disheartened, and all I wanted to achieve by opening my own practice was to create a safe haven for the people of Miami. To let them know that throughout the changing world of plastic bodies and the immorality of our fast-paced environment, there was still someone you could trust.

You could trust me.

The date of my grand opening was fast approaching and I had yet to find a proper website builder to promote my business online. It was immensely important to advertise via the web, since the information highway was now one of the leading ways to gain clients as well as effectively establish your good name to the community.

It was one thing I had prided myself on, my sincerity. There had certainly been some instances in my life that I wish I could have erased. But the one thing that had held true amongst the rapacious evenings and the blonde nurses—was my dedication to the medical field and the people I treated.

My twenties and thirties were occupied by three things: medicine, women, and the club scene. I wasn't proud of it. I'd convince myself night after night that this was what I wanted to do. I was a young doctor, I was attractive and that worked for me. I wasn't missing a life of intimacy, love, or family. I was living life to its fullest, not limiting myself to the chains of matrimony. And every night that I found myself alone, or even nights when an unidentified woman was tangled in my sheets, I'd fight back my pure loneliness and convince myself this was the life for me.

Looking back, it was clear to see just how miserable I truly was, and maybe just how much I desired the intimacy I attempted to deny.

I had entertained myself with the company of different women, all the while being respectable in my advances. Although my actions were somewhat suspect, I worshipped the female body. I wasn't a barbarian when it came to the act of sex. I caressed, I paid attention, I put my pleasure on the backburner because that's what gave me_ satisfaction_. I wanted to watch my lover reach her peak before I allowed myself to join, only because a woman in the height of her orgasm, in my opinion, was one of the most beautiful sights in this world.

Realistically I knew what set me on my path of women and promiscuity. I had been scorned…and much too young to feel the power of love that I had felt. But God help me, I felt it...I was _enveloped_ in it.

I was seventeen years old when I met Esme Platt. Seventeen years old when I fell so desperately in love that I thought the whole world would crumble from the intensity of my adoration for her. All those years ago and still my heart lurched at the thought of her name.

The Platts were the epitome of elite, their old money stretching far back into the years. They spent that idealistic summer vacationing in Miami, where I had been fortunate enough to grow up my entire life. Esme resided in Chicago, and stole my heart on the beaches of Miami with an ice cream cone in her hand and an obnoxiously-large sunhat atop her head.

She was absolutely breathtaking.

We were inseparable during our one and only summer. We only had a handful of months together but that girl was a part of my soul. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that she was meant for me and found myself beyond lucky to have found my one true love at such an early age.

The day she left was one I'll never forget. It felt like my heart, my stomach, my insides were being pulled out of me in long, painful grasps. I resented the sun and the breeze and the laughter around me because the light was gone…the sun had burnt out with my last sight of Esme Platt.

She was devastated as we said our goodbyes, promising me she'd write, promising me we'd find each other again. I had been such a fool. I wrote her every day for well over a year, and had very nearly lost my mind with each letter sent. I heard nothing in return…absolutely nothing.

I did everything in my power to contact her, even attempted to travel to Chicago and find her myself until my father convinced me of everything I would lose in the process. None of it mattered at the time, but disappointing my father was something my body physically rejected. Even though my entire life revolved around the girl who had left me, I still couldn't bring myself to go against my father's wishes. It was a blessing and a curse, in the grand scheme of things.

I was absolutely destroyed from our separation and lack of communication. I completed my senior year of high school as a shell of the person I used to be, my friends eventually giving up as the pain that radiated from me became too much to bear.

I still don't know at what point I recovered from the darkest pits of my own personal hell. I vaguely recall the summer after graduation, drowning myself in alcohol and becoming a somewhat deranged individual. If I hadn't applied to medical school the previous summer, I'm certain I never would have taken the initiative to become anything other than heartbroken and alone.

And angry.

Oh was I angry at the girl who told me she loved me more than love itself. The girl who shined when her eyes met mine, who hung on every word that fell from my lips. How could she have left me so abruptly? How could everything have ended so terribly wrong?

Once I left for medical school, I finally began the process of letting Esme Platt go…and replacing her with countless others. It was my coping mechanism of sorts, busying myself with school and girls to the point of exhaustion. If I was studying, I couldn't think of Esme. When I was intoxicated and absorbed in the girl of my choice, I didn't _need _to think of Esme. They became my safety blanket. A protection from the raw heartache she instilled upon me.

She had essentially ended my life and replaced it with a figment of despair and emptiness.

It wasn't until eighteen years later that I found out why.

It was three weeks after my thirty-sixth birthday. I had just landed my first attending physician position, had purchased a beautiful home directly on the beach and, overall, I had everything I'd ever dreamed of achieving. I wasn't indulging in female companionship as steadily as in the past, even allowing myself to explore the idea of exclusive dating. In the beginning it scratched at my still open wounds, the pain of what Esme had done to me still making its presence known beneath many suppressed surfaces.

I eventually found a therapist and had begun working through my past issues, finally seeing a faint light at the end of a dark and sinister tunnel.

That light was my son.

And I knew he was mine and hers the second I opened my front door. A tall boy with Esme's beautiful bronze locks and green eyes. A solid boy with my chiseled jaw and nervous crooked smile. My flesh and blood was standing on my doorstep…my boy…a boy that I didn't even know existed.

I saw the recognition in his eyes as well, once he observed me in the doorway for a moment. We didn't blatantly resemble one another, more like the simple mannerisms and hidden characteristics that only the self recognizes on a daily basis. He was a part of me.

We said nothing to each other as he shifted awkwardly on my step, words unnecessary as we silently recognized the first encounter of father and son. The questions in my mind were so overwhelming and loud that I had to hold my head from the sheer velocity of their assault.

Once I regained a somewhat clear frame of mind, I invited him in and we started what came to be the longest and most significant conversation of my life. His mother, my long lost love, had only informed him of his true parentage days before his "father" died from lung cancer. I went on to learn many things about the son I never knew I had. He had grown up insanely wealthy and surprisingly level-headed. The death of the only father he'd ever known was traumatizing, but his mother's timing of indulging her deep dark secret of my paternity only fueled the pain. It confused him, and it generally hurt him that he had been lied to for so long.

He wasn't the only one.

The mother he described was not the vibrant girl I had once known. The woman he described was one of conceit and material possession and selfishness. All he wanted was to escape the caged existence of belonging to a family of power and money.

So he came to me.

And I welcomed him with open and willing arms.

He soon began renting a home nearby my residence, allowing us closeness without the potential awkwardness of living with a technical stranger. He enrolled in UM, and I was so very proud of him for pursuing medicine. All he could do was shrug and say that his mother would be disappointed in his pursuit of Veterinary Medicine. All I could say was that I had never been prouder.

Since I had been void from the first eighteen years of Edward's life, we were left with a bond that resembled friendship more than anything. because while we would play and joke like friends do, there was a fondness in our relationship that could only be defined as the love of a father and son.

Edward was my best friend, and I'd gladly relive all my years of pain and solitude to have his presence in my life.

If I had one and only wish, it would be to have a chance to relive all the vital years of my son's life that I had missed. The pain of not watching him grow up, of not supporting him and molding him into a man was the biggest loss I'd ever felt. More than lost love or empty pursuits of physical satisfaction. My biggest regret would always be missing out on the fundamentals of my son's life, no matter how out of reach they had been to me at the time.

To date, Esme had never attempted to contact me, whether because of nerves or simple ignorance. There were so many unanswered questions that both Edward and I needed answers to, but the fleeting moments when she decided to call Edward were filled with ramblings of her latest destination and the fun she was shamelessly having.

I had struggled internally with the idea of contacting her, finding her and demanding to know why she hadn't given me the option of knowing my own flesh and blood. I finally decided that I had spent too much of my life searching for Esme, and the fact that Edward was now in my life would be enough to mollify all of the question marks of my past.

I was convinced that the girl I fell in love with had died along with the heart she destroyed inside of me.

On the plus side, knowing of Esme's irresponsibility had helped in the closure process. While I still yearned for the girl I gave my heart to all those years ago, therapy was helping me realize that living in the past was no way to live at all. I began focusing on the positives in my life. My son, my career, my new zest for life.

It had been almost ten years since I was introduced to Edward, and ten years since I had become a changed man. It was he who had convinced me to really start dating, to let go of the past and do something for myself for a change. It surprised me how much I enjoyed getting out there and meeting new people. It was amazing the conversation you could carry with a woman when you weren't trying to bed her.

While the dating game was now an active part of my life, I still hadn't found anyone that made me tick. At first it was discouraging, but after time I realized that I may never find the one person meant for me. And even though the threat of solitude seemed to be a definite possibility, I had to embrace the positives in my life.

I would date when the opportunity presented itself, but I was content in being alone, focusing on the plans for my practice and diving into my work to pass the time.

I had been steadfast in denying the advances made by the majority of the female nursing staff—and several male. I laughed it off and allowed myself to be flattered, but refused to resort back to the emptiness of my past life.

I broke from my heavy thoughts and rested my hands above my knees, panting for air and suddenly realizing how hard I had been pushing myself. It wasn't every morning I permitted myself to contemplate everything I had lost and gained in my forty-five years on this earth, but when I did, it exhausted me.

I paused my iPod and ran my forearm across my brow, wiping away the sweat that had pooled there. My Miami chill had since been replaced with the sweltering heat. Taking in my surroundings, I realized that I had already run five miles. I'd have to push hard in order to make it home and to work on time. I ran stealthily, each pull of my muscles and ache in my bones making me feel alive and healthy.

I allowed my mind to wander away from painful and complex thoughts, since the heaviness sometimes made my chest constrict. I wanted this run to be light and carefree.

The idea of being carefree made me chuckle as I jogged in the direction of home, spiraling into the events of the previous night.

Working in an ER will bring you into direct contact with all types of people with varying ailments. Some moments are sad, difficult, and disheartening, but others can put a smile on your face and allow you to keep it with you long after you've bid them farewell.

Yesterday evening, the Benadryl-induced musings of Bella Swan had done just that.

A young woman with a peanut allergy who had replaced her expired Epi-Pen with an over-the-counter fix had served to be my source of entertainment—as well as my last patient of the night.

Medically she was fine, which allowed me to chuckle at the ramblings and bold statements from someone who was clearly too inebriated to know better. I was taken aback from the moment I pulled open the curtain and stepped into exam room three.

I was met with the glossy, deep brown eyes of a woman who held a beauty so unique that someone less observant could have easily overlooked the stunning qualities she possessed. The fact that she was young enough to be my daughter pulled at my conscience as I observed the appealing blush of her cheek, but I quickly dismissed it. No one truly knew how old I was, considering my youthful appearance. And that's not me being conceited, simply truthful. With my daily workout regimen and superb genes, I didn't look a day over thirty-five. The old Carlisle Cullen would have used it to his advantage…but that was no longer me.

Instead, I just shook my head and laughed at at her boldness, taking her compliments and enjoying the temporary ego boost she bestowed upon me in her drugged state.

Her long dark hair swung in her pony tail and she gestured wildly as she spoke, her friend looking on in absolute horror. I assured her it wasn't a problem at all, but sympathized with her embarrassment.

After all, Bella did sniff my coat and tell me that I smelled like cotton balls.

And then of course there was the moment she called me 'a hot piece of ass' when she thought I couldn't hear her.

_Memorable indeed._

I found her simply adorable as she babbled, ignoring her friend's exasperated looks and reprimands. I refused to allow myself to read too much into it, although Bella had awoken more within me in her ten minute consult than any of my several-hour dates. Of course I would be intrigued by a beautiful girl who said everything that came to mind—a mind that was filled with thoughts of my attractiveness.

She had put a bounce in my step as I left the hospital that night, and had managed to pop in and out of my head every moment since.

***

The paperwork seemed never ending, just like the ebb and flow of patients that walked through those glass doors. There weren't enough hours in the day to file and document when there were patients to attend to, which always put an added weight on my shoulders.

I worked as fast and efficiently as I could, running my fingers violently through my hair as my leg bobbed in concentration. My head was starting to ache and it was clear to me that even though it was late morning, I already needed a quick break to clear my overwhelmed mind.

Overall, the day had been pleasant. No serious cases had come in yet, and the quiet murmur in the confines of the ER was rare and welcomed as people came and went peacefully. Of course there was always a wailing child in the building, but thanks to my exceptional selective hearing, I hadn't heard a screaming child since roughly 1998.

I rose from my desk and shut the door behind me, whistling the beginning notes from the _Ave Maria_ as I rounded the corner to the receptionist's desk. I smirked as a group of huddled nurses and aides straightened up the moment I came in, not so slyly covering the fact that they were discussing how the color of my dress shirt made my "blue eyes pop."

"Ladies," I nodded my head in greeting as they stared back at me.

I was met with a chorus of, "Good morning, Doctor Cullen."

One of the newer nurses—Emily—straightened up and heaved a sigh as she addressed her fellow gossipers. "Well, I suppose I'll do that follow-up on the allergy case from last night, and then I'm taking a much needed lunch."

My ears perked up the moment "allergy case" left her mouth. Of course, it didn't necessarily mean that it was Bella Swan, but I couldn't deny my piqued interest that it very well could be. Before I even realized what I was doing, I stepped forward and leaned across the counter, smiling crookedly at the congregated ladies. "Emily, why don't you head on out and grab your lunch? I can do the follow-up for you." My eyes hungrily searched the chart in her hand, falling on the words _Isabella M. Swan_. "I treated her last night anyway," I shrugged, reaching for the chart. "I might as well be the one to check up on my own patient."

Emily suddenly went cross-eyed as she stared back at me. Eventually she smiled brightly and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Sure, Doctor Cullen," she purred. "Thank you so much for assisting me. What a sweetie."

I bit the inside of my lip and suppressed my chuckle, her fingers brushing against mine as I took Bella's information from her eager hand. "It's really no trouble, Emily."

"Or, you know," she paused, pulling at the ends of her hair and licking her lips, "I could wait until you're done and we could both grab a coffee?"

I smiled almost bashfully as my eyes fell to the floor. Just because I didn't pursue the nursing staff didn't mean that I took pleasure in shooting them down. "I've still got some paperwork to go through, Emily, but maybe next time, all right?"

She nodded, clearly disappointed, and I waved a short goodbye to the audience that was now staring at the scene in front of them with gaping mouths.

Mercy Hospital literally could be its own soap opera…yet another reason I was anxious for my departure.

I walked back to my office leisurely, turning around periodically to see Emily still staring at me as I retreated from reception. Just another day in the life.

I sat at my desk and absently played with the file in my hand, determining whether or not it was indeed appropriate to contact Bella. _Of course it was._ I had been her attending physician last night, and had even informed her that she would be receiving a follow-up call from a nurse the next day. But I was no nurse. I was an extremely busy doctor who had zero time for follow-ups, pondering about follow-ups, or thinking of the person involved in said follow-up. Yet, here I was…thinking, and pondering.

I decided to just pick up the phone and make my call. It was simply a piqued interest in a beautiful and highly-memorable patient. It wasn't as if I'd be doing anything but checking on her well-being in the utmost professional manner. I'd assess the situation as the doctor who'd signed off on the case and, once I was certain the patient was in a healthy state, end the phone call.

Okay, so I may have been a _little_ eager to see what Bella would be like without the influence of over-the-counter medicine.

The phone rang several times before it connected, a loud rustling noise on the other end giving way to a gentle, raspy voice. "Hello?"

"Bella Swan? This is Dr. Carlisle Cullen from the hospital, calling to check up on you."

Why the hell were my palms sweating?

There was a long silence before she replied. "Oh, hi…listen, I am so sorry about last night. I mean, I don't remember much but apparently I was completely inappropriate and I wanted to apologize…"

I laughed heartily, fighting the urge to tell her that she'd been positively endearing in her influenced state. "No apology needed, truly. I see much stranger things on a daily basis."

She restated her embarrassment, but I simply assured her once more that she had nothing to be ashamed of. Before I felt the urge to turn this conversation into playful banter rather than a doctor checking up on his patient, I proceeded to ask her how she was feeling, and if any of her symptoms had been reoccurring.

"No, I'm fine, honestly. I was a little groggy earlier, but I feel much better now."

Her voice was melodic and refreshing, causing me to grin widely.

After I discussed with her the importance of always having a functioning Epi-Pen, I begrudgingly began my parting words of medical suggestions.

"Make sure you take the expired Epi-Pen in and exchange it for a new one _today_. Doctor's orders. You're fine to drive but you may want to take the day off work, just to give your body a chance to fully recover from the allergic reaction."

She informed me that she worked from home, and the words were out of my mouth before I had time to filter the response. "Oh? What do you do?"

I was writing aimless notes on her chart, trying to remember who I was and what this call was supposed to be pertaining to. There was nothing inappropriate about asking someone what their occupation was, yet I felt like a criminal in the process.

_I just didn't want to get off the phone with her._

"I build websites for small businesses," she informed me.

My jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

For weeks I had been searching for someone to build and design the website for my private practice. I had met with several independent builders, but none of them really understood the vision I was trying to instill. I had planned on just moving forward with a more corporate-based web design company but…..when opportunity knocks, you might as well listen.

We discussed her profession adamantly back and forth, the extent of her involvement in the California-based company she was employed by, and her ability to tweak any website into exactly what the client desired. By the end of our discussion, I sincerely wanted her to build mine.

And I was quickly learning that the silly woman who entered my ER last night was a far cry from the level-headed, business-oriented Bella Swan. I was torn on that matter. While I assumed Bella was being professional, and doing far better than I in the process, I had hoped that some traces of that jubilant young woman could still be found in the amazing persona she carried.

I found myself wanting to learn more. I found myself wanting to find a piece of her carefree disposition and embrace it as my own. I'd settle for her work on my website, because fraternizing with patients—past, present or future--was not something I allowed myself to do, even in my days of promiscuity.

"Would you like to see some examples of my work? I could e-mail you the addresses of a few sites I've built."

Her voice was alight with excitement, and it was clear to me that she truly enjoyed her profession. I suppressed my budding curiosity and focused on the task at hand: getting my website built and designing it for the sole purpose of securing my name to future patients and advertising my practice in the best way possible. "Better yet, if you don't mind, why don't we set up a business meeting? Lunch, perhaps? I could tell you exactly what I'm looking for and then I'll leave the rest up to you."

I reminded myself that this was only a business meeting, not a meeting to search the depths of endless deep brown eyes. At what point exactly did my curiosity transition into a genuine fascination of Bella Swan?

"Um, sure," she said somewhat uncertainly. I suddenly wondered if I had done the wrong thing by suggesting this in the first place. There was nothing I could do about it now. "When were you thinking?" she asked. Her tone was suddenly laced with excitement, causing my apprehension to lessen infinitesimally.

"How about the day after tomorrow, Friday? I'm working the midnight shift that evening so I'll have plenty of time for a late lunch meeting. Is 2pm convenient for you?"

She concluded that it was indeed convenient for her, and we decided on a place to discuss our future business arrangement. I felt much lighter once we hashed out the logistics of our professional partnership, my guilt for taking an interest in her was quickly sedated by the fact that I truly _did_ need a web-builder, and she was more than happy to offer her services.

I decided to end the phone call before any more guilt could assault my conscience. "I won't keep you, but I look forward to seeing you again."

"Yeah, you can meet the _real_ Bella Swan, not the doped-up stranger who was masquerading as me last night."

I chuckled and leaned forward in my chair. "That reminds me, I wanted to wish you a belated happy birthday. I'm sorry that it ended up with you in the ER, but I'm glad we met." A twinge of sympathy hit my abdomen at how unfortunate a birthday it had been for her.

"Me too. I mean, I'm glad you're taking me seriously after the way I acted."

I wanted to tell her that I sincerely enjoyed the way she acted, even though the circumstances were ill-fated. Instead I swallowed my words, already pushing my boundaries by letting it slip how pleased I was that we had met. I reminded myself that the statement could easily be taken as gladness for our future business relationship.

Even though the stirrings in my abdomen told me something entirely different.

I assured her once more that there was no harm done before restating that I would see her in a couple of days. Once my phone receiver was replaced firmly in its cradle, I stared at it in deep thought, my fingers running along the length of the phone as I pondered the conversation that just took place on it.

Lines hadn't been crossed, and nothing inappropriate had come from the innocent and beneficial follow-up call. And while I knew no complication would arise from discussing my future website with a past patient, I still couldn't deny the fact that for the first time in a very, very long time, I had been captivated by a woman…a woman who was essentially unattainable.

Would I easily be able to let go of my fascination with Bella Swan?

***

The following day was a rare time of reprieve.

It was a day off.

Days without work were few and far between for me. Either I would be called in or too uneasy about the state in which I was leaving my ER to take time away. But this day, I was taking.

I was almost disgustingly gluttonous on the days I resolved to have as my own. I didn't run, didn't shower, didn't change from my basketball shorts and t-shirt and surely didn't remove myself from the sofa.

I even had a mini refrigerator stock-piled with Guinness in order to remain entirely glued to my plush seat. I kicked back, slinging an arm over the back of the couch and watching intently as my beloved Marlins went head-to-head with the Mets. My phone was on silent, even though no one who knew me at all would call me at the bottom of the eighth with two outs.

I had frequently been referred to as the last Florida Marlins fan in existence, which was of course, preposterous. I had loved the Marlins since they were established in the early nineties. Even though the franchise had little to no success since their 2003 World Series win, I was quick to stay by them. You can't just abandon your team because they've been cursed with a rough streak.

I even blogged.

As the game ended with an unsurprising and equally angering loss, I grabbed my phone and flipped it open, knowing if my son hadn't already started dialing, it would only be a matter of seconds. I chuckled, seeing the screen light up with his name. "Calling to gloat?" I answered exasperatedly.

Edward scoffed. "I don't need to gloat, old man. That would insinuate that I didn't know for a fact that the Mets would dominate. You need to let go of the dream, Pop."

I finished the last sip of my bottle and threw it, cursing softly as I missed the recycling bin by mere inches. "I'll never give up on _The Fish_, kid. That two-run homer in the fifth nearly cinched the deal."

Edward chuckled incredulously. "You must be dipping into the good shit at the hospital. _The Fish _haven't cinched shit since '03 and you know it. Self-prescribing again, Carlisle? Really, I had no idea just how corrupt you truly were."

I rolled my eyes and reached blindly into the cooler at my side, twisting the cover off of my beverage. "You're too young to know a damn thing about the sport anyway. Your ignorance is endearing, in a pitiable sort of way."

I heard a car door slam, echoing in my ear as well in my driveway. "Whatever old man, say that to my face."

My door opened and I suddenly had a brown little dog in my lap, licking my face eagerly. "No licking, Taylor," I chastised, affectionately scratching behind the ears of the only girl my son bothered to keep in his life. I turned and smirked at him. "Come to challenge the Master of Baseball in person?"

Edward threw himself in the nearby La-Zy-Boy and huffed in irritation, grabbing a Guinness from the cooler between us. "Nah, fuck baseball. Nobody follows that shit anymore anyway."

My brow furrowed at my son, obviously irritated for some reason as he gnawed on his bottom lip. Usually he was lighthearted as ever, albeit a smartass…but an amiable smartass. "What's the matter, Edward?"

He shrugged and scoffed slightly, pulling the label violently off of his beer. "Nothing really, I don't know. Work has been shit…I'm sick of negligent assholes who think they have a right to own animals."

"Another neglect case?" I questioned sympathetically. I knew every animal that had to be euthanized at Edward's facility wore him down. He hated taking a life, no matter the misery he was saving the animal from. We had spent hours debating exactly that, the fact that we weren't always healers. Despite our best efforts, we couldn't save every living creature we dedicated ourselves to treating.

Edward nodded and fixed his eyes on the TV, slouching even further in his chair. "Yeah, whatever. Life goes on."

"I'd like to say it gets easier…"

Edward waved a hand at me and took a long sip from his ale. "It's cool, Carlisle, we don't need to dwell on it. So what's been going on at Mercy? Walk in on James with that butch nurse lately?"

I laughed loudly, the disgust written plainly on my face. "No, thank God. That's an image I'll never get out of my head."

Edward shook his head in disbelief. "I just don't get it, man. The girls he brings back to the Tower are fine as hell. He must have some kind of sick _Nurse Hatchett_ fantasies that he desperately needs fulfilling."

I cringed. "Yeah, something like that."

He burped and punched his chest. "He's a sick fuck, no joke."

I nodded, thinking back to some of the disturbing stories my son had shared with me about James, a fellow doctor who was employed at Mercy and also happened to share a conjoining wall with Edward. I had no doubt of the sinister things James was capable of, just from the occasional comments he had made to me about women in general. "Well, if it's any sort of consolation, he had hair plugs put in sometime last week, and it's glaringly obvious."

Edward sat up in his chair and chuckled, holding out his fist for me to bump. "Yeah, I saw him in the hallway the other day. Dude looks like someone took a sharpie to the top of his head and started poking holes with it."

I laughed and shook my head, because that was exactly what my pathetic co-worker looked like. A silence fell between Edward and I…it was quite obvious to me that there was more than just a neglect case that had a look of utter frustration spread across his features. "What else is wrong?"

He jumped slightly, running his hand through his hair just like I frequently had the tendency to do. "Huh?" he sounded startled as his eyes met mine. "Nah, nothing. Just kinda feel like I'm losing myself or some shit these past couple weeks. Maybe I need a vacation, maybe it's because I'm becoming a giant fucking pansy…"

Before I could question what he meant by that last remark, Edward quickly recovered. "Whatever, Pop. I'm not going emo on you, I swear. So what's up, any new ladies in your life? Did you move in on that hot new nurse…Emma, Eva, whatever her name is?"

I chuckled and shook my head. "It's Emily, and you know I don't pursue nurses, son. I'm past that…all they do is get attached and cause you a world of trouble. But if you'd like me to play matchmaker for you, I'd be more than happy."

Edward smiled crookedly but stared off into the distance. "Yeah…well I'm not looking for anything permanent. I don't do the whole 'exclusivity' bullshit, you know that."

I eyed him cautiously, because he definitely wasn't acting like himself. Something was very obviously going on with him, but I didn't pry any further…that wasn't my style. I knew eventually he would tell me, because we told each other nearly everything. I wasn't exactly thrilled that my son was taking on some of my old, less than honorable habits when it came to female companions, but there wasn't much I could do about it. Over time, I was confident that Edward would realize it was time to grow up and retire his bachelor status for the title of husband and father. I decided to change the subject and try to get the look of agonized confusion off of his face. "I'm having a website built for the practice," I offered, my mind immediately going back to Bella.

He nodded. "That's cool…yeah, that's coming up pretty quick isn't it?"

I nodded. "Not a moment too soon…the hospital is starting to get to me."

Edward stretched his back and finished his beer. "Well, we'll have to celebrate sometime soon. Go out on the town and stir shit up, Cullen-Masen style."

I smiled, my eyes glued to the floor. "Sounds great." It felt wrong to hide Bella and the effect she had on me from my son. Truthfully, and maybe even sadly, the stirrings of interest I had for her was something exciting in my life, and I hated not sharing that with Edward.

Even though I openly didn't have any plans of pursuing Bella, the mere humor of her visit and the charming characteristics she encompassed would have been something I'd eagerly tell him. Truth be told, I felt guilty for having an interest in a woman who was Edward's age. Mix that with the slightly scandalous way I had met her and I quickly decided that this situation was something I'd readily keep to myself.

Eventually Edward and I walked down to the sports bar located less than a mile from my home and grabbed a beer, catching up on the events of the week and discussing his best friend Jasper's budding romance. The night was spent with an unusually contemplative, somber Edward….and my secret thoughts of one brown-haired beauty who I'd be meeting with tomorrow...my anticipation was palpable.

***

I pulled into Portofino's at about 1:30, removing my sunglasses from my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose. I cursed at myself. I was far too mature and far too distinguished to be nervous about a professional lunch date. But my betraying hands were sweating, and my heart was rapidly palpitating as I cautiously scanned the parking lot.

I don't know what I was looking for. It wasn't as if I knew what she drove, and I certainly didn't expect her to be as early to arrive as I. But still, it didn't stop me from searching for her.

I slid my sunglasses back on and exited my black BMW, the car locking with an audible beep as I pressed the button on my keys. By the time I removed myself from the car and stopped pondering the possibilities of my future meeting with Bella, it was nearly 2pm.

I stood awkwardly in the foyer of the restaurant and struggled not to pace. Instead I pushed my hands in my pockets and began studying the generic art on the wall as if it were something beautiful to behold.

And suddenly, there was something _extremely_ beautiful to behold.

I turned automatically, almost sensing her arrival. Like a breath of fresh air she walked through the door, briefcase in hand. Her hair was pulled back into a loose, yet professional bun, her black pencil skirt and pink blouse accentuating every curve, as well as the blush of her cheek.

She was a vision.

I wiped my hands viciously against the inside of my pockets, trying to remove the excess moisture, and smiled crookedly at the woman in front of me. I held out my hand and she took it efficiently, exuding a strong handshake and a business-like stature that I was somewhat disappointed in seeing. "Dr. Cullen, it's great to see you again."

My smile never faltered as I rather reluctantly released her hand. "Call me Carlisle, please. It's great to see you again as well. Shall we?"

I gestured for her to walk in front of me as we approached the hostess podium, my fingers twitching in the urge to press against her lower back as she walked. Once we were seated, we got right down to it. Apart from a few pleasantries and my fight to not openly stare at the breathtaking woman in front of me, we kept it strictly business.

We discussed layout, sub-pages, photos, mouse-overs, as well as a "Chat with your Doctor" feature. This would allow me or my staff to chat online about symptoms with our patients. This was especially something I was interested in doing for the sake of the people we treated, taking into account the rising cost of health insurance and co-pay/deductible rates. It would cause a bit more of a challenge for Bella, considering there were certain standards this option would have to meet in order to be HIPAA-compliant, but she was more than happy to step up to the plate.

She immediately saw what I had envisioned for my website. A warm, friendly layout where my potential clients would feel welcomed and safe while providing the accurate information about my practice and the ethics I stood for. It was almost eerie how in sync we were on the basic designs and features that were essential to the arrangement of my website.

After we worked out the details and Bella felt she had enough information to get started, we ordered our main course…and that's when everything shifted.

***

"I believe this is the actual way it happened. Let's see," I paused dramatically, barely wiping the smile from my face long enough to tap my chin in mock contemplation. "Your friend asked you since when Benadryl had turned you into a raving nymphomaniac…"

My laughter was giddy as she covered her stunning, brightly flushed face. "Oh, God…no more," she groaned.

"Are you sure, Bella? I'm only getting to the best part!" My face ached with a most welcome pain. I had laughed more in the past three hours than in my entire life.

Bella lifted her head and wiped at her eyes, bouts of laughter still fighting to break through as she fought to calm herself. She smiled angelically at me and folded her arms across the table. "Fine, come on then, Doctor. I can take it."

A shudder went through my body as her dark brown eyes met mine, her face alight with the conversation we'd been buried in for the past two and a half hours. I never thought it would be like this…never thought that one simple business meeting could turn into one of the most delightful encounters I've ever had.

And I mean _ever_.

We smiled at each other a moment before my eyes dropped to my coffee cup. "No, I can't bear to torment my future website-builder anymore than I already have."

She pouted and smiled at me at the same time. "How chivalrous of you." She batted her eyelashes at me playfully.

"I'm nothing if not gallant, Ms. Swan," I murmured, sliding my finger around the edge of my cup.

Our eyes met once more as a momentary silence fell between us, the air suddenly feeling heavier than normal. "So you've told me the events that led you to Miami, but are you enjoying yourself now that you're here?"

Bella smiled radiantly and nodded her head. "Yeah, I mean, it's beautiful here. The energy of the city, the diversity, the excitement…it's a far cry from dreary Washington, that's for sure."

I chuckled. "I can imagine. I've been to Seattle once for a medical conference, and had never been happier to get back to the sunshine."

"Yes, Miami definitely has its way of making its good impressions…as well as the people who live here." She raised her glass of water towards mine and I reciprocated, my smile widening as the brush crept along her throat and into her cheeks. _Simply beautiful._

"Would it be boorish of me to say I'm glad your friend bought you a cross-contaminated birthday cake, Bella?" I smiled softly as we set our water glasses back on the table.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "You'll have to send her a thank you card. 'Dear Alice, thank you for potentially poisoning your best friend and roommate. Yours truly, Doctor Carlisle Cullen'."

I laughed heartily, but quickly covered my tracks. "I wouldn't have let anything happen to you, even if your reaction was more severe than it was."

"That's sweet."

I grinned at her sheepishly. "It's my job."

A flash of mortification spread across her face before she quickly recovered. "Right," she chuckled, rolling her eyes at herself before quickly glancing at her watch. "Wow, where has the time gone? Look how long I've kept you."

I leaned forward in my chair. "And here I thought I was keeping you."

She shook her head and smiled. "No, I cleared my day for this actually. I figured after our meeting I could get started on your site straight away…I'm really excited about it."

I hummed in response but didn't take my eyes away from her, since it was nearly impossible to do. Suddenly a loud thumping noise broke both of us away from our stare. We looked towards the window to see a man wearing a large sandwich board shaking his fist at a passing bicyclist.

Bella's eyes were wide as she looked back at me. "Parasailing? I didn't know you could do that on Biscayne Bay."

I turned to read the sign strapped to the man's back, advertising a local parasailing company. "Yep, you can parasail almost anywhere along the coast…have you ever been?"

She shook her head, her eyes still glued to the window as she reread the advertisement. "I haven't, is it fun?"

"It is, let's go."

The words were out of my mouth before I had time to process them, since clearly this woman had the power to completely debilitate my verbal filter.

She gaped at me a moment before laughing melodically. "You want to take me parasailing? Um…I mean…_when_?"

I smiled and reached for her hand across the table. "How about right now?"

She placed her hand in mine and pressed the other to her mouth, obviously processing my request. I had no time to contemplate whether or not I had done the right thing, since there was nothing I could do about it now. She chuckled once and shook her head incredulously. "I _do_ have a change of clothes in the backseat of my car…I was going to go for a run later."

"You run?"

She nodded. "I do."

I closed and opened my eyes slowly, a new intensity burning inside of mine as we connected. "So do I…so are we going?"

She smiled shyly at me and squeezed my hand before letting go. "You're wearing a tie."

"My gym bag is in the car, Bella," I chuckled. "What are you afraid of…what's holding you back?"

She mulled over my words a moment before lifting her chin in defiance. "Nothing is holding me back, you're right. I can be spontaneous…so let's go parasailing. I've had a really great time with you today, Carlisle, whether that's appropriate for me to say or not."

My brow furrowed as I leaned forward in my seat. "Bella, I don't see why we can't be friends just because you're building my website."

She nodded and smiled, rising from her seat. "I agree. So what are we waiting for…let's fly!"

She giggled and walked ahead of me with the bill in her hand, obviously intent on paying her half. I would begrudgingly let it go for now, but I'd be paying for her next time.

Because if I had it my way, there would _definitely_ be a next time.

***

It wasn't even two hours later before we were sitting in the back of a boat, getting strapped into the parasailing device and holding on tightly to the handles in preparation. I looked over to Bella, her smile radiant, the breeze blowing stray strands of hair around her face as she giggled in anticipation. "Are you ready?" I asked softly.

She looked up at me and smiled. "No regrets."

I gazed at her a moment longer and ran the back of my hand along her cheek. "No regrets."

And a handful of seconds later…we were flying.

I had been parasailing a few times before, but a view like that could never get old. The bright blue sky, large buildings, vast landscapes…it was breathtaking.

But not as breathtaking as Bella.

I quickly gave up the view for an even better one to the left of me. I took her excitement as my own, watching her wide eyes as she eagerly tried to observe everything at once. "Are you okay?" I chuckled, unable to hide my cheerfulness as we glided above the crystal blue water.

"I'm better than okay!" she yelled over the breeze, laughing almost maniacally as her eyes continued to scan the horizon. From the excitement in her eyes to the melody of her laughter, I was being treated to the free-spirited Bella that I had been longing to see since we last parted. I watched her as my heart beat rapidly, not from the heights we were reaching but from the pure wonder of being up here with her, experiencing this with _her_.

We reached different levels of height as we sailed on, our feet grazing the water at some points, at others being ejected amazingly high into the sky. I released the grip of the parasail, content that my harness would support me as I reveled in the beauty of the day, as well as the woman I was with.

My heart nearly stopped when I felt her small fingers intertwine with mine, her eyes fixed on mine as she gazed at me sincerely. "Thank you, Carlisle. This is amazing."

"As are you, Ms. Swan," I murmured softly, temporarily caught up in the quiet moment in the sky that held only Bella and I.

Slowly we began the descent back onto the boat, a small pout forming on Bella's face with each inch closer to the surface. "What's wrong, Bella?"

She gestured ahead of us and turned to look at me. "The sun is about to set," she spoke softly, clearly saddened that we wouldn't be in the sky as the sun departed.

I glanced down before looking back at her, the disappointment in her eyes causing my chest to constrict. I ran the back of my hand along her cheek and smiled warmly. "If you want the sunset, Bella, then it's yours."

She bit her lip and stared back at me, an indecipherable expression on her face as we both looked downward, preparing ourselves for the landing on the deck of the boat. Once we touched down, one of the men went to unhook Bella, but I stopped him. "How about one more time? The lady would like to be up there while the sun sets," I pointed above us.

He looked between us and smiled. "Another trip up?"

I nodded. "I'll pay, of course."

He chuckled and double checked our restraints. "All right, let's give the princess her sunset."

A sense of peace washed over me as we were lifted back up, and as we hovered above the boat, high in the sky and surrounded by the darkening light of the sun retreating behind the horizon, I took her hand.

Bella spent the next ten minutes watching the sun disappear in front of us…while I spent the next ten minutes watching nothing but the contented smile across her glorious face.

***

By the time I dropped Bella off at her car, it was nearly 10 p.m. and raining torrentially. We ran to her driver's side door hand in hand, laughing as the cool rain pelted our skin.

She unlocked the door quickly and climbed inside, starting her car and rolling down her window. "Do you want to get in for a minute?" she giggled.

My smile was beaming as I leaned my forearms above her window and rested my forehead against them. "No, I'm good right here."

"You're getting all wet," she smiled, staring up at me almost whimsically as the water ran off of me in waves.

"I don't care, I'm saying goodbye to you…I'll just get wet," I shrugged casually.

Bella took her bottom lip between her teeth in contemplation before rolling her window up. I backed off and my face fell, my ego bruised as I tried to figure out why she dismissed me so easily.

And then she climbed out of the car, shutting the door softly and leaning back against it. It was like a magnetic pull between us. One moment there were several feet of distance between us, the next, my hands were on either side of her head on the car as we gazed intently at each other.

"If you can get wet, then so can I," she breathed, the rain cocooning us in our own little world as the dark night enveloped us.

My fingers were gripping the edge of her car forcefully, my face inching closer to hers because there was simply no stopping it. "Bella…"

She shook her head as if to stop me, her eyes searching mine, almost looking for guidance. She hesitantly lifted one hand and slid her fingers through the soaking wet hair at the base of my neck, my eyes closing briefly.

"Can I tell you something, Carlisle?" her whisper somehow reached me through the pounding rain and in that moment, nothing existed but her.

I nodded and felt my lip quiver as her fingers tightened in my hair. "I've never been treated with so much care, so much respect, in literally my entire life. I can't believe this day turned out the way it did and yet, it was completely natural…as if there was never any doubt that we were going to go parasailing and laugh until we cried in the rain." She was quietly looking past me before our eyes reconnected. "Maybe I'm just crazy."

I took her hand in mine and brought her wet knuckles to my lips, resting them against her skin and reveling in her touch. "You aren't crazy," I murmured.

She leaned up from the car and took a step until our bodies were centimeters apart, her hand to my mouth and the other still buried in my hair. "Is this wrong?" she nearly begged me, asking the permission to give in to something we both were unsure of.

"It can't be," I shook my head, kissing her hand once more. "It can't be wrong."

A heavy breath escaped my lips in a whoosh…and then I was surrounded by her.

I groaned the moment her soft mouth was pressed against mine, moving against me slowly and carefully as we held each other in the rain. My fingertips made gentle circles along her cheeks as I worshipped her with my mouth, tasting her sweet skin and losing myself in the gentle frenzy she bestowed upon me.

I slid one hand into her hair, the other drawing a gentle trail along the side of her neck as our lips caressed in slow, passionate strokes. She moaned into my mouth as her body pressed tighter against mine, her sounds of desire fueling my longing for the gorgeous woman in front of me.

I stepped forward until she was pressed gently against her car, her hands leaving my hair and gripping my shirt in tight handfuls at my waist. The sound of rain and our heavy breathing surrounded us, removing us from the outside world and creating a haven where only we could exist.

I slowed my ministrations, placing gentle, sweet kisses across her mouth. I opened my eyes and met hers as I slowly slid my tongue across her bottom lip, gauging her reaction to me. It was nearly instantaneous that her tongue met mine in long, wet strokes.

I felt my body start to tremor, my hands sliding along her waist and behind her back, crushing her against my chest as our kiss deepened into slow and gentle caresses.

I don't know how long we kissed like that, exploring and losing ourselves the sounds we elicited from one another. We finally broke our kiss, foreheads pressed tightly together as we fought to catch our breath. I couldn't think properly. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but all I found myself wanting to do was kiss her again.

Our eyes met, my thumb running slowly along her bottom lip as she stared up at me with hooded eyes. "Was that okay?" I whispered, my hand gripping her hip tightly.

She laughed breathlessly and widened her eyes. "Um, yeah…very much so."

"Bella, I didn't know…it's not like this was my ulterior motive the entire time…"

She smiled and pressed her fingers to my lips. I couldn't stop myself from kissing them. "I know. It wasn't mine either, but now that it's happened…we could do it again?"

I chuckled at her and nodded, pressing my lips softly against hers. "As much as you'd like," I whispered, smiling brightly down at her as our noses rested gently together.

As soon as her small body started shivering in my arms, I frowned in concern. I opened the door behind her and pulled her against my chest, giving me room the open it fully. "Come on, you're getting cold," I murmured.

She climbed in and sat in her seat as I crouched in front of her, our fingers linked as we smiled at each other. There was no awkward moments, no fear of crossing the line. Only quiet contentment as we looked at each other with a new sense of familiarity.

"You need to go to work," she whispered in a nearly dejected tone.

"Do I?" I chuckled, temporarily lost in the high she had inflicted up on me.

She laughed and leaned forward, kissing me softly once more. "Yeah, I think so."

Her lips rested against mine as I closed my eyes and inhaled her breaths deeply, not wanting to leave her side. "Can I call you?"

"You can definitely call me," she smiled. I kissed her once more and backed away, meeting her warm brown eyes. I ran my fingertips along her cheeks, her lips, her neck, struggling to memorize her touch so I could keep it with me for the remainder of what was sure to be an extremely tedious evening.

"Okay," I smiled, standing and taking her hand, kissing each knuckle and looking down with a new intensity as she gazed at me beneath her lashes. I didn't want to go. "I'll call you tomorrow."

Her eyes opened and closed lazily as she grinned back at me. "Okay," she whispered.

I reluctantly let go of her hand and shut the car door, not moving from my spot until she had left the parking lot and was unfortunately out of my sight.

I walked to my car as if the ground below me was made of nothing but clouds, the scent of Bella filling every one of my senses. I chuckled giddily and climbed into my car, soaking wet and more euphoric than I ever thought I possibly be.

*

*

* * *

A/N

Brits: ***sighs and hands Kate the bowl of popcorn*** God, that man is dreamy...  
Kate: All I want for Christmas is my own Dr. McYummy ***sighs with Brits***  
Brits: snort Yeah, he can stuff my stocking....trim my tree...deck my halls with boughs of holly....hm, I've gone too far haven't I?  
Kate: Not at all, especially in light of what's coming up soon...those won't be sugarplums dancing in Bella's bed...I mean head

Brits: hehe well stop humping Dr. Fuck-Me-Now's leg and get to the BPOV already!!

Kate: DO YOU ALL SEE HOW SHE TREATS ME?!?!?! Flogging me for the sexy-times that she knows are coming...it's not Christmas YET Brits...

Brits: Fine ***rolls eyes at Kate*** So while we have to wait for Kate to get her perv on, we'd like to take a moment to say thank you for the kind words and amazing reviews we've received for our little ficcie. It means a lot to us.

Kate: Yes, for everyone who's thrown their inhibitions aside and vowed to follow us into the unknown...we do hereby promise that we will not let you down! In other words, no Team Carlisle vs. Team Edward beatdowns in the reviews, please

Brits: While we do appreciate the visual of Carlisle and Edward going head to head in a sweaty, naked, muscle-filled smackdown, we also truly love the personalities we've given these characters. We just ask that you keep an open mind and give both Edward and Carlisle a chance in this story. We sure do appreciate it!

Kate: And to show you how MUCH we appreciate it...leaving a review will convince Santa-Kate and Santa-Brits to move Christmas up this year and leave you something extra-pervalicious under the tree in the next chap!

Brits: You heard the woman....review! And come play with us on the DLS thread. We'll answer any questions you may have (Besides the dreaded 'Who will Bella end up with?' inquiry) and we'll maybe even give you a teaser or two. Stop on down. Linkage: www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=8305

Thanks for reading!


	5. Letting Go

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

BPOV

The rain was still a torrential downpour when I pulled up into the driveway and turned off the car. I leaned my head back against the headrest and shut my eyes, gripping the steering wheel for a moment longer.

What the hell just happened?

Kissing Carlisle…kissing Carlisle in the rain…his lips soft but wet and determined on mine, his hands moving easily over my skin.  
_  
And you liked it!_

Hell yes I'd liked it. The man was sexy as hell just to look at, and kissing him in the pouring rain had been like something straight out of a Hollywood romance. I didn't know if it was the genuine friendly chemistry we'd found over lunch or the endorphins from parasailing, but from the moment our eyes had locked in that parking lot there had been no going back.

_But l__et's not forget the fact that he's your client, Bella._

I groaned and banged my head against the headrest. Getting involved with a client was _not _something I'd ever even imagined myself doing. I worked my ass off to be taken seriously, to establish my good name, and making out with the clients was _not _part of my business plan.

What had happened between us had been so spontaneous, so _right _in that moment, though. Part of me couldn't help but wonder…

_No, Bella, no no no. You've been single a month, you don't need to jump right back into a relationship again. Especially with a client…even if he is drop-dead sexy and one hell of a kisser…_

I growled as my body battled with my brain. There was no doubt that part of me wanted to see more of Dr. Carlisle Cullen…much more. But then there was part of me that kept remembering we had a professional relationship that he was paying me for, that I was someone he should be able to depend on to help make his business successful. I would have to be blind not to have seen the heat that had flared in his eyes, though, when he'd pushed me against my car and let the hot drag of his lips over mine say more than words ever could. I shivered at the memory and shut my eyes for a moment, reliving the feel of his tongue teasing mine, his fingers insistently tight in my hair.

Fuck. Me.

I got out of my new-to-me Toyota and slammed the door, frustration in every step as I stomped up the walkway to the front door, hurrying with my key as the downpour soaked me to the skin again. All the lights were on but my sodden hair was hanging in my eyes, so I stood there blinking before I saw movement in the living room. And then in the next second Jasper was shooting up off the couch, propelled like a rocket, his blond curls a mess, his clothes in disarray, and his glasses crooked across his face.

"_Bella_! I um…we didn't know…"

His face was tomato-red and I immediately felt sorry for the poor guy. "Hi Jasper."

"Hi Bella!" Alice chirped unconcernedly from the couch, ignoring Jasper's self-conscious shuffling next to her. "Good business meeting?"

"Yeah, it went well."

"You look like a drowned rat." Her gaze was appraising, and I suddenly realized that I was clad in a drenched white t-shirt with my black bra in plain contrast underneath. No wonder Jasper was staring painfully at the ceiling.

"Yeah I…got caught by the weather. I'm just gonna go shower now, continue on with…whatever it was that you were doing." Alice giggled and Jasper turned an impossibly-darker shade of red as I squished down the hall to my room.

I grumbled out an impressive amount of profanity as I ripped my soaking clothes off and then climbed into a hot shower, refusing to let my brain go to places it so desperately wanted to visit as the hot spray stung my skin. This was an itch I would need to get over sooner rather than later…

_Or at least until the job is over_…

Okay, this was getting ridiculous. He was my _client_, and that should have been the end of the story. The fact that we'd had enough sparks to set a forest fire and that I was absolutely aching for more of his touch were things I ought to be able to ignore. I was a grown woman, not some horny teenager. Or at least that was what I kept telling myself as I tossed and turned in bed before finally falling into a restless sleep.

***

Carlisle called me the next day, ostensibly to make sure I'd gotten home all right, and I'd been as detached and professional with him as I could be without coming across as a total bitch. I asked him a few more questions that had popped into my brain about his website, and after a brief moment he'd answered them, equally as business-like as I was trying to be.

What was I supposed to say? Hey, thanks for kissing me senseless the other night, but I still expect you to pay me in American dollars for this service? Or how about: I'd love to bang you through your headboard, but that might make it awkward if you take one look at this website and decide you hate it?

Awkward indeed. This was why dating clients was _never_ a good idea.

I threw myself into the building of his site as a distraction, working on it in every spare moment I had away from my other work obligations. At my request he forwarded a brief biography and a photo via e-mail, and I added those to the site, lingering longer than I needed to over both.

I knew from his frequent e-mails that he'd finished his stint at Mercy Hospital, and that now he was working almost around-the-clock to hire nurses and office staff, to arrange a schedule for externs and a reasonable set of office hours for him as well. He e-mailed me at all hours of the day and night, apologizing for his delay in replying to my queries even if it was just a few hours later, answering my questions in great detail and always inviting me to call him if I had any questions.

Reading over the brief mission statement and bio he'd sent me, I couldn't deny that I was impressed. He'd decided to strike out on his own to provide reliable affordable healthcare in a country where such a thing was becoming more of a luxury than a given. He accepted a wide range of insurance plans, but was willing to work with uninsured patients on a sliding-scale basis. Even the Chat With Your Doc feature that he was so passionate about, despite it giving me a major headache over the endless HIPAA regulations I had to wrangle, spoke of his dedication to helping and healing. For absolutely no charge at all and one click of a mouse, his registered patients could check in with him or a member of his staff about minor ailments and questions. There was no doubt in my mind that Carlisle Cullen was genuinely a good guy.

And of course that made me feel guilty. He was probably wondering if I had multiple personality disorder or something, considering how differently I was acting now. I couldn't help it though…keeping him at a safe business-like distance was the only way I'd keep from jumping him again.

Halfway through the week I received a phone call from Renee, cajoling me into coming up to Jacksonville for four days at the end of the next week. It was her birthday and I did genuinely miss her, so I promised to drive up and spend a long weekend there. She changed the subject as I was entering the dates into my Outlook calendar.

"So what else are you up to, sweetie? Met any cute guys?"

"I've been on a couple of dates," I replied carefully. The truth was that aside from my evenings with Edward and then Carlisle, I'd been too busy with work to go out and meet any new men. That had been one nice thing about being in a relationship: the lack of urgency to get out and socialize. Of course that had possibly also led to the demise of my five-year relationship with Jackass, so maybe it wasn't such a nice thing after all.

"Just a couple? Come on hon, you're in Miami! You need to get out and live a little while you're young!"

I huffed and put my feet up on my desk. "I've got a couple of really big projects that are almost done; I'll have more chances to go out then."

"We can definitely go out while you're here, there aren't quite as many hot guys as compared to Miami, but there are a few places…"

"Mom, eww." Scoping out guys with Renee was _not_ on the top of my to-do list. "Don't you think Phil might have a problem with that?"

"I'm just talking about looking and not touching, silly. For me anyway. For you…"

My phone beeped in my ear. "Okay, fine, just stop talking about it. Listen, I really have to go, I have another call coming in and it might be for work."

"Okay honey, I'll talk to you soon and I can't wait to see you! Love you!"

"Love you too, bye," I replied, before quickly clicking over to the incoming call. "Bella Swan."

"Hi Bella, it's Carlisle Cullen." There was just the tiniest hesitation before he said his last name, as though he weren't sure I'd know exactly which Carlisle was calling. I sat up quickly, setting my feet back on the floor.

"Hi Carlisle, how are you?"

"I'm doing well, just busy as usual. I'm sorry if I'm bothering you…"

"You're not bothering me at all. What can I help you with?" My mind immediately went to all the things I'd like to help him with, and then I felt guilty. It was like an automatic reaction when I thought of him now: dirty thoughts, and then guilt.

"I just had a couple of questions if you have a minute?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay, I'm trying to set up my new work e-mail and I keep getting an error message…" He went on to explain the problem, and luckily I was able to resolve it for him on my end.

"Thanks Bella, I was getting a little panicky considering the business cards are already printed up with that e-mail address on them." He laughed softly.

"Nope, no worries, it was a glitch I should have caught earlier, totally my fault. I'm sorry about that."

"No need to apologize. Second question is actually more of an invitation: do you think you'll be able to attend the grand opening party? I was really hoping you'll to be able to come."

I smiled a little. "Absolutely, I'd love to."

"Great!" He sounded relieved. "You'll be able to meet my staff, of course, and my parents and my son will be there as well. I'd love to brag about your technical skills to all of them."

Huh, a son? I didn't remember that coming up in our long conversation on Friday. I knew he wasn't married, though, so maybe his son lived with his mom? I wasn't exactly sure of Carlisle's age, but I'd put him around thirty-five or thirty-six…which would probably make his son a teenager.

"Well, I don't know how much bragging you should really do, but I'd love to come. When is it, so I can put it in my calendar right now?"

"Next week, the last Friday of this month, at seven o'clock."

I clicked on my Outlook calendar and scrolled down only to be met with a blue vacation bar across the date in question. "Oh shit, I mean, sorry. I'm actually going to be out of town from that Thursday through Sunday. I literally just got off the phone with my mom and she asked me to come spend a long weekend up in Jacksonville for her birthday. I'm really sorry." Internally I cursed again, the idea of having another excuse to see Carlisle had been more tempting than I wanted to admit.

"Oh…I'm sorry to hear that." His voice was definitely disappointed, and then he was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "Well, in that case, would you allow me to take you out to dinner? To celebrate the website launch? It's the least I can do to thank you for getting it up and running so quickly."

"You don't have to buy me dinner for that," I replied, even as my brain was screaming at me to accept. "That's what you paid me for."

"I know, but…" There was another silence. "Bella…I…I'm not sure about this, but do I owe you an apology? I hope last Friday didn't make you feel uncomfortable working with me now, but if it did…"

"No!" I blurted out, embarrassed. "No, not at all."

"I'd hoped to see you again, but if you think we just got carried away and made a mistake, I understand. I'll back off if you want me to."

"No, Carlisle, it's not that…" I stopped for a moment and took a deep breath, squeezing my eyes shut. "I owe _you_ an apology. I really enjoyed myself on Friday and I had a wonderful time with you. I really would like to see you again. It's just that you're technically a client of mine right now, and I felt that I'd really overstepped our professional relationship. I'm sorry if I made you think that I regretted anything we did."

"That wasn't your fault," he disagreed quickly. "I guess I didn't think of it from that point of view, but I can see where that would put you in an awkward situation."

_Awkward doesn't even begin to explain this conversation_. "I really did have a wonderful time, Carlisle. I just wasn't thinking at the time about our working relationship."

"Neither was I," he chuckled. "But on the bright side, I won't be a client too much longer."

I grinned in spite of myself. "Well, yes you technically _will_ be, since you'll need me to make updates and do any troubleshooting for the site."

"But it's not like it would be an _active_ professional relationship, like it is at the moment, right?" I grinned wider, he sounded like a little boy trying to find any tiny loophole to slip through.

"I guess that's all in how you define _active_."

"Well, if I ask you out to dinner again and we set the date for _after_ the website launch, would you be able to say yes?"

I couldn't help it, I started laughing. "I would say yes, definitely."

"Good!" He sounded very satisfied with himself. "I can't tell you how happy it makes me to hear your laugh again. You've sounded so serious every time I've talked to you since then."

"That's my Business-Bella voice," I teased.

"I like your voice now better." His own tone became a little huskier and I felt a slight quiver in my midsection. "So when can we get the site up and running? I want to know when I can look forward to being a no-longer-active client."

"Umm, I was actually going to ask you the same thing. There are just a couple of things left for me to do, then I can go through the entire model with you, and then we can publish it to the web."

"So today is Wednesday, do you think you could have it done by this Friday?"

"Sure."

"In that case, why don't you bring your laptop over here, to my place, and I'll make us dinner instead. We can go over everything and then have dinner and drinks to celebrate, what do you think?"

Hmm, dinner and drinks at Carlisle's house…definitely a much more intimate setting than a restaurant would be. I should say no, I really should say no. But of course I wouldn't. "That depends, how good of a cook are you?"

"I'll have you know I'm actually an excellent cook," he said in a mock-hurt tone. "I'll even remember to triple-check everything for peanut products. We don't want a repeat of your birthday…well, at least not the life-threatening part."

I felt my face burn as I remembered all the things I'd supposedly said in my Benadryl-induced haze. "You're not going to keep reminding me of that, are you?"

"It depends. Shall we say seven-thirty? I'll e-mail you directions."

"That sounds perfect, actually. Can I bring anything?"

"Just your lovely self." I squirmed in pleasure at his words, the quivering in my midsection becoming more insistent. "Bella…I can't wait to see you again. Talk to you soon?"

"You bet. Bye."

It took a long time after that before I was able to concentrate fully on work again, and when the doorbell rang two hours later, I seized upon the distraction gladly. It was a deliveryman with a gigantic bouquet of roses that immediately filled the living room with their heavy rich scent. At first I assumed they were for Alice from Jasper, although he usually brought her daisies…and the card very clearly said "Bella" on the envelope.

Fingers trembling and a half-smile on my face, I opened the tiny envelope and read the neat script on the card inside: _Here's to the dissolution of a beautiful working relationship. –C_

***

Thursday dragged by until I headed to Miami Beach to meet Alice after work for drinks. We hadn't spent as much time together lately and I missed our girl talk…or at least I had until she started grilling me about my quasi-date the next night.

"The _doctor_?" she squeaked indignantly. "And what the hell is a _quasi_-date, Bella? Either it is one or it isn't."

"It's like my business lunch last week with him. We're going to get some work done and he wanted to show his appreciation for me getting the site done so quickly." I toyed with the stem of my martini glass, not meeting her glare.

"Uh-huh, your _business_ lunch. Which apparently was much more than you told me…which was next to nothing." Alice could pin me to my chair with her scowl when she wanted to.

"There was nothing to tell…"

"Bullshit. You come home all frazzled last Friday, he sent you roses yesterday, and now you're going to his _house_ tomorrow for dinner?"

"How did you know about the roses?" I asked, dodging her inquiry. I'd hidden them in my room before she'd arrived home.

"Are you kidding? The whole house smells like them. I saw them when I went looking for what I thought was an exploded bottle of perfume. Spill it, Swan."

I heaved a sigh. "We went parasailing last Friday after lunch."

She stared at me silently.

"And then we uh, kinda made out in the rain."

I knew it!" she squealed. "You were glowing when you got home. Tell me everything!"

"I don't know how it happened…we had a great time, and it was pouring rain by the time he drove me back to my car. He got out and walked me over to my door and it just kinda…happened." I bit my lip as I felt a blush creeping over my cheeks.

"Details, please! Was he a good kisser?"

"Oh yeah. It was crazy chemistry…like one of those moments where you both know it's going to happen, and you can't break eye contact, and then…wow!"

"So you've been talking to him since then?"

"Well yeah, but just for business."

Alice scrunched up her nose at me. "Business-Bella, practical to the end."

I shrugged and took another sip of my martini. "I didn't want things to get weird and complicated. Now that I'm pretty much done with most of the work, I don't have to worry about that."

"Should I not expect you home tomorrow night, then?" She grinned lasciviously.

"Jesus, Alice, slow down. I'll be home tomorrow, probably late."

"Uh-huh." She didn't look convinced. "Just know I'll be expecting details."

"You always do."

We spent the rest of the evening chatting lazily, catching up on all the little things we'd neglected for the past few days. After dinner I drove home and Alice went over to Jasper's for a while.

The next morning I drove to a nearby park, having seen on the news that it was a great new spot for joggers in the area. Getting back into running again was proving harder than I'd anticipated when the Miami humidity sucked my will to live just by walking around in it. I was wearing a sports bra and tight shorts, my hair tied up into a ponytail, but even so I barely managed twenty minutes of running before I had to stop, wheezing and wishing I could jump into a nearby fountain to cool off.

I moved off to the side so I'd be out of the way of the other joggers and took a few deep breaths, bent over with my hands on my knees. The throbbing in my head had just eased slightly when a pair of feet clad in expensive running shoes stopped right in front of me. I looked up and…

Oh. Fuck.

It was Edward.

He was shirtless, his hair was drenched, and his rock-hard chest was shining with sweat…he looked oh-so-good and oh-so-bad all at once. "Funny," he drawled, an amused grin on his face, "I would have thought you were really good at running in the morning."

I just gaped at him for a minute before my brain spit out a reply. "I guess not."

He shrugged, still grinning. "I suppose that's just when you're sneaking out, huh?" I glared at him but he paid no attention, looking down at a dog I just now noticed stood close by his side. "Taylor, down." The dog immediately lay down in the grass, panting.

"Cute dog."

"She's my baby. You didn't get a chance to meet her before."

I ignored that jab too. "Can I pet her?"

"Sure."

Taylor sat back up as I extended a hand for her to sniff, and then gently patted her head. She had a doggy smile on her face and her tail thumped against the grass as I scratched behind her ears, trying to think of what to say to her sex-god of an owner.

"Fancy running into you here." It was stupid, but anything was better than the silence as he smirked at me.

"Yeah, I've wanted to run here ever since I heard about it on the news."

"Me too." I took a deep breath and then scowled as I saw the amusement dancing in his bright green eyes. "Are you trying to make this more awkward than it already is?"

He ran a hand through his sweat-soaked hair. "Nah, you're doing a pretty good job of that on your own."

I laughed self-consciously, but his playful demeanor made some of my embarrassment melt away. "How have you been?"

"Good, just busy as always. It sounds like you're seeing more of Jasper than I am these days, huh?"

That was probably the understatement of the year. "Yeah, he and Alice kinda pole-vaulted over the whole 'dating' thing and went straight for 'attached at the hip.' I think he's over at our place more often then he is at home."

"I've never seen Jasper so crazy about a girl before. I'm glad it's working out for them, he needed a relationship with an actual woman." He seemed completely sincere.

"What did he have before?" I asked curiously, hoping he wasn't going to say Jasper had a collection of blow-up dolls or something.

"Not much," he said bluntly. "He was so shy around women, he only went for those who spoke his techno-language or were as shy as he is. I'm still amazed he managed to land a hottie like your friend."

I played with the end of my ponytail and laughed a little, remembering how I'd interrupted _something_ on the couch the previous Friday. Alice and her exuberance were definitely winning out over Jasper's shyness. "They're a case study in opposites attracting, that's for sure."

"Definitely." He ran his hand through his hair again and I couldn't help but notice the smooth ripple of sweat-slick muscles in his torso at the movement. Of course, I'd already had a much more personal exploration of his muscles and what he could do with them, and at the thought my eyes lingered a little longer than they should have. And fuck my luck, he caught me.

"Sizing up the goods again?" I seriously doubted it was possible for a man to look smugger than Edward did at that moment.

"Ugh, why are you such an asshole?" I turned on my heel to walk away from him, face flaming, but he followed as I headed back towards the parking lot.

"Hey, you're the one who snuck out on me; I'm entitled to make you squirm a little."

"I didn't…sneak out. I just didn't see the point of waking you from what looked like a very sound sleep to tell you that I had to go."

"Because there was somewhere _that_ important you had to be on a Saturday morning?" I stopped and turned to look at him then; the smirk had vanished and he appeared genuinely interested in what I was going to say.

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye…"

"Or a note," he interrupted.

"…But I figured we'd both got what we wanted, I was awake, I decided to go."

He reached out to touch my bare arm in what I was quickly deducing was a patented Edward Masen seduction move. "I missed you when I woke up. You were fucking amazing, Bella."

"Um, thanks," I replied, glancing nervously at the people walking and jogging by us. "You were…amazing too."

A wide grin flashed across his face. "Hey, it's a standing offer if you're interested."

_What, is that like a platinum membership or something?_ "Oh my God, are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

I closed my eyes for a moment, the desire to smack that cocky grin off his face battling with the memory of how incredible our night together actually had been. Now that he was standing in front of me, I realized my memories of his appearance hadn't done him justice, and I was sure the same would go for his bedroom prowess. That was probably exactly what he was counting on, though.

"How about a _date_ first, you pompous jerk?"

He blinked, the grin completely fading from his face. "Damn, I forgot what a ball-buster you are."

"Why? Because you're offering up sex like you're doing me a favor and I have the temerity to say I'd like an actual date this time? You've got a lot of nerve, Masen." I turned and began to walk away from him again, but he trotted along after me with Taylor patiently following along.

"Come on, Bella, I'm just playing with you. I had a great time that night even before we went back to my place."

"Gee whiz, thanks Edward." I kept walking.

"Okay, fine, you want to go out on a date? What are you doing tonight?"

"I'm busy." I couldn't have expressed in words how much satisfaction it gave me to say that.

"Doing what?"

"I have a date with a guy who has more class than to assume I'd be free to drop everything and go out with him the same evening."

"A date…hey, wait a minute Bella, hold up!"

I kept walking, a small grin of my own tugging at the corners of my mouth. "What, did you really think I'd just sit around waiting for you, Edward? You could have gotten my number and called."

"Jasper is a cockblocking asshole," he grumbled.

Okay, no way was I going to let him blame weeks of silence on Jasper. "You're telling me that you _did_ ask him for my number and he wouldn't give it to you?"

"Well…no."

"Right." I rolled my eyes and picked up the pace a little, but he stayed right at my elbow.

"Well, what are you doing next week? What day would be good for you?"

We'd arrived back at the parking lot and I took my car key out of the little pouch that strapped around my wrist. "I'm going out of town Thursday and I won't be back until Sunday evening."

"How about Tuesday, then? Would you like to go out with me Tuesday?"

I twirled my key ring around my finger, feeling a pang of guilt that I was arranging a date with Edward when I was seeing Carlisle that night. It wasn't as though we were in a relationship or anything like that, though, and _technically_ I'd known Edward longer than Carlisle. Plus there was no way Edward was angling for anything more serious than a date and probably another night of sex.

Little did he know, I had no intention of making it as easy for him the next time around.

"Tuesday works for me," I said finally.

"Great, how about I come pick you up around seven-thirty? I'll get your address from Jasper."

"We could make it a double-date with him and Alice."

Edward cocked his head to the side and turned the full force of his green eyes on me. I'd almost forgotten how intense his stare was when he poured on the charm. "I really think I'd like you all to myself that night, Bella."

God, was this what happened to guys who had women falling into their laps all the time? Did their heads expand so much that they forget how to just be _normal_?

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Quit trying so hard."

His jaw dropped. "What?"

"You heard me. You asked me out, I said yes, you can stop trying to dazzle me now."

He muttered something under his breath and all I caught of it was the word _ball-buster_.

***

Despite Carlisle's assurances that I didn't need to bring anything that evening, I stopped by the grocery on the way home from the park and picked out a couple of bottles of wine to bring along. I'd be a complete liar if I said I wasn't looking forward to the evening; Carlisle was a genuinely fun interesting person, and I was looking forward to getting to know him better.

_Oh, who are you kidding? You're hoping to get to know his _lips_ better._

Okay, that too.

I puttered around the house after finishing up all my work for the day and then tackled my closet. I needed something cute, not too formal, but professional enough that he could take me seriously as I introduced him to his website for the first time. I finally settled on a simple white cotton sundress that hugged my curves up top and fluttered around my legs below. Paired with a little sweater it was the perfect balance of business casual and dinner-and-drinks chic.

I hopped into the shower and then spent a little more time than normal on my hair and makeup, before Alice came home to give me a once-over and then a thumbs-up.

"You look fabulous! The doctor's not going to know what hit him!"

"Business first, Alice," I reminded her, and she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, get the stick out of your butt and don't forget to have a little fun too."

I sat down on the bed and started transferring the items from my purse to a cute little clutch. "Speaking of having fun...you'll never guess who I ran into this morning when I tried to go for a run."

"Who?"

"Edward Masen!"

Alice's eyebrows shot up. "Are you kidding? Where did you see him? Was it weird?"

"He was running in the park too. And yeah, it was kinda weird at first but then it wasn't such a big deal. He propositioned me again."

"Oh my God, no he did not!"

I laughed. "Yeah, something about a night of passion being an 'open invitation.' I told him I'd rather have an actual date first, so we're going out on Tuesday."

"Ugh, if I didn't love you so much, I'd hate you. Two hot dates in one week, you are one lucky bitch!"

"I think Edward was only trying to save face…I told him I had a date tonight, and that was when he got _really_ interested."

"Really?" Alice had a mischievous look on her face. "I should tell Jasper about your date with the hot doctor tonight and have him 'accidentally' mention a few details to Edward. That'll probably drive him nuts before Tuesday."

I frowned a little. For some reason, the idea of Edward knowing any details about my date with Carlisle rubbed me the wrong way. It certainly was none of his business at this point, and I didn't want to spend Tuesday evening answering his questions or defending myself. "Alice…have you told Jasper anything about Carlisle?"

"No, it's just never come up. Do you not want me to?"

I shook my head slowly. "No, I'd really rather you didn't. My personal life is none of Edward's business and I don't really like the idea of him knowing about any other guys I might be dating. And it kinda puts Jasper in a weird spot too, since Edward's his best friend."

"I didn't think of it that way," Alice replied immediately. "You're right. My lips are sealed. So what else did you guys talk about?"

"Not much…he's got a really cute dog. Oh, and he was sweaty and shirtless and looking damn fine."

Alice cocked her head to the side and lifted her eyebrows playfully. "How weird that you just happened to run into each other like that. Maybe he was stalking you!"

I snorted inelegantly. "I seriously doubt that, he could have hit Jasper up for my phone number anytime."

She hummed in agreement. "So where does Carlisle live?"

"The Upper Eastside, I wrote down his address for you and stuck it on the fridge."

"Well listen, they're calling for thunderstorms tonight, so be careful driving home, okay? The storms here are a lot wilder than they are in Seattle."

"Will do. Now..." I spun around for her. "How do I look?"

"Fuckhawt," Alice said immediately. "You'd better get going in case traffic is bad, you don't want to keep your doctor waiting!"

I scooped up my clutch and then settled my laptop bag over my shoulder, gave Alice a quick hug, and was on my way. As much as I missed my faithful old truck, I had to admit that driving a car with functioning air conditioning was an absolute necessity in Miami. I cranked up the stereo and sang along with a few songs, trying to boost my confidence and squelch the tiny butterflies that were fluttering around in my stomach. My mind kept going back to the kisses we'd shared in the rain, the way his hands had felt against my skin. Carlisle kissed like a man who knew he had the whole night ahead of him.

Traffic wasn't as horrible as I'd anticipated, and I pulled up to Carlisle's house shortly before seven-thirty. It was in one of Miami's older neighborhoods and, by the looks of his house and those around it, one of the wealthier ones too. I parked next to Carlisle's black BMW and took a deep breath.

_It's just Carlisle. Relax_.

He answered the doorbell almost immediately, and my knees went weak. His blond hair was damp and tousled, he wore a crisp white button-down and tailored khakis, and his face lit up into a smile immediately when he saw me. He was so sexy it was absolutely ridiculous.

"Bella, I'm so glad to see you!" He stepped back and held the door wider for me to enter.

"I'm glad to see you too. I, um, come bearing wine and a website."

He laughed and reached out to take the bag with the wine in it. "I told you that you didn't have to bring anything except for your lovely self, but thank you."

"I wasn't really sure what to bring, so I got a red and a white, and I've really been into South American wines lately…" I babbled. _Shut up, Bella, just shut up!_

"I was planning on making Italian for us tonight, so that sounds perfect. You can set up your laptop in the kitchen, if you like." I followed him down the hallway to a gorgeous kitchen that would make a professional chef feel right at home.

"Wow…this is beautiful."

"I renovated the kitchen shortly after I moved in…it was tiny and dark and not very welcoming." He set the bottle of red wine on the marble countertop and then slipped the pinot grigio into a wine cooler set under the kitchen island. "I actually do enjoy cooking, but it's not as much fun when you're only cooking for one."

"I'm jealous…if I had a kitchen like this I'd come up with excuses to cook all the time." I looked around at the expensive appliances, wondering how much the renovation had cost him.

He smiled. "Well then you'll have to come over again and give me a reason to show off for you some more."

"Let me see what I think of your cooking tonight first before I commit to any more dinners," I teased. "If it's good then I'll be a very willing guinea pig. I do all the cooking for us since Alice burns anything she touches, so it's nice to have someone cooking for me."

"It's my pleasure to do it." He patted the marble countertop. "Why don't you set up your laptop here and we can get business out of the way first."

He pulled two barstools over to the island and for the next hour, I walked him through his new website. He listened intently and asked a few questions, but for the most part he simply paid attention as I showed him the different pages and demonstrated how visitors could navigate through it.

"This is perfect, Bella," he said finally. "I absolutely love it; you really captured the exact look and feel that I wanted. It's warm and welcoming but still professional and will inspire confidence in potential patients. You did an amazing job."

"If there's nothing you want changed, I'll publish it as soon as I get home. It'll take a few days before it starts showing up on the big search engines, but I'll send you a weekly stats report so you can see where your traffic is coming from. That'll help a lot if you're doing any targeted advertising."

Carlisle chuckled. "You're an angel. It was fate that landed you in my ER, I'm convinced of it now."

I blushed and closed my laptop, standing up to reach for my bag. "No, it was Alice and her Cake o' Death. Bella verses the peanuts."

"I won't say I'm glad that happened to you, because I'm never happy to see anyone _need_ to come to the hospital." He took a step closer and reached out to gently touch my cheek. "But I'm so happy that I met you."

My heart started pounding as his fingers spread so that he was cupping my face in his hand. "Carlisle…"

"I'm no longer an 'active' client, remember?" he said softly. "And I've been thinking about this since I talked to you on Wednesday."

The only response I could muster was a whimper as he leaned closer and his lips touched mine. It was everything I remembered from Friday, but better, and I automatically put my arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss, his tongue running along my lower lip before slipping inside to tease my mouth. He tasted and smelled so good, and the sparks crackling between us intensified as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close against his body. I moaned involuntarily as his hand trailed down my throat. "So sweet, Bella, you taste so sweet," he whispered, breaking away for the briefest of moments before recapturing my lips with his.

Arousal flashed through me when his lips left mine and traveled across my cheek to my jaw, then to my earlobe which he captured and nipped gently. Oh God, if I didn't stop this now I'd end up begging him to take me right there on his expensive marble countertop. "Carlisle…" I tried again, trying desperately to force words out through the pleasurable haze that enveloped us both.

"Bella?" he whispered back, his voice warm and soft in my ear.

"I thought you were…making me dinner?"

He pulled back, his beautiful blue eyes studying me intently. "I fully intend to make you dinner, I promise. Am I moving too fast?"

"No, um, I…" I gulped. "That was fine."

A smile flitted across his face. "Just fine?"

I sucked in a deep breath. "Better than fine. Amazing."

"For me too," he said quietly, and then picked up my hand where it rested lightly on his chest. Without breaking eye contact, he gently placed a kiss on each of my knuckles, and I couldn't restrain the shiver that went through me again. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

I bit my lip. "Sure."

He looked thoughtful for a long moment. "Something you said last Friday has been bothering me, and I wanted to ask you about it."

"Okay." My brain wasn't firing on all cylinders at the moment, but I couldn't remember having said anything overly upsetting.

"Before you kissed me that night, you said that you had never been treated with more care or respect in your entire life. And knowing that a woman as beautiful and smart and funny as you felt that way…" He shook his head. "It's been bothering me a _lot_."

I stiffened slowly, vaguely remembering having said something along those lines, but I hadn't realized how it would sound to him. "I…uh…"

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," he said quickly.

"No…it's okay." I took another deep breath. "It's just…I just got out of a long relationship…it's the reason why I moved here. My boyfriend of five years basically came home and told me that he'd met someone else. We'd been together since I was in college and I guess I'm still kinda getting over being _that_ unwanted."

His jaw tightened. "Did he hurt you?"

"No! I mean, aside from cheating on me and unceremoniously dumping me, but he wasn't abusive or anything."

Carlisle was stroking my knuckles with his thumb, almost an unconscious gesture. "But he didn't treat you with care or respect?"

I flushed. "Not like you did, no. I mean, he wouldn't have picked up on the fact that I wanted to be up in the air for the sunset, and he would have been really pissy about the rain. Just little things…we didn't know each other as well as we should have for being together for five years."

"What about your parents?"

I licked my lips nervously. "They love me, but they're both kinda wrapped up in their own lives. They always have been."

The intensity of his stare was almost overwhelming. "Don't you have anyone who cares about you, who treats you the way you deserve to be treated?"

I choked out a breathy little laugh. "Just Alice, I guess."

"That's not what I meant," he replied quietly, and what he left unsaid began ricocheting through my mind. _He wants to be that person, he wants to…_

"Bella," he started, and I took a small step back.

"Carlisle…I don't want you to think…I mean, I like you. I really like you a _lot_. But if you're thinking what I think you're thinking…" I stumbled over my words, "I don't know if I can be that for anyone, not yet."

A sad look flickered across his face. "I understand."

"No, I mean…shit, I'm not saying any of this right. I just think that maybe you want something that I can't give you yet, and it wouldn't be fair for me to pretend I can. I mean, I want to, but just…not yet."

"So, it doesn't mean _no_, just _not yet_?"

I grinned weakly at him. "It means I want to be here with you. I want to see more of you. I just can't…make you any promises that I'm incapable of keeping right now."

"I can live with that," he said, and offered me his own small smile before kissing my hand again and then taking a step back. "Would you like a glass of wine while I make us dinner?"

"I would _love_ a glass of wine. I can help you with dinner, though."

"No need," he said, pulling a wine key out of a drawer. "This was my thanks to you, remember? I promise I won't even burn the bread. Just sit and keep me company while I cook."

The last vestiges of awkwardness from our conversation melted away as he prepared dinner and I told him about how an English Lit major ended up building websites for a living, and he told me all about his plans for his new practice. After another glass of wine I'd mellowed considerably, and the mood between us was much more relaxed by the time we sat down at the dining room table. We chatted about my impressions of Miami and Carlisle suggested that I start running in the pre-dawn coolness until I acclimated somewhat to the heat and humidity. We'd both just finished eating when a flicker of lightning and a rumble of thunder caught our attention.

"Oh crap, I forgot that it was supposed to storm tonight. Alice mentioned something about it."

"They were forecasting a severe thunderstorm warning earlier," Carlisle mused. "Let's go see what they're saying now on the local news."

He offered his hand and I took it gladly as he led me into the living room. I curled up on the couch as he turned on the television and flipped it over to a local channel. A severe weather warning was scrolling across the bottom of the screen, reinforced by the claps of thunder that were increasing in frequency outside.

"Maybe I should leave now," I said hesitantly. I'd had half the bottle of wine by that point, but I didn't want to drive through a raging thunderstorm in a city I wasn't entirely familiar with either.

"Why don't you wait and see if it blows through first?" Carlisle suggested. "The storms here are really quite something if you're not used to them."

Before I had a chance to respond, the wind picked up appreciably outside, whooshing around the house with a strength that made me think about hurricanes. "Yeah, you might just be right about that."

There was a louder burst of thunder and a second later, the lights and television both flickered and then faded, leaving us in darkness. Carlisle swore softly. "I was afraid that would happen, the power goes out here almost every single time a big storm rolls through. The entire block is probably out."

"It's no biggie," I assured him, pulling a light woven afghan off the back of the couch and wrapping it around my shoulders. "I'm not afraid of the dark."

"Unfortunately I'm fairly used to this," Carlisle grumbled, pulling a box of long matches off a shelf. "Could you light any white candles you see in here? I'll go light some in the hall and the bathroom. I don't even bother putting them away any more."

I nodded and he handed me the box, then slipped out of the room. I busied myself lighting the twenty or so pale candles scattered around the room; Carlisle hadn't been kidding when he said he was used to the power going out. I'd just finished and blown out the match when he returned.

"Well, this isn't exactly how I'd imagined our night ending," he apologized. "I usually just end up reading medical journals when this happens."

"As thrilling as that sounds," I drawled, "I don't know how much I'd get out of that. What else have you got?"

He smirked at me. "Scrabble?"

"What?"

"I've got either Scrabble or Trivial Pursuit, take your pick."

I laughed. "I'd have to be insane to play Scrabble with a doctor, are you kidding?"

"I think any words I use have to be in the Scrabble dictionary," he pointed out, crossing the room to a heavy wooden armoire. "Trivial Pursuit, then?"

"Bring it on!" The wine had made me recklessly brave, but Trivial Pursuit was one board game I was somewhat good at. I had a knack for remembering random useless trivia, and it had always served me well at the game in the past. Jacob had refused to play with me after I beat him the first few times.

Carlisle pulled the box out of the armoire and carried it over to the coffee table as I cleared a space, pushing the candles and books out of the way. He set it up quickly and handed me the small plastic pie, his fingers brushing over mine as he did so. I shivered a little.

"Are you cold?" he asked, immediately concerned, and I shook my head, slipping to the floor and folding my legs under me. With the couch at my back and the luxuriously-soft throw over my shoulders, I was actually very comfortable. Carlisle handed me the die and moved to sit next to me. "You can go first."

I tossed the small cube onto the game board and we began in earnest. Carlisle was as competitive over the game as I was, and I knew he was surprised at how easily I was able to spout random pop culture trivia and obscure facts. I was even pretty good at the Sports category, thanks to Charlie's favorite pastime. Time slipped by quickly in the candlelit darkness, and soon enough we were tied: I needed a Geography piece to complete my pie, and he needed, ironically enough, Science and Nature.

"God, you are _dangerous_ at this game!" he exclaimed when I correctly answered a question about the Iberian Peninsula and aimed at moving my pie back towards the center.

"If you only knew," I giggled, "You would have insisted on Scrabble. I _suck_ at Scrabble."

"I suppose it wouldn't be fair if I tried to distract you," he muttered, slipping his arm down from where it rested on the couch and tugging gently at my hair.

"It won't work; I have my game face on now." It was probably the wine speaking, but I had success in my sights and a slight sense of euphoria clouding my head.

"I could try though," he suggested, his voice dropping a little. His fingers moved up to run across the back of my neck and I immediately felt goosebumps jump over my skin.

"That's cheating."

"There's nothing in the rules that specifically prohibits distractions," he contradicted, his fingertips now stroking lightly over my scalp, pulling my hair just a little with each pass. I wanted to purr at the sensation but that was just silly, so I settled for a breathy little moan when he tugged at my hair again.

"You look so beautiful in candlelight," he said abruptly, and I looked at him, my eyes wide.

"I wasn't before?"

"Oh, you were…but now you are utterly exquisite." His blue eyes, darkened to navy in the low light, raked over me. "Smart _and_ beautiful is quite the lethal combination, you know."

I sagged back slightly against the couch under the weight of his stare, feeling a slow fire begin to lick through me. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"You _are_ beautiful," he insisted, his hand slipping out of my hair to slide down my neck and rest on my shoulder. "I'm astonished that you still don't realize that."

There were several beats of silence as his eyes locked with mine, before he shifted his body closer to me. "Bella…I want to kiss you again."

"Okay." I couldn't have given him another answer to save my life.

"You can tell me to stop whenever you want."

"Okay."

He inched closer. "I've wanted to do this again…"

"Carlisle?" I breathed against his lips.

"Yes?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

So he did. And this kiss, although it was as perfect as the ones before, had insistence behind it, and that melted my last little wisps of hesitation. His mouth was more forceful now, pushing my willing lips apart so that his tongue could plunge in immediately, and I could only moan softly against him as he shifted slightly over me, taking command of the situation. Another deep hot kiss and then he pulled back, his blue eyes almost black as they burned into mine.

"You'll tell me to stop if you want me to?"

"I want this," I whispered, bringing up my hand to wrap around his neck and pull his face back to mine. And it was true, despite my guilt I'd wanted him badly from the moment he first pressed me up against my car and kissed me in the rain. I only now knew how much.

A raw groan boiled up from his chest and in a heartbeat he had moved over me, his knees on either side of my curled legs so that he was straddling my body, hovering over me as I lolled back against the couch. His hands framed my face and his lips came back down fiercely on mine, a much more demanding move that I immediately responded to. I felt every nerve in my body stand up when his teeth nibbled along my lip, his tongue swiping over it immediately afterwards to soothe the sweet sting there, and I arched against him.

My hands pulled at his shirt until I'd tugged it loose from the waistband of his pants and, too impatient to fiddle with the buttons, I slipped my hands up under it, sliding smoothly against the hot skin there. His breathing hitched and his lips stilled for a second as my fingers trailed up over the lean hard muscle of his abdomen, ran over his ribs, and then up even further. I could feel his heart pounding as my fingertips skated over his chest and the light sprinkling of hair there.

"Bella," he gasped, his face dropping so that his cheek was pressed against mine and his mouth was burning against my ear. "I want you, I want you so badly right now. Please either tell me to stop or tell me to make love to you, I need you to tell me what you want…"

I turned my head so that we were face-to-face, my nose bumping against his. The heat coming off his skin was almost overwhelming, and I felt every bit of lust in my body begin to rise to the surface, just under my skin, following the path his fingers traced over me. There was only one answer that I could give him, the only thing I wanted at that moment. "Carlisle…I want you too…please…"

His forehead dropped to my shoulder and for a moment I thought he was going to collect himself and pull away. But his eyes, when he pulled back and met my gaze, were suddenly so intense that I could almost feel the weight of them holding me down. "Tell me that again."

"I _want_ you," I managed, my voice breaking on the word. It was so inadequate, but it was all I could say at the moment…because there were no words for the hot steady burn that was inexorably building deep inside of me. I only knew that I needed this man, and I needed him _now_.

He stood suddenly, and then reached down to grasp my hands in his, pulling me up against his body. When I was steady on my feet, his lips descended to mine again, his hands sweeping down my back to settle on my hips. I whimpered and reflexively pressed up against him, now feeling his hard arousal straining against the front of his pants, solid against my front. The sensation shot another flare of lust through me, from the tips of my toes all the way up to where my lips were pressed against his. My body instinctively responded to the signals that his was giving off, and I ground up against him before I could stop myself, getting lost in the hard presence of his body over mine, lips that were demanding even as they gave, and his breath which was coming in shorter pants as I moved against him. "Bella…"

"Don't think," I ordered, before swiping at his earlobe with my tongue. His resulting groan made me brave and I ran my fingers through his hair as I spoke again. "I want this too. I want _you_."

He jerked at my words and then, before I realized what he was doing, bent slightly and hitched me up against him so that my feet were no longer touching the floor. I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist and when he moved, I realized it was what he'd intended all along. My arms tightened around his shoulders and I buried my face in the smooth skin of his neck, kissing him there as he carried me out of the living room and down a dark hallway.

I hadn't realized my eyes were shut until they snapped open when he laid me down on a bed, and I immediately realized he must have taken me to his bedroom. There were a few lit candles there already, but it was much darker than the living room had been. He carefully stretched out over me and I hummed in pleasure at the renewed contact, letting my legs fall apart so that he was truly cradled between my thighs. I could feel the delicious pressure of him pushing up against me even more firmly then, but it still wasn't enough.

I unfastened the first two buttons of his shirt and then gave up, yanking impatiently at it until he reached back to pull it up and over his head, exposing his naked torso to me. It looked as good as it felt, and I couldn't help but run my fingers over him again, learning the smooth hard dips and curves of his abdomen; the muscles that clenched at my touch. When my fingers dropped to the button of his pants he reached down and caught my hand, then brought it up to his lips and kissed it. "Let me…"

He undressed me slowly, placing a kiss over every inch of skin that he exposed, taking his time to lick and nibble at me until I truly began to think that I would climax just from that alone. He was in no hurry as he slid the straps of my dress down off my shoulders to kiss the upper slopes of my breasts, and then gently pulled the garment further down so he could nuzzle at my stomach while I gasped and squirmed under him. I hadn't bothered wearing a bra with the tight bodice of my dress, so after he carefully pulled all the material away and I lay before him in just my panties, he stopped and let his gaze burn over me.

"Oh God, Bella…you are so beautiful, so perfect…"

Then he was kissing over my hipbones before hooking his fingers into the waistband of the lacy little panties, easing them down over my thighs as he continued to kiss the new areas he exposed. I gasped when his lips brushed briefly over me _there_, pressing a soft kiss against my clit, but not going any further. The panties were down and slipping over my ankles as he kissed his way down the inside of my thigh, over my knee and calf, and then back up the other leg.

"Beautiful," he whispered when he reached my face again, before indulging in another languid kiss. I could feel the fabric of his pants rasping against my skin and I reached impatiently for the button and zipper. This time he let me, and I unfastened everything as quickly as I could. He hissed when my knuckles rubbed over his very prominent erection, and then quickly pulled his pants and boxers the rest of the way down his legs. When he settled back between my legs again, there was nothing between us, just hot skin against skin.

He slowed again, stilling my eager movements under him, letting his lips make their way back down over my sternum before settling between my breasts. He placed several kisses there and then skimmed up over one, and kissed around my nipple before slowly licking it and then pulling it firmly into his mouth. I gasped immediately at the sudden increase in sensation as his teeth grazed lightly over the sensitive flesh, following it with several long slow strokes of his tongue. When he'd worked it into a hard throbbing peak, he let the tip of his tongue trail down and over and then repeated the action on the other side.

I was on fire, I was drowning, I was already exploding into a million pieces. The feelings that Carlisle was teasing out of my body were taking over everything, and I didn't even feel in control of myself anymore. When his fingers ran down to stroke me lightly, I could feel how wet I was in the slip of his skin against mine, how hard I was already throbbing, so desperately in need of his attention. I went rigid and quivered against him as he slipped a finger inside of me and then let his thumb rub against my clit at the same time. When he pulled his finger out of me, his thumb moved down only to push back up when his finger sank in again. He repeated the sweet push and pull until I was gasping and balancing dangerously close on the precipice of orgasm. It was there, clenched tightly inside my lower abdomen, ready to shatter.

Desperate for a distraction, anything to prolong the pleasure that was eating me alive from the inside out, I ran a hand down his chest and stomach, lifting my touch until it was just my fingertips against his skin when I reached his arousal. I feathered down its length as he groaned, already aching and desperate to feel him inside of me. He was so hot and so hard, and everything I needed was _right there_, and my patience was rapidly evaporating. I wrapped my hand around him, and he immediately flexed his hips forward, pushing into my fist.

I felt myself go even more liquid against him as he began peppering feverish kisses across my face. "Bella, I want you so much," he moaned against me, making me shiver. "I wanted this to be sweet and slow for you, but I can't…"

"I don't want you to wait," I whispered resolutely, reaching down to cup his hips in my hands, trying to angle him firmly back between my legs again.

"Let me get…" He leaned to the side and grabbed a small foil packet from the top of his bedside table, quickly ripping it open. Despite myself, I smiled.

"I'm sure you don't just keep the condoms on top of the table…were you planning on getting lucky tonight?"

"Desperately hoping," he breathed in reply, rolling the latex down his length before settling his weight onto his forearms on either side of me, his lips tangling with mine again. I bent my knees and bit back a choked cry when I felt the very tip of him slide over me. I was so unbelievably aroused that even that slight contact made my lower abdomen clench and the exquisite burn coiled and contracted. It wouldn't take much for me to come, I knew it.

When he settled and began a long slow push, sheathing his length inside of me, the sensations became too much. The thick drag of him as he slowly entered me was the last spark I needed, I couldn't have stopped my reaction for the world, and my hips jerked as a climax ripped through me, almost painful in its intensity. I threw my head back and my mouth fell open as he continued pushing steadily into me through the throbbing of my walls around him; the pleasure stole my breath away.

"Jesus Christ," he groaned, finally fully surrounded by me as the last pulses of my body gripped him tight. "Bella, I'm not going to last very long if you keep that up."

"Your…fault…" I gasped.

"I'll gladly take credit for that," he murmured, before withdrawing almost all the way in a long slow pull, then seating himself back again in an equally unhurried push. My back came up off the bed as I arched under him, hot tingles already bubbling back up again. He repeated the action several more times, and then captured my lips, sliding his tongue in and out of my mouth to the same rhythm that his body set. I was moaning almost non-stop now.

"So sweet," he muttered into my mouth, before increasing the speed of his hips, his pelvic bone rubbing firmly against my clit with each push. I stiffened against him and dug my fingernails into his shoulders as he dipped down without ceasing his thrusts, taking a nipple in his mouth and tugging on it gently with his teeth. When I began writhing too hard for him to keep up, he placed hot open-mouthed kisses over my skin, working back up over my chest, to my neck, to my face.

He pressed his forehead against mine. "I can feel how close you are again, Bella, and I want to watch you come this time. Keep your eyes open and look at me while you come."

It took only a few more firm strokes as his fingers and lips also moved over my body, and I was exploding around him again, pleasure so deep and intense it was almost like hot gorgeous pain knifing through me. He kept moving as long as he could, his eyes locked on mine, before his face contorted and he let out a strangled moan. He thrust harder and faster, and then jerked, his expression collapsing into one of sheer bliss as he came, gasping my name. A weak little cry was the only response I was capable of giving.

He held still for a moment, panting against me, and then pressed another passionate kiss against my lips. "Stay put," he ordered softly, before slowly pulling out of me; I immediately groaned at the loss of him. He disappeared for a moment, then returned, pulling me into his arms as he lay down beside me again.

"Bella…I have never seen anything as beautiful as you coming apart around me. Thank you."

I murmured something wordless back to him.

"Will you stay the night with me? Please? I want to make love to you again...I _need_ to have you again."

"I'll stay the night," I whispered. My brain and body were still pleasantly buzzing from the powerful orgasm I'd experienced, but the thought of doing it all over again with Carlisle was more than enough incentive to stay.

He pulled me deeper into his warm embrace and I sighed, tired but perfectly content in the comfort of his arms.

***

We made love twice more that night before we both succumbed to complete exhaustion. I fell asleep as he gently stroked his fingers through my hair, running his hands down over the skin on my back.

When I woke up again, I blinked groggily before automatically looking in the direction of the bedside table. The digital alarm clock there was flashing 12:00, and memories of the previous evening began trickling through my mind. My swollen lips curved up a little and I turned my head to see Carlisle asleep next to me, one arm thrown up over his head, his beautiful face in profile.

My muscles ached with a very agreeable burn as I carefully inched out of the bed and then stretched. I had no idea what time it was, but dawn was just beginning to streak the sky outside, and there was a very insistent bird singing in the tree next to the window. I automatically began looking around for my dress when suddenly a rush of déjà vu hit me, so strong that I was actually dizzy for a moment, and sat back down carefully on the edge of the bed.

I'd been in this situation before. Gathering my clothes, trying not to wake a man who'd just given me a night of unimaginable pleasure, trying to sneak out before he could roll over and ask me to stay.

Or ask me to go.

I didn't want to be the girl who had this routine down pat.

Tears stung in my eyes as realization roared over me. I didn't regret a single thing I'd done with Carlisle, or with Edward weeks ago. I _did_ regret that I was sneaking out as though I did have something to be ashamed of, as though I were running away before it caught up with me.

I took a deep breath, surprised at the sudden onslaught of emotions rocking me. The thoughts running through my head were ones I hadn't even consciously realized were there, but now was not the time or place for deep self-analysis. I could either get dressed and leave, or I could curl back up in bed against the warmth of Carlisle's body. Or, I suppose I could probably go into the kitchen and try to figure out how to work his fancy coffee maker.

I chanced a brief glance back over my shoulder, only to jump and let out a little squeak of surprise when I saw that Carlisle's bright blue eyes were open and fixed on me. "I'm…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"I'm a doctor, I'm used to being a very light sleeper," he murmured in reply. "Where are you going so early?"

"I don't know," I replied softly.

"Hmm." He shifted, turning onto his side to face me. "It looks like you were trying to sneak out on me."

"Uhh…"

He rubbed a hand over his face and then raked it back through his hair. "You can do whatever you're most comfortable with, Bella, but I truly hope you'll get back into bed with me. I'm not quite ready to let you go yet."

I exhaled a breath I hadn't even realized was stuck in my chest, and felt some of the tension melt out of my body. There was no reason to run away, nothing to keep at a safe distance. Carlisle offered me a sleepy smile. "Please?"

_Don't think anymore, Bella. Just do what feels right_. I lifted the sheet and slid back into bed. Carlisle's warm hard arms immediately wrapped around my waist and he snuggled me back against his body before kissing the top of my head. "Good morning, beautiful."

*

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A/N:

Kate: So Brits, what did you think of Dr. McYummy in this chap?  
***Brits convulses on the floor, drooling and twitching in a Dr. Fuck-me-now induced seizure***  
Kate: OH SHIT, NO TWIN, NO, DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT!!! IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE?!? PAGING DR. MCYUMMY FOR PEEN-TO-MOUTH RESUSCITATION!!!  
***Brits murmurs incoherently*** peen....mouth...yummy...  
***Kate lovingly slaps Brits around until she blinks rapidly K-Stew style and comes to*** You okay there bb?  
Brits: God DAYUM, twin! That was so fuckhawt you nearly made me go catatonic! Can you just....go over there a minute? I need to talk to our readers.  
Kate: Sure thing, I'll just be over here reassuring Playboyward that his time is cumming, err, coming  
Brits: You do that. ***motions to readers* **Come closer guys. Ok, for realz, I probably shouldn't fangirl on my co-author but holy fucking fuck, was that not the hottest shit EVER? So I'm thinking, since Kate busted her ass...and her loins...we should review the shit out of this chap, yeah? She totes deserves it after the workout she gave herself...I MEAN, gave Bella. Yeah. So leave a crapton of reviews and I'll start working on Playboyward's chap...cuz you know he has something to say. Cool? K....Kate, you can come back now, you lemon hoor!  
***Kate wanders back with Playboyward in tow*** Hey, this sexy beast here misses you, Brits...and I'm sure he's not the only one! I know I'm ready willing and able...TO READ.  
***Brits grabs playboyward by the collar*** Come on, big boy...you have some mighty big shoes to fill!  
Kate: So although we (and when I say we, I include Dr. McYummy and Playboyward) love and adore every single review you leave us, we also love it when you visit us over at the Twilighted thread! You'd be amazed at some of the stuff that gets posted over there...just sayin'! www(DOT)twilighted(DOT)?f=44&t=8305&st=0&sk=t&sd=a

Until next time, lovelies!


	6. The Monogamies

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just a reminder, Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

* * *

CPOV

I felt my body become colder the moment she separated herself from me.

Outside of my home, typical morning harmonies were making themselves known. Overeager birds, singing their song. Impatient travelers, laying on their horn. The heavy wind, composing itself after the brutal storm.

But there was nothing that existed in my world beyond the dark, spiraling hair flowing along the delicate curve of her spine.

I had no words for this level of beauty.

I watched with ample intensity as she lifted herself from the tangled sheets, each stretch and twist of her body captivating me entirely. She looked around the dim room for a moment, seeming to absorb what we had done as a little smile curved her lips.

I was preparing to reach out and grab her hand to pull her back into bed with me…until I realized that she was looking for her clothing.

It wasn't just my face that fell…I felt the whole world begin to crumble.

Did I do something to make her want to leave? Was the instantaneous connection we found not enough to make her stay?

I thought it was.

But the moment she sat back down on the edge of the bed, her small hand clasped to her bare chest and despair filling her breathtaking features, I realized that there had to be something more.

Maybe we were too much, too fast.

Not for me of course, but for a young woman who just got out of a five year relationship where she wasn't being properly worshipped, well…maybe the level of devotion I wanted to shower her with was too overwhelming for her to take on so suddenly.

I still couldn't bear it if she left me like this.

My heart began thrumming rapidly once she looked over her shoulder, brown eyes watery yet mesmerizing as she met my intense gaze. She looked ashamed as she covered her naked breasts and broke our eye contact. "I'm…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"I'm a doctor, I'm used to being a very light sleeper," I murmured softly, my eyes still intent on her every move. "Where are you going so early?"

Her eyes fell to the expanse of space between us…a space that was unnecessary and had no right to exist at all. "I don't know," she whispered.

_Oh Bella, just stay with me…_

I turned to face her fully and hummed in contemplation. "It looks like you were trying to sneak out on me."

Her stuttering response confirmed my fear.

The last thing I wanted was for her to be somewhere she didn't want to be. More than anything, my trepidation rested on the fact that perhaps she regretted this…regretted what we had found in one another so quickly.

I ran my hand over my face before burying it in my disheveled hair. "You can do whatever you're most comfortable with, Bella, but I truly hope you'll get back into bed with me. I'm not quite ready to let you go yet."

I watched her as she internally debated whether my morning would be filled with confusion and doubt, or if she would grant me a sweet finale to the hours she let me touch her skin, feel her heart race, and worship her miraculous body.

I just wanted to hold her…I just needed the calm euphoria she blessed me with every moment she sighed contentedly in my arms.

"Please…" I tried to keep the desperation out of my voice, my lips curving into a lazy smile as she stared back at me. My fingers twitched to grab her wrist and surround her in my embrace, but this had to be on her terms…this had to be something that we both mutually wanted.

I nearly cried out in relief as she gave me a shy nod of her head, lifting up the covers and sliding in until she was against me once more, warming my skin and causing my heart to flutter as if its frequency had been rewired completely.

I was only hers now…I belonged to a girl who couldn't be rushed into something serious. A girl who clearly wanted me but wasn't ready to dive back in so quickly. I couldn't blame her for her hesitancy, but it certainly didn't mean that I'd be giving up.

Because after one simple night of thunderstorms and mindless trivia, I had found the woman who not only held the power to awaken me from an endless fog, but also the woman who was the key to my healing.

Hours of therapy and years of distance from the person who broke me couldn't begin to fix my heart. But Bella could. In fact, Bella _was_. I couldn't deny the way she made me feel.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, letting myself feel nothing but my forearms sliding over the smooth skin of her abdomen as I held her, the rise and fall of her back against my chest as she breathed a steady rhythm, the soft moans of satisfaction as she leaned back against my body.

_There was nothing more than this…_

"Good morning, beautiful," I whispered softly against her ear, kissing the silken strands of her hair and begging the hands of fate not to take this away from me yet.

Just not yet.

~*~

EPOV

I sat on my leather couch, re-lacing my Nikes for what seemed to be the twentieth fucking time.

From the corner of my eye, I could see my dog staring at me unwaveringly.

"Don't look at me like that, Tay," I murmured, tightening my shoes for the last time and standing from the couch with a sigh.

I ran my fingers through my hair absently and swiped my keys off the counter, removing Taylor's leash from the hook next to the door. "Come on, wanna go for a ride?" I asked in a tone that was far too bubbly for my current mood.

She lifted an eyebrow at me but didn't move from her stationary position on the sofa. "Don't give me that shit, Tay-Tay…going for a walk is like your own personal brand of crack-cocaine, now get over here," I grumbled in irritation.

She wouldn't move and held her eyebrow in the upright position, judging me silently with the puppy-expression on her face.

"Christ," I muttered, walking back over to the couch and plopping back down in a heap. "Look, we're only going over there because the hot chick on the news said it was _the_ place to run. You know me…I'm not some kind of pervy-ass stalker. I make the women come to me, this has nothing to do with her, so let's just go already!"

I did a double-take when my faithful dog seemed to roll her eyes at me. I stood from the couch and went back to the door, swinging Taylor's leash in front of her enticingly. "Come on, baby girl, you're gonna get fat if you don't get off the couch."

She growled softly and blinked at me in aggravation.

"I'll let you intermingle with the fellas…you aren't dating until you're at least seven years old, but I'll let you get your flirt on…"

She seemed to ponder this a moment before jumping off the couch and running to my side.

Hmm…apparently I wasn't the only one that was hard up.

I bent down to attach the leash to her collar and she licked my cheek before pushing her head beneath my chin to give me a hug.

"I know," I sighed, scratching behind her ear. "I love you too…and stop worrying about me, I'll get my shit figured out. Come on, let's roll."

The drive wasn't really that far to Coral Gables, especially with the top down and the music blaring. It would be hotter than normal today, the humidity already stifling my breaths even in the early morning hours.

It had been awhile since I'd gone on a run, but I needed the release. I needed to let go of all this pent up energy I had been carrying around with me the past few weeks.

The weight of something I had spent every waking minute trying to deny, but failed miserably to suppress.

That girl had turned my fucking world inside out, made me doubt everything I'd ever stood for, made me question who the hell I was, made me view every single aspect of my life in a new light…and as much as I craved seeing her again, I so desperately resented her for this.

I was happy with my life. I scratched my sexual itch when I needed to, surrounded myself with amazing family and friends, fulfilled myself professionally by doing good for the community…and yet ever since I woke up to a cold, empty bed that fateful morning weeks ago…I'd felt so empty.

What had this girl done to me?

I could try to lie to myself and my dog, the only two people who truly knew what my problem was, but I wasn't fooling either one of us. I was looking for any excuse to see her again and discover why the hell one night of passion had me second guessing everything I'd ever known.

The odds were slim to none that I'd see her just because I was on her turf. In fact, I probably didn't have a cold chance in hell of finding those dark brown eyes amidst the endless sea of people. In all actuality, I had no idea why I was doing this at all, but here I was, driving nearly an hour to jog a path I had no interest in whatsoever.

And the real kicker was, my best friend was dating _her_ best friend.

The means of getting to Bella Swan were never ending. I could attain her number from Jasper, stop by their house with him, milk Jazz for every single detail available about the girl I couldn't get out of my head, sweet talk Alice in order to get to her roommate…

But my pride and pig-headedness stood in the way of every single opportunity that presented itself.

I refused to demand details from Jasper like a smitten thirteen-year-old girl. I refused to beg and steal for her phone number in order to pine away at her until she agreed to see me again.

I never wanted to be that person.

So instead of taking the easy road, I decided to take the long and winding one. Which primarily consisted of finding random, dumb ass excuses to visit a town I had no business being in just to possibly catch a glimpse of a girl I couldn't stop thinking about amongst the thousands of Coral Gables residents.

Christ, Taylor was right. I _was_ a fucking idiot.

I pulled into the parking lot and groaned as the sweltering heat pelted me, immediately tossing my shirt into the back seat and slipping a bottle of water into my front pocket. I could just see the headline now.

_Local playboy turned pathetic stalker passes out from the scorching heat during his desperate attempt to find the object of his pitiable affection._

Water was definitely the way to go.

I motioned for Taylor to get out of the car and pointed down at her authoritatively. "Stay next to me and you won't have to wear the leash, got it?"

She jumped up, pressing her front legs to my abdomen and barking cheerfully. I chuckled and began our slow jog, letting my mind wander as my feet pounded the pavement rhythmically.

The weeks since I brought Bella to my bed had disappeared in a flash, yet I felt like I had fought a battle in the wake of her onslaught. Because there was no other way to describe what she had done to me—walking into my world all beautiful and mesmerizing, fucking up my game and making me think of nothing else but the fire in her eyes when she climaxed on top of me.

The days following our encounter weren't particularly trying. I couldn't deny that I was disheartened when I woke up without her next to me. The only reason I allowed either one of us rest was because I had very real plans to make her scream my name while the sun's rays danced across her smooth skin.

But it wasn't the first time I woke up without the previous night's conquest, so I truthfully thought nothing of it. I went on about my life, feeling a nagging tug in the pit of my stomach every so often but ignoring it incessantly.

But I couldn't stop dreaming about her.

It wasn't just dreams of her coming or moaning or begging for my touch. No, my subconscious mind was torturing me with visions of her eyes crinkling when she smiled, the gentle melody of her laughter, the way her fingers felt with they were entwined with mine.

After three consecutive nights of my brain assaulting me with nothing but _Bella fucking Swan_, I realized that I potentially had a very serious problem.

And I knew exactly what I had to do.

The next weekend, my boys wouldn't go out to the club with me but it truly didn't matter. I was on a mission. By my fifth scotch, I had begun the hunt for my next conquest. It wasn't long before a bleached-blonde with blaringly fake tits and a spray-on tan bellied up to the bar beside me, batting her mascara-crusted eyelashes like she was some sort of walking, talking orgasm.

She was right up my alley.

Only this time, the nagging in my stomach turned into lurches. I found myself questioning why exactly she was my girl of choice. Why I would want to take her home when most of her body was man-made…and more importantly, why the hell I didn't even want to look at this girl in the first place. Fuck, I didn't want to look at _any_ of them. Too blonde, too tan, too generic…_not her._

This realization taunted me, and I was determined to prove myself wrong.

In forty-five minutes, I had Tiffany pressed against the pristine wall of Room 572 in the nearby _Ritz Carlton _as she mewled and clawed the shirt off of my back, thrusting her hips against mine.

My stomach was heaving.

I ignored every other impulse besides the need to prove that I wanted to fuck this girl. With a feral growl and a blinding determination, I lifted her skirt above her waist and pressed my half-hard cock against her wet pussy.

I closed my eyes and bit her neck as I imagined the dark brown eyes that haunted me day and night. I tuned out Tiffany and pictured what Bella would ask me to do if I had her pressed against the wall. How Bella would touch me if it was she who was wrapped around me right now.

I didn't stop imagining Bella's glorious face when I was released from my pants and a condom was rolled onto me, my cock now hard and aching from each vision of _her_ that enveloped my mind.

And I didn't stop when Tiffany had her way with me on the hotel room floor.

God, all I thought about was _her._

Brown eyes and a cute little grin. Busting my balls and exhilarating me to no fucking end.

I swallowed down her name when I came.

It was an eye-opening experience to say the least.

Tiffany left not too long after I had sex with Bella in my mind, and I was immediately overcome with guilt. While she had no idea I was absorbed in a completely different girl, it was still a despicable thing to do to remove myself from the situation like that. She was still a beautiful woman at the heart of it, and she sure as hell deserved more from me than a few random thrusts of my hips.

I left that hotel room feeling like the scum of the fucking earth…and lower than I'd ever been.

I moped around my loft the next day, feigning the stomach flu in order to prevent my loved ones from seeing me like this. I put blankets over my windows to block out the sun and acquainted myself with a large bottle of _Johnny Walker_, drowning out my misery and confusion with burning, intoxicating liquid.

Taylor rested her head on my thigh and looked up at me with worried, omniscient eyes the entire day.

She was so much more than an animal…sometimes I was convinced my baby girl held the long lost secrets of the universe behind her big brown eyes.

After my day of wallowing, I did my best to suppress the knowledge that just maybe I needed something more from Bella Swan than repetitive orgasms.

Maybe I needed _her._

It was obvious that Jazz knew something was bothering me, but that sappy bastard was so involved in his new lady, he didn't even attempt to pry into it like he normally would have. I was thankful for his lack of attention. I wasn't ready to admit that I possibly could be feeling something more for a female than increased blood flow and tingling sensations…that maybe I could feel something in another vital muscle, located a little further north than as per usual.

One fucking night, and this is what that girl had reduced me to.

But I was so happy for Jasper. He was absolutely taken by Alice. He spoke of nothing but her, which made me all the more hopeful that he would bring up Bella.

The fact that he didn't really irritated me to no end.

See, I wasn't about to beg for information about Bella, but in my fucked up head, I completely expected Jasper to inform me of every single aspect of her life. I'd ask questions about Alice, their home, their life…but do you think that brainiac cockblocker would give me even a minute detail involving that girl? Fuck no…it was extremely frustrating.

Normally I would talk to my pop about shit that was eating away at me, but I truly didn't want anyone of the human species to know about these newfound stirrings of…_emotions._

Not to mention, I knew it would secretly get his hopes up that his son was finished with following in his own deviant footsteps and ready to live a more conventional life.

When Carlisle was younger, our actions were practically identical for much different reasons, although I suppose at the heart of it, they were the result of the same heartless woman.

He had since reformed from random fucking, finally letting go of the shit my mother had put him through so many years ago and began dating again. He was afraid that I would follow down the path he did, waking up one day and finding myself middle-aged and all alone.

It wasn't a concern of mine at the time, but somehow one tiny dark-haired girl had me completely questioning whether or not my pop was right.

_Talk about a mindfuck._

Day after day I'd think of Bella Swan, and day after day, my need for her intensified.

Since Jasper was no help to me what-so-fucking-ever, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I didn't have to work very hard at it, considering that night on the evening news, a perky young newscaster informed the greater Miami Metro area of an enchanting little park in Coral Gables, an ideal spot for first time runners and a great area for enjoying the bountiful nature around you.

I begrudgingly took it as a sign.

I still wasn't fully comfortable with taking that first ugly step towards the monogamies, but the idea of seeing her smile again was enough of a reason to ignore my hesitations.

I was stirred from my reverie with a sharp yelp from Taylor.

I looked down and furrowed my brow at her, wordlessly asking her what the hell her malfunction was. She sat right down in the middle of the pathway until we were both getting cursed for blocking the flow of running traffic.

Assholes.

I dragged Taylor off to the side of the path and knelt down to her level. "What's the deal, Tay? You need water?" I retrieved the bottle from my pocket and held it to her mouth, but she didn't attempt to drink. Her eyes were bouncing from me and then to the side, a little whimper coming from her throat like most dogs made when they needed you to realize something really fucking obvious.

I turned around…and not thirty feet away from me on the other side of the path was none other than Bella.

My airway immediately constricted.

I sat there choking like a damn idiot until Taylor bumped the bottle of water with her nose and I began chugging it heartily.

_Holy shit._

While secretly the only reason I came here was for her, it didn't mean I actually expected to run into her. But now that I had, what would I do?

I watched as she bent at the waist, pressing her hands to her knees and taking a much-needed breath. Dear God, she looked fucking beautiful. Her pony tail was high on her head, her sports bra clinging to her ample breasts as her abdomen glistened with sweat. And sweet Christ, don't even get me started on her long, lean legs and the tight ass that was barely covered by her little shorts.

She was trying to kill me…and kill herself in the process. Did she really think it was a good idea to run around half fucking naked while perverts and stalkers—like me—where in the area? Looking like that would only get her into trouble, I didn't care how safe the neighborhood was. She was sex on fucking legs and here she was, strolling around with her ear buds in, ignoring her surroundings while some serial killer could be plotting his next move on her.

My fists clenched in blazing anger when a guy on a bike nearly tipped over from craning his neck to watch Bella stretch in the grass.

Serial killers and fucking perverts—it only furthered my point.

And then I froze…

What the hell was I thinking?

What was this anger…this uneasy sensation that took me over as I watched her being ogled? Why was I so pissed that she was running in the middle of the morning in a heavily-populated area? Why was I so convinced that her state of undress would target her for psychopaths? And why the hell was I so utterly worried about her?

Holy shit…_I was jealous._

I was jealous…and I _cared._

Taylor stared at me once more.

"Yeah, we're going," I muttered, running my hand through my sweat-soaked hair.

Hopefully I didn't stink.

She didn't notice me as I approached, her head still down as she curled her body to catch her breaths. I watched as a bead of sweat dripped down the side of her neck, and I wanted to lick it.

_Was that normal?_

God, this was going to be a disaster.

Her entire body seemed to still once she noticed there was someone standing in front of her. And her eyes damn near bugged straight out of her head once she realized it was me.

I just hoped that she couldn't see my heart thumping against my chest, because the adrenaline pumping through my veins was nearly painful. I quickly pulled my shit together.

"Funny," I said slowly, rubbing my chin as I fought my smile. "I would have thought you were really good at running in the morning."

"I guess not," she muttered after she recovered from her shock.

Christ, she was beautiful.

"I suppose that's just when you're sneaking out, huh?" I tried to conceal the hurt in my voice, because I was still pretty fucking resentful of the fact that it was there to begin with.

Taylor hopped up, probably trying to tell me in her own way to stop being such a dick, but I ignored her voice of reason. I was still irrationally pissed at this girl…even though her presence was making me damn near giddy. "Down Taylor," I murmured, giving her a look that clearly told her to let the Master work.

She acquiesced and sat down next to me.

"Cute dog," Bella cut in, obviously anxious to change the subject.

"Yeah, she's my baby," I said distantly, trying to keep my eyes on her face and not follow the trails of shimmering sweat along her flat stomach.

If I wouldn't let the other pervert-stalkers check her out, why should I allow myself the pleasure? "You didn't get a chance to meet her before," I downright accused.

Bella ignored me and asked if she could pet Taylor. I got really irritated when my heart started warming from the sight of the two of them introducing themselves to one another. It was too fucking hot to feel all warm and gooey inside.

It only reminded me how eager she was to fuck and ditch.

It got painfully awkward as we made an attempt at small talk, and the insecurities I felt when we first met at _Secrets _came back to me in a whirlwind. How do you _try _not to try too hard? Isn't that a contradiction in and of itself?

We talked about the park we were running in, the improbability of a pairing such as Jasper and Alice, and several other mundane topics to take away the underlying truth of this chance encounter: we had an amazing night, she ditched, I was too big of a pansy to call her, and now things were awkward as hell between us.

So what do I do when my nerves get the best of me? I act like the biggest tool in the entire fucking universe.

A gentleman would have bowed his head and smiled when he caught a lady blatantly checking him out. Not the case for me. "Sizing up the goods again?" I smiled crookedly.

"Ugh, why are you such an asshole?" she grumbled.

_I wish I had the answer, Bella…_

"Hey, you're the one who snuck out on me; I'm entitled to make you squirm a little."

"I didn't…sneak out. I just didn't see the point of waking you from what looked like a very sound sleep to tell you that I had to go," she explained, her fingers twisting together uneasily.

"Because there was somewhere _that_ important you had to be on a Saturday morning?" I squinted at her in the bright sunlight, my pretenses beginning to crumble as I got to the heart of the matter that had been lingering over my head for weeks.

"Okay fine," she sighed, looking up at me beneath her lashes. "I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye."

"Or a note," I pouted.

"But I figured we'd both gotten what we wanted, I was awake, I decided to go…"

I touched her arm cautiously, a groan nearly escaping my lips at the sticky warmth of her skin and remembering how she felt just like this under very different circumstances. I decided to shoot for honesty, whether that made me an asshole or not. "I missed you when I woke up. You were fucking amazing, Bella."

"Um, thanks," she muttered quietly, breaking our eye contact. "You were…amazing too."

It sounded like a compliment, but she was so completely detached from this conversation. Did she really not want me? I resorted to my charm and smiled widely at her. "Hey, it's a standing offer if you're interested."

Anger flashed in her dark eyes. "Oh my God, are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

Apparently that wasn't the right thing to say, because she looked like she was going to knee me in the junk and bitch slap me across the face. Christ, this shit was complicated. No wonder I made it a habit of sending the ladies along their way once we climaxed. This level of confusion was a first for me…I hated the feeling of never knowing what to say, and the beautiful girl in front of me wasn't cutting me any slack for being a noob to this situation.

"How about a first date, you pompous jerk?" she growled at me.

A date?

A date…

The smile spread slowly across my face as I realized this girl had asked me out and insulted me in one breath. That was pretty fucking amazing. "Damn, I forgot what a ball-buster you are."

I almost laughed as she balled up her fists and scowled at me. Someone as adorable as her had no business being so angry. Moreover, a jerk like me had no right to make her that way.

"Why? Because you're offering up sex like you're doing me a favor and I have the temerity to say I'd like an actual date this time? You've got a lot of nerve, Masen."

Check and mate, Miss Swan.

I tried to save face by telling her that I had a great time with her even _before_ we went back to my place, but all that did was dig me deeper into this giant hole of fuckery.

"Okay fine, you want to go out on a date? What are you doing tonight?" There was a slight tremor in my voice as I walked quickly to keep up with her retreating form, desperate to fix what I had so clearly fucked up.

"I'm busy," she spat.

Would this ever make sense? I was doing what she asked of me and yet she was still pissed.

_Women…_

"Doing what?" I pried.

"I have a date with a guy who has more class than to assume I'd be free to drop everything and go out with him the same evening."

A date?

A date…

"Hey wait, Bella, hold up!" I chased her pathetically until she turned on her heel.

"What, did you really think I'd just sit around waiting for you, Edward? You could have gotten my number and called."

She was right, but my wounded ego wouldn't allow me to take the blame. "Jasper is a cockblocking asshole," I grumbled.

"You're telling me that you _did_ ask him for my number and he wouldn't give it to you?"

Fuck, didn't she know how difficult this was for me? Didn't she know that I had no idea what I was doing since the moment she left my bed all those weeks ago? Christ, this was by no means cut and dry. But how did I begin to explain that?

"Well, no."

The hurt flashed through her eyes, and it damn near buckled me.

Why were the odds so persistent in stacking up against me? I felt an array of conflicting emotions from the moment she basically informed me that I had competition, and while it terrified me to man the fuck up and take this monumental step, I just knew she was worth it…

"Well what are you doing next week? What day would be good for you?"

After some deliberating, we decided on Tuesday. She suggested a double date with Jazz and Alice, but I quickly shot that down with a truthful, somewhat cheesy comment that I wanted her all to myself.

This brought back the ball busting, ten-fold.

Her messages were loud, clear, and a little wounding, but she made valid points--I was trying too hard, I was cocky, I was used to getting what I wanted with little to no effort on my part. But at what point does it switch from overbearing seduction to making a solid effort to change yourself for a girl—for no other reason than the fact that she makes you feel something _more_?

She softened a bit as we prepared to part ways, her lip trapped between her teeth as she gazed up at me.

"Hey, for what it's worth…I really did want to call you."

She shrugged and fixed her eyes on the ground. "It doesn't really matter."

"I think it does," I murmured, running my fingers through my hair. "I don't try to be a dick, Bella. It's just so natural for my douche-baggery to come out when I'm this nervous."

"I make you nervous?"

That fact really seemed to please her.

I winced slightly. "Yeah, pretty much."

She smiled and turned on her heel, offering Taylor a pat to the head before looking at me over her shoulder. "I'll see you Tuesday, Edward."

**

"Dude, you look like shit," Emmett observed, lounging on the sofa as I walked through my door.

"Go! Home!" I yelled, throwing my keys on the counter and kicking off my shoes. I was in no mood for company when I had a fuckton of things to think about before Tuesday.

"Damn, untwist your panties, I was just giving you shit. What's your problem anyway?"

"I don't have a problem," I lied, internally screaming that my blessing and curse was a 5'4" brown-haired vixen that completely mesmerized me and ball-busted me at the same time.

Emmett chuckled. "Whatever, bro. So have you met Jazzy's lady yet?"

I popped open a bottle of Gatorade and chugged it, my calves already starting to cramp from my run. "Yeah, I was there the night they met, remember?"

"Oh yeah," he mumbled, his eyes never leaving the flat screen. "Hey, you banged her roommate that night, didn't you?"

My fists clenched at his vulgar term. "I don't really see how that's any of your business."

Emmett looked at me like I had three heads. "Uh…since when do you not dick-down and dish?"

I sighed so deeply that my stomach muscles ached. "Since now, I guess. I'm gonna go take a shower. Order a pizza, all right?"

He nodded. "I'm all over it."

I paused in the hallway. "Emmett…do you think I'm an asshole?"

"Yep."

"Fuck off, I'm serious," I spat.

"So am I," he chuckled, his smile wide and goofy. His laughter trailed off once he took in my expression. "Shit, I don't know, man. I don't think you're an asshole but you probably come off as one to the people who don't know you like we do."

"Why?" I questioned earnestly, as if Emmett held some sort of infinite wisdom.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Cuz you're always fronting, man. You come out balls blazing like you have something to prove, when you really don't. Now I'm done playing therapist. If you still need to talk about your assholish ways, call Dr. Phil or Oprah or some shit."

I chuckled and shook my head, walking down the hall and closing the bathroom door, my head falling against the wood with a thump. I didn't know whether to feel relief or sheer terror…all I knew was that I'd been given my opportunity with Bella Swan, and I was determined not to fuck it up.

**

The weekend passed by uneventfully. As if I was attempting to officially complete my emo-makeover, I felt overwhelmingly lonely Saturday and Sunday. Emmett was forever with Rose, being dragged around by the scrotum to this event and that. Jasper was completely wrapped around Alice's little finger, which clearly suited them just fine. My pop was bogged down with preparations for the grand opening of his private practice, and Taylor was consumed in the new doggie crack I had purchased for her that came in the form of a squeaking stuffed moose.

In my state of estrogen, I almost felt as if the world was moving forward without me. I spent the majority of my day sitting in the sun on my deck, sipping a Rolling Rock and thinking about the one who started all this.

_Bella._

I knew what it felt like to be inside of her body, yet I didn't know what her favorite song was or if she was a dog person or a cat person. I didn't know what she did for a living or if she enjoyed the sun or preferred the rain.

I found myself desperate to uncover the little details that made up the brilliant woman she was…and worried that I had already blown my chances.

Sunday evening Jasper had managed to detach from Alice long enough to stop by and say hey. I decided to stop pretending that Bella didn't matter to me and hit him up for her phone number.

And wouldn't you know it, that little fucker wouldn't give it to me.

I tried to explain to him that she agreed to go out with me and that it didn't make me a stalking creeper, but he stared at me warily. "Edward," he drawled, pushing his glasses up his nose. "While I myself know of your integrity, I couldn't easily just betray the trust of Bella and Alice by giving you her contact information without knowing for a fact that Bella is interested in hearing from you."

I stomped my foot like a two-year-old. "Fuck off, Jazzabel. Let me talk to Alice then."

After a bit of negotiating, I was finally put on the phone with Alice. "My, my," she mused. I could almost see the snarky little smile upon her face. "I hear you want my girl's phone number, Mr. "_Don't Worry About My Testicles_."

"Alice."

The tone in my voice silenced her laughter instantaneously.

I ran my fingers through my hair and spoke honestly to a girl I barely knew. "I'm not messing around here."

She was quiet for a moment and I looked up at Jasper to see him studiously observing the art hung upon my wall. "You're serious about her aren't you?"

I lowered my voice even further and huddled into the corner of my couch. My face scrunched up as I pushed my forehead into my palm. "I just…I can't stop thinking about her. And yes I'm an asshole and I'll be the first to admit it but…I don't want to be an asshole to _her_."

Alice was quiet again, muttering a fleeting "holy shit." I could only assume that it was quite a feat to silence that tiny ball of fire.

"Look, I don't know how much you've heard about me, whether from Jasper or Bella. And maybe my track record isn't exactly honorable but I know that your best friend is fucking beautiful, and I don't just mean her creamy skin or her big brown eyes or the way her lip turns up when she's busting my balls." I paused and sighed, knowing I probably sounded like a total douche. "I just want to prove to her that I'm not like every other man…maybe more like I don't _want_ to be like every other man."

"Well why didn't you try to get her number sooner than three freaking weeks after the fact?" she squeaked.

"I don't have an excuse," I winced, pulling incessantly at a stray thread hanging from my t-shirt. "All I can tell you is that it's been a hell of a week, and your girl has made me second guess everything I've ever believed…in a good way, and in a terrifying way."

"Holy shit," she muttered once more.

She didn't speak for a long time, and I anxiously needed to fill the silence. "Alice, I can't promise that I'm the best guy for her at the moment, but I can promise you that I want to be. I'm really confused right now, but I just know that I need more of her."

"What, more sex?" she growled.

"No!" I nearly shrieked, rising up from the couch hastily. "Christ, I see where she gets her ball busting skills from."

"Yeah, insult me dipshit, that's a surefire way to get Bella's number."

"I like the ball busting, most of the time," I muttered, pressing my face against the window. "Fuck Alice, maybe you shouldn't give it to me. You're clearly protective of her and you should be. If I were you and some assbag was begging for her number, I'd probably tell him to piss off too. Christ, she needs to be with someone who has more than blackened ash for a heart and a verbal filter that is clearly defective. And it's not like I'm all sex, sex, sex, all the time I'll have you know. Okay, maybe a little, but only because Bella blew my fucking mind. But for the past three weeks, I've thought of nothing but her, and I miss the way she fits beneath my arm, because she just _fits_ with me--"

"Edward…" Alice interrupted my rambling, and I prepared myself for the final shut down, knowing full well I had it coming.

"Yes?" I sighed.

"Get a pen, and shut the hell up."

And just like that, I had hope again. As I hastily scrawled Bella's number onto an old receipt, I felt my hesitation about taking this huge step slip further from my mind.

Because I was tired of over thinking things to death. Maybe instead of concentrating on what I thought I had to be, I needed to focus on what felt right, and more importantly, what was right for Bella.

~*~

Monday had been a particularly long and trying day. I had a nine a.m. orchidectomy--AKA, stealing away a young basset hound's manhood--which I never particularly enjoyed. While I knew it was vital for population control and all that, I always had to put myself in their um…paws. How would I feel if someone chopped my balls off because they decided I was too horny or too promiscuous?

Fuck, I was probably more worthy than anyone of castration.

I threw myself into my desk chair and dragged my fingers through my hair, my other hand remaining permanently in my pocket. While it probably appeared that I'd been playing pocket pool all day--which would definitely explain some of the hungry stares from the nursing staff--I was really fondling the piece of paper with Bella's phone number on it.

After winning the small battle of getting Alice to give it up to me the previous evening, I was still waiting for the right time to actually use said number. Not that I needed the damn paper; I'd had her digits memorized since the second Alice rambled them off to me.

I'd probably rubbed the numbers off the paper anyway, given how obsessively I'd been squeezing it between my fingers.

I took the monumental step of removing it from my pocket and setting it on the top of my desk, staring at it like it was going to grow legs and gnaw my face off or some shit.

I was convinced that there was still a man left inside of me somewhere, so with a steady resolve, I flipped my cell open and began punching in her number.

Just as I was about to hit the send button, my office door swung open. "Fuck!" I growled, my phone flying in mid air as I jumped out of my seat, the shit very thoroughly getting scared the fuck out of me.

"Sorry, Dr. Masen," Bree sang, swinging her ponytail from left to right. "Just wanted to remind you of your 2:30 with the family that adopted the Dalmatian mix two weeks ago? Their follow-up appointment?"

I nodded hastily and began searching the floor for my Blackberry. I scooped it up after locating it and pulled at the buttons of my white dress shirt, needing some room to fucking breathe.

"Are you okay, Dr. M?" Bree questioned, looking at me like I sincerely needed some sort of professional help, which I probably did.

"Yeah, I'm good, you just startled me," I muttered.

Bree closed the door behind her and I sat back down, staring at the numbers that were already typed onto the screen.

All I needed to do was press send.

So I did.

It seemed like it rang for hours, when a sweet, slightly questioning tone blessed my ear drums. "Bella Swan."

"Bella," I breathed.

She was silent. "This is Bella…who is this?"

"Um, it's Edward. Edward…Masen?" My voice squeaked like a prepubescent teenager as I ended my statement as a question.

"Oh!" I heart a loud clunk on the other end of the line, followed by some scuffling. "Edward…hi."

"Hey," I murmured, my smile not easily contained. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." Hmm…she sounded panicked. "Things are fine, I'm just busy, work has been crazy."

I nodded. "Yeah, it has been for me too. Did you uh, have a nice rest of the day after we parted ways?"

"Yes."

_Okay…_

I wanted to ask her about her date, mainly because I wanted her to tell me that it sucked, but then I imagined the alternative answer she could give me and decided against it. "I've been…shit, I've been thinking about you," I muttered, positively certain that I sounded like a complete moron.

"Oh," she whispered, almost as if she were in a state of confusion.

The silence was ear-piercing, and this sure as hell wasn't the way I wanted things to go.

"I um…I wanted to send you flowers but then I thought you'd think I was being seductive again, when really I would have just wanted to make you smile."

"You wanted me to smile?" she questioned softly.

I nodded, but then realized she couldn't see me. "Yeah."

"I figured you would have sent me a bouquet of multi-flavored condoms or something, you know, for that _standing offer_?"

_Fuck me._

"I'm such an asshole," I grumbled.

"You are…but then you're not at the same time. It's really weird," Bella murmured. She cleared her throat and sounded abruptly more assertive. "Was there something I could do for you Edward?"

Five hundred and seventy two sordid replies flitted through my mind, but I squashed every single one of them. "Well since I skimped on the flowers in fear of trying too hard, I just wanted to let you know that I'm really looking forward to tomorrow."

"Tomorrow," she murmured distantly.

Fucking hell, if she forgot about me I was going throw myself right out the goddamn office window.

My fingers pulled through my hair to the point of pain. "Um, yeah…our date?"

"I know," she said sharply, her tone softening as she took a deep breath. "I haven't forgotten, Edward."

God, my name on her tongue…

"So I'll pick you up at seven-thirty then?" I questioned, wiping my sweating palms against my black pants.

"Yes," she breathed. "That is what we agreed upon."

She sounded almost morose about the idea of going out with me, but I passed that off as her averseness to my manwhore ways. I'd fix it if it was the last thing I did.

I laid my forehead on the cool surface of my desk and sighed. "Can I bring you flowers?" I murmured, wishing this call would have made us feel closer together instead of furthering us apart.

"You can if you'd like to."

"Bella, can I tell you something, and then I'll let you get back to work?" I cradled my phone against my ear gently.

"What is it?" she whispered.

"I want you to know that I'm sincerely sorry for not calling you. It wasn't right of me not to contact you, no matter what I was going through at the time. You were perfect…are perfect, and I don't deserve the time of day from you. But I'm trying…and I don't mean I'm trying to get in your pants or to 'dazzle' you. I mean I'm trying to make up for the way I treated you and make you see that I have only one intent--and that is to get to know you better."

She sighed forlornly. "It would be so much easier if you could just be an asshole to me right now, Edward," she practically begged me.

"Why?" I asked forcefully, feeling like we were getting close to the truth that lingered between us.

"Because I…shit, I have a call on the other line. It's probably a client, can I call you back or…"

I ran my hand over my face and sighed. "It's okay, baby. I shouldn't have taken up so much of your time. I'll see you tomorrow."

She murmured a quiet goodbye and I shut my phone, only then realizing that I called her baby and just how naturally it rolled off my tongue. It's what I called her when she was with me…when we were together…

Fuck, I needed some wisdom bestowed upon me.

I decided to call my pop and evasively ask for some advice without blatantly telling him I was coming down with the monogomies. I knew he was busting his ass to prepare for the practice's grand opening, and I felt a little selfish for demanding some time, but I was going to anyway.

I dialed his brand new office number, smiling when I heard the warming voice of Gladys, the grandmotherly receptionist he managed to steal away from Mercy. He convinced her to work for him because she was the sweetest lady in existence, not to mention she was the only one who didn't blatantly ogle my father. Well, I had caught her checking out his ass on numerous occasions, but that was a secret between me and Gladys.

"Dr. Carlisle Cullen's office," she sang.

"Ooh, what a beautiful voice," I crooned, smiling crookedly. "I was going to make an appointment with Dr. Cullen, but maybe you and I should play some doctor of our own."

She giggled obnoxiously, sounding more like a sixteen-year-old than sixty-five. "Oh, Edward! What are you doing talking to an old woman like that?" she breathed in shock.

"Come on Gladys, you know that Cougars are all the rage. Women are like a fine wine, and you are as delicious as they come," I chuckled, listening to her flustered breathing.

"Behave now, you despicable boy!" she chastised, letting out a few errant giggles. "Are you calling for your Daddy, sweetpea?"

"Yes, ma'am, only if he has a minute."

"Let's see," she drifted off, the sound of a chair rolling across the floor ringing out on the other end of the line. "I'm going to put you on hold hon, it looks like he's chatting on his mobile phone in his office. Just hang on a minute."

"Gladys," I groaned, clasping my chest. "You're breaking my heart; aren't you going to talk to me until he's through?"

She sighed and clucked her tongue. "I have a job to do, Edward Masen, and you are far too handsome to be fawning over an old bat like me. Now keep your shirt on, your daddy will be with you in a moment."

I tapped my pen against the desk, listening to the cheesy on-hold elevator music and making a mental note to tell Carlisle to spruce up the tunes a bit.

After a minute I was taken off hold, when my pop murmured, "Hang on a second, son." I heard some ruffling as if he put his hand over the receiver and continued speaking in the background. "I can let you get back to work…my son is on the landline anyway…yeah, me too. Okay, I'll call you tomorrow?" More silence. "That's fine, sweetheart…why don't you just call me when you find a moment, all right? Okay, you too, I'll talk to you soon…bye."

Hmmm…

_Sweetheart?_

It seemed as though I wasn't the only one withholding information.

"Sorry about that, Edward. What's up?" Carlisle chirped, sounding much more cheerful than normal.

"I don't know, _sweetheart_, what _is_ up?" I questioned accusingly.

He let out a harsh chuckle. "You know, since I didn't get to discipline you throughout your childhood, I think now's a great time to start. No women for two weeks, kid, you are officially grounded for eavesdropping."

I laughed, knowing by the sound of his voice that he was embarrassed. "Well I have a date tomorrow, so fat goddamn chance."

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them.

"A date?!" Carlisle's voice rose an octave on account of his utter fucking bewilderment.

"Don't read too much into it," I said hastily, pacing my office. "I'm still an asshole, douche bag, womanizing prick, afraid of the monogomies."

"Who are you trying to convince, Edward, me or you?"

Damn him and his wisdom.

"Whatever, Pop, quit changing the subject. You got a lady or what?" I pried eagerly.

He sighed. "A gentleman never tells."

I laughed boisterously. "Gentleman…yeah okay, says the Senior Manwhore."

"Hey, I've handed that title off to you, son, not that I'm exactly happy about it," he grumbled.

"Well, maybe I'm sick of that shit," I murmured distractedly, staring out my window.

"Yeah?" he questioned hopefully.

I shrugged and attempted to change the subject. "So did the silver fox land a hot piece or what? Why won't you tell me? It's fucking Gladys isn't it? That's messed up, Carlisle…"

He laughed earnestly. "There's nothing silver about this fox, kid. I'm all gold."

I scoffed. "Christ, you're starting to sound more cocky than that asshole son of yours."

"He's not so bad, once you get to know him," Carlisle chuckled.

There was a significant amount of silence and I figured it was now or never. "I don't want to go into detail and I don't want you to go all parental on me and size me for a tux or some shit, but there's this girl that…theoretically I can't get out of my head."

He was silent for a long moment. "I'm not going to press you for details, son, but I can only imagine how freaked out you are over this."

I snorted. "Vast understatement, old man."

"Would you quit with the 'old man' remarks? If you only knew…" he trailed off.

"Then tell me!" I yelled.

He chuckled shyly. "No. Now if you really think you could have something more meaningful with this girl, then you need to see where it has the potential to go."

"Yeah, I'm going out with her tomorrow, I'm just worried I'm going to be a dickhead to her. She has a real knack for busting my balls. I deserve it completely, but when I'm trying to honestly be sincere, she sees it as an act. I don't know how to convince her otherwise."

"Just take it slow, Edward," Carlisle offered. "The only way to assure her that you're intentions are honorable is to prove it over time. Treat her the way she deserves, show her that there's more to you than your…deviant ways."

"Thanks, Pop. That's great," I groaned sarcastically.

"Any time, son. Hey listen, my next appointment is here, I'm conducting a few interviews today. Can we finish this later?"

"No, it's cool. You're so wise, Carlisle. Now I will ask her to marry me and we will have two-point-five children and a white picket fence," I deadpanned.

Carlisle grumbled. "Now you're grounded for _three_ weeks, smart ass."

I laughed. "Yeah, yeah, I'll talk to you later."

"Yep. Love you."

My throat constricted and I walked nervously towards my desk. "Yeah, you too, Pop."

**

I was literally going to throw up in her fucking bushes.

My hands were so clammy that the bouquet of flowers I brought her practically slid out of my grip. I pulled at my black dress coat and checked the buttons on my dark blue shirt, hoping like hell I didn't look like an idiot. Was I overdressed? Did I look stupid?

Was this something I could do?

As I walked up the pathway to Alice and Bella's home, I noticed Jasper's Prius in the driveway and was glad to know that my best buddy would be here to have my back.

I wiped my wet hands on my pants and cracked my neck, preparing to man the fuck up. I rang the bell and the door was immediately flung open. I was met with Jazz smiling widely, taking in my shaken state. "What are your intentions with my daughter?" he said in a mock-stern voice, pushing his glasses up his nose and giggle-snorting obnoxiously.

I just stared at him with a furrowed, judgmental brow. "How did you manage to land such a hot chick, man?" I questioned earnestly. "I'll never understand it."

I was pulled into the house by the lady in question. "Because he's far more eloquent and masculine than you will ever be, Edward Masen."

She giggled and pulled me to the couch, sitting next to me. "Wow, you're the same shade of green as Bella," she laughed, muttering something about 'different reasons.'

"What was that?" I questioned, clearing my throat.

"Oh, nothing," she waved her hand, before linking arms with Jasper, who had just joined us on the couch. "So where are you taking our little girl?" she giggle-snorted just like Jazz had moments ago, and suddenly the room felt very hot.

I pulled at my collar. "Um, we're going for dinner and then I was thinking a walk along Biscayne."

Alice's eyes widened. "I hear they do parasailing there," she gulped.

I nodded. "Yeah, but I'm not taking her parasailing, not tonight anyway. Unless she wants to go…"

I anxiously looked down the hallway, searching for the girl I was here to collect.

"No, no!" Alice said in a rush. "I uh, don't think she'd like that."

I shrugged my shoulder and looked around, my knee beginning to bounce rapidly.

"So Edward," Alice mused. "The last time I saw you, you were all smooth and debonair. Right now I'd say you're nervous and fumbling. What's the deal?"

Jasper coughed awkwardly and began looking around the room, crinkling up his nose at the ceiling.

"I don't know what the deal is, Alice. I guess I'm trying to figure that out myself," I spoke honestly.

"Hmm. I suppose that answer will do for now."

I nodded my head in thanks and wiped the sweat from my brow. "Is Bella coming out soon?"

"What? Oh yeah, she'll be out soon. She's a little nauseous…I mean nervous! So, can I get you something to drink while we wait? I made some delicious spinach dip earlier, are you hungry?"

Jasper's eyes widened as he shook his head from side to side hastily behind Alice. "No thank you, I'm fine," I smiled.

She rose from the couch and ruffled Jasper's curly hair. "Well, I'll just bring some for Jasper. He loves my cooking, don't you, pop tart?" He gave her a weak nod as she exited the room.

I smiled, glad to have something to focus on besides my anxiety. "Let me guess, Alice's cooking leaves something to be desired."

"She works so hard and takes such pride in cooking for her loved ones," he drifted off, gazing past me to the door she just exited. "I'll eat her cooking and tell her how immensely I enjoyed it, if that's what pleases her."

"Holy shit, man, you're in love with her," I said incredulously.

He swallowed thickly and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Most adamantly," he murmured.

Just then, a soft 'hi' sounded out from behind me.

And everything stopped.

She was glorious in her emerald green cocktail dress, her hair swept to the side but left down, just how I liked it. She looked so unsure, so nervous as she stared at the floor, glancing up to meet my gaping stare momentarily before looking down once more.

The first thing I wanted to do was pin her up against the wall and tear her dress down the middle. The second thing was to ask her what her favorite book was and what her childhood was like.

I truly was fucked up.

I walked to her slowly, the flowers hanging loosely from my hand as saliva began collecting in the bottom of my mouth. I didn't stop walking until I was closer to her than socially acceptable, her forehead nearly pressing against my chest as I halted in front of her. "Bella," I murmured, closing my eyes at the heavenly scent that had been absent from my life for far too long.

"Bella, look at me," I whispered, urging her to look up at me but hesitant to touch her in fear that I would disintegrate where I stood.

Finally she lifted her head until our eyes met, and I couldn't help but smile wide and crookedly. My hand reached out on its own accord, my knuckles brushing along her cheek as she stared up at me with apprehension in her eyes. "You look so beautiful," I murmured, clumsily handing her the flowers. "Thank you for agreeing to see me, I promise I'll try not to screw up."

Her bottom lip came between her teeth as she shook her head. "I just want you to be yourself, Edward," she spoke softly. "And if I've given you any other impression, I'm truly sorry."

I swallowed thickly and let my knuckles fall from her flushed cheek, my fingers drifting along her forearm before settling to my side. "I'm trying to be myself, Bella. I just get so paranoid that you won't like the real me, that I do anything I can think of to impress you."

She gave me a small smile and pressed the flowers to her nose. "They're beautiful, thank you. Are you ready to go?"

I nodded, my eyes reluctant to leave hers as she walked past me and stopped in her tracks. "Do you want me to get you two some popcorn?" she growled at Alice and Jasper, who were watching our quiet moment rather intently.

Alice put her hand on her stomach and groaned. "No, sweetie, I couldn't possibly eat another bite. Thanks for the offer though."

Jazz just smiled like a fool as Bella handed Alice the flowers to put in some water. "Jeez Bella, flowers, flowers everywhere…" she sang as Bella shot her a menacing glare.

I found it best not to ask, and just scratched absently at the back of my neck.

They walked us to the door, my feet managing to move one in front of the other miraculously, considering my brain had completely checked out. Jasper held out his fist for me to bump and I chuckled at his awkward movements as Alice pulled Bella to the side.

They embraced for a long moment and I tried not to eavesdrop--ok that's a lie, obviously I'm an eavesdropper and that was the exact reason I was grounded--but I heard Alice murmur something to Bella about having fun and not to worry about anything.

Alice walked Bella over like a small child, depositing her hand into mine. I quickly intertwined our fingers and let out a sigh of relief, missing this feeling more than I even realized. I opened my eyes to see Alice looking at me intently.

I flexed my fingers between Bella's and gazed down at her. "Is this okay?" I whispered softly.

She nodded and squeezed my hand, her eyelids fluttering a moment before we turned towards the door.

Alice caught me and kissed my cheek, pulling me down by the lapel of my jacket until she could reach my ear. "You hurt my girl and I'll be wearing your testicles as earrings, Masen. They'll coordinate swimmingly with my favorite Jimmy Choos." She patted my cheek twice and I rose to full height, conspicuously covering my balls until I was out of her reach because in all actuality, I would probably do something stupid tonight.

It was in my nature.

I held Bella's hand like my life depended on it as we approached my Mercedes. The silence was blaring as I opened the passenger side door, and I couldn't take it anymore.

I slammed the door shut just as she was about to move towards it, causing her to jump. "Shit, I'm sorry," I groaned, pushing my hair away from my forehead before resting my palm flat against the top of my car. "Bella, I need to know what you're thinking."

She was uncharacteristically quiet tonight, and it was unnerving me. Where was my snarky, confident girl?

"I'm thinking that…even though I'm a little peeved at you for not calling me and assuming I'd be the kind of girl to have no strings sex with you, I also realize that I _did_ have no strings sex with you, and I shouldn't be so judgmental when you couldn't possibly know what kind of girl I really am."

"But Bella I do know," I said assertively, bringing her hand to my chest. "I was an idiot for suggesting that _open invitation _bullshit. It's just…I don't develop feelings, okay? You have completely turned my world upside down and I've spent the past three weeks denying every lingering thought I've had about you. In the park…I acted like an arrogant asshole because I was too freaked out to tell you the truth."

Her fingers curled around the fabric of my shirt as she met my frantic eyes. "What's the truth?" she whispered.

This was the moment I had been fearing and anticipating simultaneously.

I pressed her hand against my heart and looked at her with unwavering intensity. "The truth is that I have no idea what I'm doing, but I've ached since the moment I woke up and you weren't there."

Her bottom lip trembled and a thousand different emotions passed through her endless brown eyes. "The truth is that I've never had the urge to pursue a girl the way I _need_ to pursue you. It's not about sex, Bella…it's about _you_."

She shook her head and looked past me, her eyes seeming to glass over. "How can this be happening…"she whispered almost to herself.

"Bella, I can't promise you that I'll be any good at this, and I'm not stupid enough to think that you'll even want to date me, but if you do…if you feel anything in return for me at all, then let's just see where it goes."

She looked up at me warily and yet I still couldn't shut the hell up. "Do you?" I questioned.

She nodded slowly, tightening our interlaced fingers. "Our hands fit perfectly together," she whispered, and my chest constricting in a mixture of relief and pure fucking elation.

Her eyes bounced between mine and the night sky, and I suddenly feared that I had overwhelmed her. I pressed the back of my hand to her cheek and she leaned into my touch almost subconsciously. "No pressure, baby," I whispered, caressing her skin slowly. "Just spend time with me, and see what we become. Maybe nothing, maybe everything, but I just know that we can't give up on this."

She smiled and I pulled her to my chest, my eyes closing as she stealthily tried to inhale my shirt. "Let's go have some fun, huh? We'll get blazing drunk and see if you can stay off of me long enough to walk along the bay, cool?"

She began beating me with her little clutch and I laughed heartily. "Sure, go from being completely charming to an enormous dickhead in two-point-one seconds," she smiled, rolling her eyes.

I opened the door for her and held her hand tightly as she hesitated to get in. "That's me, Bella, equal parts sweetheart and raging asshole…still with me?"

She looked into my eyes a moment before smiling shyly. "I suppose," she sighed dramatically. I kissed her hand gently before helping her into the car.

"Edward?" she called, just before I closed the door.

"Bella?"

"Just be good to me, and show me who you really are…that's what I want from you."

My heart trembled to the point of most welcomed pain as she gazed up at me, honesty and pure magnificence surrounding the unbelievable girl I somehow convinced to go out on a date with me.

"Bella, no matter what happens, I'll never mistreat you again. _Never_ again…and I'm still trying to figure out who I really am. I hope that's enough."

She was quiet a moment, absorbing my words until her lips turned into a smile. "It's enough," she whispered.

That was all I needed to know.

****

A/N

Brits: So Kate, are you Team Playboyward or Team Dr. FuckMeNow?  
Kate: ***tugs nervously on Team Dr. FuckMeNow baby tee***  
Brits: Hmm...you look a little unsure of yourself ***Brits dangles Team Playboyward cut off tank in front of Kate*** Come on....look how revealing it is, you know Edward would love to see you in it...  
Kate: ***fiddles with Team Dr. McYummy baseball cap***  
Brits: You could wear both?  
Kate: Hey yeah, that works! Gimme that tank top, it'll go nicely with my new Team I WANT THEM BOTH tattoo!  
Brits: Pshh, honey I know where you got that tattoo and believe me, no one will be able to see it from that angle. Just sayin...  
Kate: That's not what Carlisle told me last night, but whateva...DAMN twin, I can't believe you actually got me, ME of all people questioning which Team I'm rooting for! This is unheard of!  
Brits: Ha, I know right? I'm done picking sides, I'm just going to take them both repeatedly and often, until I can't walk again...what? I mean, I'm not choosing between them, as I am a contributing author to this story, and it would be unethical of me to pick one over the other. Ahem.  
Kate: Right, well while Brits is trying to convince herself that she wouldn't bang both of them ten ways from Sunday, I just want to thank you all again for the fuckawesome amazing reviews you leave us...we have Dr. FuckMeNow and Playboyward read them aloud to us while feeding us bonbons.  
Brits: Mmmm...bonbons....  
Kate: OH, and before we forget, Brits and I have been amassing quite the collection of porn...er...lovely photos of our two hawt men, and if you go on over to the Twilighted thread, you might find a surprise! www(DOT)twilighted(DOT)?f=44&t=8305&st=0&sk=t&sd=a  
Brits: Oh sweet Jesus, yes. Just think of it as a "Thank you for being fuckawesome readers and corrupt perverts like us, we heart you" porn. I mean photos.  
Kate: So give Brits some love for finally letting Playboyward out to play, and we'll see you again soon!  
***Brits waves*** Bye!! :D


	7. Cinnamon

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**Chapter Seven - **

BPOV

What an unbelievably weird-ass day.

I sat staring at the Blackberry in my hand, half-expecting Jackass to call me next and tell me that he wanted me back. That would just be par for the course. Of course I had Alice to thank for giving Edward my phone number - Jasper would probably have been too terrified of my reaction if it were his doing - but that didn't minimize the weird-ass factor.

Edward had literally called just as I was picking up the phone to call Alice and ask her to get his phone number from Jasper so I could call and cancel on our date for Tuesday night. To say I almost peed my pants when I answered an incoming call and realized it was him was the understatement of the century. Things had been odd for the past three days and that was just another example.

Saturday morning, by contrast, could have been one of the most mortifyingly-awkward experiences of my life. Instead, being with Carlisle had been so comfortable, so reassuring, so _right_, that I'd realized once again that no man had ever treated me with the sweet thoughtfulness and care that he had. After he'd pulled me back into bed we hadn't spoken, but he'd held me tight in his strong arms as I slowly calmed down from my self-induced freak-out, caressing me gently and occasionally placing a soft kiss on the back of my head. There hadn't been any hint of sexual expectation or demand in his actions, something I'd almost come to expect from Jacob. He'd just held me as though he understood I needed some time to wrap my brain around what we'd done.

And then after we'd climbed out of bed, he found a thick terrycloth robe to wrap around me, and tugged me in to sit in the kitchen while he made me breakfast. Even when I'd moved to get dressed and go home, he'd struck the perfect balance between a respectful distance and reassuring comfort. It wasn't until I'd hesitated at the front door, looking up at him and wondering if things would be _weird_ between us, that he let the veneer crack a little bit.

When Carlisle pulled me against him for a hot hard goodbye kiss, it had been perfect. There were so many reasons why I shouldn't be feeling that way: he was obviously older than me; he had at least one kid I'd yet to meet; I didn't know as much about him as I probably should; and I was coming off a bad breakup…but none of that seemed to matter. When he was holding me close and his tongue was exploring my mouth with that insistent sweetness I'd already come to recognize…it all just seemed _right_.

Part of me, that crazy part that would probably only ever end up getting me into trouble, told me not to leave. But I had work to do, and I knew he was busy and would be for the next week or two, so I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him again. The wistful look in his blue eyes had almost swayed me, but I made myself leave.

No regrets, right?

That mantra was getting a lot harder to stick to, now that my emotions were apparently coming into play.

Emotions were not part of the plan. Emotions with regards to relationships were something I left behind in Seattle with Jacob…I was here in Miami to have fun, to live a little, to make up for the time I'd wasted being monogamous and boring and sexually-deprived. Miami was supposed to be my chance to go a little wild, to get intimately acquainted with hot guys if I wanted to and not feel a moment's regret.

So how had I ended up here?

I managed to block all the guilt and turmoil out on Saturday as I uploaded Carlisle's website to the web, paid bills, did laundry, and even cleaned my bathroom. When it came to avoidance tactics, I was apparently already a pro.

Sunday wasn't as easy…I thought about Carlisle a lot, and guilt started seeping in. Did I really owe him anything? I'd been honest and told him that a committed relationship wasn't in the cards for me right now…so why was I feeling guilty about my upcoming date with Edward?

Was it the sex? Did that take us to a higher level of commitment? I'd had sex with Edward weeks before and hadn't felt this…obligation. What made this different? Was it the fact that Carlisle obviously felt more for me than I was allowing myself to feel for him? Or was it because I'd finally met a man who seemed to be the ultimate "total package" and yet I still felt I should do the whole other-fish-in-the-sea-thing?

Especially since Edward, despite the ridiculous chemistry we'd had together in and out of bed, was the definitive playboy. Did I really need that? Our one night stand had been perfect as-is, but our chance meeting in the park and subsequent arrangement for an actual _date_ had changed the picture entirely. Why was I wasting more time on someone who had most likely slept with a slew of women since our encounter, and probably had a black book thicker than the Yellow Pages?

By Monday morning, my guilt and confusion were literally making me nauseous, and I'd resolved to cancel with Edward. It wasn't so much out of loyalty to Carlisle and whatever budding relationship we had, I reasoned, as it was a chance for me to get my head on straight and figure out if dating _anyone_ was in my best interest. Dating was supposed to be fun and playful, not angsty and bewildering. Carlisle was going to be busy all week and then I was leaving for Jacksonville on Thursday, that would give me plenty of time to figure out what the hell I was doing, and if I needed to take a step back from them both.

But then Edward called me, and damn him, he'd been so sweet and earnest that despite my intentions, I couldn't tell him our date was off. I just couldn't do it. He was obviously nervous and very much looking forward to it, so I took the wimpy route and confirmed that we were still on. It would have been so much easier if he'd still been that cocky self-assured bastard that I remembered, but I wasn't that lucky. And speaking of luck…halfway through our conversation I had to hang up due to an incoming call, and it was Carlisle.

I wanted to just punch myself in the face for not being able to get a better grasp on my feelings and motivations for seeing both of these men. How many women would kill to be in my place right now? Two gorgeous, successful, charming, sexy men vying for my attention, and I was having anxiety over it? But for as much as they were similar, they were also very different, and appealed to very different parts of me.

Carlisle was more confident and comfortable with himself, with me, with us, and connected with me on a level that craved straightforward passion and normalcy. Edward and I, however, had a playful chemistry that was as thrilling as it was unexpected. And I was supposed to choose between the two?

Carlisle had been just as sweet on the phone as I remembered, apologizing for interrupting my work but obviously eager to hear from me again. His voice, let alone his words, made me melt a little. I told him that I'd be busy all the next day but promised to call him before I left for Jacksonville, and tried to squash down the mysterious guilt that was still boiling in my stomach. None of that made any sense…yet here I found myself, sitting with Blackberry in hand, wondering what I'd done to be so lucky and so conflicted at the very same time.

Alice arrived home just after six that night with margarita mix in hand, as we'd already planned to spend the evening together. Jasper had some important paper due the next day, so my best friend had detached herself from him long enough for a much-needed girls' night. I'd given her the bare details of what had happened Friday night, and she knew I had a date scheduled with Edward for the next evening, but I hadn't mentioned how conflicted I was feeling about the whole situation.

"So I'm guessing it was you that gave him my phone number?" I queried before taking a long pull off my margarita.

She had the grace to at least look guilty. "I meant to tell you, but I didn't think he'd call so soon…"

"No, it's okay," I sighed. "I was going to have you ask Jasper for his number anyway, I was going to cancel on him."

Alice blinked rapidly. "Oh, and did you…"

"No. He called me and was just so sweet and…I don't know…excited about it, I couldn't do it."

She pursed her lips. "But you're not doing it out of guilt, are you?"

"Funny you should mention that," I groaned, leaning back into the couch and putting my arm over my eyes. "I have no fucking clue how I feel right now."

"Do you _want _to go out with him tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I mean, I guess I do. I _should_ go out with him. Enjoy myself while I'm young and all that."

Alice frowned a little. "Is that how you really feel, or are you trying to convince yourself to feel that way?"

God, it was moments like this that I really loved my best friend so much. She knew me better than I knew myself. "I don't know…maybe both?"

Her frown deepened as she curled up on the couch next to me. "This is me you're talking to, Bella. What's going on in that head of yours?"

I thought for a long moment. "I'm really confused. I like Carlisle a lot. Someone like Carlisle would be good for me. But I'm scared to commit to one guy again so soon, even if 'committing' just means not going on dates with other guys. And so I feel like I should go out with Edward on principle, if nothing else."

"But there's more to it…"

"Well, yeah, considering I had sex with Edward on our first date, if you can even call it a _date_, then dated and had sex with another guy, and now I'm going out with the first guy again. God, I feel like such a slut." I groaned and let my head drop back as I realized I'd finally been able to spit out the other thing that was really bugging me.

"Um, care to explain _why_?" Alice's voice was calm, but I recognized the no-bullshit tone and figured I might as well get it over with.

"Jesus Christ, Alice, I fucked Edward two hours after meeting him. Okay fine, one night stand, scratched the itch, whatever. Then I fuck Carlisle three weeks later. On the day I agreed to another date with Edward, no less. And here I am going out with Edward again. Seriously, look at it objectively!"

"I _am_ looking at it objectively." Alice looked downright pissed now. "And I fail to understand why you've convinced yourself that having safe, enjoyable, consensual, adult sex makes you a slut. You're doing a lot of this because you've convinced yourself that you _should_, but you're beating yourself up for it at the same time. I shouldn't have to spell this out for you, but I will. Fine, classify Edward as a one night stand. But you can't say that about Carlisle, can you?"

"No," I admitted.

"And are you telling me you didn't _enjoy_ having sex with those two gorgeous sexy men?"

I flushed. "Of course I enjoyed it."

"So what's your problem? You're not breaking promises to either of them, it's not like you're engaged or anything. And _dating_ doesn't necessarily mean_ sex_, right? Unless the whole casual-dating thing is making you feel worse rather than better, in which case you should probably take a step back."

"Funny, I was thinking the same thing." I stared into my margarita. "I'm going out with Edward tomorrow because he's obviously looking forward to it, and maybe I'll get to know him a little bit better. I mean, Jasper is his best friend, so he can't be _all _bad."

She beamed at me. "Right, and plus you'll see him again at our eventual wedding, so let's keep it from being awkward. But you can't tell me that you're going out with him _just_ to get to know him better."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, he's cute. Okay, gorgeous and sexy. And he's pretty funny and charming when he stops thinking with his dick. I can't even say that he was a rude jerk for not calling, considering I guess I could have called _him_."

"I was wondering when you were going to admit that."

"You could have suggested it." I scowled at her and she gave me an angelic look back.

"Had I known that he was occupying your mind so much, I would have."

"He was occupying it quite a bit until I met Carlisle, yeah."

"Hold the thoughts about Carlisle for a minute, back to the other sexy guy you're dating. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I suppose it's a chicks-before-dicks thing."

I giggled. "Explain, please?"

"So I actually had a mini-conversation with Edward when he called to get your number. And he was…" She paused and a thoughtful look came over her face. "Surprisingly emo. I mean, it's not like I know him at all, but Jasper talks about him all the time, so I almost feel like I do. And the guy I talked to yesterday was _not_ the same guy I've heard all about from either of you."

"Okay…" I said slowly.

"Granted I get a lot through Jasper's best friend filter, so my perception might have been skewed a little. But he seemed so…nervous, so _desperate_ to see you again."

My eyebrows shot up. "Desperate?"

"Poor choice of words," Alice amended hastily. "Not desperate. Just a lot more anxious than I would have expected."

"Umm…normally I would demand to know every word he said. But somehow I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Probably not." Alice swirled her drink. "And I'm not sure it would be a good idea to tell you. Get to know him for yourself and see what you think after tomorrow night. And stop over-thinking things, you're dating again and I know it's been awhile, but you're not doing anything wrong. Enjoy yourself instead of acting like you're facing a firing squad."

"And then I'll be out of town for four days, so it'll give me time to think. Although thinking isn't always fun either. I mean, what if I'm just not cut out for casual dating? What if I can only do serious relationships? That's kinda fucked up, isn't it?"

I expected another snappy reply, but to my surprise, Alice had a serious look on her face. "I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all answer to that. Look at Jasper and I, we hit it off immediately and I'm already thinking about having his babies." She laughed when I choked on my tequila and rolled her eyes. "Not literally, silly. But it's more a matter of meeting someone and it's just that _connection_ that makes the decision for you. There's no thought or question to it, it just is. Do you feel that way about either of them right now?"

I thought about her question for a long time before answering. "Honestly, Alice, I don't know. I really don't know."

"In that case, think of it as narrowing down the playing field. You have two ridiculously-sexy men after you, don't make them any promises you can't keep and use the time to figure out what's best for _you_."

"Huh." I squinted at her suspiciously. "Alice, tell me the truth. Are you Team Edward or Team Carlisle here?"

"Neither," she replied promptly. "I'm Team Bella all the way, hon. No Regrets, remember?" She lifted her half-empty glass and clinked it against mine, and I managed a weak grin back.

"No Regrets."

xoxoxoxoxo

Intentions were all well and good, but it didn't change the fact that I was a nervous wreck an hour before Edward was due to arrive. Carlisle had sent me another bouquet of flowers that afternoon, a cheerful display of sunflowers this time, along with a funny e-mail about the inevitable last-minute problems that were cropping up at his new office. Something about LAN cables, and I promised to drop by to see if I could help as soon as I got back from Jacksonville.

I had replied to his e-mail and was indulging myself in a few favorite memories of our night together, when I looked at the time and realized that I needed to start getting ready for my date with Edward. And _that_ was when the major butterflies started.

Rationalizing with myself didn't help. Neither did the glass of wine that Alice brought me before perching on the edge of the bathtub, watching me with curious eyes.

"Okay, so you're nervous. I get that. But you look fabulous, and I can guarantee without giving away my sources that Edward is looking forward to tonight just as much as I _think_ you are."

"Ugh," I grunted, trying to apply mascara without jabbing myself in the eye.

"God, Bella, if I didn't love you so much, I'd slap you right now. You have yet another date with a gorgeous guy. Just a date. What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing," I moaned, capping the mascara and dropping it onto the vanity. "I just can't shake this feeling that I'm _cheating_ or something. I told Carlisle I was busy all day today and couldn't talk to him, and yet here I am ready to go out with another guy…"

Alice cocked an eyebrow at me. "I'm starting to think you're right. Maybe you aren't cut out for the casual dating thing."

"Not helpful," I snapped, running through the waves of my hair with trembling fingers. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."

She sighed and stood as the doorbell rang. "That'll be Jasper. Just remember, it's not like you're sneaking out to cheat on your husband or something, and just because you guys bumped uglies once doesn't mean you have to do it again. Try to enjoy yourself, order something expensive off the menu, and think of it as a sociological experiment…like you're trying to see past Edward's playboy image. If you need a reason to bail, sneak off to the bathroom and call me. Okay?"

"Okay," I whispered as she practically skipped out of the room. Easy for her to say…I was only half-convinced that she'd been kidding when she'd said she was ready to have Jasper's babies.

What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe Alice was right…maybe the casual dating thing just wasn't in my genetic makeup. Although give me mind-blowing sex and I was fine with it…

I scowled at myself in the mirror. I hadn't done anything wrong. I wasn't hurting anyone. I wasn't cheating. I was just doing the same thing that young single people everywhere were doing…exploring their options and living their lives. Somehow I felt like the equation was lopsided, though…I was trying to explore my options, but the men in question seemed to be quite a bit more serious about _me_.

My jaw dropped as that thought hit me, and I realized _that_ was the whole imbalance that was throwing me off-kilter.

I was dating because I should. I was dating because it was what people my age did before they found their soul mate and fell in love. I was dating more than one guy because, at the moment, committing to any one guy again so quickly would probably be hazardous to my health, to say the least. The fact that the two guys in question were both unbelievably sexy wasn't bad for my ego or libido either.

Carlisle had made it fairly clear, even without spelling it out, that he was already in a more serious place than I could allow myself to be. It was obvious in the way his blue eyes followed me, the gentle touches that were more like a lover's caress, even his concern for my well-being that he put before anything else. I'd have to be blind to have not seen the disappointment in his eyes when I'd told him that I couldn't promise something that I couldn't give.

Even Edward, for our lack of more meaningful interaction, was evidently taking our date more seriously than I ever would have believed. Gone was the cocksure playboy, even on the phone, and in his place was a slightly unsure and maybe even nervous man. I would have laughed a few weeks ago if anyone had told me that Edward Masen could sound so sweet and earnest about anything that didn't lead directly into his date's panties…but now I wasn't sure.

Jesus, no wonder I felt like I was cheating on my husband. This would have been a thousand times easier if Carlisle and Edward were on the same page as I was when it came to expectations.

_And what page are you on, exactly?_ I asked myself silently, staring into the mirror.

I didn't know.

A slight wave of nausea churned my stomach. If someone had demanded that I explain my feelings for Carlisle, and for Edward, and for myself, and for the whole complicated situation I'd put myself in, I'd be screwed. Why couldn't they have made it a little easier for me? Why couldn't Carlisle have been slightly less perfect, or Edward more of an asshole?

_Are you actually complaining about these two guys being too perfect to choose between? God, you suck._

I heard the doorbell ring faintly and I shut my eyes for a moment, pulling in a long deep breath through my nose. A date, it was just a date. A date that might bring a lot of clarity to the situation. Maybe Edward would show up with that cocky smirk and a pocketful of condoms, and make the whole thing a lot more clear for me.

_Please don't let him be an asshole_.

I squelched that voice deep inside of me and carefully pulled the brown waves of hair over my shoulder, giving myself a last once-over. _Don't talk yourself into regretting this_, I thought fiercely as I pulled open the bathroom door. _This is not the Paris Peace Conference, this is not a matter of life or death. Go out, have fun, then go to Jacksonville and get your head screwed on straight. _

I grimaced and looked down at myself as I grabbed the clutch off my dresser. I'd protested the dress that Alice had picked out for me, a slinky emerald-green cocktail dress that clung like wet paint and covered about as much, but I couldn't deny that it looked good. Hopefully Edward hadn't planned on something low-key, like a Marlins game or something.

The low rumble of male voices and Alice's piping tones hit my ears as I took another deep breath and stepped out of my bedroom, carefully shutting the door behind me. I could hear Edward and Jasper talking in the living room, so I tugged on my dress and licked my lips as I stepped around the corner. They were sitting on the couch with their backs to me, but Edward's face was slightly in profile and…

Oh my God…

He looked good. Better than good. Sex on legs. Sex with ruffled bronze hair and a bouquet of flowers crumpled almost in half by a grip that looked like it could bend steel. Edward Masen would probably look good no matter the situation, but at the moment, he looked like a movie star. Holy shit.

I swallowed dryly, feeling like my throat was closing up. "Hi…"

He jumped up immediately and those piercing green eyes locked with mine. I looked down almost as a nervous reflex, and then peeked at him again; he was still staring at me with his full lips slightly parted. Lips that I'd…oh God. I dropped my gaze back to the carpet.

I could feel him approaching more than I saw or heard it, sensed the heat from his body as he came to a stop in front of me, so close that I could feel the soft puff of air against my skin as he let out a long breath. "Bella?"

_Oh my God, Swan, get a grip! He's going to think you're crazy!_

"Bella, look at me," he urged nervously, and I finally lifted my eyes to meet his. A relieved grin immediately broke across his face, and he hesitantly lifted a hand to touch my cheek. "You look so beautiful. Thank you for agreeing to see me, I promise I'll try not to screw up."

Guilt hit me hard and fast. Maybe I really _had_ been too hard on him. "I just want you to be yourself, Edward. And if I've given you any other impression, I'm truly sorry."

His fingers lightly skimmed my arm. "I'm trying to be myself, Bella. I just get so paranoid that you won't like the real me, that I do anything I can think of to impress you."

For a moment I was unable to think of a suitable response to such an honest statement, so I buried my nose in the flowers he'd brought me. Alice whisked them away before pulling me into a tight hug and whispering in my ear.

"Have fun, and stop worrying. Dates are supposed to be fun, try to focus on enjoying yourself, okay?"

I gave her a weak grin and she smiled back encouragingly before tugging me over to Edward and putting my hand in his. He squeezed it carefully. "Is this okay?"

Déjà vu, carried on a sudden wave of arousal, surprised me for a moment. Hearing his voice ask that question…three simple words he'd uttered more than once in our one night together…my knees almost buckled. It brought that night of ecstasy roaring back to me in excruciating detail, and I barely trusted myself to nod in response to his question.

We made our way to the door, stopped only when Alice muttered something that appeared to be a death threat into Edward's ear, based on the way his hand drifted involuntarily to cover his crotch. Alice could be pretty scary when she chose to be, and a little bubble of amusement made the corner of my mouth quirk up.

We didn't say anything else as we approached his Mercedes, and it wasn't until he slammed shut the door he'd just started to open for me that I jumped, startled, meeting his green eyes again.

"Shit, I'm sorry." He looked absolutely freaked-out, and I wondered briefly what in the world Alice had actually threatened him with. "Bella, I need to know what you're thinking."

I gaped at him in surprise for a moment before responding. I certainly couldn't tell him yet that I'd been having flashbacks to our night of passion together, so I went with a safer explanation. "I'm thinking that…even though I'm a little peeved at you for not calling me and assuming I'd be the kind of girl to have no strings sex with you, I also realize that I _did_ have no strings sex with you, and I shouldn't be so judgmental when you couldn't possibly know what kind of girl I really am."

Relief flickered across his worried features before he grabbed my hand and placed it gently against his chest. "But Bella I do know, I was an idiot for suggesting that open invitation bullshit. It's just…I don't develop feelings, okay? You have completely turned my world upside down and I've spent the past three weeks denying every lingering thought I've had about you. In the park…I acted like an arrogant asshole because I was too freaked out to tell you the truth."

Whoa…this had gone from zero to sixty in about three seconds flat. My fingers curled reflexively and crushed the expensive material of his dress shirt in my fist. "What's the truth?" I asked hesitantly.

His emerald eyes took on a look of fierce determination. "The truth is that I have no idea what I'm doing, but I've ached since the moment I woke up and you weren't there. The truth is that I've never had the urge to pursue a girl the way I _need_ to pursue you. It's not about sex, Bella…it's about _you_."

Dear God, had every man in the world gone completely batshit crazy overnight? Or had I accidentally sprayed myself with pheromones instead of perfume? I wasn't conceited enough to think I was such hot stuff that my dates were practically declaring their undying devotion to me…but once again, here I was. I was the luckiest bitch in the entire world to find herself in such an awkward situation.

Edward was still nervously babbling about something, and I nodded automatically to whatever he said, desperately trying to think of a safe topic that would make him lighten up a little before I had a full-on freak-out. "Our hands fit perfectly together," I blurted out suddenly, and Edward appeared puzzled before his face lit up in a genuine smile.

The mood between us lightened considerably after that, and Edward drove us to a swanky new restaurant downtown, coming around the car to immediately capture my hand in his after the valet opened my door. He had relaxed into an almost completely different person since we'd steered away from any mention of past mistakes, and for the first time I was getting to see the real Edward Masen, not the cocky playboy. And as charming as the playboy had been, Edward's real personality was much more so.

We were immediately whisked over to a small private table in the corner of the dining room, next to a window that overlooked the twinkling lights of the city below us and Biscayne Bay beyond. It was a breathtaking view.

Edward grinned at me from across the table, the muted ambient lighting and flickering candle on our table making him look even sexier. It reminded me of the last time I'd seen him with the lights out…_NO Bella, no no no!_ I quickly tried to squelch the thoughts of Edward's face in the dark with the list of questions I'd thought up earlier.

"So tell me about Taylor."

Edward chuckled a little. "She's my baby girl. I got her at the shelter I work at, some asshole had left a cardboard box of puppies on the front doorstep and the office staff found them there first thing in the morning. They were all really sick, only two of them ended up making it, and Taylor was one of them. I was examining her when she just kinda looked up at me with those big brown eyes, and I fell in love. I brought her home as soon as she was well enough."

I cocked my head in confusion. "Examining her?"

"Yeah, I'm a volunteer vet for the Miami Humane Society."

"DVM…" I murmured, remembering the nametag I'd seen in his apartment.

"Doctor of Veterinary Medicine, yep. I guess you could say I found my calling pretty early on."

"So is it your full-time job?" I was genuinely fascinated now, I would never in a million years have guessed that he was a vet by day, playboy by night.

"Yeah, when my dad, well, my stepdad died, he left me with a pile of money. After I finished the veterinary medicine program, I did a year internship with the Humane Society. And when I saw how strapped for cash they always are, and how hard it is to keep a good qualified staff, I figured they needed the money more than I did, so I signed on as a full-time volunteer vet. I mean, they pay me a dollar a month or something like that for legal reasons, but that's it."

"Wow, Edward, that's amazing," I commented quietly. He shrugged.

"Nah, it's just my job. And hey, it brought me Taylor, so I was obviously meant to be there."

"I've never had a pet," I mused. "My ex was allergic to dogs and he hated cats."

"If you decide to adopt one, come down to the shelter. Or if you want to do a trial-run, we always need foster homes."

"I might do that," I replied. "But start me off with something small like a hamster, okay?"

Edward laughed and just then we were interrupted by the waiter, who took our orders and then melted back into the dimness surrounding our table.

"So…tell me about this ex of yours."

I froze. "Um, why?"

"Curiosity. You're such a mystery to me, Bella, and I can't stop wondering about you. Tell me everything."

"There's nothing really to tell." I dropped my hand to play with the black napkin on my lap. "I was born in Washington, then my parents divorced not long afterwards and my mom moved to Jacksonville with me. I went back to live with my dad in the middle of my junior year of high school."

"Whoa, that had to be rough." I looked up and met his sympathetic gaze.

"It could have been worse, I suppose. My dad is a good guy, and I met Alice when I moved back there."

"So why did you move in the first place?"

"My stepdad was a minor-league baseball player, so he did a lot of traveling around. My mom had to stay home with me, of course, and I knew she'd rather be with him, so I offered to go stay with Charlie."

"Wait, what?" He shook his head slowly. "Your mom was unhappy because she had to stay home with her _daughter_ instead of following her husband around?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Didn't it cross her mind that part of being a parent is putting aside her own happiness for the well-being of her kid? That she should have sucked it up until you went off to college? That it shouldn't have been _your_ responsibility to make things easier for her?"

My jaw dropped. "Edward, I…"

He raked his hand back through his hair. "I'm sorry, Bella, I shouldn't have gone off like that…it's just kinda personal to me. My mom was one of those self-absorbed types, she was always too busy spending my stepdad's money to even notice me, unless she was showing me off as her trophy son or driving me back to prep school. It was always about her, about her life, about what was convenient for _her_. When it comes to dodging responsibility, she's a pro."

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "Do you have any contact with her now?"

His gaze swung to stare out the window into the rapidly-darkening night. "I get a birthday and Christmas card each year, sometimes a phone call when she has that once-a-year pang of guilt. Screw her, I don't need her. I've got my friends and my dog. Oh, and my real dad, he lives here in Miami and we're pretty tight."

Edward's jaw was still tense as he fell silent, and I quickly tried to think of a more neutral topic. "My dad was the chief of police," I offered. "That pretty much killed any social life I might have had in high school."

The tension melted away from him a little and he cracked a small smile. "Yeah, I bet. You probably didn't get invited to many keg parties, huh?"

"None," I admitted. "And forget dating, the two guys that actually managed to work up the nerve to take me out on a first date never asked for a second. Charlie had a bad habit of always cleaning his guns when they came to pick me up."

"So who was this ex that was allergic to dogs and hated cats?"

I scowled, wishing that he'd forgotten his earlier question. "I moved in with him right after I graduated from college. Things didn't work out, he cheated, I moved here. End of story."

"Oh, so this isn't the guy you had a date with last Friday?"

"No," I snipped back, picking up my drink. "But _that_ is none of your business."

"Aww, come on Bella." He leaned across the table and gave me the panty-dropping smile. "Throw me a bone here. Tell me that you had a lousy time on Friday and that you were thinking of me the whole time, and that you're having more fun with me than you did with him."

I choked on my martini and then gave him a filthy glare as I pressed my napkin to my mouth. _This_ was exactly why I hadn't wanted Edward to know that I was dating anyone else, it was none of his business and I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of prying into my budding relationship with Carlisle. "You're approaching asshole territory, Edward. First warning."

"I'm right though, aren't I?" That smug grin was back, and in my irritation I blurted out the first thing that came into my head.

"No, as a matter of fact I had a _great_ time with him. And I'll probably see him again."

The grin disappeared off his face as quickly as if I'd slapped him and his forehead wrinkled in consternation. "What? Why?"

I dropped my napkin back on my lap and sighed. "Look, Edward, I'm sorry I said that. Yes, I'm having a great time with you…or I was until just a minute ago. No, I am not going to discuss any other guys I may or may not be seeing right now, just as I wouldn't discuss _you_ with _them_. I'm not grilling you about any other women you've dated or had sex with in the last month, am I?"

He looked guilty and I knew immediately I'd hit a nerve. "Well, no…"

"My point exactly. Look, this isn't exactly the kind of conversation I'd planned on having with you on our date."

"Me neither," he murmured, before taking a deep breath. "Let's talk about something else."

"Tell me more about Taylor," I said quickly, seizing back upon the one topic that obviously made him so happy.

"She can speak English."

I looked at him skeptically. "Ooookay…"

"No, seriously. She's so damn smart it's almost scary. She figured out early on what 'walk' and 'ball' meant, so I started spelling them out instead. Then she figured out what w-a-l-k and b-a-l-l meant, so I've started saying them in French, but I think she's on to me."

A giggle bubbled up and I automatically put my hand over my mouth to smother it before trusting myself to respond. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope, and next time she sees you, I'll prove it to you." Edward reached across the table, capturing my hand and winding my fingers around his. "She's a really good judge of character too. She loves Jazz and Emmett, but she can't stand my skeezy-ass neighbor. She growls every time she sees him."

"What did she think about me?" I teased.

Edward gave me a lazy half-grin. "She liked you a _lot_."

"I'll have to remember to bring her a squeaky toy or something," I murmured, noticing the waiter approaching with our entrées from the corner of my eye.

"Oh, she'll love you forever then. Toys are her crack."

I gave him a quick smile before dropping my eyes to my plate and digging immediately into my meal. I'd been too nervous earlier to eat lunch, and the whitefish I'd ordered tasted absolutely divine. I'd devoured half of it before I looked up and caught Edward's intense green eyes on me.

"Sorry," I set down my fork and grabbed my napkin, dabbing lightly at my lips. "I didn't eat much today, I guess I didn't realize how hungry I was until just now."

He huffed out a small laugh. "Don't apologize for having an appetite, Bella. To the contrary, it's nice to see a woman enjoy something other than just a martini."

"Umm…yeah." I wasn't sure how else to respond to that, so I picked my fork up again. "How is your dinner?"

He'd ordered duck breast in Grand Marnier sauce, and instead of answering he speared a bite on his fork and offered it to me across the table. "Try it and tell me what you think."

"I've never had duck," I confessed, but his fork didn't waver before my lips as he gave me a little nod.

"Try it."

I opened my mouth and he gently slipped the fork between my lips, resting the morsel of meat on my tongue, waiting until I'd pressed it against the roof of my mouth before he withdrew. "Do you like it?"

Shutting my eyes for a moment, I let the unfamiliar flavors flood my mouth. The sauce was sweet, the duck was moist but crispy. I chewed slowly, savoring the new tastes before I swallowed and smiled at him. "It's delicious."

"It's one of my favorites." His green eyes dropped from my gaze to my lips. "Duck is hard to do well, and unfortunately I'm not much of a chef. My pop…my biological father…he's a great cook, but unfortunately I didn't inherit any of those genes."

I shook my head a little. "I like to think I can cook, but I wouldn't have the first idea about what to do with a duck."

"Well, first you have to pull out the feathers…" he drawled, and I rolled my eyes at him. Our playful banter continued through dinner, and I would have been a complete liar if I'd said that the chemistry between us wasn't palpable as well. I'd relaxed completely, my earlier anxiety completely forgotten by the time the waiter approached us and inquired if we'd like dessert.

Edward declined for both of us, asked for the bill, and then turned to me. "I was thinking we could go for a walk through Bayfront Park since it's such a nice night. There's a great little ice cream shop there that we could stop at."

"The ice cream sounds great," I said immediately. "I don't know about the walk, though."

"Why not?"

I quirked an eyebrow at him and stuck my foot in its stiletto out to the side of the table where he could see it. "I didn't wear my walking shoes."

Edward's face fell. "Damn, I didn't even think of that."

"Can we still get ice cream?"

He nodded and accepted the black leather folder from the waiter, gave it a quick glance, and then slipped a few bills inside, setting it down on the table. "You bet, the ice cream shop has a nice view of the bay, we can just sit and talk if you want."

I smiled as he stood gracefully and held out a hand to help me up. We retrieved his car from the valet and drove the short distance to the park that sat directly on the bay. The little ice cream shop was a fair distance from the parking lot, and my feet were already aching by the time we got there, but I didn't breathe a word of complaint. Edward had obviously put a lot of thought into the evening, and it was nice to see him relaxing without the playboy front that he seemed to otherwise project almost automatically.

Now it was easier to understand why a guy as sweet and unassuming as Jasper could be best friends with _this_ Edward. He really was charming: funny, thoughtful, and definitely sexy as hell. He rested his hand gently on my lower back as we stepped up to the order window and I asked the employee if their ice cream was safe for people with peanut allergies. She confirmed that it was and promised to use a separate scoop for mine. Edward looked at me curiously.

"You're allergic to peanuts?"

"Yeah, long boring story, but I can go into anaphylactic shock if I'm exposed to them in a large enough amount."

"Do you carry an Epi-Pen?"

I flushed guiltily. I still hadn't replaced my expired one, despite Carlisle's firm insistence that I do so. I'd have to remember to do it before Alice found out and had my head. "Yeah, I do. Or I can just take Benadryl if it's not too severe of a reaction." I accepted my cup of strawberry ice cream as Edward took his black cherry and paid for both of us.

He reached down and grabbed my hand, tugging me over towards a picnic table that overlooked the water. Smiling impishly, he stepped on the bench and sat down on the table top, then patted the space next to him. "Come on, you'll have a better view from up here."

I looked down at my tight dress. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, come on, grab my hand and you'll be fine."

I somehow managed it, grasping my ice cream, maneuvering in my stilettos, and trying to clamber up without flashing Edward a view of my lace thong. Once I'd settled, I reached down and pulled the shoes off, wincing as the leather rubbed over a budding blister.

"I'm sorry about the walk," Edward apologized again. "I really should have told you to bring more comfortable shoes, but I obviously suck at the thoughtfulness thing."

"No, it's okay, really," I disputed. "It's not something that you would automatically think of, if you're not in the habit of taking moonlit strolls with girls in heels."

"Yeah, I guess I'm not." He stared down into his cup of ice cream for a long moment. "How am I doing, by the way?"

"What?"

"I meant what I said earlier…that I was afraid you wouldn't like the real me. I've been trying to _be_ the real me all night, trying not to be the douche that I obviously come across as."

I blinked, taken aback by the vulnerability in his voice. "I like the _real_ you a lot, Edward."

He gave me a weak grin. "I've just…I've never done the dating thing. I'm paranoid that I'm going to say or do the wrong thing to fuck all this up, and you're too special to lose just because I'm a moron."

My brow wrinkled. "Why do you always talk about yourself that way? Even before last Friday, I didn't think you were a douche, or a moron, or a fuck-up. You were cocky and kinda full of yourself, but I never thought that you were a bad guy. Even when I was pissed at you for not calling…which is just as much my fault as yours, by the way."

"I don't know…" He rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. "I mean, I love my friends and my family, but when it comes to women…well, I don't have to spell it out for you, Bella."

"No," I agreed quietly.

"I don't know how to date. I don't know how to treat a woman past a one-night-stand. I don't know what I'm allowed to do or not allowed to do, and this is a whole new ballgame for me."

I set down my half-empty cup and reached over to squeeze his hand. "I'd say you're doing pretty well so far. Don't feel like you have to try so hard. I've had a great time tonight."

"Yeah, me too." He squeezed my hand in return and then laced his fingers between mine. "Listen, I really want to ask something that will probably make me a jerk, but just remember I'm new at this and cut me some slack, okay?"

I bumped his knee with mine. "As long as it's not too obnoxious or blatantly offensive, I'll let you slide."

"Okay…what you said earlier, about that guy you went out with on Friday…are you really going to see him again?"

Oh boy…and here it was again, the awkward conversation I'd already had with Carlisle and should have known would come up with Edward too. I sighed. "It's okay, Edward, I don't mind you asking. Let me make this long story short, okay? My ex, the one I left in Seattle…it was a five year relationship that ended with him cheating on me and then throwing me out of what I thought was _our_ condo. It hurt, a lot. It's not something that I'm completely over…not because I want him back, but because I don't want to be exclusively committed to anyone for a while. It has nothing to do with you, or how much I like you. It has everything to do with me."

"I guess I can understand that," he replied slowly. "Although it sucks that your asshole ex is making you feel that way."

"I'm trying to think of it as a good thing…I've been a people-pleaser my whole life. I've always had other people to think of, to be accountable to. Now for the first time, I'm only accountable to myself. I want to enjoy that for a little while, to do what I want with no regrets."

"_Are_ you enjoying it?"

I laughed and leaned against him, grateful for his body heat as a cooler breeze blew off the water. He smelled sinfully delicious too. "Let me put it this way, Edward. The old Bella wouldn't have gone to bed with you that first night we met."

"Huh," he said, and then grinned widely. "I guess that's a yes."

"It's a yes. And I mean it when I say I'm having a great night with you. But don't expect me to make any promises I can't keep, okay?"

He shook his head, pouting a little. "Well ain't this a bitch? The playboy is trying to settle down, and the commitment-junkie is determined to date around. Talk about a weird turn of affairs."

We both laughed again and then sat quietly for a while, watching people stroll past. I shivered slightly as another cool breeze puffed off the water, and Edward put his arm around me. "I could sit here all night with you, but I don't want you to freeze. Want me to take you home?"

"Yeah, that would probably be a good idea." I slipped my feet back into the stilettos, grimacing as I started pulling the straps back into place.

"Hey, leave those off," Edward objected, putting a warm hand over my foot. "I'm responsible for beating them up, I'll carry you back to the car."

I rolled my eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, this dress is a little tight for a piggyback ride."

"Who said anything about carrying you on my back?" He grinned and, before I realized what he was doing, pulled me towards him and scooped me into his arms. "See? Problem solved. Now hold onto your shoes, princess."

"Edward, put me down!" I shrieked, clutching my stilettos as he started back through the park, holding me securely to his hard chest. "People are staring!"

"They probably think it's romantic. Since you're not screaming bloody murder or beating me with your little purse or anything, I'm obviously not kidnapping you. And you weigh next to nothing, so pipe down and enjoy the free ride."

"I could walk barefoot…"

"You will _not_ walk barefoot through a Miami public park," he countered, still striding easily along. "Especially not in the dark."

I huffed but didn't argue any further, and we were back at the parking lot surprisingly fast. Edward quickly inspected the asphalt beside his Mercedes before gently setting me down and fumbling in his pocket for his keys, then opened the door and settled me inside. After getting in on his side, he started the car and then reached over to grab my hand, then held it the entire way back to my house.

The lights were all off and Alice's car wasn't in the driveway, so I guessed out loud that she was probably over at Jasper's place. I climbed out of the Mercedes and wiggled my toes against the concrete, still carrying my shoes and clutch. Edward came around the front of the car and reached out to take my arm.

"If I walk you to the door, would you consider our date a success?"

"Our date was definitely a success, you silly man. You're not being graded on it or anything."

"Aren't I?" he queried as I fished my house key out of the clutch and stuck it in the lock.

"Of course not."

"So it's a pass or fail kind of thing?"

I shook my head. "Give it up, Edward, and stop trying so hard, remember? Now give me a kiss goodnight and I'll give you a gold star for effort."

His eyebrows drew together. "Oh…I thought maybe I could come in?"

"I'm sure you did," I said pertly. "But this was our first real date. You get a kiss on the doorstep and an invitation to call me again sometime."

His eyelids drooped a little and he peeked at me through his thick eyelashes. "I'll take that."

Suppressing a giggle, I shut my eyes and pursed my lips up into a tight pucker for him to peck. When he didn't kiss me after a moment, I opened one eye and looked at him. He was staring intently at me, lips slightly parted, his green eyes dark.

"Bella…" he murmured, and in the next moment his hands were on my face, his fingers threading into my hair, and he was pulling me against his hot body for a kiss that was the culmination of all the sexual chemistry that had been building between us all night.

I moaned softly as he pushed me back against the door, his lips insistently parting mine, his hot tongue swiping across my lips before dipping into my mouth. He still tasted like cinnamon, just as I remembered from weeks before, and I willingly tilted my head back as he deepened the kiss. I was pinned between the door at my back and his hot hard body in front, and I couldn't help but moan again, louder this time, as his right hand left my face and swept down my body, settling against my hip.

"You didn't think I would leave without kissing you properly, did you?" he whispered against my wet lips, not giving me a chance to reply before he was devouring me again. I shuddered and then released my shoes and clutch, dropping them to the porch floor and raking my fingers into his hair.

"Edward…" I gasped when his lips left mine and began nibbling along my jawline.

"Are you sure you don't want to invite me in?" he asked silkily before licking my earlobe, and I whimpered. My body remembered his, responded to it, and for a moment the memory of the searing pleasure we'd experienced together almost crumbled my resolve. But I couldn't, not tonight, not again so soon.

My body stiffened a little as the thought went through my mind and Edward felt it, pulling back slightly to study my face. "Guess not, huh?"

"It's not because I don't want to," I said quietly. "It just wouldn't be a good idea this time."

He took a deep breath and then smiled, leaned forward, and placed the gentlest of kisses on my lips before stooping down to pick up my clutch and shoes, handing them over as I unlocked the front door. I flicked on the front hall light and turned to face him. "Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, Bella."

I shut the door carefully behind him, locked it, and then leaned back up against it.

I was so screwed…again.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

A/N:

Brits: Hey Kate, do you like porn?  
Kate: Why yes, Brits, I do like porn. Why do you ask?  
Brits: Well I'm not talking fake moan/money shot/ cheeseball-music porn. I'm talking lemony porn...starring our favorite Twilight crew?  
Kate: Wait, is there any other kind? Anyway, lemony porn starring our favorite Twilight crew is right up my alley. Does that have something to do with that wonderfully-evil look on your face?  
Brits: Actually I just had some bad seafood for lunch. But I think that since you like porn…and I like porn...and I KNOW our readers like porn, we should get together and start a new project....involving porn.  
Kate: You know, I think people might like that, considering you KNOW they're reading this twisted little tale for the porn first, plot second. Maybe we should just abandon the plot altogether?  
Brits: UMMM, how about we keep writing DLS with equal amounts of plot and porn, and leave the abandoned story lines for our new project....our project entitled.....  
Kate: MASTERPERV THEATRE! ***cues pretentious music with French horns blaring***  
Brits: That's right ladies. Our newest collaboration--Masterperv Theatre--will be a series of one-shots written by none other than my twin LazyKate and I. Any couple, anywhere, anyTHING will go, and believe me when I say that Kate and I will be putting our corrupted minds to the test.

Kate: Details will be cumming, er, coming soon. Along with the o/s stories that will make Larry Flynt blush. And hey, you know what else we should mention?!? That holiday we invented?  
Brits: OMG yes!! Porn Friday!!  
Kate: Of course, if you are following us on Twitter, you'd already know about Pornday. We're Brits23 and Lazykatevamp on Twitter, y'all, and we looooooove corrupting new followers.  
Brits: This is true. And make sure you put lazykate and brits23 on author alert, so you know when Masterperv Theatre is cumming...CRAP...coming! Jeez...  
Kate: S'okay bb. So anyway, also somewhat on the topic of porn...WHERE IS MAH DR. MCYUMMY?!?  
Brits: Who? I don't know who you are speaking of. All I can see is Playboyward, carrying Bella in his big strong arms to save her aching feet. ***swoooooon***  
Kate: **(aside)** Oh good, she forgot all about him...he's mine, mine, MINE!!!!!!!!!!!  
Brits: Wait wait wait, back the truck up, I remember now. STEP OFF BIOTCH! Dr. FuckMeNow will be back in full operation in the next chapter, along with a little snippet from Edward, cuz one is just not enough for me...  
Kate: Yeah yeah, we all know you're a multiple-gratification kind of gal. So come on everyone, leave us some sweet sweet love in your reviews, and we'll be back soon!!!!  
Brits: Stop by our Twilighted thread (www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=8305) so you can catch up on all the yummy PFach, RPatz pics....they're awful um, inspiring  
Kate: And by inspiring, she means "fodder for the ladies' spank-bank"  
Brits: Good Lord, twin...you see right through me. Ladies, leave us some lovin! It will encourage me to write really, really fast...just sayin'  
Kate: Believe me, it does. Ta-ta!


	8. Restless Minds

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

**Just a reminder, Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys!**

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

**CPOV**

I returned home from my office a little after ten p.m. on Wednesday evening, running through another torrential downpour that was typical for this time of year.

But now it only made me think of Bella…

_Sticky, smooth skin, gliding against mine._

_Her little mewls of pleasure that did nothing but heighten every sensation inside my body._

_Her eyes clenched, begging…her tongue wrapping around my name as she whimpered for more._

I was a well-rounded man. I'd evolved tremendously since my days of bedding the first random woman to bat her lashes at me. Bella's heart was pure and good; her smile bright and her mind hungry. These qualities were the foundation of my attraction to her. But learning how to play her body in the heat of passion, to know her intimately and to watch her writhe, to feel her come undone around me because of _my_ ministrations…it made my heart soar further than I ever thought possible.

I hadn't talked to her since Monday afternoon and apart from a few suggestive emails that were mainly concerning the website, our contact had remained null.

But now, with the rain pouring down against the windows of my home and the darkness amongst the walls weighing heavily around me, I couldn't help but need her with a strength I couldn't begin to comprehend.

I tossed my keys onto the counter and loosened my tie, walking into the bedroom and discarding my clothing into the hamper. I laid across the bed in my boxer briefs, sighing deeply and relaxing for the first moment of the day. There was so much to be done in order to be ready for business by Monday morning. While the stress was surmounting, I was still beyond excited to begin this new chapter of my life.

The grand opening party was scheduled for Friday evening-just two days away-and thankfully my receptionist Gladys had offered to take the reins on the gathering. Trying to fit the planning into my already jam-packed schedule would have been next to impossible.

Realistically I should have taken my first few moments of respite and gotten a much needed night's sleep. But as the storm raged on around me, thoughts of _her_ pounded over me like rain against the pavement.

_I needed more._

The clock on my cell display read ten thirty-two. I knew Bella was leaving the following day for a long weekend with her mother in Jacksonville, and it would be rude of me to call this late. No doubt she was already fast asleep, her eyes fluttering as she pulled her knees up against her body…her little feet tangled together as she slumbered.

At least that's how I remembered her. Bare and curled and snug against my chest…

Maybe I wasn't as evolved as I thought.

The phone rang four times as my stomach twisted in guilt. But when her sweet voice called out a gentle hello, a touch of huskiness laced within her melodic tone, I knew I had made the right decision.

"Hey, Bella," I murmured, my smile not easily contained as I turned to lay on my stomach. "Did I wake you?"

"Nope. I was actually packing for the weekend. I know, I'm a procrastinator," she chuckled.

"I'd say," I teased. "What time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"I was thinking late morning, after rush hour probably."

I nodded as a slightly loaded silence fell between us.

"Did you just get home?" she whispered.

"Yeah, just a bit ago." I couldn't stifle my yawn as she giggled on the other end of the line.

"You should get some sleep."

"I should," I agreed. "But my mind won't shut off."

"No?"

"No," I breathed.

Silence again.

"Well I'm sure you've got a lot to think about, what with the opening just days away."

I smiled softly. "That's not what keeps me up at night, sweetheart."

She exhaled noisily on the other end of the line, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up on end as I continued. "I can't smell you on my sheets anymore. It's disconcerting, to say the least."

"Carlisle-"

"What, Bella?" I murmured huskily, rising up on my elbows and hungry for the next words to leave her mouth.

"I'm afraid if I tell you what I'm thinking, you'll read too much into it. Just…tell me you know where I stand," she practically begged me.

It always came back to her not wanting to commit yet, a fact that I understood and was completely fine with. Did I want more? Of course I did. But that didn't mean I would move faster than she wanted to. When would she realize that?

"This is what I know. We met under unconventional circumstances. We clicked. We laughed. We meshed. And last weekend we gave into the attraction that was too prominent to fight. We're both adults here, and I know you want to take it slow. I want us to take as much time as you'd like. Expressing the way you feel isn't going to make me start picking out china patterns, Bella."

She laughed softly and sighed as she sorted through her thoughts. "I know. I just…sometimes I feel like I'm leading you on or something."

"The only way you'd be leading me on is if you truly didn't enjoy my company. Bella if you don't want to get to know me, romantically or otherwise, we can stop this at any time. Everything we are is entirely on your terms."

She groaned, sending tingling pulses straight toward the center of my body. "You're so understanding…how are you so damn _good_?"

I chuckled. "Depends on what the word 'good' is referring to, sweetheart."

I could almost hear her eyes roll. "It's refreshing to know that you have _some_ typical male tendencies," she teased.

"Yeah, you like a barbarian?" I asked deeply.

"Sometimes," she breathed.

The silence thickened even further between us.

"So now that you know I won't be sending out our wedding announcements, why don't we start over? I believe I said, 'I can't smell you on my sheets anymore.' Now tell me what you wanted to say."

She hesitated a moment before her sweet voice rang out slightly lower than normal. "I wanted to tell you that I missed the way your sheets felt against my skin…and your lips, your eyes, your hands, your…"

I swallowed thickly, a bright flash of lightning illuminating the dark room as I sat up on my bed, my eyes closing involuntarily. "Bella," I breathed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Let me come to you."

She moaned in the back of her throat. "I can't."

"You don't want me to?"

"God, that's not it at all," she whispered.

"Tell me."

Her voice was rough as she spoke. "This is so hard, Carlisle. I never expected this kind of thing to happen and I'm so confused. I don't want to hurt anybody."

"Hey," I murmured gently. "Don't you think I know how good you are, sweetheart?"

"It depends on what the word 'good' is referring to," she giggled softly, repeating my earlier words back to me and lightening the mood infinitesimally.

I smiled widely. "There's my girl. Now I'd _like_ you to tell me what's got you conflicted, but nothing you say is going to _hurt_ me, Bella. I just want to help you."

I listened to her elevated breathing for a long moment, waiting to find out what had her in such turmoil. I had a hunch about what it dealt with, which made my stomach sink.

Finally she spoke.

"You know I'm not ready to commit so soon after everything that happened with Jacob."

"I know," I whispered.

"I like you so much, Carlisle. But I need you to know that you aren't the only man I'm seeing right now."

"Okay," I murmured, my palm pressing against my suddenly constricted chest.

She chuckled humorlessly. "Look, it's not like I've got a of revolving door in my bedroom, okay? It's just…I don't want to discuss the other party involved; it wouldn't be fair to either one of you. Just like it wouldn't be fair if I were to meet with you tonight."

A million questions gathered on the tip of my tongue, but I pushed them all down. "I'm not even allowed to kiss you goodbye?"

She sighed. "Neither one of us would stop there, Carlisle. I've focused on everyone but myself for far too long and I just need to do what feels right. We need to keep it light until I can figure out what I truly want in my life. It's a lot to ask…from both of us. But I'm hoping we can try, because I don't want to lose you as a friend or whatever else we could potentially be in the future."

It was I who took my moment of silence this time, replaying her words in my mind and suppressing the questions that truly weren't my business. When she used the term 'other party,' it told me there was only one other man in her life, which was a bit of a relief.

_But what about last weekend?_

"This must be a relatively new development."

"Yeah, very," she whispered.

I breathed slowly through my nose, focusing on the facts. We had not known each other long, and even though my feelings for her were strong from the get-go, there was no harm in taking our time. If she needed to weigh her options, then I would stand by until she figured out what she wanted. I'd show her how a real man behaved by respecting her privacy in that aspect of her life and only focusing on what we were _together._

She was worth that.

"Thank you for telling me the truth," I breathed, running my hand over my face. "Obviously this…sucks for me. But that doesn't mean I don't understand your situation, Bella. I'm here, okay? I'll be here…as your friend, your lover, or however you need me, sweetheart."

She let out a shuddering sigh. "You are so amazing."

"I know, aren't I?" I deadpanned, lying on my back and staring up at the ceiling. "I still want to kiss you goodbye."

"Maybe you can kiss me hello when I get back…in a heavily populated area so we can keep our hormones in check," she smiled.

"Hmm…you over-estimate my restraint, Bella. You really think a crowd of people would stop me?"

She giggled. "My, you are a barbarian."

"Mostly I just like to take my sweet time." I ran my tongue along my bottom lip, reminiscing on how heavenly she tasted.

"I remember," she breathed.

I switched gears before we brought ourselves back to the very precarious ledge we were balancing upon.

"See, there are some perks to dating a more _mature _man."

Her laughter swelled my heart. "Oh come on, you can't have _that_ many years on me, Doctor Cullen. What, ten? Twelve?"

Shit. I thought back, realizing my exact age had never been brought up. Would this be an issue for her?

"A few more than that," I said quickly.

"Hmmm, do you qualify for AARP? Do you get the senior discount at the supermarket? Do you…ride a Rascal?" she gasped.

Her happy tone was infectious and I chuckled hard enough to make my stomach muscles ache. "Not quite, sweetheart. Don't book the nursing home just yet."

"Well then, tell me."

I hesitated a moment before finally acquiescing. "Forty-five," I muttered.

"For real?"

I winced. "For real…is that a problem?"

She hummed in contemplation for a minute-the longest minute of my life, until she started laughing lightly. "Of _course_ it's not a problem. So you're older than me…we still have plenty of things in common, and everything seems to be in uh, working order."

I smiled widely. "Oh I can assure you, everything is fully functional…for repetitive usage if you so desire."

"Yeah?" she breathed.

"Absolutely."

She hummed softly, a few errant giggles fighting their way through. "You don't look forty-five," she whispered.

"No?"

"Not at all. You're so…"

I chuckled. "So _what_?"

I could just picture her sweet face blushing bright red. "You're so _hot_."

I laughed obnoxiously, rolling onto my stomach quickly.

"Shut up!" she growled, trying to sound annoyed but failing miserably.

"Don't worry, I already know that you think I'm hot. The first time we met will forever be ingrained in my mind."

"Ugh, I hate you," she grumbled.

"No you don't," I smiled.

"No," she said seriously, trailing off. "I don't."

I lowered my voice significantly as I spoke. "I should let you finish packing so you can get some sleep."

"I guess," she murmured. "I'll probably just finish up tomorrow morning."

This time our silence was filled with a soft yearning that neither one of us could give into. I groaned quietly as she spoke. "What will you do?"

My eyes widened. "What will I do when I get off the phone with you?"

"Yeah."

"Probably try to sleep." I laid my head against the pillow. "And definitely think about you."

"What about me?" she whispered sinfully.

"Parasailing," I grinned.

She laughed. "Is that all?"

"No," I growled.

"Tell me."

God, this woman had the power to make me so incredibly, painfully hard.

"A little curiosity never hurt anyone," I grinned.

"Not true, it killed a cat."

I smiled warmly, deciding to give in. "The way your entire body feels pressed against mine. Smooth skin, deep breaths…your long, soft hair falling against my cheek."

"Carlisle?"

"Hmm?"

"When I said you were 'so damn good'- I meant it in so many different ways," she breathed. "So many…"

I chuckled almost nervously. "Do you have any idea what you do to me, Bella? Any idea at all?"

I could practically see her coy little grin as she hummed into the receiver. "Maybe when we get off the phone, we could think about everything…_together_."

_Does she mean what I think she means?_

I swallowed thickly, pulling the comforter up over my body and closing my eyes. "You wanna do this?" I breathed heavily, cradling the phone closer to my mouth.

She released a shuddering sigh. "Mmhmm…I do."

"I want to see you as soon as you get back," I murmured deeply, resting my hand over my stomach and aching for some relief a bit further down.

"Okay, but we can't…"

"I know we can't, sweetheart. I just need to see you. I've missed you quite a bit this week. We can do whatever you'd like, all right?"

She laughed. "Ah, we most certainly _cannot_ do whatever I'd like."

My heart warmed immediately. "When we get off the phone we can."

"And we will," she murmured seductively.

My face contorted for a moment, suddenly becoming overwhelmed by the woman on the other end of the line. "It's all for you, Bella. Everything," I whispered so gently.

She sighed deeply. "I know, Carlisle. I'll call you when I get back. See you when we get off the phone?" she questioned playfully, making my cock twitch viciously inside my boxer briefs.

"You can count on it," I breathed, finally letting my hand slip down to apply pressure against my aching erection.

She forced a playful yawn. "Well I'm downright exhausted…I've got to get to bed straight away."

I hummed appreciatively. "I already am."

Her groan elicited my own. "I'm going to hang up now, Carlisle," she said breathlessly. "Have a good night."

My smile was crooked and somewhat arrogant as I heard the bed shift beneath her. "Sweet dreams, Bella."

A moment later we disconnected our call, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I closed my eyes and imagined what she was doing at that exact moment.

The air was suddenly stifling in my room, the central air doing nothing for my overheated skin. One conversation, one suggestion of distant intimacy with that woman and I was a trembling mass of need.

Just like that.

I slowly lowered my boxers and tossed them beside the bed, throwing the covers off of me and letting the air hit my naked body.

Bella.

Bella, Bella, Bella.

She was every thought, every throb of my body. She was my fingers drifting down to wrap around my cock. She was the groan from my lips and the clench of my eyes.

She was everything.

I ignored the pull of disappointment at the situation she revealed to me tonight, only focusing on the fact that at that very moment, she was writhing amongst her sheets, thinking about me as she pleasured herself.

I pushed my fist tightly up my shaft, squeezing the head between my thumb and forefinger as I groaned, thinking about how exactly she was making herself come for me.

Her fingers deep inside her.

A vibrator, moving slowly in and out of her wet body.

God, it was too much…the memories of our one steamy night together mixed with thoughts of her hand between her legs nearly sent me directly over the edge.

I swirled my thumb over the head of my cock as I worked myself faster, spreading the wetness from my tip down along my throbbing skin. I moaned as I envisioned her riding me, soft and hot and trembling, taking my cock inside of her and squeezing me with her wet heat.

I could taste that very heat, the way her tender skin pulsed against my tongue and begged for more, her very essence wetting my mouth as I scrambled to take everything from the beautiful girl I couldn't get enough of.

_So good…so unbelievably good…_

Was she coming yet?

Were her eyes clenched tightly as she whimpered for me, shaking in the need for my touch between her thighs? How hard were her pink nipples…how badly were they aching for my mouth?

It was stifling in my bedroom, the sweat gathering on my brow as I arched against the mattress, stroking my cock fervently like I longed for Bella to do. She elicited so much inside of me. She stimulated my mind, my heart, my body…she fulfilled me in every single way imaginable, and it was just so goddamn _good._

I whispered her name heavily into the air surrounding me as my head thrashed from side to side, my grip tightening around my cock as my fingers flew up and down my engorged flesh. I was so close to exploding in my hand, to the thoughts of everything we were together as we brought ourselves to release, and everything we _could be _for one another once she realized that it was _me_.

It wasn't _him_.

I shook my head to relieve myself of those unpleasant thoughts, my entire body twitching at the feel of my balls tightening and my stomach heaving as I brought myself so desperately close to the edge.

_Her body…_

_Her dark eyes…_

_Her soft thighs…_

_Her pink, aching flesh…_

_Round, supple breasts…_

_My name on her tongue…_

I came desperately hard, a deep grunt escaping my lips as I climaxed in the name of the girl who satisfied me so entirely.

And I prayed that she came with me, wished like hell that at the moment I erupted with pure unadulterated pleasure, she would feel it too.

If only she felt it too.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The following days passed in a blur of obligations and legalities, the hours spent at the practice far surpassing the time spent at home. Every drop of my blood, sweat and tears would be worth the freedom and nobility of owning my own practice. While I knew it would take awhile for things to settle, I had no qualms with giving all of myself to my career.

Well, almost no qualms…

I certainly wanted to make time for Bella, especially now that I knew I had some sort of competition.

But everything felt so right between us…how could there ever be any doubt?

I truly didn't want to know the answer to that question.

Before I knew it I found myself standing in the doorway of my facility, dressed to the nines and greeting co-workers, friends and family alike as they piled through my door. This was a big night for me, and it felt great to be able to share this moment with the people in my life.

The champagne flowed freely as I made my rounds, talking shop with my old associates from _Mercy_, discussing the Marlins with my friends and kissing my mother on the cheek. I checked my watch and realized a few key people from the evening were missing. My kid, for example.

"Where's my grandson?" My dad questioned behind me, resting his hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head, smiling back at him. "Beats me, Dad."

"Huh, probably caught up with some girl," he huffed.

I chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds about right."

My mother came up one the other side of me, linking her arm with mine. "I'm so proud of you, honey," she said tearfully, patting my hand.

I truly couldn't have asked for better parents. When I was a teenager and Esme had literally left me in shambles, there was only one true reason I survived: the love of my parents. So many years later when we found out about Edward's existence, there was no judgment or ill will over the fact that I fathered a child so young. Only pure joy that he was in our lives, and sadness that we had missed out on so much.

And since they didn't get to pamper Edward while he was growing up, he was treated like a five-year-old at twenty-seven by his compassionate, doting grandparents.

He completely ate it up.

"No date tonight, son?" my father asked, looking at me out of the corner of his eye.

I shrugged my shoulders, smiling crookedly. "Not tonight."

I desperately wanted to tell everyone in my life about the woman who had turned my world upside down, but there were so many reasons why I couldn't. For one, there was the age difference. While it wasn't an issue for us, I couldn't fathom what Edward would say about my dating someone younger than him. There was a large chance that he would pat me on the back and say 'Way to go, old man!'

There was also a chance that he would fly off the handle and be completely freaked out by it. My parents probably wouldn't have much to say on the matter, so that wasn't as big of a concern, but the main reason I kept her to myself was because of her desire to keep things casual between us. It wouldn't exactly resemble casual dating if I shouted from the roof tops that I was completely and utterly consumed by Isabella Swan. So for now I would keep my mouth shut and enjoy the secret that was only mine to have.

"There he is!" my mother gasped, her face lighting up brightly as Edward's bronze mop of hair showed up amongst the throngs of people. I wondered if he knew how much joy he brought his grandparents.

My five-foot-nothing, round little mother fought her way through the crowd, grabbing Edward's arm and yanking him down to leave maroon colored kisses all over his cheek. My heart clenched and he smiled warmly down at his grandmother. It had been so many years since Edward showed up at my door, but sometimes it overwhelmed me to know that I had a son, and just how blessed I was by his presence.

"Grammy!" he beamed, hugging her as she dragged him back toward us.

My dad met them half way and pulled Edward in for a hug, slipping him what looked like a five dollar bill as he clapped his back.

I shook my head. Edward had more money than all of us combined. Times ten.

I smiled at my boy as he slipped the five back in his grandpa's jacket pocket when he wasn't looking. He was a good kid.

"Hey pop," he smiled, reaching out to bump my knuckles. "Where's your _sweetheart_? I've been so anxious to meet her."

I thought back to Edward's phone call earlier in the week, overhearing me call Bella 'sweetheart' as I got off the phone with her. He must have inherited his eavesdropping skills from his grandmother. "I don't know what you're talking about," I muttered, looking over his head.

"Yeah, whatever," he smiled wryly.

I rolled my eyes. "Where's _your_ date?"

He pointed over his shoulder. "Eh, she saw someone she knew outside, so they're chatting it up."

"Are Emmett and Jasper coming?" I questioned.

Edward clenched his eyes and threw his head back. "Son of a bitch," he murmured.

"What?"

"Emmett and Rosalie are coming later, I think, but I completely forgot to invite Jazz. He's been so busy with his new girlfriend lately that I barely get to see him anymore."

"Well, time to settle down then, huh kid? All of your friends seem to be taking the plunge," I winked, punching his arm playfully and waiting for the onset of profanity.

His response floored me. "Yeah, maybe it is," he shrugged.

Something was definitely going on with him, but I left it alone for the time being. When he'd opened up to me earlier in the week about a girl he was actually interested in, I knew I had to tread lightly when approaching the subject. "How did your date go, by the way?" I asked nonchalantly.

His top lip curled upward as he observed his shoes, his hand resting on the back of his neck. "Pretty fucking good, pop," he murmured quietly.

"I'm glad to hear it, Edward," I smiled proudly.

Just then, he turned his head towards the door. "Speaking of dates…" he drifted off, smiling my own crooked grin.

I turned toward the door and saw the woman he escorted to my grand opening, my eyes widening as I took in her familiar face. I was beyond shocked.

EPOV

I ran my hands through my hair a few times, checking my reflection once more in the bathroom mirror. I looked pretty fucking dapper, to be sure. My hair was disarrayed but stylishly so, my jaw was covered with a day's worth of stubble and my tie was straight as an arrow.

_Eat your heart out, ladies._

Bella.

Bella, Bella, Bella.

Even though I couldn't get that girl out of my head, my whorish mindset was hard to break away from. Inside I was ready to rub up on the first woman with orange skin and fake tits, but immediately I was reminded of how unsatisfied that would make me feel.

Not that there would be leggy Oompa Loompas at my pop's grand opening anyway, but like I said…old habits die hard.

It had been three days since my date with Bella. What a fucking grab bag of fuckery I had been, and yet somehow I still managed to get her warm tongue into my mouth at the end of the night. Truth be told, I wanted it on a lot more places than that, but she laid down the cockblock at her front door.

And to my utter astonishment, I wasn't disheartened because I wasn't going to be getting my rocks off with a fuck-hot, gorgeous girl. Nah, I was sorry for myself because I didn't get to touch her skin and watch her face scrunch up as she came and give her the pleasure that somehow now trumped my own beloved orgasms.

The girl had thrown me for a loop.

Our date wasn't perfect. Far from, in fact. I was a complete basket case when she walked into her living room to greet me, my conscious mind taking an untimely leave of absence along with my verbal filter. I started talking to Bella like a lovesick idiot, but once I got it out of my system and confessed a lot more than I ever fucking meant to, things took on a much more normal rhythm.

Which meant that it was only a matter of time before my douche-baggery began to show. I started chiding her, telling her to admit that she was having more fun with me than the other twit she was dating. I could literally feel myself changing over to my suave alter-ego as I widened my smile and batted my lashes lazily at her. One moment I was conversing with her like a half-way decent human being, the next I felt like I should be wearing a thick gold chain and doing the finger-gun point at her while winking obnoxiously. Was this really how I operated in the past?

It was a damn good thing I was pretty, because these chicks were out of their minds to fall for my game if that was the case.

But the fact that I could now recognize my descent into asshole-ism meant that I was finally seeing the error of my ways, which I took as progress.

I was still kinda miffed that Bella was dating that other guy, but it was just another matter I was torn on. On one hand, I wanted Bella all to myself, plain and fucking simple. On the other, I knew I would freak the fuck out if she asked me to be monogamous. I know, right? Such a contradictory bastard.

I finally decided that it was probably a good thing Bella wanted to keep it casual, at least while I took the time to figure my shit out. And if things progressed the way I thought they would between us, that other dude would be out on his ass once Bella and I got on the same page.

I was confident we would.

In the meantime, the fact remained that Bella was actively seeing another man…which meant my ass wasn't going to be sitting on the couch eating bonbons, waiting for the phone to ring.

Not by a long shot. Not when I was moments away from picking up the most loveliest of ladies to ever grace me with her presence.

I whistled for Taylor and opened her door as she jumped off the couch, running into her Puppy Palace. "I'll be back later, Tay Tay…be good."

I turned on the radio for my homegirl and switched on the kitchen light before scooping my keys off the counter. I eyeballed the bouquet of flowers I had bought earlier in the day, smiling as I thought about who I'd be giving them to.

After our date on Tuesday, I immediately wanted to ask Bella to accompany me to the grand opening of Carlisle's private practice, but remembered that she was going out of town to visit her mother that weekend. It was probably just as well. Knowing how sappy my ass was turning, I'd probably make googly eyes at her and officially freak the fuck out of my pop.

It would have been entertaining at least.

But even though it would have been amazing to have Bella on my arm the entire night, I realized it was probably for the best. Neither one of us was in a place where we wanted to be pressured, and I figured she probably needed her space to mull over shit just as much as I did.

I still thought about her almost every waking minute, but as I tucked the flowers beneath my arm and walked towards my front door, I was thoroughly content with the woman who would be accompanying me to the grand opening.

After locking the front door behind me I whistled a tune on my way toward the elevator, cursing loudly once I realized what exactly I was whistling.

_Fucking Justin Bieber taking over every fucking radio station in the fucking country... _

"Such a tool," I murmured, rolling my eyes as the elevator dinged.

"Eddie, going stag again?"

I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder and shrugged out of it, giving my sleaze-ball neighbor James a dismissive look as he approached me from behind. "I guess."

He chuckled heartily. "Huh, you know come to think of it, your apartment hasn't been seeing as much action as it used to. Ever since that dark-haired girl with the smoking little body snuck out a few weeks ago."

Boiling rage overtook me, and before I knew what I was doing, James was pinned against the wall next to the elevator. "What the fuck is your problem, man? Do you spy on me out your fucking peephole or something? I suggest you mind your own business from here on out, you feel me?"

He smiled widely. "I seem to have struck a nerve. You certainly like to play unsung hero to the girls who walk out _my_ door. Maybe I'll have to rescue _your_ little doe-eyed treat. What do you think, Eddie? She can't be that hard to find."

I nearly growled, my fists clenching around the lapels of his jacket as I pushed him harder against the wall. I didn't take well to being toyed with, especially when it came to the first girl I ever truly had feelings for. I wanted to punch him in his botoxed fucking face, but realized it wouldn't exactly be cool for me to pull my dad away from his own party so he could bail his dumbass son out of jail.

I let go of his jacket, breathing deeply in and out to steady my nerves. I wanted to threaten his miserable existence if he even _thought_ about Bella again, but I knew that would tempt him even further. "My life is none of your concern," I growled through gritted teeth, backing away from him slowly. "Just stay on your end of the hall and I'll stay on mine. It works out a hell of a lot better that way."

His amused, icy gaze didn't go unnoticed by me, but before I could act on my initial urge to pulverize him, two blonde girls who couldn't have been more than nineteen sauntered out of the elevator, walking to either side of James.

I stepped swiftly into the lift and pressed the button to the main floor, feeling sickened with how young those girls were, and just how clueless they had to have been about the man they were giving their bodies to.

The perverseness of the exchange going on floors above me made me long for Bella something fierce, and even though I resolved to let her be this weekend, I needed to connect with her so badly in that moment. Maybe it was because of the vague threats James had made toward her, or maybe I just missed her more than I realized. No matter what the reason, it had me texting a message to my girl as fast as my fingers would allow me.

_I was kinda just thinking that you're pretty amazing, and the respect you have for yourself is just as sexy as your mind and that gorgeous smile of yours. Miss me yet? ;)_

She wrote back about ten minutes later as I was pulling out of my parking garage.

_Maybe. :) That was a sweet but unusual compliment, Edward. Everything okay?_

I let out a long exhale, pondering her question intently. Finally I wrote back.

_Things are decent. I just encountered a real Class A sleaze and I'm praying I've never stooped to a level such as his. I'm headed to a party, baby. Enjoy that quiet time for me._

My phone signaled her reply a moment later.

_There's not much quiet while my mother is in the vicinity, but I'm managing to clear my head. Apparently I needed it. Well, have fun. :)_

I hesitated for a moment and wrote out a simple message.

_I want to see you again. Could we maybe have another date when you get back?_

It seemed like an eternity before she replied.

_Hmmm…I suppose that can be arranged. :)_

I laughed, typing, _Thank fucking god._

My phone beeped back with her sweet words.

_Wow, such a charmer. *swoon*_

Goddamn, she was funny.

_I knew you missed me. _

Her reply made my whole body warm from the inside out.

_Have fun at your party…but be safe. And I always miss you, Edward, when you aren't being a cocky asshole, that is. ;)_

I closed my phone with a wide smile spread across my face as I ran my fingers through my hair. I turned the radio up and checked my watch, making sure I would be on time for the date that wasn't Bella, but still pretty spectacular in her own right.

"Baby, baby, baby, ohhh like baby, baby, baby, noooo…_damnit!"_

_Fucking Justin Bieber._

_-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-_

I arrived in my date's driveway promptly at seven-thirty, grinning brazenly as I retrieved the bouquet of flowers and walked swiftly to the front door. I rang the bell and straightened my tie, hearing a female voice on the other side of the door.

The happiness in her tone made me feel all heart-warmed and shit.

A moment later the door swung open, and I was met with a positively giddy woman, her purse clutched tightly in her hands as she giggled shamelessly at me. I was oozing charm, and couldn't help but chuckle at what Bella would think of me resorting back to my old habits. Given the situation, I didn't think she'd mind.

I took in my date's burgundy dress, her white pearls glistening around her neck and the bright rouge coloring her cheeks. She was quite frankly adorable, and if I couldn't have Bella on my arm tonight, there was certainly no one else I'd rather be with.

I bowed and took her hand, kissing it gallantly as I looked up at her beneath my lashes. "Gladys, you are an absolute vision," I murmured deeply, kissing her hand once more for good measure.

She giggled so violently that a rather unladylike snort rang out loudly before she cupped her hand over her mouth and turned a bright shade of red.

Yeah, so I was taking my pop's married, sixty-something receptionist to his grand opening…big fucking deal. Gladys was the shit, and I knew she always had a cougar crush on my fine ass. I could talk shit and say that I'd date around if Bella was…but the fact of the matter was, I just didn't want to.

Which was admittedly fucked up but with each passing day, it became less and less terrifying.

Gladys's husband came up behind her and winked wryly. "What kind of a noise was that? You sounded like a dying pig with all your guffawing out here."

Gladys rolled her eyes playfully and stepped out the door. "You look handsome tonight, sweet pea. Not that you don't always, mind you," she smiled, patting my cheek.

I shook her husband's hand and winked. "I'll have her back at a decent hour, sir, no worries."

"Well you can keep her if you want," he teased, leaning against the doorframe with a wide smile on his face.

"Hmm, I just might," I murmured, tucking her hand beneath my arm.

I began walking Gladys to my car before her husband called out to us. We both turned and he pointed a finger at me. "You be respectable, young man. That's my wife you're escorting around."

I nodded and Gladys lit up like the Fourth of July. "See, my old man isn't all that bad," she sighed. "Just a little rough around the edges, is all."

On our drive to my dad's practice, Gladys went on and on about the party that she had arranged: who was coming, who wasn't coming, the h'ordeuvres being served, the decorations, the lighting and so on and so forth.

So I did what any other diligent date would do; I smiled happily and nodded where appropriate.

We arrived at the party a little later than planned thanks to shitty traffic, and I walked through the doors alone as Gladys found some old biddy to gossip with outside the office.

I smiled as I saw my little Grammy billowing through the crowd to get to me. My grandparents were the sweetest fucking people I knew, and they treated me like a golden child, which I totally loved, by the way.

After my gramps tried to slip me a fiver and I snuck it back into his pocket, I met up with my pop, making casual talk as our eyes perused the crowded room. I harassed him about the chick he was talking to on the phone earlier in the week and he in turn asked about my date.

I thought his eyeballs were gonna pop out and land on the fucking floor when I told him that it went pretty fucking amazingly well.

Once Bella and I figured out what the hell we wanted, I would have no problem informing my pop just how taken I was with a member of the opposite sex. But there was no point in getting his hopes all up about me settling down if Bella ditched me for that other douche bag, or I bailed when I realized I couldn't deal with the monogomies. I severely doubted that either one of those things would come to pass, but it was better safe than sorry. So for now I'd shut my hole and wait until she was at least my fucking girlfriend before I presented us to the outside world.

Plus keeping us a secret made it feel kind of dirty, which made it infinitely hotter.

Gladys joined us moments later, my dad looking at me like I had three heads when he realized that little old Gladys was my date to his grand opening. I simply shrugged and smiled crookedly at him. "What can I say, pop? I've got a thing for older women."

"Huh…that's ironic," he muttered beneath his breath, turning towards some dude with a mustache as he began his spiel about the practice.

I walked around aimlessly as Gladys, my father, and my grandparents busied themselves with socializing around the room. The champagne was tasting really fucking stellar as I slammed one after another back, my cheeks feeling warm and flushed as I spotted Emmett and Rosalie walking through the front door.

I expertly manhandled three champagne glasses and distributed them to my friend and the girl who had his dick in some sort of vagina-shaped death trap; seriously, this chick had his balls in a jar on her fucking shelf next to her Barbies and porcelain dolls, but who the hell am I to judge?

She didn't like me all that much because of my salacious ways; the only thing I could figure was that she was afraid Em would see my life of pussy and freedom and drop her ass like a hot coal. Well, if the goddamn shoe fit…

Nah, I guess Rosalie wasn't that bad, even though she looked at me like a bug that needed to be crushed. Well, maybe she was that bad.

"Hey man, what's shakin'?" Emmett question, smiling widely as he slammed back the contents of his glass and placed it on a nearby tray, swiping another drink.

"Nada," I sighed, looking around absently. "Just a lot of rich old people."

"We just stopped by for awhile. We have tickets to the ballet for nine p.m.," Rosalie abruptly informed me.

"Okay, simmer down," I said defensively.

She rolled her eyes and sipped daintily at her drink.

"So where's Jazzabel?" Emmett questioned.

I groaned, feeling like shit that I didn't even invite my best friend. "Somehow I forgot to tell him to come. I mean, I guess I've been talking about Carlisle's new practice a lot, but I never really told him when and where the festivities were taking place. He's always with Alice, so I don't fucking know," I sighed, running my fingers through my hair.

Emmett shrugged. "He'll get over it. If nothing else, tell him you sent him an invitation but he's been so neglectful of your friendship because of Alice that he didn't even notice. That will make him go all emo-geek and he'll be begging for your forgiveness."

I chuckled shortly. "Wow, man, that's a pretty cold thing to do."

Emmett pushed my shoulder. "Shit, I was just playing around. So did you bring Bella?"

"What?" I asked sharply.

"That's the name of Alice's roommate isn't it? The one you laid down the pipe with?"

Rosalie smacked Emmett hard in the gut, which actually made me like her a bit more.

"How do you know her name?" I asked suspiciously.

"Hmm, probably because Jazzy accidentally spilled the beans about your little date. So you finally came down with your monogomies, bro. I hope you picked up your prescription drugs, man, that shit can make it burn when you pee," he chuckled.

I was going to fucking kill Jasper Milton Whitlock the Third.

"Yeah well whatever, just keep your mouth shut about her," I snapped, throwing back another glass of champagne.

"Wow, you must have it bad," Rosalie smirked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Okay, I was back to a very strong dislike of the blonde demon spawn.

"Damn guys, look at the time! You better get going if you're gonna beat the traffic. You can't leave those men in tights waiting too long, can you Emmett?"

He stared at me sheepishly.

I smirked like the asshole I was and, after they congratulated my pop, walked them toward Emmett's Jeep. "Thanks for coming, guys," I said sincerely.

Rosalie climbed in and Emmett bumped my knuckles. "It's all good, Edward. And don't sweat it about Bella, I was just giving you shit. We all get swept up by a female sooner or later."

I nodded appreciatively before punching his shoulder. "Maybe, but we all don't turn into giant pussies and go to the fucking ballet every other weekend, _Emmy_."

He tried to gut check me but I backed up out of his way. He attempted to nab me a few more times but I side stepped him, mostly because I was lithe as hell and he was a big mass of clumsy muscle. "Whatever, you're still an asshole," he smirked.

I nodded, signaling for him to get in the Jeep. "Yeah, I'm sure I am. I hope you're wearing the pearls that match your skirt, Emmy. They judge you on that shit in fancy places like that."

He scowled and called me an asshole once more before driving away, leaving me in the dust as my phone started ringing. I shook my head as I watched Emmett drive out of sight, chuckling to myself before looking at the display of my phone, hoping like hell it was Bella.

My smile instantly fell. It so fucking wasn't Bella. At all.

The words "Mommy Dearest" were displayed on my screen, and believe me when I say the name in which I had her stored in my phone was no fucking coincidence.

I hadn't talked to her in months, nor did I have a real desire to.

My throat burned as I swallowed thickly, a wave of abandonment washing through me as I quickly suppressed the glaringly obvious knowledge that the hole this woman left in my life was still an open wound.

But if I didn't pick up, she'd never fucking stop trying until she reached me.

I begrudgingly answered my call, preparing myself for the repressed hurt that soared through my body every time I heard her fake laugh, her joyous accounts of her travels, and the luxurious life she always led without me.

Without her own flesh and fucking blood.

"Hello," I murmured, my eyes widening when I was met with something completely unexpected on the other end of the line.

CPOV

As the crowd thinned and random people came up to me, wishing me luck and thanking me for the lovely party, I knew this night had been a success. I could only hope that my private practice would follow suit.

Eventually only Gladys and two of her receptionist friends were left as they commingled around the front desk, all of their cheeks brightly colored as they slurred their words and chugged their drinks. I chuckled to myself and loosened my tie, observing the mess left in the wake of the party and thankful I could hire people to clean up the aftermath, especially when I had so much to do between then and Monday.

I began wandering my building, certain that Edward had to be around somewhere considering Gladys was still there and he hadn't said goodbye.

I searched outside but didn't see him anywhere, finally looking from room to room until I found him in one of the examination rooms, sitting atop the paper-covered table with a bottle of champagne pressed to his lips.

Immediately I knew something was wrong.

But as it always was with Edward, I had to tread lightly.

I climbed up and sat next to him on the table, turning on the small lamp attached to the wall and bringing some illumination to the otherwise pitch dark room. I pulled the bottle from his hand and took a long sip before giving it back to him. "What happened, Edward?" I questioned hesitantly, observing him very closely.

His eyes were red and his jaw was clenched, pain etched in every feature that could only be caused by one person. The person who had ruined me as well.

"She's coming here," he mumbled around the mouth of the bottle, casting me a side glance before closing his eyes and chugging heartily.

My heart clenched viciously, and I was suddenly angry with myself for still reacting to her after all these years. "Why?"

He shrugged. "She was crying."

"_Why_?" I questioned again.

"I guess all the shit she put us through is finally catching up with her," he slurred indolently into his champagne.

I cursed beneath my breath, angry at the blood racing through my veins and my stomach that twisted in some unidentifiable emotion. But more than that, I was overtaken with rage…because she was fucking with my son all over again.

"Let her come, Edward. If she leaves again, then you'll know. If she takes the time and effort to repent for what she's done, then maybe we can all heal. Either way, you know you'll always have one parent that will give you the love you deserve. I'd never miss out on a single second of your life, and I'd never feel anything less than pride when I look at you, Edward."

I looked down at my trembling hands as the forceful words left my lips, anger coursing through me in violent currents.

_After all this time, she still did this to me…_

Edward's hand was heavy on my shoulder. "Come on, pop. Don't let her fuck with you anymore just because she still has the power to fuck with me."

I huffed in frustration. "If she fucks with you, Edward, she fucks with me."

He chuckled absently. "Damn, Carlisle, you must be fired up as _hell _if you're dropping the 'F' bombs."

I shook my head. "I just don't know why she keeps doing this. She either needs to leave you be or try to get you back, but when she toys with you like this…I can't stand it."

"I'm twenty-seven, pop. I should be able to handle my selfishly clueless mother by now," he sighed.

"Edward, it doesn't matter how old you are…the levels of your pain run deep, and understandably so."

"Whatever," he mumbled, seemingly frustrated with himself, much how I was now that I was letting Esme Platt under my skin once again.

We sat there in a heavy silence, passing the bottle back and forth between us until the contents ran dry.

Eventually Gladys found us, sullen and somewhat liquored as she took in our empty expressions. She'd been around us long enough to know what had us in such a state. Silently she walked forward and wrapped us in her arms, her quiet sob sounding out between us.

"Oh, my poor boys," she whispered, patting our cheeks. "She'd better hope she never steps foot anywhere near me, sweet peas, or there's going to be a heap of trouble coming her way."

I couldn't help but chuckle at the menacing threats from the sweet woman who would undoubtedly keep my practice afloat. She slowly pulled back and kissed both of our foreheads before smiling warmly at us. "Harold is on his way to get me, but I'm going to call a cab for you two; you don't need to be driving like this."

With one more squeeze she walked out of the room, reminding me to lock up before shutting the door behind her.

I was confident that tomorrow we would be much more capable of coping with the news of Edward's mother gracing us with her presence. But with emotions running high for both of us-what with our newfound love interests, my new endeavor career-wise and the plentiful flow of expensive champagne-we were letting her looming presence effect us on a more personal level than either one of us would have liked to admit.

I could only hope that if she was truly upset about the way she had neglected our son all these years, that she would be sincere about it, and realize just how grandly she had screwed up.

But no matter the reason for her visit, I'd protect Edward the best I could from the damage she could potentially create.

Because that's what a good father did for his son.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A/N:

***Brits sings*** _You know you love me, I know you care, Just shout whenever, and I'll be there_…GAWD DAMNIT! Playboyward keeps walking around my house naked, singing Justin Bieber and now it's stuck in my head too! He's right, it's a DAMN good thing he's pretty. ***Grumbles***

Kate: I never thought I'd be saying this about the visual of a naked Playboyward walking around the house, but that's pretty messed up. He's been Bieber-ized!

Brits: No worries, Twin. I will be more than happy to POUND IT right out of our beloved Playboyward until he's in his right mind again.

Kate: Thanks for taking one for the team, hon. In the meantime I'm gonna ask Dr. McYummy to reenact the Wank-lisle scene...again...

***Brits licks lips*** Hey, that was a very um, hard scene to write! Dr. FuckMeNow and I worked on it together, over and over...and over...and over again... ***Brits' eyes glaze over***

Kate: Hmm, well now that Bella is enforcing the cockblock smackdown, our poor boys may just have to get used to taking care of themselves for a while. Maybe we should make sure they understand they can cum, err, come to us for help anytime?

Brits: I think that would be the most responsible thing to do as, you know, authors and whatnot. But seriously, twin, do you really think Bella can keep her resolve when she's got those two hot pieces fawning all over her?

Kate: I don't think any woman in her right mind would be able to. Especially since you know they'll both be trying to get her to change her mind. And speaking of minds, do you think Bella's gotten her head on straight up in Jacksonville? Got some words of wisdom from Renee?

Brits: Well I don't know how much wisdom Renee will be capable of providing, but speaking of Mothers...what's the deal with Esme? Oh wait, we know the answer to that already. But they don't! ***Brits points out to the sea of readers***

***Kate rolls up sleeves and prepares to choke a bitch Wayne-Brady-style***

Brits: Easy there, killer. Why don't we just let our beloved story unravel before we commit manslaughter, cool?

Kate: Okay okay, I'll wait...for now. Well, to get my mind off HER, how about we remind people of a few things? The Twilighted thread being one of them...

Brits: Oh right! Twilighted thread linkage: www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8305.

We have P0rn Fridays over there, and have even recently thrown in some decadent treats on Hump Day (aka Wednesday) so be sure to check it out...especially if you wanna see a pic of PFach that looks like he's starring in his own personal sextape, but I digress.

Kate: And Masterperv Theatre, which has been updated with a sinfully-delicious one-shot from my lovely twin here: www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/s/5952744/2/Masterperv_Theatre

And last but not least, we're both still on Twitter, all pervy, all the time, as brits23 and lazykatevamp

Brits: Yep! So add us, visit us on the thread, and please check out Masterperv Theatre? We sure do appreciate it. In the meantime, why don't you drop us a line and tell us what you thought of this chapter. Any thoughts on Esme's impending presence? What will it mean for our favorite love triangle? REVIEW and let us know!

Kate: Yes please! See you lovelies again soon!


	9. Second Base

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

Chapter Nine – Second Base

BPOV

I normally would have dreaded the prospect of the long five-hour drive back to Miami on Sunday afternoon, but it ended up being my favorite part of the past four days. It wasn't that I didn't love Renee and Phil, or that I hadn't enjoyed spending time with them, but being around Renee was _exhausting_. She had the energy of a two-year-old who had just chased a mega-box of Nerds with a Mountain Dew Big Gulp, and felt that silence was an indication of something wrong. We were constantly doing something or talking the entire time I was in Jacksonville, and the peace and quiet of my car was a welcome relief.

Renee had grilled me about my social life, of course, and I told her that I was casually dating a couple of really great guys, but that I didn't want to get too serious too quickly with either one of them. It was all the thinking I got to do about Edward and Carlisle, since I was asleep ten seconds after my head hit the pillow each night, exhausted from keeping up with the Renee tornado.

After I'd turned on the cruise control on the interstate, I let my mind wander to the two men in my life. I hadn't heard from Carlisle since our _chat_ Wednesday evening, but Edward had sent me some endearingly-odd text messages. I'd promised both of them that I'd see them when I got back, but I figured I could put off calling them until I was back in town.

I wondered how Carlisle's grand opening celebration had gone. He'd been working night and day to get ready for business; I'd been shocked that he'd only just gotten home when he called me Wednesday night. God…just thinking about our conversation still made me blush. I had absolutely no idea where I'd gotten up the nerve to suggest that we mutually relieve our _frustration_, but Carlisle had been more than willing. The mental image of him stroking himself, thinking of me, was enough to make me ridiculously horny all over again.

When he'd asked me to let him come over, I'd been just a whisper away from saying yes. But I knew that no matter how good our intentions or resolve might be at first, neither of us would be the one to stop it when we got carried away. I'd hung up the phone with a maddening case of sexual frustration, something I promptly took care of with my new space-shuttle-technology vibrator.

I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't been momentarily thrown when Carlisle told me his actual age. It hadn't come up before, and he certainly didn't look or act forty-five. He definitely had the sexual stamina of a man half his age. After a brief stunned moment of working out the math, I suddenly realized that it didn't matter for shit if he was twenty years older than me. If I was going to dump a guy over a _number_ when everything else about him was so _good_, then I was a fucking idiot. End of story.

Edward was only two years older than me, but his age didn't mean a thing to me either. Edward…he'd been on his way to a party when he'd texted me Friday evening, and I couldn't help but wonder if he'd taken a date. A little pang went through me at the thought, but I squashed it down immediately. I'd flat-out told him that I was seeing someone else, I couldn't expect him to immediately stop dating and wait for me to make up my mind between two unbelievably gorgeous men. I hoped he wasn't necessarily having sex with all his dates, but I couldn't count on that either.

Especially since I wouldn't mind having sex with Edward again sometime in the future.

Or Carlisle.

Oh God, the two simultaneous thoughts were enough to make my brain explode. But I couldn't do it. I mean, I _could_, I was sure they would both be up for it, and I definitely wanted to, but I knew deep down that allowing sex back into the equation when things were supposed to be "casual" would just make everything more complicated. I already felt a million times better since both Carlisle and Edward knew I wasn't dating either of them exclusively at the moment, I had no interest in a responsible "Umm, I'm also sexually active with another guy" conversation.

I had absolutely no idea where it came from, but an idle thought suddenly meandered through my brain…_damn, if I could figure out a way to get them both interested in a threesome, that would be perfect!_ I wanted to chastise myself for being a complete perv, but my dirty mind wouldn't allow it, not when the idea was so fucking hot. Two gorgeous, sexy, attentive guys, both worshiping my body and devoting themselves to my every desire…especially when I already knew how incredibly _talented_ they both were…

Neither of them seemed like the sharing type, though, and I knew I would never have the nerve to suggest something like that. _But I'll definitely save that idea for the lady spank bank!_

The blare of a horn from another car snapped me back to reality, and I realized I'd drifted halfway into the next lane. Okay, damn, no more sexual fantasies until I was safely off the road…I'd have to save it for the space shuttle vibrator.

I very deliberately steered my thoughts away from anything remotely sexual and tried to remember my agenda for the week. Carlisle had already asked me if I would mind stopping by his office on Monday since he was having problems with his internet disconnecting intermittently. He'd mentioned that the office would be closed from noon to one o'clock to allow the nurses and front desk staff to have lunch, and that it would be the perfect time for me to stop by. I wasn't as familiar with the hardware side of things, but from all the part-time IT jobs I'd held in college, I could at least look over the setup and see if it was something I could help with.

I had at least three videoconferences scheduled throughout the week…I would need to catch up from taking two days off…I needed to get that stupid Epi-Pen replaced…I _really_ needed to call and catch up with Charlie…and Edward had already asked me for another date. It was going to be a busy week.

When I arrived home, Alice was already there, busily ruining what looked like pot roast. How someone could ruin pot roast was beyond me, but my best friend seemed to be giving it her best try.

"Hey hon, how was Jacksonville?" She gave me a quick hug and then turned her attention back to the blackened lump of meat.

"Good, it's just tiring, trying to keep up with Renee." I dropped my bags on the floor and then sank into a kitchen chair. "If we're not out running around, she wants to talk. I don't know how she doesn't run out of things to yak about. How was your weekend?"

"Relaxing." She flashed me an apologetic grin. "Jasper and I didn't leave the house the whole time."

"Good for you," I commented, gratefully accepting the glass of wine she handed me. "How's he doing?"

"Fine, but he's kinda miffed at Edward."

"Oh really, why?"

"I guess Edward went to some party Friday night and didn't bother asking Jasper if we wanted to go too. I don't know, he didn't really say much about it, but I think his feelings were hurt."

"Aww, poor Jasper," I murmured, before a thought crossed my mind. "Edward texted me Friday night on his way to a party…I wonder if he was bringing some random skank as a date and didn't want Jasper to mention it to us?"

Alice's eyes grew wide. "Ohh…I didn't even think of that. Do you want me to ask him about it?"

I shook my head. "No, let it go. If I'm dating around, then he's allowed to as well. And I probably don't want to hear about it."

She nodded and then gave the pot roast one last disgusted poke with a fork. "Are you hungry?"

"Umm…"

"Because I was just thinking about making a sushi run. You game?"

I laughed as Alice speared the pot roast and dumped it into the garbage. "Sushi sounds like a plan."

**xoxoxoxo**

The next morning I dressed casually in a snug white tee and khaki capris, having learned long ago that comfort was the way to go when it came to IT. If you wore a skirt and heels, the problem inevitably could only be solved by crawling under a desk, through an access panel, or by dragging heavy equipment around.

At 11:55 I arrived at Carlisle's new office, and was immediately impressed by the location and quiet sophistication of the building. I was still disappointed that I'd had to miss his opening celebration, but knew he would probably want to give me a tour. I knew how much it meant to him to have his own practice now, and I was genuinely happy for him. Not many people had been as supportive when I struck out on my own, Alice being one big exception.

The waiting room was empty and quiet as I entered and went up to the receptionist's window, the kind-looking lady behind the desk spoke before I had a chance to.

"Hello sweetpea, please tell me you're Bella Swan?"

"I…yes, I'm Bella."

"Oh good, because we're closing for lunch in five minutes and we'll be locking the door. Doctor told me to expect you, though. Internet is working fine everywhere except in his office, poor thing. Oh here, come on around to the door on the left, I'll buzz you in."

I opened the door as she unlocked it, chattering all the while. "My name is Gladys, by the way, and I also wanted to tell you what a _wonderful_ job you did on his website. He just told me this morning that you'd built it; I thought for sure he'd hired one of those big fancy companies to do it. Do you know where his office is?"

"Err, no, this is the first time I've been here."

"Well here, let me show you, it's right down this hallway." I followed her bustling figure to a door at the end of the hall, which she knocked on briskly. "Doctor, Ms. Swan is here."

"Bella," I told her, and she flashed me a toothy smile as she stepped aside upon hearing Carlisle's voice calling from inside.

"Pleasure to meet you, Bella. Now, Doctor, I'll just be up front with my sandwich and romance novel if you need anything."

"You're supposed to be on lunch, though, are you sure you don't want to go out?" Carlisle had risen from his chair when I took a tentative step into his office; his words were to Gladys but his eyes were on me.

"Oh no, I'll be fine. It's a real page-turner, just holler if you need me." With that she gave me a gentle push the rest of the way into his office and shut the door behind us.

Carlisle came quickly around his desk, looking obscenely-sexy in his white doctor's jacket and a dark red dress shirt, a faint smile on his face. "Hello, Bella."

"Hi," I managed, trying not to stare at him. He came closer until I was practically pressed up against the closed door, and I could feel the warmth of his body so achingly close to mine, his beautiful blue eyes boring into me.

"Do I get to kiss you hello now?"

"I think I qualified that you could kiss me hello in _public_, Dr. Cullen," I reminded him. He cocked his head slightly to the side and smiled.

"Gladys is here, doesn't that count?"

"Um, no. Not with you looking like that and only a door between her and us."

He hummed contemplatively. "Right, how could I forget how much you love seeing me in my work clothes?"

"Carlisle…" I warned, and he chuckled.

"Fine, but I'm holding you to what you said…" He leaned forward and pressed a gentle warm kiss to my lips, then took an immediate step away. "Welcome back."

"Thanks," I managed. "How did the grand opening party go?"

A faint shadow passed over his face but it was gone almost as quickly. "It went extremely well, I'm sorry you had to miss it."

"Me too. Now I'm here in an _official_ capacity, so…"

"Ah, yes. Back to business, I suppose." He rested one hand lightly on the small of my back, guiding me towards the massive oak desk that dominated the office. "I'll let you see for yourself…"

At my insistence he sat down in the rich leather desk chair and began clicking on various applications, demonstrating the error messages that popped up with almost every one. A light went on in my head when I spied his landline office phone.

"Okay, I've got to get under the desk, but I want you to stay put, because I'm going to need you to try all of that again after I fiddle with your connections under there. I'm assuming that's where all your main ports are, anyway…"

Carlisle's eyes went wide and he scooted the desk chair back as I dropped to my knees and crawled under his desk. There was plenty of room to move around, and I immediately located the data ports. "My…what a big desk you have, Dr. Cullen," I teased, my voice echoing as I began rearranging the plugs between the ports built conveniently into the floor.

"Uhhh…" was the only response I heard from above and I laughed softly to myself. "Okay, don't do anything yet, but I think I know what the problem is. With this setup, the internet connection is actually routed through your phone. So you have to plug the internet into your office phone, and then plug your computer into the phone. Does that make sense?" When there was no reply I chanced a glance over my shoulder only to see Carlisle frozen in his chair, his eyes glued to my rear end. "Enjoying the view?"

To his credit, he flushed a dark red and scooted further backwards. "Yes, I suppose I was."

I giggled and untangled one final cord. Whoever had done his setup had done an awfully sloppy job with it. "At least you're honest about it."

"Well Bella, after Wednesday night, I would think we'd be on _very_ honest terms with each other," was his prompt retort.

I completely forgot that I was under a heavy solid oak desk; my head snapped upwards at his words and connected with a sharp crack against the underside of his desk. "_Ow!" _I yelped, and immediately Carlisle was on his knees, guiding me out from under his desk, one hand covering my fingers as I pressed them against my throbbing skull.

"Shit, Bella, I'm sorry," he murmured, pushing me back until I sat down on the top of his desk and he stood before me. "That was all my fault; I should have just kept my mouth shut."

"No, it's okay, really…I can't even tell you how many times I've done that over the years."

"Hold still," he ordered, prying my hand away and gently running his fingers over my aching head. "That was one hell of a bang."

"I'm used to it," I muttered.

He quirked an eyebrow. "That doesn't make me feel any better. How many concussions have you had in your life?"

"Three."

His jaw dropped slightly. "Well, that was meant to be a joke, but…" His fingers touched a particularly tender spot and I winced. "You need to be more careful with this beautiful head of yours. I'm very partial to it now."

I sighed and half-shut my eyes as his fingertips carefully massaged my head. "As long as it's still attached, that's all that matters."

"Uh-huh," he said softly, his fingers moving more slowly now. "I could kiss it and make it all better, you know."

I couldn't help but grin. "That was a pretty cheesy line, Carlisle. Are you going to ask me to play doctor and nurse next?"

He gave me a crooked smile. "Only if you insist." His fingers had stopped moving completely now and were just entwined in my hair, leaving my face framed between his palms. "My nurses usually aren't allowed to sit on my desk, though."

"That's good to know."

Carlisle leaned forward slightly and pressed a kiss to my forehead, then untangled his fingers from my hair and ran them down my neck to my shoulders. Before I could say anything, his lips were following the same path, sliding smoothly down my face, over my jaw, and then down the length of my throat. I let out an involuntary moan as he reached the spot where my neck and shoulder joined and gave it a tiny nip.

At that noise his lips glided back up along my neck until they settled against my jaw, just in front of my ear. "Tell me about Wednesday night, Bella."

I whimpered.

"Tell me that you did exactly what I imagined you doing. Tell me that you made yourself come."

"Yes," I whispered, not enough shame left in me to even color my cheeks.

He groaned softly and was about to speak again when the phone, sitting directly behind me, let out an obnoxious squawk.

"Doctor? I know I'm interrupting, but Dr. Gerandy is here. He said he's sorry to drop in unexpectedly, but he had an opening in his schedule…"

Carlisle let loose with a string of profanity I'd never heard from him before, then leaned around me and pressed the intercom button on his phone. "He's here _now_?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, I tried to tell him…"

He took a deep breath and then released it in a long hiss from between his teeth. "Please show him to the conference room, I'll be there in a moment."

He punched the button to end the conversation more viciously than necessary, and then turned his gaze back to me, still wanting. "God, Bella, I'm so sorry…I had no idea he'd come by today. He's the medical director at Mercy now, and since I'm affiliated with them…"

I nodded somewhat awkwardly, and then accepted his help to slide off the desk. "No, I understand. I really…I just need to change around the plugs on your phone and I'll be out of here."

"Bella…" he breathed, as I tugged at my shirt, straightening it out. "I won't ask you to stay and wait while I meet with him, but…"

Every cell in my body cried out in protest as I made my decision, then leaned forward and gently kissed his beautiful lips. "I'll go, Carlisle."

"Bella…" His voice was pleading.

"It's okay, go meet with him, call me later." I reached and touched my fingertips to his lips. "Maybe I'll tell you more about Wednesday night."

He groaned again. "That does not give me a good reason to leave you right now."

I grinned wickedly. "You'd better get out before this other doctor busts in here and catches you bending me over your desk. I'll fix your phone and computer, let me know if you have any more problems, okay?"

He took a deep breath and I could see when he finally allowed his professional mask to slip into place over his features. "You are…beyond unbelievable, do you know that?"

"So they say."

"I'll call you tonight." He pressed one last fierce kiss to my lips before straightening up, smoothing out his jacket, and striding out the door. I quickly set about making the necessary corrections to his phone and computer connections, then double-checked to make sure his internet was working. I had to get out of there before the mental image of Carlisle bending me over his desk weakened my resolve _too_ much.

Five minutes later I was on my way back out through the waiting room, flipping a quick wave to Gladys, and out to my car to contemplate why my willpower had gone to complete shit in less than twenty-four hours.

**xoxoxoxo**

True to his word, Carlisle called me that evening, but he sounded completely exhausted and we kept the conversation short. We tossed around the idea of a date over the weekend, but I told him to get a good night's sleep and that we'd iron out the details later.

After we hung up, I dialed Edward. The phone rang twice before he answered with that lazy teasing drawl that made me smile whether I wanted to or not. "Well hello beautiful…what took you so long?"

"Oh please," I retorted, curling up on the couch in the living room. "As if you've been on pins and needles all day, waiting for me."

"Well I have. I was hoping you'd call when you got home yesterday, actually."

"Pushy, pushy," I laughed. "How was your weekend?"

"Just dandy. Yours?"

"Draining. Keeping up with my mother is like babysitting a pack of strung-out Chihuahuas. That's why you didn't hear from me until now, I've been recuperating."

"Ah, gotcha. Well if I remember correctly, you owe me a date, Miss Swan."

"Dang, you really do get straight to the point, don't you?" I settled down deeper into the couch and grinned; now that I'd set some ground rules for myself, _casually dating_ two gorgeous guys was actually proving to be pretty good for my ego.

"I haven't seen you for a week, so yeah, I'm getting straight to the point."

"Well then…what about dinner? I could come by your place and pick you up; I have a squeaky toy for Taylor." I rolled my eyes a little as I said this; part of my whirlwind weekend trip with Renee had included a visit to a pet boutique, even though Renee and Phil didn't have a pet. I hadn't even bothered asking why we were there, but I'd found a stuffed pink heart with _I Love My Daddy_ printed on it. It was cheesy as hell but I bought it anyway, knowing Edward would get a kick out of it.

"Yeah…uh…" He paused for a moment. "I don't know if that would be such a good idea, you coming over here."

I blinked. "Oh, um, okay?"

He cursed quietly. "Look, it's a long fucking story that I'll tell you later but I really don't think you should come over here by yourself, all right?"

I was beyond confused at this point. What in the world was his problem with me coming over to his apartment? It wasn't as though I hadn't been there before…granted it had been pretty late when we'd arrived before, but still…

"So instead, how about lunch, would lunch work? Tomorrow?"

I shook my head a little. He didn't want me at his apartment but he wanted to see me again that soon? "Sure, lunch sounds great. Do you want me to meet you somewhere? Or I could come pick you up at work?"

"Yeah, that sounds perfect if you don't mind, let me give you the address."

I hopped off the couch and grabbed a pen as he rambled off the address and told me the best way to get there from Coral Gables.

"Okay, got it. How does noon sound?"

"Noon works, my schedule is wide open until two o'clock. Just come on in to the front reception area and they'll page me."

We said our goodbyes, which involved in part Edward instructing me to go have naughty dreams about him, and then hung up. I sighed and laid my head back against the couch, rubbing the sore spot I had from my run-in with Carlisle's desk against the upholstery.

Naughty dreams about Edward and fantasies about Carlisle bending me over his desk.

I shook my head, wondering if I'd turned into a complete nymphomaniac overnight. I had to stop thinking about having sex or my head would explode, or maybe I'd end up humping Edward in the middle of the restaurant during lunch tomorrow.

I programmed the address Edward had given me into my Blackberry navigation and then, after a moment, dialed Charlie's number. It rang several times before he answered, sounding distracted. "Hello?"

"Hi Dad…is this a bad time?"

"Bells?" his voice lightened, he actually sounded pleased. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay, miss me yet?"

"Sure do, kiddo. So is Tampa everything you thought it would be?"

I took a long silent breath. Charlie had always been semi-oblivious to what was going on in my life, I'm not sure why I was even surprised by it anymore. "Miami, Dad, I'm in Miami. Do you still have my address? I wrote it down for you?"

"Uh, yeah, I probably have it here somewhere. Miami, right. What's the weather like?"

"Hot. Humid. Not like Washington at all."

"Huh," he grunted, and then there was a brief silence. "So I saw Jacob the other day."

I clenched my jaw and reminded myself that Charlie loved me and wasn't telling me this to intentionally hurt me or fuck with my head. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, he was down at La Push visiting Billy…he brought his new girlfriend."

I shut my eyes, an unexpected spike of pain slicing through me. "Oh."

"Nice enough girl but really…she has nothing on you. Nowhere near as pretty. I don't know what Jacob was thinking."

_Charlie loves me, Charlie is not trying to make me feel like shit, DO NOT hang up on Charlie…_

He chuckled. "Dull as dishwater too. Jake was an idiot, letting you get away."

I gritted my teeth. "He didn't let me _get away_, Dad. We broke up. It happens."

"Yeah but you two were so perfect together…"

I was starting to see red, but I tried to keep a lid on my temper. For a cop, Charlie had always been pretty clueless when it came to his own flesh and blood, and he wasn't known for his tact either. "Obviously we weren't, Dad, or we'd still be together. He cheated on me, and that was kind of a deal-breaker, you know?"

"Yeah," he grunted. "But you have to admit it was nice when you guys were together, and would come back to visit. What were the odds that you'd end up together, living so close to each other here and then meeting in Seattle? It was almost like fate."

I almost dropped my Blackberry at that point. Jacob's dad, Billy Black, lived down on the La Push reservation, but rarely made the trek into Forks. After Jacob and I had gotten together, Charlie had formed a friendship with Billy, bonding over their mutual love for hunching over fishing poles at unholy hours of the morning. It _was_ pretty strange that Jacob and I had never crossed paths before we met by coincidence in Seattle, but Billy and Charlie had turned into little old matchmaking ladies after we hooked up, declaring that we were _meant to be_ and other similar sentiments. I think those two had been the most disappointed when I'd called Charlie to tell him Jacob and I were through and I was heading for Miami.

"Dad…seriously…can we change the subject?"

"Yeah…I just thought it would make you feel better, knowing that _she_ is nowhere as great as you, Bells. Jake is a damn fool."

There was a compliment hidden in there somewhere, I knew it. But hearing that I'd been cheated on and dumped for someone uglier, more boring, and not as all-around awesome as me was _not_ helpful in the least. Even if nothing in the world would make me get back together with Jake, it still hurt.

"Well, I hope you kept your opinion to yourself, Dad," I said, a little more sharply than I'd intended. "Jacob and I are through. I'm dating again down here, and I really don't give a damn what he's up to."

"Hey, Bells, I wasn't trying to…"

"Dad…" I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself to calm down. Clueless wasn't the same as malicious, I had to remember that. "Just…I don't want to hear any more about Jake. I've moved on, and it doesn't help to hear about him."

I could practically hear rusty cogs and wheels creaking in Charlie's brain as he tried to process my outburst. "Well…if that's what you want, Bells…I just thought it would make you feel better, you know?"

"I know, I get it. Just…don't feel obliged to keep me updated on what he's up to, okay?"

"Right." An uncomfortable silence followed, Charlie and I had never been big on easy communication. "So you're doing all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I'll try to do a better job of keeping in touch."

He grunted again and I could hear a female voice in the background. "Oh…Sue says to tell you hi."

Sue Clearwater –now Swan- was my dad's new wife. He'd met her down at La Push after one of his many fishing trips with Billy...yet another tie to a former life I wanted so desperately to forget. "Um, yeah, tell her I said hi too. Listen, it's been a long day, Dad, I probably ought to go. I'll try and call more often, or you can call me anytime. I love you."

"Love you too, Bells. You take care of yourself…I hear there's an increase in crime down there in Tampa."

I groaned internally but let it go for the time being. "Right, okay. 'Bye Dad."

"Talk to you later, Bells."

I was sitting with my Blackberry pressed against my forehead when Alice ran in the front door, just ahead of another Florida rainstorm. "Ooooh, you look pissed, what's up?"

"Talked to Charlie," I muttered, sliding down to lay flat on the couch with my feet propped up on the back.

"Oh dear," she said pertly, running her hand through her spiky black hair. "And how are things back in Dullsville, USA?"

"Well…he felt the need to tell me that my replacement is uglier, duller, and just an all-around pale shadow of me."

"Umm…" Alice flopped down on the chair across from me. "Let me guess…he meant all this as a compliment, right?"

"Of course."

"And he just can't understand why you're so much better off without Jackass?"

"Naturally."

She cocked her head to the side. "Charlie never was the most perceptive person in the world."

"Nope," I sighed. "I didn't expect it would make me feel like crap, though."

"What do you mean?"

I half-shrugged. "I don't know…I don't want to get back together with Jacob, I'm not jealous or anything…it just hurt to hear about how easily I've been replaced."

Alice hummed in agreement. "That's understandable. Plus it would have been preferable to hear that his skank dumped him and he's wallowing in misery and regretting ever letting you go."

I shuddered. "That's not a premonition, is it? Because I really don't need him calling me or anything."

"Nah, just an observation," she replied cheerfully. "Know what would make you feel better?"

"What?"

"Sex!"

I laughed. "I'm not having sex with you Alice, how many times do I have to turn you down?" It was a running joke of ours.

She pretended to pout. "Oh _fine_, I suppose Jasper would be jealous now anyway. Well how about either one of those fucking gorgeous guys that are drooling over you?"

"No more sex…for the time being. Carlisle did almost get to second base today, though."

She squealed. "What? Where? And second base, is that dry-humping or just making out or what?"

"I think it's making out? I don't know…anyway, I went by to visit him at his new office and he sat me down on his desk and was about to have his wicked wicked way with me…" I paused, licking my lips salaciously, knowing that Alice was about to explode.

"_And…_"

"And then we were rudely interrupted by his elderly secretary!"

Her jaw dropped and then she started laughing. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope, hand-to-God, I really thought he was going to cry for a minute. I thought _I_ was going to cry for a minute."

"Wow…so he had you sitting on his desk…that sounds seriously hot, Bella."

"It was." I grinned at the memory. "And he had on his doctor's coat and everything."

Alice rolled her eyes. "You and this new doctor fetish you've developed. Okay, speaking of, how's the animal-doctor doing?"

"I talked to him right before I called Charlie, and we're having lunch tomorrow. I'm picking him up from work."

"Are you going to let him get to second base with you in the restaurant?"

"Hmm…maybe. Depends on how secluded the table is. Hey listen, since you're grilling me about _my_ sex life, what's up with you and Jasper? Has he tried doing any hobbit role-playing in bed yet?" Alice had told me all about the first time she'd managed to seduce Jasper, of course, but I hadn't gotten much more out of her.

She giggled. "He's the complete opposite of everything you've told me about Edward and Carlisle. He's so sweet and shy…it's just adorable. But he's got what it takes and he knows how to use it. And no, he hasn't tried any role-playing, except for the other night we, uh…" Alice's giggles abruptly ceased and her face turned fire-engine red.

"Mary Alice Brandon…you're blushing. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen you blush. _Spill it_."

She shook her head emphatically. "No way."

"I'll stop telling you about the two hotties I'm juggling," I threatened. She shook her head again and mimed zipping her lips. "Oh my God, it must be really good. I'll ask Edward, I bet Jasper told him _everything_."

"No!" she finally screeched.

"Tell me!"

"Not right now…ask me again the next time we're drunk, okay?"

"Oh, wow, it must be _kinky_," I teased, getting up from the couch. "And I _will_ be asking you about it again, you'd just better hope it's not in front of Jasper."

She glared at me. "Do it, and you die. Painfully."

I blew her a kiss. "I'm going to bed, goodnight sweetheart!"

**xoxoxoxoxo**

I arrived at the Humane Society promptly at noon the next day, dressed in a flirty little sundress that Alice had picked out in a fit of remorse over her refusal to dish about the kinky sex she and Jasper were having. I walked into the front lobby and then hesitantly over to the desk, wondering if I was supposed to ask for Edward, or Dr. Masen or what. Luckily for me, he was there behind the counter, handing over a manila folder to one of the techs. He grinned immediately when he saw me.

"Hey baby, you look amazing."

As soon as the words left his mouth, the head of every single employee present, all of them female, turned to look at me. I would have been embarrassed except that I was too busy appreciating what Edward was wearing. _Holy crap, vets wear white coats too? Oh my God, maybe I _am_ developing a doctor fetish!_ "Thanks, you look pretty good yourself."

"Except that I'm covered head-to-toe with cat and dog hair." He shrugged out of his coat and turned to one of the techs with the panty-dropper smile. "Bree, would you mind hanging this back up in my office for me?"

She snapped her eyes away from me. "Um, sure, no problem Dr. M."

"Thanks," he murmured, already coming around the counter towards me. Before I knew what he was doing, he'd grabbed me around the waist and was planting a _very_ hot possessive kiss on my mouth, even giving my lips a little swipe with his tongue before releasing me. I heard one of the techs choke back a giggle.

"Let's go get some lunch then. I'll be back in a bit, ladies!" He reached down and grabbed my hand, leading me out the front door.

"Ummm…what was _that_?"

"That's what we call an Oklahoma Hello, Ado Annie," he drawled.

"You greet everyone that way?" I was still a little breathless. Between Carlisle and now Edward, I was going to end up spoiled completely rotten when it came to saying hello.

"Nope, only you. Plus maybe now the entire female staff of the shelter will stop trying to climb down my damn pants, if they think I'm taken."

I scowled at him. "Just when I thought you were trying to be romantic…"

"Hey, that was pretty fucking romantic for me. Come on, let's take my car so I don't get dog hair all over your interior."

He held the door open for me and a moment later we were on our way. "So since when do you have that much of _Oklahoma!_ memorized?"

"Aw come on, I'm not a total barbarian. I could even give you a Persian Goodbye later, if you want." He leered at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, enough. Where are you taking me?"

"A nice little Mediterranean place…it's so close we probably could have walked, but I wasn't sure what kind of shoes you'd be wearing today."

I couldn't help but smile at him. "How very sweet of you. My feet appreciate it since my mother insisted on running me ragged while I was in Jacksonville."

"Yeah, that's what you said." He pulled into a tiny parking lot. "This place has great food, I get carryout at least once a week."

Confirming his words, the hostess greeted him by name and, at Edward's request, seated us in a tiny private booth, tucked back in the corner. The waitress appeared almost immediately with menus and took our drink orders, then the moment she walked away from the table Edward reached across the table and grabbed my hand again. "Hey."

"Hey yourself."

"Listen I, uh…I kinda owe you an apology."

I blinked, surprised. "Okay…what for?"

"After I got off the phone with you last night I realized that maybe what I said to you came off the wrong way. I mean, about not wanting you to come over to my apartment."

Oh _that_. "Well, I was curious about it, yes."

He nervously tapped his thumb against the table, still gripping my fingers with his other hand. "It's just…I have this fucking creep of a neighbor. A real sleaze. And he uh…he said something about you the other day. And I don't think he'd, like, try to molest you or anything but it made me nervous and…"

"Wait, wait, hang on," I interrupted. "What do you mean he said something about me? How does he know me?"

"He said something about seeing you when you left my place, you know, that first night."

"At five o'clock in the morning?"

"Yeah, like I said, he's probably a fucking creepy-ass vampire or some shit, staring out his peephole. And he said something about you and I…just do me a favor and don't show up unannounced, okay?"

I arched an eyebrow at him. "I don't make a habit of being _that_ rude, Edward."

"Shit, that's not what I meant," he hastily amended. "I mean, I want you to come over again…just, when I'm with you. Fuck, I'm saying this all wrong."

"No, it's okay, I get it," I replied slowly. The idea of a pervy neighbor staring at me through his peephole that morning gave me the creeps too. "No wandering around the building without you, I think I can live with that."

Edward exhaled heavily, but his thumb didn't stop tapping the tabletop and I noticed that his jaw was clenched. "Hey…what's wrong?"

"Bella, I…" he started, only to be interrupted by the waitress bearing our drinks and ready for our order. Without even looking at the menu I asked for a chicken fattoush salad, Edward ordered the house shawarama special. We handed over our menus and then sat in silence for a moment.

"Edward…I can tell you're upset about something," I finally said, wondering what in the world had him so uptight. There was tension in every line of his body now, and he gave my hand one final squeeze before heaving out a sigh and rubbing his palms over his face and then raking his fingers through his hair.

"Okay, I don't even really know how to start this," he said finally. "I don't…I mean, I have my friends and my pop and they know me and all my bullshit, but no one else does, and I prefer to keep it that way. But you…you're something special to me now, and I'm kinda hoping you'll be around for a while, and it's not really fair to you to…fuck, I'm not making any damn sense!" He banged his clenched fist down hard on the table, rattling our drinks and making me sit back in my seat. "I guess I'll spit it out and if you want to run for the hills, you can. Do you remember everything I told you last week about my mom?"

My mind ran backwards to our conversation over dinner, the anger he still felt towards his absentee mother had been more than evident, even with the little he'd said. "Yes."

"Okay, well evidently she's had some kind of epiphany and decided she wants to come visit me here. And I can't talk her out of it, and I don't know how to handle it."

"All right," I said slowly. "Back up a little. Why is she coming?"

He snorted in disgust and then reached both hands back across the table to me again. "I don't know. I mean, she says one thing but she probably means another…she's just…you have to know my mother."

"Do you want to tell me about her?"

Edward swallowed hard, and for the first time, I saw a brief flicker of raw vulnerability on his face. "What I told you over dinner…that's just the tip of the fucking iceberg. I'll give you the short version…remember I told you that my real dad, my biological dad, lives here in Miami? My mom was on vacation here with her family when she was seventeen and she met him. They either fell in love or it was a summer fling, depending on who you ask. When she went back to Chicago, I was already a bun in the oven, even though they didn't know it yet."

"Oh, wow," I said quietly.

"Yeah. So when my mom's parents found out, they flipped their fucking shit. They were old money, the elite of society and all that. The idea of their precious darling having a brat out of _wedlock_…" He spat the word out. "Well, they just weren't having it. So before my mother was too far along she and my grandparents hooked her up quick with a guy that had been crazy about her for a while, even though he was ten years older. One month later, boom, they were married."

"Why didn't they contact your father?"

He gave me a bitter half-grin. "He was too young, without a recognizable last name, and not enough money for their standards."

"Oh."

"So they got married and when I was born they did the whole _oh the baby was premature_ thing even though I doubt anyone bought their bullshit. I grew up thinking Edward Masen, Sr. was my father."

"Was he…?" I hesitated, not sure how far I ought to pry.

"Oh, he was a good guy," Edward said quickly. "He wasn't really around all that much with work and everything, but he was the only father I knew for a long time, and he was good to me. I mean, he was my _dad._ I loved him, he loved me in the weird-ass ways he had of showing it. He was just more the type to buy the jerseys for my Little League team than to actually show up for the games, you know?

"So life just kinda went on until I was eighteen, and he was diagnosed with lung cancer. It was fucking bad, they gave him about three months to live when they caught it. Towards the end, while he was still conscious, I went to see him in the hospital and he told me exactly what was in the will for me, not that I fucking cared. To me, my dad was laying there dying and he wanted to talk to me about _money_? I just didn't…"

He drew a long shuddering breath and I squeezed his hands gently. "Yes?"

"So my mom went in and talked to him after me, and when she came out, she was crying. She took me down to the hospital's chapel and she told me the real truth about who my dad was, said that the only father I'd ever known wanted her to tell me. That it was only fair to me. That it was his dying fucking wish or something. So I've got my dad dying of cancer only to find out he's not _really_ my dad, my dad is actually living in Florida and doesn't even have a clue I exist because my mother and grandparents are stuck-up assholes."

"Oh Edward," I said softly, my heart breaking for him. I couldn't even begin to imagine what he'd gone through at that moment.

"So my dad…I mean, I call him my stepdad, which isn't exactly _correct_ since they put his name on the birth certificate, but otherwise it gets confusing…his body pretty much shut down right after that. And then he died three days later. I stuck around for the funeral, I owed him that, and my mom guilt-tripped me into staying for the reading of the will, but then my ass was out of there. I drove to the airport, left my car there, and took the first flight I could get to Miami.

"I just wanted to get the fuck away from her, as far as I could. I enrolled at UM, I looked up my biological father based on what my mom had told me, and I tried to move on. I'm still _trying_ to fucking move on. And then she pulls this and comes barging back into my life. It's like every time I think I've gotten over what she did to me, how she made me feel like I was a trophy when she was in a good mood, a pain in her ass when she wasn't…then she has to go and do something like _this_?"

The waitress picked that moment to bring our lunch over, and starting on my salad gave me a chance to turn Edward's words over and over in my mind. He'd mentioned before that his mother had basically ignored him for his entire childhood, shipping him off to boarding schools and summer camps so she could flit around spending money and playing the role of a socialite. And although he hadn't spelled it out in so many words, the hurt that neglect had caused him ran deep and still affected him today. Finding out about his true parentage the way he had must have dissolved the last bit of attachment or loyalty he had to her.

"So why is she coming here now?" I asked finally.

Edward shrugged, picking at his shawarama. "She was crying when she called me, babbling some shit about wanting to make up for all the mistakes she's made, blah blah blah. I can't believe her, though, she may change her mind between now and then and decide our relationship is just fine the way it is. She's getting here sometime next week. I don't know how long she's staying, but her family has a house in Palm Beach so she'll probably head up there after she gets bored with me again."

I swallowed hard at the pain in his voice. As much as he tried to sport a nonchalant attitude about it, I could tell how much this upcoming visit was tearing him apart. Charlie and Renee may not have been the most attentive parents in the world, but I'd never felt unwanted or unloved. It was clear to me that Edward felt both, and had for a long time. I put down my fork and reached across the table to him.

"Hey," I said softly. "What can I do?"

He sighed and stroked my fingers and the back of my hand. "Nothing baby, just…I might not be around too much while she's here, for everyone's well-being. But…it made me feel better getting all that off my chest. You're one of very few people that know about all this shit, and it gets kinda tiresome after a while. I mean, it's not a part of my daily life, but when she chooses to play the caring mommy, she just fucks everything up."

"Well, let me know if you need anything, okay?"

A small smile curled up the corner of his mouth. "Anything?"

I scowled at him. "_Almost_ anything."

"Aww hell, and here I thought I'd found the key to an all-night pass to your bedroom." His earlier anger and frustration had completely vanished from his face as he turned _The Look_ on me full-force.

"Edward…do not make me throw my pita bread at you."

He laughed and the conversation lightened considerably after that. I gave him the squeaky pink heart for Taylor that I'd remembered to stuff in my tote, and his delight at the gift was obvious. He told me all about the shelter and his coworkers as we finished lunch and drove back, and then he offered me a tour.

"Are you sure? I don't want to take you away from work…"

"My next appointment isn't for another twenty minutes." He reached down and took my hand, lacing my fingers through his. "I'd like you to see where I spend my days."

We entered the building through a side door this time, and Edward showed me around, pointing out the room for the cats in their cages and the rows of kennels where the adoptable dogs were kept. A lump formed in my throat as the dogs came crowding up to the front of the kennels, tails wagging furiously, eyes begging for a friendly pat.

"I wish I could take them all home…you're amazing to be able to do this every day."

"Well, like I said, we always need foster homes if you want a test-run on adopting one…or we have volunteers who come in and take them for walks. For some of them, it's the only time they really get exercise out of the kennels."

"All I have to do is take them for a walk?"

"Yep, in the park next door. Are you interested?"

"Yeah, I think I would like to do something like that. Working from home can get pretty isolating, I have to remind myself to get out once in a while."

"I'll have our volunteer coordinator give you a call then, if that's okay." Edward checked his watch. "My next appointment is going to be here in a few minutes, let me walk you to your car."

We walked in silence back out to the parking lot to where I'd parked my car a little distance away, in one of the few shaded spots. I unlocked it and reached in to put the key in the ignition, starting the car so the air conditioning could get a head-start on cooling off the interior. Edward grinned. "You learn quick."

"Now that I _have_ air-conditioning in my car, I plan on using it," I retorted. "Hot and sweaty is _not_ sexy."

His green eyes darkened slightly. "I beg to differ…in fact, the memory of you hot and sweaty is one of my favorites."

The blush that I could feel climbing over my face had absolutely nothing to do with the thick humidity or the hot metal of the car behind me. "You say the sweetest things, Edward."

He lifted a finger and ran it gently over my cheekbone. "Bella…we're both adults here. We're attracted to each other and we've got great chemistry in bed. Not to mention I…I feel like I can trust you. I told you enough crazy shit at lunch to make you run screaming but you're just so amazing about everything. I've never known anyone like you and I…" He took a deep breath. "I want to get to know you better."

I knew that a seemingly-innocent statement like this was practically the equivalent of a marriage proposal for someone as commitment-phobic as Edward. "I want to get to know you better too, Edward, don't you know that?"

"What are you doing this weekend?"

"I don't have firm plans yet, why?"

"I was thinking…why don't you come over and we can spend some more time getting to know each other? In _and_ out of bed. I'll even barricade the door so my douchebag friends can't break in."

Even though the thought of spending the weekend in bed with Edward was tempting, warning bells were starting to chime faintly in the back of my head. The fact that I _wanted_ to have sex with both Carlisle and Edward again didn't mean I _could_…not unless I was willing to cut one of them loose. And that wasn't a decision I could make at that moment, standing in the middle of a parking lot.

"Edward I would really love to say yes to that, you have no idea how much."

He smiled lazily and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to his body. "So say it."

"But I can't."

His brow furrowed but his grip on my waist didn't loosen. "Why not?"

"I told you why not."

He looked confused for a moment; I was probably the first woman to have ever turned him down for sex. Then realization dawned over his face, followed quickly by a scowl. "You're still seeing that other guy?"

"Yes, and I…"

"Bella," he interrupted, "What the hell? Are you telling me you don't feel this, what we've got going between us?"

"Of course I do, but…"

"So what you've got with him is just as good as this? Jesus Christ, we're amazing together and you know it! Just fucking kissing you drives me crazy!"

"I know that, but what you're asking me isn't fair…"

"I put myself out there asking you this and you're saying what we've got isn't good enough?"

"What _are_ you asking me, Edward?" I snapped, finally losing my temper. "Because you weren't exactly clear on that. Are you saying you want me to date you exclusively or are you just mad that I turned you down for a weekend of fucking?"

"What? Neither one, I mean I…aw fuck!" He pulled me even tighter to him and then his lips were on mine again, effectively ending the conversation. His kiss was hot and hard and angry this time, his tongue all but forcing its way into my mouth as his free hand tangled in my hair to hold my head still. For a brief moment I considered giving him a stiff poke in the gut to get him off of me, but no sooner had the thought crossed my mind than his lips softened a little. The anger melted out of his kiss, replaced by a sweet urgency.

"Bella," he whispered, pulling back just enough to speak, "What are you doing to me?"

Any answers I would have tried to give him were silenced as he promptly moved his lips back to mine. This time he was gentler, nibbling carefully along my lower lip until I gasped a little and willingly opened my mouth to him. The hand that had been gripping my hair relaxed and moved down to lightly stroke my throat; my own fingers slid down and came to rest on his hips. I moaned softly and my body relaxed into him, he felt it and deepened the kiss in response. My heartbeat sped up as his tongue slid more gently back against mine; I had an almost visceral reaction to him now. Each time he kissed me, each time his fingers made my body quiver under his touch, it reminded me of that night...that one night we'd had together...

It wasn't until a wolf-whistle sounded from across the parking lot that I remembered we were in public, and at Edward's place of employment no less. I stiffened slightly, he pressed one last soft kiss to my lips before drawing away.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I shouldn't have mauled you like that. I just…I don't know what I want. When I'm with you it all kind of makes sense, but I can't change who I am overnight."

"Neither can I," I pointed out. "And you're forgiven. But there's no rush…we've got plenty of time to get to know each other."

"How about you introduce me to this other guy you're seeing? I'll follow him home and kick the shit out of him, problem solved."

"Oh my God, what…?" I looked up at him in shock, only to be met with the smirk I was more familiar with. "That's not funny!"

"I thought it was."

"Uh-huh. You're late for your two o'clock, Dr. Masen."

"Hmmm…" He leaned back in and nuzzled my neck. "It makes me horny when you call me that."

"Go away!" I laughed breathlessly, giving him a shove when he showed no sign of moving.

"When do I get to see you again?" he asked stubbornly.

"I don't know! Call me later this week, okay?"

"I will." Edward planted another kiss on my lips before stepping away and turning back towards the shelter, running his hand fiercely through his unruly bronze hair.

I got in the car, the interior now shockingly-frigid against my overheated skin. It was a welcome slap back to reality.

_What the hell was _that?

I needed to do some serious thinking, and fast.

I snapped on my seatbelt and was just about to put the car in reverse when my Blackberry rang inside my purse. I reached over into the front pocket, my eyes going immediately to the caller ID. The name there was one I'd meant to erase a long time ago, but had simply forgotten until this very second.

Jacob.

**x**

**x**

**x**

**A/N:**

**Kate:** As Bob Barker says, don't forget to spay or neuter your pets. Twin, does that include Jacob?

**Brits**: Um, I think in Jacob's case you should probably take him out to the back forty with a shotgun and a shovel...I never DID like that damn mongrel...

**Kate:** Me neither...that pickle-dick mofo is nothing but trouble! **Kate takes deep breaths** Okay, how about we talk about the **homework** we have for our darling readers instead?

**Brits**: Oh yes, of course! **points at readers** Don't think your only job out there is to sit back and revel in the fuckhotness of Edward and Carlisle. No, no, my friends, this is an interactive fanfiction. My twin and I will be writing a series of outtakes, smuttakes, dirty fantasies and whatever else you lovely ladies would like to see from Dirty Little Secrets, but didn't quite make it into the main story.

**Kate:** And as those of you who frequent the DLS thread already know, we've declared that ANYTHING GOES for the outtakes! Which brings us to the Very Very Serious Disclaimer now... Before anyone starts screaming ZOMG THAT'S GROSS, THEY'RE FATHER AND SON, YOU'D BETTER NOT WRITE A THREESOME OR I'M GONNA FLOUNCE! just remember that BELLA DOESN'T KNOW about that little fact...and besides, making something a 'dream sequence' makes it allllll okay in fanfic-land!

**Brits**: For realz, naked Edward and naked Carlisle are ALWAYS win in my book! Don't focus on the little things, ladies. Let's concentrate on the big...throbbing...hard things... **brits eyes glaze over**

**Kate:** Hey twin, speaking of which, did you see those new RPatz and PFach photoshoots that just came out... **drool** Oh wait, of course you did...we share those sort of things on PORNDAY over on the DLS thread! www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8305

**Brits**: Yes, everyone join us over on the thread. Porn, porn, DLS teasers, porn, porn. I really don't see the downside, ya'll...

**Kate:** And because we are generous pervs, if you follow us on Twitter (lazykatevamp and brits23) we'll even REMIND you about Pornday...and give you teasers...and heads-up on when new chapters will be up...all we ask from you in return is maybe a little pervy love in a review. Oh, and your outtake suggestions, of course.

**Brits**: Yeah, what she said! Leave us your review, along with your request for smut...I mean an outtake! We'd really appreciate it!

**Kate:** Love you guys, talk to you again very very soon!


	10. Manaconda

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

Chapter Ten - Manaconda

**BPOV**

**-x-  
**

Jacob.

I stared at my Blackberry as it rang cheerfully in my hand, flashing the caller ID image of him that it automatically pulled from his Facebook profile. He'd evidently changed it since we'd broken up…there was a plain-looking girl with long dark hair snuggled possessively into his side in this photo.

I made no move to answer the call, and when it stopped ringing, I clenched my jaw and waited. Sure enough, no more than twenty seconds later, the chime indicating that he'd left a voicemail sounded.

_Son of a bitch!_

I threw the phone back into my bag and put the car in reverse, then floored it out of the parking lot. I was halfway home before I realized I was going well over the speed limit, and I took a deep breath as I lifted my foot off the gas.

What the fuck did he want? What part of _ex_-girlfriend didn't he understand? Ex, as in out of his life, out of his house, tossed out like yesterday's newspaper. Moreover, what the hell was wrong with _me_? Why did I care if he had the duller, uglier, dumber version of me flashing on my caller ID? I'd moved on with not one but _two _sexy men, both of whom were practically bending over backwards to get me to commit in one form or another. Why did Jacob still have the power to do this to me?

_Because it's normal_, a small voice whispered in the back of my head. _You're allowed to be pissed off and hurt. You'd be lying if you said you weren't_.

But over _Jacob_?

I pulled into the driveway and slouched into the house, my happy buzz from earlier completely gone. Not even the memory of Edward's hot seductive kiss could shake me out of the ugly mood that settled over me like a black fog.

Tossing my bag onto the bed, I sat down at my computer and decided to work on bookkeeping, a chore I dreaded and always put off. I filed my self-employment taxes quarterly, which meant at least one day set aside to pulling out receipts and entering stacks of invoices. It was a pain in the ass, but today it was the exact mind-numbing busy-work that I needed, and I managed to transfer all the data into my accounting program. When my stomach started growling a few hours later, I got up and made a quick sandwich for dinner, remembering that Alice was going straight from work over to Jasper's.

I was just standing again, to take my empty plate back to the kitchen, when my Blackberry rang. I set the plate down on my desk and fished it out of the purse, only to be greeted with the picture of Jacob and his new girlfriend grinning at me _again_. Irritation flared through me in an instant, and this time I hit the green Answer button.

"Hello?" I snapped.

"Hello to you too," came Jacob's voice over the phone, his tone equally as irritated as mine. I shut my eyes and willed myself _not_ to hang up on him.

"What do you want, Jacob? I'm busy."

"Don't you check your voicemail anymore?" he demanded. "I seem to remember that you always have your Blackberry on you day and night. Work before pleasure and all that?"

"I didn't feel like listening to your voicemail." Jacob and I hadn't spoken since two days before my move to Miami, and hearing that long-familiar voice was unsettling, even through my anger. "So why _are_ you calling?"

"Jesus, why are you being such a bitch? If you'd listened to my message maybe you wouldn't be so cranky."

I gritted my teeth. "Spit it out."

"I was calling to let you know that I'm selling the condo. Since you contributed to paying the mortgage for the past four years, I wanted to send you a check for the amount you paid into it."

My jaw fell open and I blinked for a moment, completely speechless. Of all the things I'd allowed myself to consider that he might have called for, this hadn't even remotely been on the radar.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, I just…what brought this on? You could have given it to me before I left." I sank down on the bed.

"I don't know, I guess it didn't really cross my mind until now."

I rolled my eyes, _that_ was typical Jacob. "Why are you selling the condo?"

He hesitated for a moment. "We, uh…Leah and I…well, we want a bigger place."

_Leah_. The duller, uglier, dumber version of me had a name.

"She's actually the one who reminded me that I probably owed you some money from the sale."

Great, and she was apparently nicer than me too. Had I been in her shoes, I wouldn't have suggested sending a dime to the ex…maybe she was feeling guilty for helping him cheat on me. Whatever the reason, I wasn't going to turn it down, pride be damned. I _had_ contributed to half the mortgage for four years, and I'd be a complete fool to not accept it back. "Do you want my address?" I asked finally.

"Yeah, I'll send you a certified check as soon as it sells. We've already got someone who's interested, so it probably won't take very long."

"Um, that's nice," I said coolly. "Do you have a pen?"

He wrote down my address and promised to call as soon as he'd mailed the check out. "So, is everything else going okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine. You?"

"We're good. We're uh…" he paused. "This is awkward as hell, Bella, but I wanted you to hear this from me, not from Charlie. Leah and I, we're, uh, getting married."

My brain froze. "Oh." Was I supposed to say congratulations? Or maybe thank him for throwing me out _before_ he decided to launch himself into matrimony with my replacement just a few months after we broke up? "That's nice."

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting you to be excited or anything, but I wanted to be the one to tell you."

"Thanks for the heads-up," I finally ground out. "Listen, I've got to go."

"Okay. 'Bye, Bella."

"Goodbye." I dropped my Blackberry into my lap and then, to my horror, felt a prickle of tears burning in my eyes. What the hell was wrong with _me_? What was so awful about _me_ that the guy who'd dumped me was marrying my replacement just a couple of months later? Was I that much of a workaholic, like Alice always teased me, or had my aversion to commitment been evident to Jacob even back then?

I mean, Jesus, I had two gorgeous sexy guys both angling for some kind of established relationship and I wouldn't consider it for either one. If that wasn't a sign, nothing was.

I shut my eyes and took a few long deep breaths. This self-pity was _not_ part of the No Regrets plan. Anything separating me further from Jackass was supposed to be a good thing. But then again…his news had knocked the wind out of _those_ sails.

After a moment, I picked up my Blackberry again and dialed Alice's number. She hadn't mentioned that she and Jasper were doing anything special that evening, so I didn't feel guilty about the need to share the shitty news. I just needed a sympathetic ear, a reminder about Jacob's pickle-dick, and I would be fine. Really, I would.

Alice's phone rang repeatedly until finally her chirpy voicemail picked up, and I ended the call without leaving a message, scowling. She and Jasper were probably too busy making hobbit porn to bother answering.

I stood up and began pacing around the small room, my agitation growing. I was half-tempted to go grab a bottle of vodka from the kitchen and drown my sorrows, but I knew I would probably end up drunk-dialing Jacob if I did, more than one humiliating past experience had taught me that.

After a moment, I snatched the phone back up and dialed Carlisle's cell phone number, wondering if he would be available for a last-minute date that night. Nothing serious, nothing heavy, just dinner and a friend to commiserate with. Although we hadn't shared too many secrets from our respective pasts, I could tell he had a gift for knowing when to listen and when to offer advice. It was one of the many reasons I liked him so much, why I knew that no matter what ended up happening between us, that he would always remain my friend.

Carlisle's phone rang only twice before his calm measured voice instructed me to leave a message, or to dial 911 if it was an emergency.

"Hi Carlisle, it's Bella…I know you're probably right in the middle of something if you're not answering your phone, so I…" I swallowed hard; even I could tell that my voice sounded strange. "I'm sorry I bothered you, even though I guess I didn't…anyway, I'll talk to you later, it's no big deal. 'Bye."

The silence of the house after I hung up again only served to emphasize the fact that I was by myself, all alone, having a pity party at a table for one. _Fuck this!_

I threw my phone back into my purse and headed out the door, thankful that the height of rush hour was over. I had absolutely no idea where I was going, and I didn't care. I just wanted to be around people: maybe I'd go find some random little ethnic restaurant and reassure myself that _I_ could go out for dinner by myself, that _I _was a strong independent woman, that _I _could calm myself down from whatever temporary insanity Jake's phone call had brought out in me.

Unfortunately those plans all went completely out the window when, forty-five minutes later, I found myself sitting downtown in the mother of all unholy traffic jams. Alice hadn't called me, and neither had Carlisle. Traffic had been at a completely standstill for the past twenty minutes, the perfectly rotten cherry on top of the day.

_Fuck!_

I huffed and turned the air conditioning down, then eyeballed the area around me, wondering if there was a restaurant, store, or some other spot I could park at and pass the time with until this mess cleared. The area looked vaguely familiar, but I wasn't quite sure why until I craned my neck to assess the high-rises around me and realized where I was.

Right outside Wind Tower.

_No, Bella, don't even _think_ about it! _

But there were shops on the first eight floors, I remembered Edward telling me that, or maybe I could see if Blue World was open this early…

_Edward is _not _the person you want to boo-hoo-hoo about Jacob to_.

And why not? He was no Carlisle when it came to empathy, but he'd been open and honest over lunch, and he'd gotten a lot better about dropping his douchebag playboy image around me.

_He's probably not even home! _

Well, in that case, I'd mosey down to Blue World and see if I couldn't find a new friend, since my list of ones to call on was apparently tragically short.

I'd left a decent space between me and the car in front…thanks to many How to Prevent a Carjacking tips from Charlie…and managed to wiggle out of the line of traffic to pull a U-turn into the opposite lanes, putting me directly in front of the entrance to Wind Tower's parking structure. Luck was shining on me now; I found a spot right next to the first set of elevators and was zooming upwards within minutes.

I changed over to the residential elevators when I reached the ninth floor and punched the button for the twenty-second level, amazed that I remembered exactly which floor he lived on. I'd been more than a little distracted the last time I took this elevator ride upwards, after all.

With a quiet chime and soft whoosh, the doors slid open and I marched resolutely down the hall, again pleasantly surprised that I remembered which apartment was his. There weren't too many on each floor, though; they were all obviously spacious and the front doors were set fairly far apart. I hadn't noticed much beyond Edward's bedroom that first night, but he'd told me that he'd inherited quite a fortune from his late father. It was obvious where some chunk of it had gone.

"Hey there, I remember you."

I whirled around with a startled gasp; the hall had been empty when I'd exited the elevator, and I hadn't heard anyone emerge from their apartment.

The oily-sounding voice belonged to an equally-oily-looking man, the kind that practically had a neon sign flashing _PERVERT_ over his head. He looked to be in his fifties, although he was wearing a tight Ed Hardy shirt that strained desperately over his gut, and one of the worst sets of hair plugs I'd ever seen dotted his obviously-receding hairline. The straggling remains of his real hair was pulled back into a limp ponytail, and a creepy smirk was growing on his face as he began sauntering towards me.

"Eddie's girl, huh? He must have you on speed-dial."

I took an instinctive step back, suddenly realizing that this was the creepy-ass neighbor Edward had warned me about; the bad vibes coming off of him were palpable. "It's none of your business."

His eyebrows went up. "Aww, c'mon honey, don't be like that. I'm an important guy."

"Where, at the local titty bar?" I retorted, taking another step back as he slid closer to me.

"Nah, I'm a doctor. A _real_ one, not some animal doctor like Eddie. And I could show you a real good time, honey, I guarantee it. Eddie sure seemed to appreciate your efforts that one night…he told me so later. I think he was talking about you, that is…it's hard to keep track with the regular parade of sweet young things coming in and out of his place."

My stomach roiled for a moment before I remembered Edward's warning about this weirdo. "Are you _trying_ to be a revolting creep? Because it's working, really well."

Anger flashed across his face. "Hey, don't kill the messenger, sweetheart. Eddie's lived across the hall from me ever since I got him into this place. It's not my fault you weren't the first or last to twitch your fine little ass through his door."

Even knowing what I knew about this jerk, I couldn't deny what was the truth of his words, and they hit me like a punch to the stomach. I'd thought the traffic jam had been the last shitty thing in my day, but obviously I'd been wrong. All the emotion of the past few hours came boiling up inside of me again, and I concentrated all my hurt, anger, and frustration at the slimeball in front of me.

"Listen, asshole, unless you want me to rip out those cheap-ass hair plugs and jam them down your throat _before_ I kick you in the balls, I suggest you ooze your way back into your apartment and leave me alone."

Disbelief and then absolute fury contorted his puffy features. "Fuck you, you stuck-up bitch! As if I'd take Eddie's sloppy seconds anyway…like anyone would want a frigid pussy like you. Even Eddie, and God knows he's not picky." He began backing away from me, towards the door across the hall and down a few yards. "Consider your opportunity blown, sweetheart, and tell Eddie and whatever hooker he's got in there now that I said hello." With that, he fumbled for his doorknob and slipped into his apartment, slamming the door behind him.

I stood frozen for a moment, breathing hard, willing back the tears that were threatening yet again to spill down over my cheeks. The creep obviously stared as religiously out his peephole as some grannies listened in on police scanners…did Edward actually have someone in there with him now? Did the perv's words have some merit? Edward hadn't denied it last week when I'd called him out on seeing other women since our one-night-stand...fuck it, there was only one way to find out.

Completely foregoing a polite knock, I banged on Edward's front door with my closed fist, hard. There was an immediate series of delighted yaps from Taylor, and I could hear Edward's muffled voice, sternly commanding her to sit. The deadbolt slid back and then there he stood, still dressed in his work clothes, although he'd undone the top few buttons of his dress shirt, and his hair was even more disheveled than it had been earlier. He looked tired, but his expression immediately morphed into one of surprise, and then delight.

"Bella?"

That was all I needed, all I wanted, in that very moment. Me, someone wanted _me_. Someone was happy to see _me_.

I didn't give him a chance to say anything else before I was in motion, launching myself against his hard body, everything I so desperately needed in the feeling of his arms wrapped securely around me.

**-x-**

**-x-**

**-x-**

**EPOV**

So there I was, inhaling my kung pao chicken like a starving man lost in the desert, when suddenly a loud pounding sounded out against the other side of my door.

I turned down the game that was blaring from my flat screen and looked at the front door in confusion. My best friends were permanently attached to their women's titties and my pop was busy as hell with his new practice. Who else would come to see me on an ordinary Tuesday evening?

A sick and twisted thought occurred to me, like maybe Esme decided to arrive early and pound the final nail into the mindfuck coffin. I snapped out of my daze only to see my baby girl going bat-shit crazy and barking her yap off. "Put a lid on it, Tay-Tay," I grumbled, standing up as she blatantly disregarded my command.

"Taylor Marie, sit…_now_!" I growled, finally earning her obedience as she pouted up at me. I patted her head. "Don't make me yell at you like that, babe. You can't go crazy whenever people stop over."

I walked to the door and undid the locks, not even bothering to check the peephole. Truth be told, I didn't really care who was on the other side of it. My day was long as fuck and even though I had a little slice of Bella to brighten it up, I was two seconds away from passing the hell out before this unknown person started banging the shit out of my door.

And then I was sure that I was dreaming.

Or maybe good shit did happen to the miserable bastards in this world.

Because there _she_ was.

Disheveled and slightly frantic, but here. And gorgeous as ever.

"Bella?" I murmured, only realizing seconds later that duh, dipshit, it's obviously Bella.

And then she was on me.

She launched herself at me and I groaned in surprised delight as her legs wrapped around my waist and her hands moved over my shoulders, sliding past them until the back of my shirt was twisted in her little fists. She pushed her nose into the crook of my neck and let out a shuddering sigh, followed by a string of profanities that not only made me smile, but kinda turned me on as well.

My smile instantly fell, though, when I realized she was shaking. "Hey…what happened, baby?" I questioned softly, pulling her tighter around my body once I felt her warm tears covering my skin.

She lifted her head to meet my gaze and I swore I could almost feel my heart cracking in my chest. Her big brown eyes were bloodshot, a stream of tears now falling steadily down her cheeks as her bottom lip trembled. "Have you ever had a day that started out significantly well, only to have it snowball into a heaping pile of bullshit?"

I reached up to smooth away her fallen tears as my brow furrowed in sympathy. "Yeah, all the time. Although I hope your day didn't go to shit because you had lunch with _me_."

She offered me a small smile. "No, it wasn't you…"

Realizing the door was still open, I reached behind her to close it gently. The last thing I needed was that fuckhead neighbor of mine to see Bella like this. I adjusted my grip on her and looked at her carefully, hoping like hell she wasn't ready for me to put her down. It just felt so fucking natural to have her legs wrapped around me. "What can I do to make you feel better, Bella? I'll listen if you want to talk, I'll let you punch me if you need to work out some of that frustration, or I'll just sit here and hold you tight. Just tell me…"

"I don't know." She let out a quivering sigh as her eyes clenched briefly. "I just want…"

The air was growing hot and thick against my skin. The room was closing in with each passing second that my eyes held her gaze. My fingers danced along her body as I pressed her to me and licked my lips, anxious for the next words to fall from her sweet mouth. "Tell me what you want, baby," I breathed.

"Right now...at this moment...I just need you to make me feel like it's not me against the world. I just want it all to go away."

And then her lips were on mine.

Everything happened so fast and my mind was in some sort of fucking Bella-induced whirlwind, too confused to process the meaning behind her frustration. But it really didn't matter, she had her tongue in my mouth and hands in my hair and hips pushing her hot body against mine. My response to her was always immediate; I'd been hard since the second she'd jumped me in the doorway.

I moaned into her mouth as she slid her hands between us and began pulling at my shirt haphazardly. She let out a primitive grunt and everything became even more urgent the second I heard the buttons of my shirt sound out against the hardwood floors.

I pushed her back firmly against the door and grabbed her by the ass, pulling her tight against me until I was grinding my aching dick in slow, heavy gyrations against her heat.

I remembered the shape of her so fucking well. Every noise, every curve, every scent…

God I wanted this woman. No, I fucking _needed _her. I was suddenly convinced that I'd never known the meaning of that word until my eyes had fallen upon her pale skin clad in sinful red that first night at the club.

In that second my need for her was my master, and if I had it my way, I would be hers.

I dragged my teeth down the slender column of her neck and she cried out from the mixture of pleasure and pain. She reciprocated with a sharp tug to my hair as her hips thrust against me. "Take me…take me to your bed," she gasped.

I complied instantly, gripping her tightly beneath her round little ass and pinning her against me as we kissed sloppily down the hallway. We were moaning and desperate as I pressed her against my bedroom door. Every inch of my skin was on fire and the way our bodies fit together was like fucking magic. She couldn't deny this. She couldn't tell me she didn't feel the way we fit together, that she didn't burn for me the way I did for her.

It was all that my mind could focus on, and as her hands pulled frantically at my belt buckle, I reminded myself where our final destination would be. My California King.

My lips were already raw from the way she was biting and sucking them. She was like a woman possessed as she maneuvered herself against my body in all the right ways. I dropped both of us onto the bed in a heap, my body reluctant to be away from hers as I moved over her heavily. My eyes rolled back in my head as she palmed me through my pants, her fingers digging into me so viciously it either made me want to cry or cum, I couldn't be sure.

I slid down her body and lifted her little dress until it was bunched beneath her breasts, my lips sucking hard against her abdomen and sliding lower until my mouth was hot and wet over her lacy black panties. Bella cried out loudly and gripped my hair, pushing my head further between the apex of her thighs.

I ignored her unspoken demand, crawling back up her body and pressing my lips gently to hers, waiting for her eyes to meet mine before I released my kiss.

And then I looked past my throbbing erection to see something more.

To see her pain.

Tears were still leaking from beneath her long lashes as her chest heaved against mine. Her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth and her fingers were wrapped so tightly in my shirt that her skin was turning white from the exertion.

A sharp pang of guilt shot through my gut when I realized what this was, and what I almost did.

Because this wasn't about me or our _need_ for one another. This was about her and whatever shit hand she'd been dealt today.

"Bella," I whispered, arching my hips up off of hers as she continued to grind against me.

Her eyes still wouldn't open.

My heart felt like it would beat out of my chest, not only because I had the girl of my dreams pinned beneath me, but because of the fact that she was more or less using me to work out her frustrations. No, I couldn't think of it like that but truthfully, what else did I expect? Wasn't I the one propositioning her every chance I got? Wasn't I the one leering at her and grabbing at her and making her think my number one priority was getting in her pants?

I had no one to blame but myself.

I untwisted my shirt from her fists and rubbed them soothingly, lifting my body farther from hers as I gazed at her intently. "Bella, please…" I begged.

She finally opened her eyes and looked at me in confusion. "What is it?"

"We can't…I can't do this, baby. Not like this."

"What do you mean?" she asked hastily, rising up on her elbows and pressing her chest tighter against mine.

"This isn't right, Bella. You're upset and you want me to make your pain go away, but I won't do it like this. I refuse to take advantage of you…you mean more to me than that."

She gazed at me with confusion in her eyes before it shifted to pure rejection. "You…you don't want me?"

I let out a harsh laugh, barely resisting the urge to roll my eyes. My lips moved against hers slowly as I took her hand, sliding it down between us until it was pressed against my aching cock. "Bella…I fucking _want _you. God, do I want you," I breathed against her lips.

Tears slid from her eyes as I pulled back a bit, looking at her intently. "But baby, I want you to want me too."

"I _do_," she insisted. "I do want you, Edward."

"The next time we have sex, I want it to be because we get lost in _our_ passion, in _our_ connection. Not because life's been treating you shitty and you're looking for an out. I'm trying to be noble and shit, so throw me a bone here," I grinned crookedly.

My smile fell the instant she pushed me _hard_; hard enough to send my ass toppling off the mattress and onto the floor. I looked up at her in confusion as she knelt on the edge of my bed. I wanted to beg her not to Lorena Bobbitt me, but I got the feeling that would only make her want to do it more.

"Oh you have _got_ to be fucking kidding me!" she laughed, almost maniacally. "So you can bring in some random skank to fuck whenever and however you see fit, but the girl you claim to 'care about,' you refuse to be with?"

I must have been a fucking sight in that moment. Tattered dress shirt hanging limply from my torso, my cock pitching an enormous tent in my black dress pants, and my mouth hanging open in complete and utter bewilderment. "What the hell are you talking about, woman? I haven't been with any skanks since the second I realized I wanted more from you than a good lay!"

Bella threw her hands up and lunged off the bed, pacing the length of my bedroom. "Oh really? Because that's not what your neighbor told me. He had no problem whatsoever with airing your dirty laundry, Edward Masen! I'm surprised I didn't walk into some sort of gang-bang considering I showed up unannounced!"

I stood up hastily, crossing the room until I was standing in front of her. "Wait a minute, you talked to James?"

"Yeah, he cornered me in the hallway and tried to convince me to get on him in not so many words. Until I told him I was going to shove his hair plugs down his throat. But don't change the subject!"

I grabbed her arm and narrowed my eyes as my chest heaved in anger. "Didn't I warn you not to roam around my hallway unattended? Bella, if he fucking laid a finger on you, I swear to Christ…"

She rolled her eyes. "Please, Edward. If you don't think I can handle your perverted neighbor, then you clearly don't know me very well. I just can't understand why a guy that I'm dating won't fuck me when he obviously wants to! Isn't that what you're always aiming for when it's all said and done? Well here I am, big boy, have at me!"

I gripped my hair in a tight fist and fought like hell to keep my cool, speaking in a low, deep voice. "We're more than just a _fuck_, Bella. And yeah, I may tell you every time I see you how badly I want you in my bed again - but I _always_ want more than sex when it comes to you. And I'm sorry if you feel like all I'm good for is a romp in the sack. I'm sure that's mostly my fault because of the never-ending slew of insinuations I throw your way. Maybe I should have been more clear with my intentions."

"Yeah," she chuckled harshly, slowly walking backwards and away from me. "Maybe you should have. But now I'll never need to know what your _intentions_ were."

My heart jumped into my throat as I processed her words. This was _not _fucking happening. "Bella, will you stop?"

"Just let me go, Edward," she demanded, quickening her steps to the bedroom door without giving me a second glance.

Luckily, I was faster. I reached over her head and slammed the door shut, trapping her between it and my body. I leaned down until my bottom lip was ghosting along her earlobe. "You want to break away from me because you think I'm rejecting you? Because you're embarrassed by the fact that I said _no_? That's bullshit, Bella. If I was the slimy motherfucker you think I am, then we'd be wrapped up in my sheets right now and I'd be buried so goddamn deep inside you...but I respect you enough to know that your head isn't in the right place to take that crucial step in our relationship. Is that really how you want to play it? Demand that I fuck you or you ditch? Well that's not going to fly with me." I took a deep breath and rested my temple against hers, sliding my hands down her arms. "I'll make it go away, baby, but first you need to tell me what I'm helping you erase."

Bella sighed deeply, pressing her forehead against the door. Minutes passed with our complete silence until finally she turned and threw her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. "I'm sorry I lost it," she whispered hoarsely, pulling me tighter as my arms surrounded her.

"Don't apologize to me, Bella," I murmured, kissing her ear. "I'm pretty much spastic every second I'm in your presence anyway. You do that to me."

She let out a shuddering sob and pushed her face tighter against my neck. "I never intended on coming over here and jumping you. I just needed a friend and your neighbor propositioned me and then called me a stuck-up bitch when I turned him down, which only added to my rage since my ex decided to call me today and tell me that he was marrying the girl he dumped me for. A girl who is a carbon copy of me except she's plain and boring and exceptionally _less_. Shit, maybe I _am_ a stuck-up bitch. But more than anything I'm pissed at myself for letting Jacob make me feel worthless. A guy who I was never entirely into to begin with is making me feel like I'm _nothing_…and that's on me. So really, I'm just pissed at myself. And once everything added up and I knocked on your door…I just wanted you to hold me, because somehow you have this way of making me feel safe, and I used that to my advantage. I'm so sorry."

I was hit with a myriad of emotions in that moment. I was irritated as hell because some loser ex-boyfriend of hers had made her feel insignificant, and I was jealous because she was upset about said ex in the first place. But mostly I felt a blinding, burning rage spread throughout my body like wildfire. A growl built deep within my chest as I crushed her to me. "Are you telling me that motherfucker James called you a _bitch_?"

She chuckled. "Is that all you took from my incoherent rambling?"

I kissed her forehead and broke our embrace, hell bent on pounding that bastard's door down and beating him to a bloody pulp. _No one _talked about my fucking girl that way. "I'll kill him," I said darkly, breathing heavily through my nose as I threw open my bedroom door.

I heard Bella calling my name behind me, but my fury had made every sight and sound nothing but a muffled blur. However, when she jumped on my back and yelled in my ear to "stop going caveman," she managed to stop me in my tracks.

I slid her down my back and turned to face her. I felt my body immediately relax the moment I took in her amused expression. "You're as red as a beet, Edward," Bella chuckled, reaching down to pat my dog who was now at our feet, whining and thumping her tail, begging for attention.

I shook my head and grumbled beneath my breath, walking swiftly to the kitchen and opening the cabinet above the fridge. "Get your gorgeous ass in my bedroom and pick out a good CD. I'm going to put Taylor in her room and I'll be there in a second."

She looked at me quizzically. "Why, did you change your mind?"

I looked over my shoulder and shook my head, smiling at her crookedly. "No, baby. You've had a shitty day and I'm ready to go homicidal, so we're going to get our drink on and drown this shit out. Are you game?"

She tapped her mouth with her index finger before a wry smile twisted her pink lips. "Hmm…I'll drink to that."

I didn't take my eyes off of her for a second as she sauntered into my bedroom and closed the door behind her.

Goddamn, that girl drove me crazy.

**-x-**

**-x-**

**-x-**

An hour later and I was feeling pretty stellar. All of my bedding had ended up in a pile on the floor with Bella and I sprawled out on top of it, passing a bottle of scotch back and forth. The mellow sounds of Sinatra were floating throughout my surround-sound speakers and the lights were dimmed as I listened to Bella speak. I felt my eyes crinkling around the edges as I watched her, something that Emmett had warned me was a sign of the monogomies. Somehow it didn't matter.

"So basically he was like, 'Oh, I'm giving you money for the mortgage and I'm getting married.' And this girl…I'm sure she's very sweet and all but I don't get the appeal. Not that I'm complaining. If he didn't break up with me, it was only a matter of time before I got the hell out of there."

I shook my head, taking a pull from the bottle. "It doesn't add up, Bella. My theory is, this Jake fucker is as gay as the day is long, and the plain girl is his beard. He's gotta like dick if he broke up with someone as gorgeous as you."

"You're biased," she smiled lazily.

"Maybe I am. Doesn't change the fact that you're sexy as hell and this ex of yours is a moron."

"And a pickle-dick," she added.

I raised my eyebrows. "For real? Like an honest to God _pickle_?"

She winced and nodded. "I've never seen anything like it."

"Huh, I wonder if he's kosher," I muttered.

Bella laughed loudly and let out a snort, her eyes widening in horror before she covered her mouth. I threw my head back and chuckled obnoxiously. "Did you just _snort_?"

"Shut _up_," she growled, slapping my shoulder. "It was funny!"

"I'm glad I could amuse you," I murmured, sliding my arm around her shoulders and pulling until her head was on my chest. "So going from a pickle-dick to my manaconda must have been quite a shock for you."

She lifted her head and looked at me like I was insane. "You did _not_ just refer to your penis as a _manaconda_, did you? Because I'm leaving if you did." Her beaming smile told me otherwise.

I leaned forward and kissed her lips softly. "Do you have a better descriptor, baby? If you do, I'm all ears."

I pulled back slightly and found her eyelashes sweeping against her cheekbones as she smiled. "You are such a dork."

I felt a fluttering in my chest as the air thickened between us, my eyes closing as I let my bottom lip rest against hers. "I'm a dork," I whispered, my tongue darting out to slide between both of our lips. "But I'm the dork you tried to get on not even two hours ago."

"Are you ever going to let me live that down?" she murmured, pressing her forehead against mine as our bottom lips slid together but never finished their kiss.

"Not anytime soon."

She hummed quietly and my breath caught in my throat. "Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"You taste like scotch and cherries."

"Mmm…lip gloss and booze," she murmured hazily.

"Can I have more?"

She looked up at me from beneath her lashes and pulled my bottom lip between her teeth.

And then we were kissing.

Soft and slow, tongues sliding together and sharing their reign instead of fighting for ownership. She pulled me closer by the collar as I slid my hands up her back and buried them in her hair. The room was filled with nothing but Frank crooning a sweet song and our soft moans of pleasure.

I slid my mouth to her chin as she gasped for breath, my lips making a trail along her neck until I was sucking on the curve of her shoulder. I nudged the strap of her dress to the side with my nose and tasted this amazing girl, wishing I could taste her everywhere and knowing that patience would inevitably be my fucking virtue. No matter how blue my balls got.

"It feels so good to kiss you," I whispered, dragging my tongue along her neck until my lips were moving behind her ear. "When you're ready, Bella, I'm going to make you feel so fucking good. Anything you want, it's going to be yours."

Her nails dug into the back of my neck as she pulled me against her body, moaning softly as I sucked her earlobe into my mouth. "Come back up here," she breathed.

I groaned as she pushed me until I was lying flat on my back, her body hovering over mine as she kissed me with long, deep strokes of her tongue. I rubbed her back slowly, from the base of her neck to the curve of her ass and back again, just reveling in her sounds and her perfect body nestled against mine.

We kissed like that for minutes or hours, I couldn't be sure. I was lost in the soothing melodies floating throughout the room and the way her heated skin felt against mine. Our hands were gentle and our mouths were hungry as we made out like a couple of teenagers. Finally we broke apart with chaste kisses, exhausted but happy as we gazed at each other.

"Stay with me," I whispered, searching her dark brown eyes intently. "You're sleepy and half-drunk, and I haven't had the pleasure of waking up with you beside me. Just…please stay?"

Her eyes opened and closed lazily, contemplating my request. It was obvious she was tired but I was hoping she'd have other reasons for staying.

"No funny business?" she questioned, arching her eyebrow playfully.

"Scout's honor," I smiled crookedly, holding my scout fingers up with one hand and pinching her ass with the other. I laughed as she let out a startled squeak and I quickly redeemed myself. "Anyway, I'm kinda buzzed myself and _way_ too tired for anything other than a cuddle. You interested?"

She leaned forward until the tips of our noses were touching. "Yeah," she whispered, "I'm interested…on one condition."

"Name it."

"Let's sleep right here on the floor, on top of all the blankets - like a slumber party."

I chuckled. "Does this mean we get to have a pillow fight in our underwear?"

Bella scoffed. "Girls don't actually do that, you know."

I clasped my chest as if she wounded me. "Oh baby, please don't take that away from me. It's one of the only fantasies that men still keep alive."

She rolled her eyes and I couldn't help but kiss her because she was so fucking cute when she did that. I didn't break our gaze as I shut the radio off with the remote and reached above me to turn off the lamp by my bedside. Once we were settled in and Bella was securely tucked beneath my arm, I let out a deep sigh of contentment.

It was really goddamn scary…how good it felt to have her like this.

"You want something to sleep in?"

She shook her head. "No, let's stay like this."

"Okay," I whispered, pressing my lips to her hair as I pulled her tighter. "Bella…did I help?"

"What?" she mumbled.

"Did I help take it away?"

"More than you know," she sighed, burrowing her face into my chest. "Goodnight, Edward."

"Night, Bella."

Thirty seconds later, I was singing quietly. "_My manaconda don't want none unless you got buns hon_…"

Her giggle was like music to my ears as she slapped my chest. "Dork," she whispered.

I smiled like an idiot until I was finally pulled into a deep sleep…my dreams filled with nothing but the perfect girl lying by my side.

**-x-**

**-x-**

**-x-**

**A/N:**

**Brits**: My manaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon! **Brits shakes her rump** You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt...Oh sorry, Playboyward got me all worked up over his um, trouser-snake...NOM NOM.

**Kate**: **gives twin whipcrack/buttslap** BRITS! Focus, woman, focus! On the slumber party on the floor...on the hair-plug king...on the pickle-dick...ON WHERE THE FUCK DR. MCYUMMY WAS IN BELLA'S TIME OF NEED?

**Brits whistles innocently** Well, I'd tell you where he was, twin, but I can't say you'd like it very much, heh heh. :D

**Kate**: You'd better not be telling me he was at Esme's...OR IN YOUR BED...WITHOUT ME! **deathglare**

**Brits**: Eww, he wasn't with Esme! And he wasn't in my bed...and he DEFINITELY wasn't on my floor, kitchen table, OR washing machine! (What? I'm kinky like that!)

**Kate**: Huh, I guess we'll have to wait until the next chap to find out, then...anyone got any theories on that? In the meantime, though...

**Brits**: Yes, while I send Dr. McYummy to discuss the next chap with Kate (and by discuss I mean hump), why don't you guys drop us a line in the form of a review, letting us know what you thought of our epic cockblock (sorry 'bout that) and what you think that little slumber-party might mean for B and E.

**Kate**: Or how awesome a CxExKxB(rits) -B(ella) slumber-party would be? Party on, Brits!

**Brits**: OMG that sounds all kinds of kinky! We better stock up on the booze!

**Kate**: I already sent Playboyward to the lick-her, uhh, liquor store. We're good to go! Oh, and by the way, I bear a sooper-sekrit message...  
**coughBRITS-LAID-BARE-PPSS-GO-READ-NOWcough**

**Brits**: Hmm...I didn't quite catch that. Anyway, you can follow us on Twitter (lazykatevamp and brits23) cuz we are awesome, pervy hoors, that's why! Also stop by the DLS thread for some porn and teasers! www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8305

**Kate**: What she said! Talk to you soon, lovelies!


	11. The L Word

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder-Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**Chapter Eleven - The L-Word  
**

**CPOV**

As I collapsed into my desk chair on Tuesday evening, I couldn't help but wonder at what point this would get easier. Nothing could replace the freedom I felt over owning my own business, but the long hours were starting to take their toll. I wanted my practice to reflect me as a person. I wanted to establish the fact that I wasn't money hungry or corporate-minded by any means. And to prove that meant I had to spend an endless amount of time showing the patients what my staff and I stood for.

Two months ago I would have welcomed the extended hours. I had always been one to stay busy, especially when it came to the profession I enjoyed so much. But now that Bella had wiggled her way into my heart, my need for something more than a gratifying career had made its presence known.

Oftentimes, when the sun had set and I was elbow deep in paperwork, I wondered what it would feel like to leave before nightfall. To go home and change into something other than dress clothes and spend an evening with the woman that mattered most to me.

It was still unclear whether Bella and I would end up in a relationship together, but even I couldn't deny the gleam in her eyes when she looked at me. There was something there, and it was comfortable and heartwarming and _right._

If things progressed the way I wanted them to and I could one day call Bella mine, there was no doubt in my mind that I would do whatever it took to balance my career with my personal life.

But she still wasn't ready.

I was doing my best to stay as patient as possible. I would never pressure her into something she didn't want, or give her some sort of ultimatum just because I yearned for something more. I had to have faith that after a lifetime of unanswered questions and bewildering forks in the road, something would go my way.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and retrieved a text from my son.

_What's up, pop? Bracing yourself for Hurricane Esme? I'm thinking about boarding this shit up and heading to Ethiopia, myself…_

I shook my head and smiled, typing out a quick reply.

_Don't book your plane ticket yet, kid. I think we'll survive the storm._

Ever since Edward had received that fateful call from his mother, informing him that she would be visiting soon to attempt to patch the gaping hole in their relationship, we had both been on edge.

I tried not to think about it, losing myself in my work and talking to Bella any time I got the chance. The only positive outcome of Esme's impending visit was that Edward and I had never been closer.

And the reason was because she had the power to destroy us both. We had to rely on each other in this situation. And if she managed to break my son again, she'd see a side of me that few people ever have. I was a level-headed man, until it came to the people I cared about. I refused to let her toy with Edward's emotions again.

Every day my son and I would find a way to chat for a couple minutes or exchange a few texts. The main purpose was to silently confirm that we had each other's backs, and by making light of Esme's forthcoming arrival, ease our nerves of what she had the potential to evoke within us emotionally.

Edward responded once more, informing me that he'd call me later and I pulled at my tie, loosening it as I worked my neck from side to side to stretch out the kinks. A thorough massage was exactly what I needed. Immediately I envisioned Bella's hands on my back, kneading my skin with her delicate fingers. I saw her straddling my thighs and leaning down until her hair ghosted along my spine as she worked me over, pressing a kiss to the back of my neck as she whispered for me to "relax."

I abandoned that fantasy before I completely lost myself to it. It was bad enough I had to endure being painfully aroused every time I sat at my desk. It was barren and cold without her on top of it, but my hungry imagination had no problem replaying the afternoon I nearly took her right on this very surface.

I abandoned all other thoughts besides the task at hand, going through the stacks of paperwork that never seemed to dwindle in size. A quiet knock at my door had startled me. I assumed I was the only one left since it was already past dinnertime, but Gladys popped her head into the parted door, smiling widely. "Do you have a minute, Doctor?"

I winked at her and looked down to sign my name on the document I was going over. "Come on, Gladys. Don't call me 'Doctor' when it's just us here."

She smiled and stepped into the doorway. I looked at her for a moment and realized how tired she appeared to be. She had dark circles under her eyes and she rested heavily against the doorframe. Immediately I was overcome with guilt. "You shouldn't put in such long hours, sweetheart. You know I appreciate everything you do, but I'd be so much more thankful if you didn't overwork yourself."

She waved her hand at me and approached my desk. Her eyes were watering and she looked as though she'd been crying. "Oh quit it now, Carlisle. I didn't come in here to talk about my schedule. I came in here to tell you that you have a visitor."

I looked at her questioningly. "Okay?"

"Just as I was about to lock up, three familiar faces came through the door and…" Gladys choked up, holding the back of her hand to her mouth as her eyes watered. "He's gotten so big, sweet pea."

It took me a minute for my over-worked brain to realize who she was speaking of but once it did, my eyes widened. "Riley?"

She nodded and I stood from my chair, the smile broad on my face as I followed Gladys into the reception area. The second I dropped to my knees, there were two little arms wrapped around my neck. "Doctor Carlisle!" was bellowed into my ear and I literally felt my heart melting, like an ice cube to a flame.

I would never forget the night I met Riley.

It was about three years ago during one of my night shifts in the ER. We had gotten the call that a three-year-old little boy with a severe headache was coming into the ER. I steeled myself and waited for the ambulance outside the doors. Anytime a child was being brought into my care, I felt an even bigger sense of responsibility.

When he and his parents arrived by ambulance, we took the little boy inside and began assessing him.

Once we sedated him and he managed to calm down, he instantly became fascinated with me. He was a vibrant child with huge blue eyes and curly auburn hair. He asked me a million and one questions, politely requested to wear my stethoscope, and by the end of our first encounter, I was unequivocally attached to this boy. It wasn't something I usually did, become personally involved with a patient and their family, but in this circumstance I was powerless to stop it. He was simply an amazing kid.

The X-rays later showed the numerous masses on his brain. Medulloblastoma was a form of brain cancer that was typically only found in children above the age of five. But at three years old, Riley was diagnosed with a type of cancer that far too many children on this planet were plagued with.

There was nothing left for him to do but fight the poison that was attempting to destroy his little body.

I became a constant in his life. I was in unremitting contact with his pediatric oncologist, staying updated on every inch of progress and every step taken backwards. I was there when he was officially diagnosed. I was there when his parents fell to the hospital floor and cursed God for doing this to their only child. I played with Riley when his hair fell out and when his stomach ached. I sat in the waiting room with his parents for hours during surgeries and late night visits to the hospital. For the longest time, the health of that child was my number one priority.

About a year after Riley's diagnosis, his parents had decided to move back to New York for the time being, where his mother was originally from. Their children's hospital was far more advanced than Mercy's pediatric unit, so it was an understandable decision on their part.

On their final day in Miami, I hugged Riley's parents goodbye before getting down on one knee as the little boy fell into my arms. "I'll come back so we can play," he promised, his eyes wide and far wiser than his four years on this earth.

When they left, I locked myself in my office and cried like a baby. It was one of the most heart-wrenching situations I'd ever had to go through personally or professionally. It was so much more than a job when it came to Riley.

They stayed in touch via e-mail and I talked to Riley about once a month on the phone. I'd get pictures of him sent to me, sparing me of the days that were harder than others. Two months ago I had received the ecstatic call from his mother, informing me that he was in remission again and so far, things looked more promising than ever before.

Relief washed over my body so heavily that I had to sit before my legs collapsed beneath my body. I knew he would never be fully out of the woods, but the progress he had made in his long battle against an unforgiving disease was nothing short of amazing.

After we had hung up, his mother promised that they'd visit soon. I knew how those things usually went, but I was just happy to know that Riley could start living like a normal six-year-old boy.

And now here he was, in my private practice, three years since the first day I met him…and he was healthy.

"How are you, buddy?" I chuckled, squeezing him tightly against me before releasing him.

"I'm good. I've got hair finally and my doctor said I should be able to play baseball this year," he smiled.

I nodded approvingly. "Don't tell me you still like the Yankees, kid."

He laughed and pushed my shoulder. "The Marlins suck, Doctor C."

His mother scolded him for his language, but the smile on her face couldn't be contained. "So what brings you back to the Sunshine State?"

Riley's dad put his hands on his son's shoulders as he spoke. "We came back to visit my parents and to see our favorite doctor, of course. This place is amazing, Carlisle."

"Thanks. I'm quite proud of it."

"Hey, I brought you something!" I looked down to see Riley pulling on my sleeve, his laughter barely contained.

"Well let's have it!"

His mom followed him as he ran out the double doors, returning shortly with his hands behind his back. He was nearly bursting with excitement as he presented me with a Yankees hat.

I blanched playfully. "_This_ is my present? You've gotta be kidding me!"

He doubled over in laughter before motioning for me to bend down. He placed the fitted cap backwards on my head and continued chuckling. "Now you've got style."

I laughed and picked him up, throwing him over my shoulder. "That's it, we're going to get you some Marlins memorabilia, buddy. I need to teach you what baseball is all about!"

He giggled as I tickled his sides, begging me to put him down. As soon as Riley's feet hit the floor, he was pulling Gladys and I out the door, informing us that we "had to come get pizza with them from Pizza Hut." My heart was pounding, the joy of seeing Riley in such a healthy state nearly bringing tears to my eyes.

It was moments like these that convinced me there was a God up above.

Gladys and I ate pizza with Riley and his parents, reminiscing about the good times and staying clear of the moments that had made each one of us question our faiths. We talked with one another until Riley was fast asleep in my lap, the Yankees hat still backwards on my head as I conversed quietly with his parents and Gladys.

I carried him to their car and he awoke just as I set him in his car seat. His eyes fluttered open and he immediately wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me down until he could whisper in my ear. "You're my doctor _and_ my friend. That's why you'll always be the one that saved me."

"I'll never stop being your friend, Riley, no matter what." I rustled his hair and fought against the burning in my eyes as I gave him one last one-armed hug. "See you soon Ry…I want to see pictures from your first game."

He nodded and waved goodbye before letting his eyes drift back shut. After a handshake from his father and a hug from his mother, I quietly watched their SUV retreat into the night until I could no longer see them.

This.

_This_ was why my job meant so incredibly much to me.

By the time Gladys and I had gotten back to the office and she departed for the night, I finally thought to check my phone. It was only then that I realized it had been sitting on my desk the entire time we were gone. I immediately checked the screen, seeing Bella's name under the "missed call" log. I was definitely sorry to have missed her, but my evening with Riley was one that could never be replaced.

I knew Bella would understand.

I locked the doors behind me and listened to Bella's voicemail as I walked out to my car. A soon as I heard her voice, I started to get worried. She just sounded…_off. _I tried returning her call a few times but she never picked up, which only piqued my anxiety. My mind immediately went to the worst scenarios I could conjure up, but there was nothing I could do about it if she wasn't answering her phone. I briefly entertained the idea of showing up on her doorstep, but immediately dismissed it. I didn't want to overwhelm her, or come off as some sort of stalker. Boyfriends showed up on doorsteps. Men that you causally dated just waited for the phone to ring.

I quickly chastised myself for thinking so negatively, and decided that at this point there was nothing more I could do. I would try to get a hold of her the next day and if she still didn't answer, then I would take the necessary steps to make sure she was all right.

That night held nothing but a restless sleep.

The following day Bella proved that I was worried over nothing. She briefly recounted the conversation she had with her ex, and told me how much it had upset her. Thankfully she seemed to be more than over it the next morning, assuring me that she was fine and that we didn't need to dwell on it. We talked for a good half an hour, and it was heaven. It still ended too quickly.

Days passed by in a blur. Work was dominating each moment I had but it was worth it to me. Despite my exhaustion I thrived on gaining the trust of new patients. On Sunday Edward called me with the exciting news that he would be attending a veterinary medicine convention in Las Vegas. I sort of envied him - I never got whisked away to Sin City for the sake of my profession.

He asked me if I'd be able to take Taylor, but with my busy schedule for the following week, there was just no way I would be able to care for her properly in the amount of time I'd be home. Edward assured me that his friend Jasper would more than likely be able to take her, and that it was no big deal that I couldn't.

I still felt bad…I loved having Taylor around. After we moved on from the subject of his dog, I realized just where my son was jetting off to. I momentarily went parental on him, something I rarely did considering he was my best friend first and foremost. I just knew that with a city full of scandalous temptation, Edward would be like a kid in a candy store. "You better not get arrested, Edward. If I have to fly across the country to bail your ass out of jail, there will be hell to pay."

Edward chuckled. "Aw come on, pop. In return for missing all those years of changing crappy diapers, you can spare me a couple dollars for bail."

I knew he was kidding, but the words still tugged at my insides. "Well as long as I approve of the crime you commit, I suppose I can handle that."

"Thanks, Carlisle, but I'm pretty sure I'll be keeping it legal."

"Bringing a girl?" I pried.

Edward chuckled cockily. "Wouldn't you like to know!"

"Are you hiding something from me, son?" I teased.

He was quiet a moment before he said, "Trust me, if I ever figure out what the hell's going on, you'll be the first to know."

"Fair enough, Edward. Just be safe and call if you need anything."

"I will. Love you, pop."

"I love you too, Edward."

**-x-x-**

**BPOV**

I was starting to think that moving to Miami had brought me some of the best days of my life personally, but quite possibly some of the worst professionally.

My personal life had never been better. Tuesday evening Edward had literally pried me off of him and talked me out of doing something that he knew I'd regret. Waking up on the floor Wednesday with his morning wood pressed against my hip had been a painful lesson in self-denial, but we both knew that having mad crazy sex whenever the impulse struck was only going to make me feel guilty later, since I wasn't willing to commit to dating only him. I knew at some point we were going to need to have some kind of conversation about exactly what _commitment_ meant to him, but in the meantime I was just happy to have him in my life, and that he wasn't pushing me too hard about the "other guy"...yet.

I hadn't seen Carlisle again since Monday, but we either spoke on the phone or e-mailed every day. I knew how hard he was working, that the first few days and weeks of a new business were the most challenging, and I was happy that evidently his new practice was doing so well, but I couldn't wait to see him again. Being around Carlisle was like taking a long sweet deep breath of air after being underwater.

It did occasionally cross my mind that this situation couldn't go on forever, that at some point I'd have to make a decision to see only one or the other, or neither of them. Right now, though, I couldn't have picked one over the other if I tried. They both fulfilled and complimented different parts of my personality so incredibly well, and I was selfish enough to hope I could keep seeing them both for as long as possible. Hell, I was selfish enough to hope they'd maybe agree to move to Utah with me and make Bella sandwiches every night.

So it was a good thing that my personal life was making me smile, because that week was the point at which my work life went right down the shitter.

I got home Wednesday morning to find a notice from the IRS in the previous day's mail, requesting documentation for some work-related purchases I'd written off. That night I accidentally knocked my Blackberry off the bathroom sink and into the toilet, and despite all my best efforts to dry it out and save it, it was toast.

Thursday I got a phone call from my boss in California, informing me that one of the biggest clients we'd landed in months was backing out of our contract, claiming that working with me was too difficult, that I didn't communicate effectively enough, and that I was generally the deal-breaker that justified them pulling their account. It was bullshit, I knew it and my boss knew it, but it still stung.

Friday I got another call from my boss with the news that they'd landed a huge contract, but the client was up against a deadline that was almost impossible to meet. They were based in Oregon, three hours behind me, so I was up until two a.m. that night working with their IT representative, outlining the basics for what they would need. I was going to have to work on it all weekend, much to the chagrin of Alice, who'd booked a Saturday spa date for us after she came home and found me crying on Wednesday.

Saturday and Sunday passed in a fuzzy blur as I focused with single-minded intensity on the new client's website. By Sunday afternoon I'd passed responsibility off to the builders in California, but I was still essentially on-call until we had the absolute end product and a happy client.

"Have you ever thought about doing something else?" Alice queried, as we sat with our Chinese takeout Sunday evening. "I mean, not a total career change, but maybe going it all on your own, instead of contracting with the company you do now?"

"I don't know enough about the more complicated coding, Alice," I replied tiredly, poking at my sesame chicken.

"You could take some community college courses and get up to speed on it, right? Just think how much marketable _and_ profitable you'd be!"

I thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, I guess I probably ought to do that regardless, to stay in the loop with what's new in the field...but I don't know if I'd want to do it all on my own. Then everything would be completely on me, and that's more than a little scary. And it could get crazy...what if I had two clients like this one now? How could I juggle that?"

Alice hummed thoughtfully. "I didn't think of that. Well, maybe this is just one of those shitty weeks, and the next few months will even out. It's moments like this when I _don't _envy you being self-employed."

"Yeah, me too," I sighed.

As if on cue, my new Blackberry rang. I cringed, but picked it up slowly, and then blurted out an abrupt "Oh thank God!" when I saw the caller ID flashing Edward's name. I barely got a hello out of my mouth when he interrupted me, his excitement tangible even over the phone.

"Hey baby! I've got a surprise for you!"

"A good surprise?" I couldn't help smiling, his enthusiasm was contagious.

"A _very _good surprise, I promise!"

"Well I could definitely use one of those, lay it on me!"

"Pack your bags, baby, we're going to Vegas!"

I blinked in silence for a moment, not quite sure that I'd heard him right. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, there's this convention that I didn't think I'd be able to go to because of staffing at the clinic, but I just found out that they've got someone to cover for me, so I just booked us two plane tickets to Vegas! The convention only runs through Wednesday, but I figured we could stay an extra day and have a nice little vacation...you've been so stressed out this week I thought getting away would be the best thing for you."

My mouth dropped open as my tired brain broke down his rambled statement. "They have conventions...in Vegas...for vets?"

"Veterinary medicine, sure, there's always new innovations and treatments and equipment, just like with human medicine. And Vegas is the convention capital of the country, along with being one of most fun places on earth! Have you ever been to Vegas? You're gonna love it. I mean, I'll be busy during the day but the nightlife..."

"Edward," I interrupted finally, "I can't just drop everything and go to _Las Vegas_. Are you kidding me?"

"Well I know it's kinda last-minute, but we'll only be gone four days at the most, and you could bring your laptop if you want to check in on work while we're there. I mean, are you pissed that I already booked the tickets?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm not pissed, Edward. But I can't go to Vegas with you. I'm in the middle of a really important project for work, I can't go _anywhere_ right now. It was sweet of you to think it would be a nice stress-reliever for me, but there's no way it can happen."

There was a moment of confused silence on the other end of the phone. "But baby...I mean, you work from home. Why can't you just pack up your laptop and work from the hotel room? It couldn't be that hard."

"Edward," I said calmly, willing myself not to lose my temper. "Yes, it would be that hard to just 'pack up.' Not to mention the jet-lag I'd be dealing with when I need to be concentrating, and the fact that I've been working well past midnight the past few days, when you would want me to go out with you. I'm on-call until this thing is done, be it four o'clock in the morning or in the afternoon. Vegas is not even in the realm of possibilities for me right now."

"Bella," his voice more petulant now, "Okay, I probably should have asked you before I booked the tickets. But come on…this is the perfect chance for us to get out of town, have some fun together. I just figured that since you work for yourself, you could move your schedule around and catch up when we got back."

I shut my eyes and clenched my teeth together. One of my biggest pet peeves was when people assumed that "being your own boss" was the easiest, most flexible job in the world. It drove me crazy that people figured that my schedule was completely flexible and could be changed on a whim. Just as Edward was doing now.

"I am not going to Las Vegas. End of story."

"Do you not _want_ to go? Because if you don't, just say so."

"Jesus Christ, what do you not get?" I finally snapped. "I can't go because of _work_. And I have to work to pay my _bills_. Not all of us were trust fund babies that can afford to work for free."

"Bella, what the fuck…"

"Okay, listen Edward, the past three days have been really long and stressful, and I've gotten a combined total of about eight hours of sleep since Friday. I appreciate that you were trying to be thoughtful, but you had no right to assume I'd be available to drop everything and leave town with you for four days. I may not punch a timeclock or commute to an office, but I have a job just like you do, and right now happens to be a time when it's impossible for me to take any time away from it."

He huffed into the phone. "Well fuck, when you put it _that_ way…"

"Don't. Just don't."

Neither of us spoke for a long moment, and in my stressed-out state I briefly contemplated just hanging up on him. Alice was staring at me wide-eyed, her chopsticks frozen in her hand.

"Okay, I'm sorry, Bella. I was a dick for assuming you'd be available. I guess I just don't get exactly what your work day entails."

"No. You don't."

"That doesn't mean I don't _want_ to, though." The defensive note was creeping back into his voice, and I was tempted to tell him to stop being such a brat.

"When you get back, I'd be more than happy to fill you in on what it's like to do my job."

"Baby…I'm sorry, I really mean it. I don't want to end our conversation like this."

"Okay…me neither," I replied, accepting his offer of a truce. "I wish I could go to Vegas with you…I definitely need a vacation right about now. Maybe some other time?"

"I'll hold you to that. My plane leaves first thing in the morning, so I've got to go pack and then take Taylor over to Jasper's…she usually stays with my pop but he's not available this week, and I won't be flying back until Thursday. Can I call you this week, or will you, uh, be busy?"

"I'd love it if you called me from Vegas, have fun for me, okay?"

"It would be more fun _with_ you, but I'll try. I hope the work shit slows down for you."

"Thanks, me too. Goodnight, Edward."

"Bye baby, sweet dreams."

I set the phone down on the coffee table and took a long deep breath before looking back at Alice. She immediately shook her head. "Don't worry about recapping, I got a pretty good idea of it just from your side of the conversation."

"If he wasn't so damn charming, I'd fucking kill him for being so clueless."

"That's nature's way, you know," she said sagely. "Make 'em cute so you don't chomp them for breakfast. That's why baby animals and humans are proportioned the way they are and have big eyes…their cuteness is their defensive mechanism."

I gave her a skeptical look. "Where in the hell did you hear _that_?"

"Jasper, duh."

"Naturally," I groaned. "Now that I've had my biology lesson for the day, I think I'm going to bed. "I've got a _lot_ of sleep to catch up on." I stashed my leftover Chinese in the refrigerator, changed for bed, made sure that my Blackberry was on the bedside table, and then fell asleep the moment my head hit the pillow.

When I woke up the next morning, sunlight was pouring in the windows, and I automatically reached for my phone. 9:03am and no missed calls. Thank God.

Since it was likely I'd have a reprieve until after the builders were done with the first version of the website, I decided to pamper myself a little. Alice had finagled vouchers from our canceled spa day instead of losing the reservation deposits altogether, and I decided to catch up and have a beauty day on my own…meaning I could leave at any time if work called.

I called the spa and managed to snag an 11:30 waxing appointment, then enjoyed a long hot shower. I'd been a waxing convert ever since Alice had dragged me kicking and screaming to my first professional appointment in college; it didn't hurt as much as I'd been sure it would, and the results sold me on it for good. I was due for a bikini wax, and I might as well have my legs done while I was at it. It beat shaving hands-down any day.

I was just leaving the spa a few hours later, blissfully hair-free, when my Blackberry rang and I saw it was Bill, the guy I answered to in California. Thankfully, the first words out of his mouth made me smile.

"Bella, good news! The boys are done with the first mock-up ahead of schedule, and it looks pretty darn good. I already called the client, their IT guy won't be available until tomorrow, but I went ahead and sent over screenshots and they're very happy with the look of it so far. They want to know if tomorrow around ten a.m. your time would work to sit down and go over it."

"That works perfectly for me, I'll call them at ten on the dot." I couldn't help but grin at the idea of a full day off after working all weekend.

"They seem like a really easy-going company, and since they already like the way the site looks, as long as it works, I don't think we'll have any problems."

"Good to hear, thanks for letting me know!"

"Thank _you _for all your extra work on this, Bella, believe me when I tell you how much I appreciate it. We have the potential of getting a lot of business referred our way by this client, and that success can definitely be credited to you going the extra mile on this account. They've had nothing but wonderful things to say about you every time I've talked to them."

"I'm glad. I'll call you tomorrow after I'm done with them, okay?"

"Sounds good, thanks Bella!"

I was still in such a good mood when I got home that I changed into a cute lacy bra-and-panty set I rarely wore, admiring the job the aesthetician had done on my bikini wax. I threw on a cotton sundress over that, then pondered what to do with my unexpected free day. Finally spend some time acquainting myself with the closest library? Visit the Vizcaya Museum and Gardens like I'd wanted to do since I'd arrived? Or maybe just slather on some sunblock and relax in the backyard with a good book?

I was putting together a salad for a late lunch when my Blackberry chimed with an incoming text message. Without even looking at it I smiled, knowing that it was Carlisle. I'd been so busy the past three days, he'd taken to texting or e-mailing me around two o'clock, not wanting to interrupt me if I happened to be on the phone with my client or right in the middle of working on something that required my full attention. I picked up the phone and my smile grew when I saw his message.

_Hope you're having a beautiful day, beautiful girl! I'm actually going home early today, call me if you have a chance_.

Well if that wasn't fate handing me an ice cream sundae on a golden platter, I didn't know what was. I texted him back immediately.

_What a coincidence, I have the evening off too!_

I sent the message and waited, grinning, without putting the phone down. Exactly ten seconds later, it rang, and I was laughing as I answered it.

"_Carpe diem_, Bella," Carlisle chuckled.

"Is that your way of saying we should seize this rare opening in both of our schedules, chuck the workaholic thing, and have…a _date_?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. At the rate we're both going, we'll probably only get to see each other once a month, so I'll take the opportunity when it presents itself."

"Name a time and a place, and I'm there."

"Well, there's a new restaurant that just opened not far from my house, it's getting rave reviews, but I hate to have you drive all the way over to this side of town…"

"It's not like you're on the other side of the moon, Carlisle, why don't I meet you at your place? What time should I get there?"

"You're more than welcome to come over any time. If you want to avoid rush hour, I'll be home by four, or you can come over afterward. Whatever is easiest for you."

"Before," I said promptly, already looking forward to seeing him again. "As long as you don't mind me coming over that early."

"Mind? I was hoping you'd say that. Looking forward to it will give me the energy I need to finish this paperwork up and get out of here."

"Four o'clock, then," I promised him. "Dinner and a date. No shop talk, let's just have fun."

"Perfect. See you then, beautiful."

**xoxoxoxoxoxo**

It was four o'clock on the dot when I pulled into Carlisle's driveway, he had evidently just arrived himself and seen me coming, as he was leaning up against his car with a grin on his face.

"Believe me when I tell you that you're a sight for sore eyes," he murmured, before planting a firm kiss on my lips and wrapping his arms around me. "You look great."

"Thank you." I smiled up into his bright blue eyes and felt my insides warm immediately. "I'm glad we finally managed to find time to get together."

"Me too." He kissed me again before reluctantly letting go and leaning over to pick up his briefcase. "So how did you manage to get the evening away from the procrastinating clients from hell?"

I laughed and followed him into the house, to the living room. "They may be procrastinators but evidently they aren't as picky as most of them are. Plus, the IT guy I've been working with wasn't available today, so I'm talking to him tomorrow morning at ten. What's your story?"

Carlisle made a face as he dropped his briefcase onto a chair and then reached up to loosen his tie. "Gladys, my secretary, threatened to nail my office door shut if I didn't take a little break. The new extern is there, the office closes at five, and we didn't have any more appointments, so it was pretty safe for me to leave at three-thirty. I was there until eleven last night, so Gladys put her foot down and threw me out."

"_Eleven_? What in the world were you doing there that late on a _Sunday_?"

He shrugged and ran his hand through his blond hair. "Paperwork, schedules, organizing, all that fun stuff. I don't have an office manager yet, and Gladys is helping me where she can, but the majority of it is on my shoulders for now."

I cocked my head and studied his face, noting the faint shadows under his eyes, the fatigue around his normally-smiling mouth. "How much sleep have you been getting?"

"Doctors learn quickly how to run on very little sleep," he said easily. "Don't worry, beautiful, just seeing you has woken me up considerably. I'll go shower and change real quick, and we can head out. We shouldn't have a problem getting a table this early."

"I have a better idea," I said slowly. "Unless you're really set on trying out this restaurant, why don't we order in pizza, drink some wine, and watch a movie? Something a little more low-key, so you can relax?"

Carlisle smiled and then reached up to brush the back of his fingers along my cheekbone. "You're sweet to think of me, Bella, but I wanted to take you out as a reward for all your hard work lately."

"So we'll use your good wine glasses, then, to make it fancy. I don't care where or what we eat, Carlisle, I just wanted to see you again. Let's just relax here. What's that line from _Pretty Woman_...we'll veg out, lay around like broccoli."

He looked at me incredulously for a moment before bursting into laughter. "I know I've seen the movie, but I missed the broccoli reference."

"It was pretty epic. Come on, let's just chill together tonight, what do you say?"

"Are you sure that's what _you_ want to do?"

"Yes," I said firmly, guessing that he just wanted to do whatever would make me happy. "I was lucky enough to get a solid amount of sleep last night, but I'm pretty worn-out too. Let's relax and watch the news, then order the pizza. Sound good?"

"You're amazing, do you know that?" Carlisle leaned forward and kissed me again, more slowly this time, sending tingles pleasantly down my spine. "I'll go shower and change anyway, and be back in just a few. Make yourself at home."

I turned on the television, flipped it to the local channel with a four o'clock news program, and then looked around the room curiously. On my one prior visit to his house, I'd only been in this room for a short time before the power went out, and then we'd ended up in the bedroom…one place I'd have to make myself avoid this time. The room was decorated in a clean modern style, but it was warm and inviting. It was void of any personal touches, though…it could have been a beautifully-decorated room in a model house, with no trace of its owner. I was surprised he didn't have pictures of his family around…but maybe they were in another room, or in albums.

I wandered down the hall to the kitchen, thinking I'd grab a couple of bottles of water from the refrigerator. It was surprisingly well-stocked with mostly non-perishable items, plenty of condiments, and bottles of Guinness. I couldn't help but grin as I made a last-minute decision and grabbed two bottles of Guinness instead of the water.

Just as I settled onto the couch, Carlisle came back into the living room looking sinfully-delicious with his wet tousled hair, plain white t-shirt, and running pants. I handed him a Guinness and his eyebrows went up. "You found my stash?"

"Well, when you hide your stash in the refrigerator, it's not very stealthy," I said dryly, popping the cap with the bottle opener I'd found. I handed him the beer and he chuckled.

"Oh, that's not _the_ stash, that's the overflow containment. The real stash is over there." He gestured at a solid wooden side table next to the couch.

"Behind the couch?"

He smirked and reached over, then tugged on the front of the side table. To my surprise, the front was a wood-grain façade, and I leaned over to see that the interior was a mini-fridge stocked top-to-bottom with Guinness. "I'm lazy on game days."

I gaped for a minute, and then shook my head. "That is pretty awesome, I must say."

"_You're_ pretty awesome," he countered, settling down next to me as I opened my own bottle. "I've never met a woman who liked Guinness, let alone drank it straight out of the bottle."

"I'm usually more of a martini girl, but I figured we could have Guinness and pizza for our evening of lying around like broccoli."

"I know I'm going to end up having to watch that movie again," he grumbled, and I clinked my bottle against his before snuggling into his side as we watched the news and drank our beer. It was the exact afternoon that I needed, one that was just low-key and comfortable. Carlisle's arm felt perfect over my shoulder, and I could hear his steady heartbeat under my ear as I lay my head against his chest.

We both finished our beers at the same time, and Carlisle gave me a quick peck on the head before taking my empty bottle and setting it on the coffee table. "Are you hungry?"

"Hmm, not yet. I had a pretty late lunch."

"Well, without sounding like I'm trying to proposition you, I think we both might be more comfortable if we were horizontal for a little while." Without waiting for a reply he grabbed me more tightly and flopped over onto his side, taking my body with him. I squealed as he hooked a foot under my ankles and pulled them up onto the couch; we ended up spooning with his arm wrapped firmly over me and my back tucked into his chest, our legs tangled together. He sighed contentedly and kissed the back of my neck. "_Now_ I'm comfortable. How about you?"

_Comfortable _wasn't exactly the word I'd use, but I wasn't going to tell Carlisle that I was more than slightly turned on by his actions, and by the warm hand that was now resting over my lower abdomen. "Yeah, I'm comfy."

"If I fall asleep, wake me up in an hour, or sooner if you get hungry, okay?"

"I will. Take a nap, Carlisle."

"This wasn't the date I had planned for us," he mumbled into my hair, "But I'm not going to complain about it at the moment."

"Me neither," I replied softly, and within the space of a single news story, his breathing had changed and I could tell he'd fallen asleep. Evidently doctors also learned early to fall asleep on command.

I relaxed fairly quickly, lulled by his even soft breathing against my neck and the monotonous mumbling of the newscast on the television. It was strange, but I felt more calm and at peace than I had since the whole ridiculous fuckery with work had begun. The heavy solid comfort of his arm draped across me, along with the warmth of his body pressed along the length of mine, soon had me unwinding enough that my eyes began drooping and I dozed lightly as well.

I stayed in that easy floaty zone, not ever completely falling asleep, but relaxing enough that my mind drifted aimlessly, finally at ease after a week of almost non-stop stress. Carlisle sighed softly in his sleep a couple of times and mumbled once against my shoulder, his lips barely brushing over the sensitive skin there. Despite myself, I couldn't help but remember the last time we'd laid together with our bodies pressed so closely together, his lips kissing every inch of me...

My body was so attuned to his, I could tell the moment his breathing changed and I came fully awake. "And here I thought I was the only one of us who talked in their sleep."

"Did I say anything interesting?" His voice was still slurry with fatigue.

"I don't know, I couldn't understand you."

He hummed wordlessly and then rubbed his nose gently against the nape of my neck. "Great nap, but I like waking up even better."

"I won't be offended if you want to sleep a little while longer."

"No...I just needed a little nap, I'm good now." He shifted his body slightly, tilting his hips away from mine, and it wasn't until I arched back into him, seeking the comfort of him fully surrounding me, that I understood why. The rigid length of his arousal brushed against me, hard and unmistakable through his running pants, against my ass. Before I could stop myself, I'd pressed back harder against him and a small moan escaped my lips.

"Bella..." His protest was no louder than a whisper. "You don't want to do that."

"Why?" The word had escaped my lips before my conscience had a chance to catch up.

"Because I want you," he said hoarsely, "But I'm not sure that's what _you_ really want right now."

A tiny smile twisted my lips and I immediately began wriggling in his grasp, turning over until our chests were pressed together. "Are you cockblocking me, Carlisle?"

He groaned low in his chest as I rubbed up against him. "Of all the things I'd like to do to you again with my cock, blocking isn't one of them. But I'm not doing anything until I'm convinced you're fully awake and aware of what you're doing."

"I'm awake," I grumbled, tucking my head under his chin as he gently put a hand on my hip, keeping me from grinding against him again.

"In that case you won't mind waiting until later to seduce me, then?"

I yawned widely. "Are you accusing me of sleep-humping you?"

A soft laugh ruffled my hair. "Sleep-humping...that's something I wouldn't mind doing research on."

"I think the sleep deprivation is catching up with us both," I murmured, nuzzling the soft skin of his neck.

"I think you're right."

"So what would you like for me to do instead of sleep-hump you?"

His hand moved from my hip up to cradle my face. "Oh Bella," he said softly. "You really don't know, do you?"

"Know what?"

His crystal-blue eyes studied me even as his thumbs stroked gently over my cheeks. "How much I care about you. How much you mean to me. And _what_ you do to me…"

"I know that…I mean, I care about you too." His words had taken me by surprise, but at the same time I knew how much he meant them. The emotion was in every look he gave me, his thoughtful gestures, even in the way he touched me. If I told Carlisle that I wanted us to date exclusively, to make our relationship more serious, I knew without question that he'd be telling me yes even before I'd finished talking.

And part of me wanted to, so badly that it almost hurt. Carlisle and I clicked so very well, understood each other, had an automatic easy connection that was uncomplicated and red-hot at the same time. I could see myself settling easily into a relationship with this man, a real secure relationship with amazing chemistry to boot. If only I didn't feel equally as comfortable with Edward when I was in his arms…

"Your eyes are so expressive, Bella," Carlisle said quietly. "I can see you thinking, but I wish I could read your mind. You look very conflicted right now."

I flushed guiltily, Carlisle could read me more thoroughly than I'd realized. "Why do you say that?"

"Because when you look at me sometimes…you look happy, but not sure if you're supposed to be that happy."

"I'm happy when I'm with you," I whispered truthfully.

Carlisle's eyes studied me for a moment longer before he spoke again. "Bella, I don't know if this is something I need to put into words, or something that goes without saying, but I'm going to nevertheless. I've put myself out there and told you how I feel about you because I don't want there to be any confusion about my feelings for you. But I don't want you to feel…that I'm pressuring you. You've made it clear that you aren't ready for a full-on relationship again yet, and I respect that. I just want you to know that…" Here he stopped and took a deep breath. "That whatever you decide, I will understand, and I won't try to convince you to change your mind, or make you feel guilty about your decision."

The honesty in his eyes backed up his words, and I ached even as I reached up to put my hand on his chest. "Why do I somehow feel that you're giving me permission to break your heart?"

"Maybe I am," he said quietly.

I bent until my forehead was tucked under his chin, too ashamed meet his eyes any longer. "Carlisle…I really don't deserve someone like you. You're better than I could ever hope to be."

He sighed and wrapped me more tightly in his arms. "I didn't say that to make you feel bad…I just want you to know that if you…ever need me to let you go, just tell me. I won't do it happily, but _your _happiness is too important to me to hurt you. Whatever you want, whatever you need, it's what I want for you too."

"You're not dumping me, are you?" I mumbled against his neck. He laughed and squeezed me again.

"Hell no! I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to."

I thought for a moment. "Carlisle, I think I've been clear about what _I_ want, but what about you? What do you want out of…this…us?"

"Do you want the truth?" he asked softly.

"Yes."

He kissed the top of my head gently. "You've been honest with me, so I'll be honest with you. I want you to someday tell me that I'm the only man you want to be with, that you feel the same way for me as I do for you. I want to make love to you again and again. I want to wake up in the morning with you in my arms so I can kiss your eyes open. But more than anything, I want you happy. _That_, my beautiful Bella, is what I want for us."

I didn't reply to him right away, guilt for what I was putting this wonderful man through warring with my own selfish nature. Was it really fair to keep him around waiting while I tried to figure out what I wanted, and how much I was able to give at this point?

I didn't want to lose him, but I couldn't let him go. Not when I could see myself falling in love with him as equally as I could fall in love with Edward. Love. Oh shit...

"Don't feel guilty, Bella," Carlisle said quietly, interrupting my mad train of thought. "I'm not asking you to say the same thing back to me until you're ready…if that time comes. I'm content with what we have for as long as it's what _you_ need."

"That's not fair to you, though," I said abruptly.

He reached between us to my chin and tilted my head to meet his calm gaze. "It would only be unfair if you weren't honest with me about it. You've told me as much as I need to know, and I've made the decision that I'm willing to wait. I enjoy the time we spend together, I enjoy talking with you and getting to know you better, I enjoy being with you like _this_…" he hugged me again. "So no guilt, okay? If I ever decide I can't deal with this situation, I'll let you know."

"Argh!" I groaned, twisting to lie on my back. "Why do you have to be so fucking…_good? _You're like the perfect man that every woman dreams of meeting!"

"I'm hardly perfect," he said dryly, propping himself up on one elbow to look down at me. His face was amused now. "I have my shortcomings just as any man does: I'm selfish, I'm jealous, I'm horny. Your typical man."

I grinned up at him. "I like the way you say _horny_."

"You might like what I _do_ about horny even more," he growled, before leaning into me. I hummed happily as his lips settled firmly against mine, kissing me while simultaneously moving his body more on top of me. I moaned as I felt his returning erection brush against my leg, and ran my foot up the back of his calf, guiding his hips between my thighs.

"Fuck," he muttered as he settled squarely between my legs. "You're driving me crazy, woman."

"Good," I mumbled into his mouth.

"Hmm," he replied, before brushing his soft lips back and forth over my jaw. "Not that I want to stop what we're doing here, but should we, ah, set some limits before we get completely carried away?"

"What's your limit?" I purred, threading my fingers into his hair.

"Bella…when it comes to you, I have _no_ limits." He punctuated his statement by grinding slowly against my heat, and I moaned again. "I was more concerned with _your_ limits."

"You're pushing them, and I like it."

He chuckled and pushed his hips against me again. "Good."

"Third base," I gasped out, all the blood leaving my brain and heading to where a very pleasurable pulse was building between my thighs.

"Third base?"

"Yeah if, um, a home run is sex, our limit is third base."

"It's been a long time since I was in high school, Bella." His mouth was hot against my ear now. "Does that mean I can go under your clothes, or do I have to stay on top of them?"

"As long as the clothes stay on, anything goes."

"Really? I'm sure I can come up with some very creative things to do to your body without taking your clothes off."

"I was wondering about that…last Monday…"

"At my office?" I nodded jerkily, and he licked my earlobe. "I wanted to do unspeakable things to you on my desk, I'm sure you know that." One of his hands trailed down my side and curled around my hip, balling the material of my cotton sundress in his fist so the hemline scooted further up my bare legs.

"I…got that impression."

"If you ever want to revisit my desk, just say the word…I know you can't resist me when I'm at work and smelling like cotton balls."

We both laughed a little at that just before his mouth returned to mine and he began a persuasive stroking of my lips which had them parting almost immediately, allowing his tongue to dip in and tangle with my own in a languid manner. I could just barely feel his fingertips as they slipped under the hem of my dress and ran slowly over the bare skin of my outer thigh.

Something about knowing that we'd established set limits, and that nothing would ever make Carlisle violate them, untied a knot somewhere deep inside me, one that was always conscious of what I was doing, making sure I wasn't going _too far_ with either of the men I was dating. The limit that Edward had recognized, and that Carlisle respected. And when the last of that knot slipped away, I felt my body relax into his touch even more deeply, enjoying and appreciating it for what it was. And it was _wonderful_.

We were in no hurry, simply enjoying the movement of our bodies against each other. I bent my knees and cradled Carlisle's body between my legs, he began a slow grinding against me that was almost painfully erotic. Our lips only separated when he moved away to lick or kiss my face, neck, shoulders, and collarbone. I scratched my nails down his back, feeling the smooth muscles I remembered so well underneath his thin t-shirt, and he groaned.

"So your clothes have to stay on," he muttered, before moving lower to kiss my breasts through my dress and bra. "But I can go under, right?"

I would have laughed if I'd had the breath to. "Yep."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is actually fun," he teased, just before he rolled his lower half away enough to allow his fingers to stroke my inner thigh. "It's forcing me to think creatively."

"Creativity is good…"

His fingers stroked higher before dancing back away again, and goosebumps erupted over my skin. "You're not _cold_, are you?"

I took a deep breath, my heart was beating so hard I was almost light-headed. I'd never imagined that over-the-clothes making-out could get me so damn horny, but I could tell it was having the same effect on Carlisle. His pupils were dilated, his skin was flushed, and he was breathing more heavily…and now his rock-hard cock was pressed very firmly against my hip as his fingers ventured upwards again.

"Your skin is so soft," he mumbled as his fingers reached the lacy strap of my panties where it crossed over my hipbone. He paused there for a moment before placing his hot palm on the bare skin of my stomach. "And does whatever beautiful piece of lace you've got on under here count as clothing?"

In my head I thanked Victoria's Secret, God, and Amy, my wonderful aesthetician from that morning. "Uh-huh."

His fingers were sliding under the waistband then, along bare skin, those wonderfully-skilled doctor's fingers heading exactly where I wanted them and doing exactly what I needed. He brushed over me lightly at first, then pressed more firmly. I shut my eyes and whimpered in pure pleasure, throwing my head back and just _letting go_.

He was propped up on the arm he had under my neck, and he watched me squirm with increasing vigor as his fingers moved, an almost instinctual knowledge of what would make me respond, without ever completely allowing me over the edge. I refused to allow myself to be self-conscious or embarrassed…even when my hand crept up to grip in his blond hair, when I felt his teeth biting my shoulder, or when the insistent movement of his hand had me panting so hard that I was on the verge of hyperventilating.

It wasn't until I came, with one final swipe of his thumb over my clit, that his lips met mine again, kissing me as my own mouth froze in exquisite pleasure, dragging in gasps of air, trying to meet the sensations that were roaring over me. His fingers were still stroking and curling inside of me throughout, coaxing another orgasm almost immediately after the first, until I finally just shivered underneath the warmth of his body, pressed tightly against mine.

"Bella…Bella…" he breathed into my hair, his hand slowly retreating, allowing me to come down from the pleasurable haze he'd dragged me into. Even through the echoes of pleasure that were only starting to fade, I felt an almost immediate sense of obligation when I realized that his cock was still hard and straining in his pants against my leg. Automatically I reached for it, to curl my fingers around him…only to have his hand intercept mine.

"No."

"What?"

"You don't have to…"

"But I _want_ to," I insisted fuzzily, trying to tug away from his firm grasp.

"I'm sure you do. But just…for once, let someone do something nice for you, without worrying about doing anything in return. Just enjoy yourself."

I gave one last useless tug against him. "But it's not fair to you…"

Carlisle's lips muffled my protests and he kissed me until I relaxed slightly and began to respond to him again. "Bella…regardless of what anyone else may have told you, a man doesn't always have to come too. How many times have you been with someone who's come and you haven't?"

"That's different," I protested weakly, but despite myself, I couldn't help but think of all the orgasms I'd faked so that Jacob had the go-ahead for his own. But despite completely logical reasoning, coming myself without my partner enjoying the same release just seemed…_wrong_.

"If you can explain to me how it's different, then I'll let you do whatever you want. But for the time being…" He brought up my hand, firmly clasped in his own, and kissed it. "Believe me when I tell you as a doctor _and_ a man, that no one has ever died from a case of blue balls. Male or female."

I giggled, I couldn't help it. "Is that an actual clinical diagnosis?"

"Oh, absolutely," he insisted, wrapping his arm around my waist and then placing a line of soft kisses along my cheekbone. "What most men won't admit or recognize is that seeing a beautiful woman fall apart under your hand is a climax in and of itself. Especially when that woman deserves it so very much…even if she doesn't realize it herself."

I swallowed hard, a tidal wave of guilt threatening to crash over the blissful cocoon surrounding us. Blue eyes studied my face for a moment, and then Carlisle spoke again. "_Starvation_, on the other hand, will most definitely kill you. Are you hungry?"

"I don't know." It was the truth, but the moment the words left my mouth I realized how stupid they sounded. "I mean…yeah, we should probably have dinner. If _you're_ hungry."

"Still worried about everyone else," he said softly, before planting a loud smacking kiss on my lips. It was so completely unlike him that I could only stare up into his beautiful features before I finally started laughing.

"Pizza?"

"With more of your Guinness."

"What do you want on your pizza?"

"Ummm…I like anything except anchovies and pineapple. Those are just too weird on pizza for me."

"How do sausage, pepperoni, green peppers, and mushrooms sound?" At my approving hum, he reached over me for his phone, sitting on the coffee table. As he began scrolling through his phonebook, I noticed the blinking red light on the top of the phone.

"Did you…I mean, do you need to check your voicemail or something?"

Carlisle found the number he was looking for and pressed the button to connect it even as he shook his head and kissed my cheek. "Nope…I looked at my call log, and none of them are important enough to interrupt our date."

"But if you…" I cut off my protest abruptly as I heard the loud voice from the pizza joint blare loudly between us. Carlisle quickly placed our order and requested delivery before tossing his phone back onto the coffee table.

"Dinner will be here shortly. Although I may have to give you the cash and have you answer the door, so I don't scare the poor deliveryman…or woman." He bumped against my hip for emphasis.

"I offered to…I mean, twenty minutes or so is more that long enough for me…I mean, us…"

"Bella…he interrupted my stutters. "A little self-denial is a good thing every once in a while. And at this moment, I have everything I want right here. With pizza on the way. What more can a man ask for?"

"A blowjob?" I was more than a little surprised the moments the words left my mouth, but I meant them, and a small smile quirked the corners of Carlisle's lips.

"Although I can almost guarantee I will never turn _that_ down in the future, should it be offered, I would like to put you ahead of me for the evening. You took one look at me and knew I needed sleep, allow me this small way of paying you back."

"That's hardly a comparison," I snorted, flipping over onto my side so that our fronts were pressed tightly together again.

"But you're here, and that's enough for me," he countered softly, before pulling me more tightly into him.

The rest of the evening was perfect: the pizza arrived within twenty minutes, and Carlisle had…calmed down enough to answer the door himself while I retrieved another Guinness for each of us from the auxiliary stash in the kitchen. We debated briefly over a movie to watch before mutually agreeing on the Bruce Campbell marathon on the horror movie channel. I started drinking water around the beginning of the windmill scene in _Army of Darkness_, and I kissed Carlisle goodnight promptly at 10 o'clock, promising I'd text him when I got home.

I did just that, right before I changed into my pajamas and crawled into bed.

It had been exactly what I needed.

**xoxoxoxoxo**

The next day passed smoothly, as perfectly as I could have hoped for. The client in Oregon was very happy with the website we'd built for them on such notice, and Alice and I went out for dinner in South Beach to celebrate.

Wednesday evening found Alice and Jasper, along with me and _my_ date, curled up in the living room, watching _Paranormal Activity_. Alice screamed and buried her face in Jasper's neck every five minutes or so, but I wasn't afforded that luxury…since it would have freaked her out.

Taylor lay splayed across my lap, her head hanging off my thigh and smashed against the upholstery as she snored blissfully into the couch cushions. Jasper had brought her over, since she was still staying with him in Edward's absence, and he was afraid of her tearing apart his burgeoning collection Lord of the Rings Tonner…still in the box, he'd informed me…character figures. Not dolls, character figures.

Alice had fallen in love with her immediately, just as I had, and Taylor bounded around the house, investigating every nook and cranny available to her. She'd yapped through the first fifteen minutes of the movie until Alice came up with the brilliant idea of feeding her some leftover French-bread pizza…she passed right out.

There had been at least seven minutes without an unexpected movement and subsequent scream from Alice, when my Blackberry rang on the coffee table. Alice screamed anyway, clutching Jasper, and Taylor opened one eye to study her with a mixture of exasperation and disdain. I leaned over the dog in my lap to grab it, noting Edward's number on the caller ID, and answered it quickly.

"Edward, hi!"

"Hey baby!" His voice was slurred, and I guessed right away that he'd been drinking. I didn't have to hear more than two words to figure it out.

"Wow, so…partying it up in Vegas?"

"Actually I just landed here in, uh, Miami. My pop's on the way to pick me up at the…the airport."

I breathed a quick sigh of relief that he'd had enough sense to not attempt to drive in his obviously-inebriated condition. "Did you get bored with the nightlife in Vegas so soon?"

"Nah, I, uh…hang on a second, baby." There was muffled noise as he pulled the phone away, but I heard a mumbled _another_ _double Johnnie Walker_ before he came back to the phone, and I realized suddenly that he was in a bar. At the airport. What the hell?

"Edward?"

"Yeah…sorry, baby, I'm still here. Just trying to drink up for the inevitable, I guess."

My brow furrowed, Taylor pricked up an ear, and even Jasper pulled the remote away from Alice to pause the movie, concern in his expression.

"Edward, are you okay? What's wrong?"

"Oh yeah, I'm _great_," he drawled, sounding anything but. "Everything is just fucking hunky-dory, peachy-keen. Except for the fact that I had to come back a day early due to a phone call I got this afternoon."

"What phone call? What…"

He kept talking, evidently unmindful of my words. "I mean, I would like to have fucking _seen_ you again before this, but no one gives a shit what _I _think, obviously."

Edward's voice had risen so much that I winced and pulled the phone away from my ear. My companions' faces both mirrored their worry, and Jasper gave Alice a quick look before getting up and crossing the room to sit on the couch next to me, his eyes meeting mine in a long concerned gaze that said more than words ever could. "Bella, is he…"

"So yeah. That's where I sit right now. Feeling like shit. Since the proverbial shit has hit the proverbial fan. Or whatever. I feel like shit. Enough said." His words were punctuated by ice clinking against a glass, as clear in my ear as though he were sitting right next to me taking a drink of his over-priced scotch. "Fuck, I should have known it was too good to last, just when I even start to _think_ about getting happy, it all just goes to hell."

"Please…Edward…tell me what's wrong," I begged, pushing Taylor off my lap onto the couch.

He laughed roughly. "It doesn't really matter, just know I won't be around for a while."

"Why?"

"Are you an Elton fan, baby?"

"What, Elton John? Yeah sure…why?"

He hiccupped slightly. "Because…the bitch is back."

**A/N:**

**Kate drags Brits out from under the bed by one leg** Twin! I know we've been dreading this moment, but Playboyward NEEDS you! He's fragile and will need a hot piece of ass like you to take his mind off THE BITCH.

**Brits cries** Noooooo...I'm staying under here until Hurricane Esme passes. Please send Robporn, PFach porn, and vodka!

**Kate scowls threateningly at Brits** I am NOT weathering THAT storm by myself...get out here before I re-write the story to star ME instead of Bella!

**Brits scrambles out from beneath the bed** Fine, fine, I'm here. Can't we just write more Dr. McYummy sexy-time scenes and Edward's memoir entitled "Ode to Manaconda?"

**Kate**: Uhh, you won't have to twist MY arm to do that...outtake after outtake of McYummy/Playboyward porn? I'M THERE! Which reminds me...

**Brits**: Oh yes! My twin and will be combining our perverted minds to support an amazing cause! We'll be donating a DLS outtake for the Fandom for Preemies compilation...it's only $5 to get a stack of one-shots, INCLUDING a DLS outtake that will NOT be available anywhere else! For more details, go straight here: http:/fandomforpreemies(dot)blogspot(dot)com/

**Kate**: And NO, we will NOT be telling anyone in advance what's IN the outtake...so please go help out this amazing cause. Now, on another serious note...Bella said the L-word in this chap. Is anyone getting worried? Or have you all been worried all along? **evil grin**

**Brits sings** Bella and Carlisle sitting in a tree...no wait. Bella and Edward sitting in a...wait, GAH! I dunno which one, Twin. HELP ME!

**Kate**: Pffft, I'm no help, there's no way in hell I could choose between those two right now. They won't take away my Team Carlisle card for that, will they?

**Brits**: No, I don't think so. It's an understandable predicament. I think I better start working on the next chap so we can officially meet Edward's Mommy Dearest.

**Kate**: Yep, and I've got to go answer the door...the UPS man just arrived with my life-sized Dr. Coop cardboard cutout! Now I'll have TWO hot PFach doctor cutouts watching me as I write! Okay lovelies, thanks for being patient and leaving such fuckawesome reviews, we love you!

**Brits**: Follow us on Twitter (brits23 and lazykatevamp) and keep those reviews coming! We love to hear what you think. Until next time! :-)


	12. Mama Drama

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder-Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**Chapter Twelve -Mama Drama  
**

**EPOV **

Normally I would have felt guilty for being completely drunk as fuck on a Wednesday evening, but given the current situation, I couldn't bring myself to care. The numbing effects of my beloved Johnny Walker had followed me from the dim airport bar and into Blue World, the lounge that was located in the lower level of my building.

My pop dropped me off and I had to fight with him for a good five minutes to get him to just fucking bail. I mean, I got it. He wanted to go in there and make sure my lovely mother didn't mindfuck me anymore than she already had in the past. But I would have been an idiot not to see the anxiety her untimely arrival was causing him.

He hadn't seen her in nearly thirty years.

He had sought extensive therapy over this woman.

And a part of him still loved her. Maybe an even larger part of him hated her. Either way, it was in everyone's best interest that I met with her initially on my own. If Carlisle later wanted to subject himself to the conceited bitch my mother had become, then so be it.

But yet, that neglected little rich boy inside of me held onto this tiny sliver of hope that just maybe this was legit. Maybe, after years of thinking of only herself, she had realized over a $200 glass of champagne that she was a _mother. _That she had a kid and she had been vacant through the years that mattered most.

I just wished she could feel _something._

I wanted to watch her expression when she realized that I loved my fucking dad more than anything in this world, and I had known him for a fraction as long as I'd known her. I wanted her to really comprehend how utterly she had failed, that the man she deemed as an unsuitable companion was more noble and decent than she would ever fucking be.

So as I nestled into the corner booth in a dim, secluded area, I cradled my glass like a lifeline…and watched through heavy lids and blurred vision as Esme Platt-Masen walked my way.

She sat down without a word, motioning towards the waiter and ordering a glass of Chateau d'Yquem. The waiter retreated and she folded her hands together, meeting my eyes briefly before observing the table top. "How are you, Edward?"

"Never better. I was actually at a medical conference until I had to return early due to your arrival." I didn't attempt to mask my accusatory tone. Even though the business aspect of my trip was over, I was enjoying a few days of downtime before I went back to the real world.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure I was able to see you before I moved along to the family home in Palm Beach. It's nearly been a year since I've seen you, son."

"It's been two, Esme."

"Oh, well I suppose time has a way of flying by when you travel like I do," she chuckled flittingly, waving a hand as if it were nothing.

I didn't say a word.

Her $60-a-glass refreshment arrived and this entire encounter was becoming awkward fast. I just wanted to crawl underneath the table and wait until she tired of me. Instead I texted Bella, blatantly ignoring Esme as I did so.

_Would you rather be burned at the stake, or eaten alive by fire ants?_

_Um, can I choose neither? What's going on, are you okay?_

_I'm just fan-fucking-tastic. And if you were wondering, I'd choose both options over sitting at this table, in this bar, with this woman who claims to be my mother._

_What can I do?_

_I think you are the answer, Bella…_

_I'm here for you, okay?_

_My manaconda says thanks, babe._

_You're horrible. :)_

_I'll call you soon, baby._

_Okay, Edward._

"Edward, I think we should use our time together to talk, rather than ignore each other."

Esme's voice ripped me away from the hypnotizing words on my Blackberry and I catapulted back into the present. I took a long sip of my scotch and inhaled deeply. "Why do we keep doing this?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Whenever we see each other face to face, it's awkward. Wouldn't it just be easier on both of us if you stuck to your late-as-hell birthday cards and bi-yearly phone calls?"

"I'm your parent, Edward," she said forcefully.

I chuckled lightly. "I already have a parent, _Mom_."

She visibly paled at the mention of Carlisle. "How…how is your father?"

"Don't even ask me that," I murmured deeply beneath my breath.

Silence fell across the table again, Esme going uncharacteristically docile at the disdain in my voice. I polished off my drink and motioned towards the waiter for a replacement. After another bout of silence and several swigs of my newly acquired drink, I couldn't help but throw my hands in the air. "Can we just fucking be done with this?"

And then, the most bizarre thing happen.

She burst into tears.

I stared on in horror and bewilderment as she sobbed into her cloth napkin. I quickly looked around to see if anyone noticed the scene, but we were secluded enough and it wasn't as busy as it normally was, given it was a weekday. So I sat there with my mouth agape, wondering what the fuck I was supposed to do next. Soothe her? Tell her that she made her own fucking bed and it was time for her to lie in it? Cry along with her?

I didn't like seeing any woman cry, but I couldn't help but feel a little indifferent as the tears poured down her face. I had a sneaking suspicion that they weren't real anyway, just a ploy to gain my sympathy.

"Why are you crying?" I finally choked out.

"I don't know, Edward. Where am I supposed to begin?" She lifted her eyes to mine and I took a moment to examine her. She was still as beautiful as ever, despite the fact that the Botox in her face almost made her seem expressionless. I was suddenly hit with a memory from when I was three years old. My mother had sent Maria, our housekeeper, home for the day. We made cookies from scratch and she let me lick off the spoon. She hugged me close and said I was the best helper ever. I started giggling as she stared at me for what seemed like forever. When I asked her why she was looking at me like that, she said in a distant tone that I looked so much like my father when I smiled.

I only later realized who exactly she was talking about.

Whether it was the alcohol or the presence of my mother, my brain was all over the fucking place. "Look, I don't know what you plan to gain by coming here. When I talked to you on the phone last week you were upset. Is the money running out or something? Do you need a loan? Because you can have the fucking money, Esme. It doesn't mean a goddamn thing to me."

My eyes began to burn as another silent sob fell from her lips. I watched as a single strand of auburn hair fell from the perfectly-structured updo on the top of her head. She was deep in thought, obviously trying to find words or actions or anything to relay what her fucking point was.

"Do you remember that time we went to Hawaii when you were seven?" she sniffled in a pathetic voice.

I nodded once. "Yup."

"Do you remember, your father had to go to one of his many conferences, and while he was gone we went snorkeling?"

"Yeah, I recall."

"You didn't like it," she chuckled through her tears.

I shrugged. "The instructor was constantly belittling me."

"You were seven."

"That's not an excuse," I rolled my eyes.

"We had fun that day, Edward. There were moments in our lives where we truly were a mother and son. I know I've been distracted by my lifestyle for the majority of your life, but the moments where we actually spent significant time together…they meant everything to me."

"And what brought on this realization?" I questioned skeptically.

She shook her head. "I know I haven't been the mother you deserve, Edward. I'm not saying I ever will be. But this life isn't fulfilling any longer. I'm constantly surrounded by people, but I'm forever alone. The only thing that makes me smile anymore are thoughts of you. Back when you were young enough not to resent me for the decisions I've made and the life I've lived."

I couldn't help but chuckle humorlessly at her words. "So you're telling me that you're sick of playing the rich socialite and you want to mend our relationship and build memories so _you_ don't end up all alone?"

"It sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but I do want to know you, Edward. I want to know of your accomplishments, and the things that make up who you are as a man. Even your career as a veterinarian, you can tell me about that." She wrinkled up her nose as she mentioned my profession, which thoroughly pissed me off.

"I still don't understand why you think veterinary medicine to be so ghastly of a profession, Esme. I'm a _doctor_."

"I just think you have more potential, Edward, that's all."

"Well, I'd rather do something I love than live up to your ridiculous expectations. Carlisle couldn't be prouder of me."

Her hands began to shake as I mentioned my pop once more. "I don't expect you to believe me, or even accept my attempt at mending our relationship. All I'm asking is that you let me try. I've been Esme Platt-Masen for so many years now that I forgot who I truly was. I used to be a sweet young girl who wanted nothing more than to disappear with the love of her life. I didn't care about money, Edward. But when I sacrificed…Carlisle…when I made the decision to marry Edward Sr., I only had your best interests in mind. I wanted to give you a proper upbringing, and if that meant giving myself up along the way, then so be it."

I stood from the table and threw down a stack of bills. "That should have been a heartfelt declaration, but all I heard was _me, myself, and I_."

"There's so much we need to talk about, but I think it's important that we try. Can we spend some time together and see where it leaves us?" She was practically begging as she gazed up at me. She reached forward and took my hand, squeezing it as she trembled. Everything was so fucking jumbled in my mind, and I couldn't make decisions like this when I was jetlagged and drunk as hell.

Maybe I never could.

"If you still think this is what you want, then call me tomorrow. I'm tired, and I'm done." I let go of her hand, the hopeful little boy inside me squeezing it tightly before letting it fall. I walked swiftly out of Blue World and to the elevators, tears burning my eyes that knew better than to fall.

I wanted to go home. I wanted to curl up in my bed and send a few more texts to Bella, because when I had her to distract me, Esme was nothing more than a bitter and distant memory.

I just wanted to escape.

And the tiniest part of me wanted Esme to be my mother again.

**BPOV**

Two days had gone by since Edward's texts, and my anxiety over his uncharacteristic silence was getting almost to the breaking point. Jasper had quietly assured me that his best friend was fine, and that he always isolated himself whenever his mother was playing one of her mind-games, but his texts had me thinking that he was really begging otherwise.

_I think you are the answer Bella..._

_I'll call you soon, baby._

That had been late Wednesday night.

Logically, I knew that Edward was a grown man, that he had been dealing with his mother his entire life, and that unless he indicated otherwise, I should let him contact me when he was ready. Part of me, though, remembered the anger and pain that had flared in his eyes the night he'd told me about his relationship with his mother, the abandonment he'd felt before even finding out that she'd been lying to him about his father all along.

I had a sneaking suspicion that Edward was more vulnerable than he wanted any of us...or even himself...to believe.

Friday night I sat by myself at home, absentmindedly flipping my Blackberry back and forth in my hands. Alice and Jasper had gone out to a movie, and Carlisle was working late again. He'd sounded unusually tense when I'd spoken to him yesterday, but he'd assured me it was just family drama and that I didn't need to worry about it.

It was a good thing, because I was saving all my worry for Edward.

I gritted my teeth together. I wasn't going to just show up at his apartment uninvited again, but damned if I was going to sit here and let Edward think he was alone while his bitch of a mother was busy trying to beat him down again. He'd been there for me when I needed him, I had to do the same for him.

With that thought at the forefront of my mind, I dialed Edward's cell phone number. If he wanted to tell me that he was okay and to please not call him again for a while, fine. But I needed to hear _him_ tell me that.

The call went straight to his voicemail.

_"Fuck_!" I swore aloud, before tossing my Blackberry onto the coffee table. That was it, when the lovebirds got back I was pinning Jasper down until he gave me more details. Maybe guys were fine with the whole "let him have his space" thing, but after what Edward had told me, I wasn't sure it was what he actually needed.

My stomach rumbled and I wandered into the kitchen to stare aimlessly into the refrigerator. Nothing really looked good, and I was half-resigned to venturing out for some fast food when there was a scratching sound at the front door.

I froze for a moment and then straightened up slowly, trying to remember if I'd locked the door after Alice and Jasper had left. Yes, I had. I knew I had. I was a cop's daughter, I locked doors out of sheer reflex.

I closed the refrigerator door slowly, carefully, not letting it bang shut, and then padded slowly over to the front door to press my eye up to the peephole.

Nothing was there.

Weird. Very weird. It was too late for any deliveries, and definitely too late for any door-to-door salesmen or solicitors. But I knew I'd heard _something_ and it didn't sound like a phone book delivery...

Another noise, a soft sliding noise up against the door.

I sucked in my breath and backed up, reached into the open hall closet, and grabbed the baseball bat that Alice kept stashed there for home defense. The logical part of my brain told me that I really ought to call the cops, that I should _not_ open the door, but I didn't want to sit around waiting for them while someone was actually in the act of trying to break into my house.

The baseball bat gripped firmly in my right hand, I slowly twisted the deadbolt lock, wincing when it settled open with a tiny click. Then the chain lock, even more quietly, before I reached down and grabbed the doorknob. I squeezed the bat in my hand a split second before I twisted the knob and yanked the door open, throwing it hard so I could jump back and get both hands on my bat.

A body and then a head thumped backwards onto the floor with a muffled grunt. "Oh _shit_..."

"Jesus Christ, oh my God..._Edward_?"

"Oh my head..."

"Edward, oh Jesus..." I tossed the bat to the side and dropped down on my knees next to him, thankful that I hadn't immediately clobbered him. "What in the _hell _were you doing out there?"

"Stopping by to visit a friend," he groaned, one hand reaching up to rub the back of his head. "I just hadn't rung the doorbell yet."

"You were sitting on my doorstep, Edward, you scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry baby," he said softly, and then his eyes drifted closed. "I can go if you want me to."

"No, I don't want you to...God, just...get up off the floor and go into the living room, okay?"

He sighed and stood up slowly as I shut and relocked the door. "Glad to know my girl has home security down to an art form."

"Yeah, well, I've got to protect myself from random guys that squat on my front porch. Did you drive here?"

"Yeah."

"Are you drunk?" I asked suspiciously. He was a mess: his hair was sticking up in crazy random spikes, his face was pale, and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"No, not drunk. Just very, very tired." He slumped down onto the couch and I immediately sat next to him.

"I've been worried sick about you."

Edward shook his head. "When I sobered up, I realized I shouldn't have called you, or sent you those texts. This is your first experience with Hurricane Esme, you don't know how manic I get with her around."

"Jasper filled me in a little bit," I said carefully.

He huffed softly. "Did he tell you she's still here?"

"No, he hasn't told me very much at all."

"I'm sorry...sorry that I haven't called you, sorry that I didn't fucking _ask_ if I could come over. I just needed a place where _she_ couldn't find me. I couldn't take any more of her."

"Edward...please talk to me," I begged. "You need to get it off your chest, I can tell. You were there for me when I needed a friend, please let me do the same thing for you."

He looked at me then, his eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot. "You don't want to hear about her whole mindfuck, trust me."

"If she's fucking with you, then it concerns me," I said firmly.

Edward slumped forward slightly before his eyes drifted shut again. "I shouldn't have come here, I shouldn't have dumped this on you..."

I scooted closer and wrapped my arms tightly around him, pulling him against me until he sagged against my shoulder, tension vibrating through him like a live wire.

"I fucking hate that bitch," he finally croaked. "I fucking hate her, for everything she did to me, everything she did to my pop. And she knows, she fucking _knows_ how much I hate her, so she does everything so perfectly to make me doubt what I know, what I've been through. I'm just like her little wind-up toy, she knows exactly what buttons to push and what to say to make me do what she wants."

"What does she want you to do?"

Edward groaned. "That's the true beauty of her mindfuck. She wants to make up for all the wrongs she did me growing up. She's apologized for not being there as much as she should have. She's begged my forgiveness for lying about my father for eighteen fucking years. She cries when she talks about what a horrible mother she was, and how much she regrets it now. She tells me I don't have to forgive her, that she's not expecting me to. And then she sits back and waits for all of that to fuck with my brain until I end up feeling like everything is actually _my_ fault."

"Do you think maybe she honestly means it?"

He laughed bitterly and pulled away. "She means it only in that it's easing _her _conscience, making _her_ feel better. At some point she realized she's getting older and while all the other ladies down at her club are waving around pictures of their new grandbabies and talking about their families, she ruined the relationship with the only kid she has. She doesn't really give a shit about me."

"How do you know?"

"Bella, the woman rolls into town and one of the first things she does is remind me that I'm not living up to my _potential_ by being a vet. I guess you can't brag about your son's career unless it involves doctoring people instead of animals. Then she just won't leave me the fuck alone...calling me, leaving me teary messages, telling me that she can't forgive herself until she does everything in her power to make me understand how sorry she is. I just want her to back the fuck off."

"Do you?" I asked the question carefully, and Edward's eyes snapped over to meet mine.

"What do you mean?"

"Edward...if this woman had no control over you, your life, or your emotions, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. Instead I found you sitting alone in the dark on my front porch, looking like you haven't slept in three days. You may want her to back off, but I'm guessing you want something else too."

His jaw clenched. "Sometimes, when she's crying or talking about me growing up...there were a few times when it wasn't bad, when I thought maybe she really did love me. It was easy to forget that she was the absentee fucking landlord on my childhood when I remember the good times. I mean, I was a fucking kid! All I wanted was for my mom to tell me that she loved me and then prove it. Instead I got postcards from Bora Bora or wherever the fuck she was. She missed my twelfth birthday because she was on vacation, Bella! What kind of mother fucking _does_ that?"

I didn't have a reply so I squeezed his hand in my own.

"And what she did to my pop...God, even if I _wanted_ to forgive her, how could I, with what she did to him, and to me? I mean...my real father is one of the greatest men I've ever met in my life. He thinks of everyone but himself, and just gives and gives because that's the kind of person he is. She cheated him out of his own son, his own _child_, and pretended like he'd never really meant anything to her. He spent _years_ trying to get over that. And I'm not going to let her fuck with him again, I swear to God..."

"Edward," I said softly. "Did you ever stop to think that's your dad's battle to fight? He's a grown man, and if he's as wonderful as you say he is, or even half as wonderful as you, I bet he'd want you to settle with your mom based on how _you_ feel, not on how you think you're obligated to behave because of what she did to him."

He shook his head stubbornly. "He's been a better parent to me than she ever was. I'm not going to stab him in the back like that."

I reached out to touch his face, running my fingers over the rasp of his unshaven cheek. "You are...Edward, you are an amazing human being. You're incredibly loyal and caring, and that's something I really love about you. But you have to let everyone she's affected deal with her in their own way. Your father included."

He looked up at me then, and the corner of his mouth lifted in a faint grin. "Well fuck me, I never thought I'd have Esme to thank for getting you to admit you love me."

"What?"

"You just said you loved me."

"No, I..." My mind scrabbled frantically. The words had come out so naturally, I hadn't even been aware I'd said them. "I mean, I..."

He groaned. "Don't try and take it back now, I'm too beat down for that kind of heartbreak. Love me, love something about me...whatever. I'll take it."

I squeezed his hand again. "There's just something about you, Edward Masen. You're always getting me to say and do things I hadn't intended."

"It's part of my charm." He started rubbing his eyes again, and I couldn't help but wrap him in another hug. For all his bravado, for all his anger, it was very obvious that there was a small boy somewhere inside Edward Masen, desperately wanting to believe that his mother had finally woken up and realized how wonderful he was.

"So where have you been, anyway?"

"I took yesterday and today off work...Esme and I went out to lunch Thursday, drama ensued. Today I kept refusing to talk to her, so she showed up at my apartment. More drama ensued. She's heading up to Palm Beach this weekend to one of her family's many vacation homes, and she wants me to drive her. For bonding or some shit."

"If it'll get her off your back, maybe you should do it."

"The thought had crossed my mind, but God...I don't know if I can do it. I don't want to listen to any more of her lies."

I kissed his cheek. "Feel free to correct me if you think I'm wrong...but even if she's doing it for selfish reasons, maybe she means what she says. And maybe it would make _you_ feel better if you allowed yourself to acknowledge whatever you can get from her words. If you don't think she's lying when she talks about regrets, regardless of her motivation, accept it for what it is."

He shook his head slowly. "Baby...you're talking about forgiving her for so much more than I can even tell you about. I don't _want_ a relationship with her. I don't _want_ her in my life. I want her to leave us alone."

"She's not asking to move in or for you to forget the past, she's asking for your forgiveness. Whether it was for one little thing or for an entire lifetime of things, you only have to forgive her once." Edward was silent, considering my words, so I kept going. "Would it make _you_ feel better to know you've dealt with her and moved on?"

"But she won't," he said heavily. "She won't. I just…I mean, she's not just down here to browbeat me into forgiving her for the past. She wants to be in contact with me more. She wants me to come back to Chicago and visit. She wants…" He swallowed hard. "She'll want to know you. And I don't want her to know you, I don't want her to touch all the things that are _good_ about my life now."

"Then tell her that. You need to sit down with her and make her understand that she can't dictate your relationship now. If she's coming on too hard, too fast, tell her to back off." I ran my fingers through his messy bronze hair and he sighed a little as he leaned into my touch.

"I don't know. I don't really know what I really want from her. She hasn't given me a chance to think about it, let alone talk to her about it. I guess that's why I ended up on your doorstep…I needed to go somewhere where she couldn't find me."

"I'm glad to have been a safe harbor for you, then." With that, I stood and held out my hand to him. "Let's go to bed."

That wicked gleam I knew all too well sparked faintly in his eyes at my words. "Now you're talking."

"Shut up and come on. You look like you haven't slept in a week, and my bed is big enough for two. You can stay here tonight and figure out what to do with her tomorrow."

Edward followed me down the hall into my bedroom and then looked around curiously at the blank walls, the overloaded desk, and the neatly-made bed. "I can't believe I haven't weaseled my way in here before now."

I frowned in confusion before realizing that he was, in fact, the first guy to ever visit my bedroom in Miami. "Oh…yeah, well, we've never really hung out here before."

"Are we going to have that pillow fight in our pajamas now?"

"I should have made you sleep on the couch," I muttered. "And before you ask, no we are _not_ sleeping nude."

"Aww, Bella…" The bastard gave me the panty-dropper smile just before he slowly peeled his plain black t-shirt over his head, perfectly aware of the effect his body had on me. I closed my eyes to keep from staring at the lean lines of his muscled abdomen, but when I opened them, he was fumbling with the button fly of his jeans and I started to question the wisdom of inviting him into my bed for the night.

"Keep your pants on until I'm out of the room."

"But it's nothing that we haven't seen before…and we'd be so much more comfortable…"

"Keep your boxers on, buster. I mean it." I turned very deliberately to grab a semi-modest set of pajamas out of the dresser and headed for the bathroom to change. My stupid traitorous body was screaming at me to start something that I knew wasn't in the cards for the evening; I didn't care if Edward _had_ seen and experienced all there was of me, tonight was about something more than that. He'd proven that he'd cared about me in ways more than sexual ones when I'd shown up at his apartment and basically thrown myself at him, now I was going to do the same for him.

Of course all those thoughts threatened to go out the window when I came out of the bathroom to the sight of a half-naked Edward in my bed, looking like every fantasy I'd ever had and then some. He grinned and reached out his arms when he saw me. "C'mere and let's get our snuggle on, baby."

I shook my head, trying to ignore the heat flashing through me. "Have you got boxers on under there?"

"Yep, Scouts honor!"

"You weren't a Boy Scout," I reminded him, before poking him in the side. "Move over."

"How do you know I was never a Boy Scout?"

"You told me the night we first met, remember? Now roll over."

He complied and I curled up behind him, wrapping my arms around his chest and resting my cheek against his bare back. He heaved out a long sigh of relief as our bodies relaxed slowly into each other. "I'm glad I came here."

"Me too."

We lay quietly for a while, Edward stroking my hand where it rested on his chest. "Bella," he said finally, "When you went to go live with your dad…why weren't you pissed at your mom?"

"Well…I don't know, maybe I was a little bit. But I was only seventeen, and I'd been taking care of her for years. Besides, it wasn't as though she _forced_ me to go."

"But don't you feel like she picked your stepdad over you?"

"I guess I never really thought about it that way. It was a completely different situation from yours, Edward."

"Yeah," he said shortly, before moving his fingers up over my wrist to touch the sensitive skin there. "Palm Beach is just over an hour from here, I'll take her ass up there if it means she _goes away_. Fuck, I'll stay the night if it means she listens to me instead of this non-stop harassment bullshit she's had going on."

"I think that's a good idea."

He sucked in a deep breath. "Do you think I'm being an asshole?"

"No!" I replied quickly. "Just because I'm telling you to think about forgiving her, it doesn't mean that I'm taking her side. She's got a lot of bridges that _she_ chose to burn, and right now she's trying to build them all back at once. She can't expect you to just deal with that."

Edward suddenly yawned so widely that I heard his jaw crack, and I couldn't help but giggle. "Why don't you just try and get some sleep?"

"It's gonna happen whether I want it to or not."

"Why wouldn't you want to sleep?"

"Because I'm trying to make sure I remember every second of being here in your bed."

I kissed the soft skin between his shoulder blades and then lay my cheek back against it. He smelled and felt so good, but I willed away my lustful thoughts from earlier, wishing with all my heart that there was some way to magically take his conflict away and undo the damage his mother had systematically inflicted over the past twenty-seven years. I personally could care less about _her_ feelings, or _her_ sense of resolution, but it hurt to see Edward like this. I wanted him to come to some kind of understanding with her, even if it was a promise that she would never set foot in Miami again.

When I didn't respond aloud to his last words, I felt his body slowly melting against mine, and a few minutes later he began to snore softly. He'd looked like hell and I wondered if he'd gotten _any_ sleep since getting back from Las Vegas.

I lay awake myself for the next hour or so, hugging him tight, listening to him breathe, and trying to fight back thoughts that scared me too much to consider, worries that were starting to nag at me more often than not. My own words were coming back to haunt me, betraying the inner turmoil that I didn't want to admit to anyone.

About Carlisle. And Edward.

Because as much as I hated myself for it, I loved them both, in very different ways and for very different reasons. I couldn't have them both, though, and despite all my preaching to Edward about resolution, I was too selfish and scared to do the same thing.

But lying here, with Edward sleeping in my arms, I knew that I was going to have to make a decision.

One or the other, or neither. I couldn't have them both anymore.

**EPOV **

I woke up to the shrill beep of an unfamiliar alarm clock. Normally my first instinct would be to toss the damn thing out the window, but I was surprisingly alert. I took in my surroundings, remembering the previous night and the steps that had lead me into Bella's bed. The road was shitty, but the ending result certainly wasn't.

I smiled as Bella grumbled and slammed her fist onto the snooze button, grumbling about not knowing why she set the alarm on a Saturday in the first fucking place. She pressed her face into the crook of my neck and threw her arm across my abdomen, pulling herself tighter to me as I held her in my arms. A month ago, this intimacy would have given me a shit ton of anxiety, but I couldn't deny the fact that waking up next to Bella, now for the second time since I'd known her, was proving to be a very heavenly experience.

I pressed my nose into her soft hair and inhaled deeply, my eyes falling closed as I lost myself to her sweet scent. Peace. Complete and utter fucking peace. Was I ready to be this woman's boyfriend? Did she even want me to be? I didn't have the answers, but I knew that with every moment spent by Bella's side, the bond only thickened between us.

And speaking of thickening…

I subtly tried to move my hips away from Bella as she settled her thigh higher up on my leg. I figured she'd kick my ass right out of bed if she felt my morning wood all up on her.

I really wanted her to feel it though.

Hmm…I had to change my train of thought before my balls went from cerulean blue to a deep shade of violet.

So instead I thought of something equally as painful and completely unrelated. My mother. Even though I had woken up to a pain-in-the-ass shrieking noise, I still managed to feel a million times lighter. I looked back on the days since Esme had blown into town and her presence suddenly seemed so minuscule in the grand scheme of things.

Why did I let that woman bend me so far out of shape? So she was a crap-ass mother. Yeah, the shit stings and the scars would never fade, but there's sure as hell no way we could go back in time to change it. So she was begging me for a relationship. Chances are she'd get tired of that shit before her flight landed on the next beautiful, tropical island.

Esme Platt-Masen had burned me good, and even though some part of me would always care for her because she was my mother, the rest of me just had to let that shit go. There was no point in dwelling on the 'what ifs,' nor did I want to. Suddenly everything was so incredibly clear…and I had my girl to thank for it.

I leaned down and pressed my lips gently to Bella's forehead before reaching across her and turning off the alarm. I knew it was only a matter of time before the horrendous beeping started again, and I was positive I could think of a much more pleasurable way to wake her.

I kept it chaste, not knowing how far she'd want me to go. My lips traveled across her eyebrows, over the apples of her cheeks and along her jaw, worshipping this gorgeous woman like I'd never get another chance. I felt like there was never enough time with us.

And the way she made me feel...it was like my heart was going to burst, my stomach was a roller coaster and my arms couldn't hold her tight enough.

Did I love her?

Holy shit, Masen. One predicament at a time.

I pressed my lips gently to hers. "Wake up, Sleeping Beauty."

Her eyes fluttered open and her lips turned into a lazy grin….until her hand flew between my mouth and hers. "Morning breath!" she murmured hastily, jumping out of bed and rushing to the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom.

I laughed and slowly climbed out of bed, running my hand through my jacked-up hair before leaning against the door frame of the bathroom. I folded my arms across my chest and smirked as her eyes met mine in the mirror. "I don't have my toothbrush, Bella."

Her eyes widened as I pushed off the frame and came to stand behind her. "You can use mine," she mumbled through a mouthful of foam.

I chuckled and inched my way closer, leaning one hand against the countertop. Her eyes followed my movements, lingering on my chest for a little longer before she focused on the task at hand. "Still checking out the goods, I see." I smiled crookedly as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't watch me spit," she chastised with a full mouth of toothpaste.

My dirty thoughts were never ending.

I averted my eyes to the ceiling as she rinsed her mouth, and once I heard the water turn off, her eyes met mine. "Still want it?" she whispered.

I suppressed a groan, letting my hands come to rest on either side of her on the counter. "I've never stopped wanting it, baby." I licked my lips and rested them on the shell of her ear, letting them slide smoothly down until I pulled her earlobe between my teeth. "I'm going to brush my teeth, and then I'm going to kiss you, Bella."

I watched her delicate throat as she swallowed heavily, twisting her neck until our noses touched. I could taste her breath on my tongue, my cock now achingly-hard as the sexual tension crackled between us. Wordlessly, she handed me her toothbrush, breaking our heated trance.

I never took my eyes off her reflection as I brushed my teeth, slowly sneaking one hand around her slender waist and stroking the skin beneath her shirt. My thumb circled her belly button and her eyes involuntarily closed, her palms resting heavily on either side of the sink as I watched her carefully. I slid my hand around and ran my knuckles across her lower back, gently stroking up and down her spine. Her skin was smooth as silk, and my eyes nearly rolled into the back of my head as I watched the goosebumps form on her pale flesh.

Faster than she could process, I turned her around, grabbing her by the waist and setting her on the edge of the counter. She was breathless as she gazed up at me, still unable to speak as I leaned down to rinse my mouth. When I was nothing but minty-fresh and nearly ravenous with arousal, I wrapped my arms fully around her waist and pulled her into my body, her sweet little ass nested precariously on the edge of the countertop.

She gasped as she came into contact with my aching dick, pressed tightly between us as I kissed the smooth skin behind her ear. "Don't tell me no, Bella," I murmured ever-so-softly, kissing a path down the side of her neck and across her shoulder. "You know this is more than sex…you _know _it is. Let me worship you, baby. This is only about us…"

She sighed heavily and rested her forehead on my shoulder, letting her hands link between my shoulder blades as she pulled me tighter against her. "I don't know…I don't know," she murmured, lifting her head until our eyes met significantly.

I smiled softly and ran my fingertips along the side of her cheek. "It's okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have even-"

Before I could even finish my sentence, her lips were on mine. I exhaled into her mouth as my hands dropped to her ass and pulled her tighter against me. I didn't even have time to catch my breath before her mouth was on mine, the result leaving me slightly lightheaded as my tongue traced back and forth along her bottom lip. "You have to let me in some time," I teased, referring to our first encounter so many weeks ago.

She moaned in response, letting it trail off into an aching groan as I slowly began circling my hips against her, my cock finding purchase right where I needed it to be. She was so hot underneath her thin pajama bottoms. "I thought I said _I_ was going to kiss _you_?" I whispered as we parted to catch our breath.

"You took too long," she smirked.

I was tasting her tongue before the words were even out of her mouth, because Edward Masen doesn't make the same mistake twice.

I knew we weren't going to round the bases or anything, and I felt guilty for even asking, but being the horny bastard I was, I couldn't help myself. The truth was, I was perfectly content with fucking her with my tongue and dry-humping her shamelessly, because fucking hell did my girl feel good all up on me.

She began pushing her hips against mine just as eagerly, our bodies undulating in a perfect rhythm as our tongues swirled frantically together. I groaned as she pulled my hair with her fist, the fabric of her nightshirt twisted tightly between my fingers as we moved together.

I knew she was so fucking close to cumming, I could see the wild gleam in her dark eyes that I recognized from one night that would forever be burned into my memory. I was just as close to having a cum-in-my-pants experience as well, until the loud bang of a door ended all that.

"Bella, what the hell are you doing in there, playing with your new space shuttle…whoa! Hey Edward, nice boxers!"

I swiftly looked over my shoulder to see a thoroughly-amused Alice, her lips turned into a smirk as she observed the situation. Bella pressed her face into my shoulder and groaned - this time, it wasn't from pleasure.

And wouldn't you know it, Alice was still fucking standing there.

Bella and I both looked at her in exasperation, when finally understanding lit up in her eyes. "Oh! Right, okay, I'll just um, go make some coffee? Or some bacon? Are you guys hungry? You probably will be if you finish what you've started. So, yeah! I'll just be in the kitchen!" After another five seconds of silence, Alice turned on her heel, disappearing from the room just as quickly as she came.

What the fuck.

Bella continued to cling onto me with her face pushed into the crook of my neck, and just when I was about to get back to business, she let out a loud, giggling snort. Her laughter shook both our bodies, doing nothing for my ever-raging hard-on. "Something funny?" I said in a tight voice, reluctantly chuckling along with her because what can I say, it was hard not to laugh when my girl was.

"Yeah, Alice was born and hilarity ensued," she laughed softly; it slowly faded as she met my eyes. "Sorry."

I sighed deeply and rested my forehead against hers. "Don't be sorry, baby. I can't remember the last time my morning started out so damn good."

"I don't know," she shrugged, wrapping her arms around my neck. "You seemed pretty happy the last time we woke up next to one another. I believe I heard you singing 'Baby Got Back' in the shower as I was leaving your apartment."

I smiled widely, pressing a long, sweet kiss on her now swollen lips. "Maybe you just make me happy."

Her beaming smile said the words I knew she wouldn't allow herself to say.

We begrudgingly pried ourselves apart and got dressed. Since I had missed the past couple days of work, I knew I needed to get in there today and catch up on my paperwork, even though I didn't want to leave Bella's side.

We walked hand-in-hand into the living room, the smell of charcoaled bacon wafting from the kitchen. "Nice seeing you, Alice!" I waved from the living room, smirking at her somewhat sinisterly.

"You too, Edward, even though I saw a whole lot more than I was expecting!" She smiled widely and waved her spatula at me, leaving me to wonder what the hell a spatula had to do with frying bacon.

Perhaps no one would ever know.

Bella opened the door and revealed a beautiful Miami morning. We leaned on either side of the doorframe and smiled at each other like two smitten teenagers or some shit, and Christ, I was just feeling better than I had in ages.

"Well, I'd say your mood has improved since last night," Bella spoke softly, tightening her fingers around mine.

"Yeah, and I have you to thank for it. I really thought about what you said, Bella, and you've given me a lot of insight. I need to stop taking this whole Esme thing so seriously. Chances are she'll get tired of making an attempt, and if she doesn't, than I can contemplate my next step from there. But either way, I don't need to let her have so much control over my emotions. You helped me realize that, baby." I smiled at her softly, bringing her hand to my mouth and gently kissing her knuckles. "I don't know how to repay you."

An evil gleam shined in her eyes and although she said nothing, I couldn't help but smirk right back at her. One thing I was learning quickly about this woman, what she didn't say with words, she said a million times louder with her expressions.

"I'm just glad you're feeling better, Edward. I hated seeing you so upset."

"Well in that case, maybe we can spend some time together once I get back from driving Esme to Palm Beach. Maybe…" I trailed off, not knowing what to say, but feeling something heavy lingering between us. "…maybe we need to talk about things."

I let my eyes burn into hers, trying to silently convey what I thought my mind was thinking but blocking my fucking mouth from saying. Damn…I wanted this girl to be mine, officially and truly.

_Mine._

Her eyes became murky and conflicted at the mention of our impending conversation, so I hurriedly sailed over it in order to make her turmoil disappear. "Hey, it's no big deal, Bella."

She smiled, although it didn't reach her eyes. "You're right, Edward. We'll talk." She squeezed my hand once more and let it go before standing on her tiptoes to press her lips to mine. "You need to get to work and I need to shower. See you soon?"

I hugged her tightly and reveled in the warmth of her body before kissing her once more. "Yeah, all right. Call me later?"

She nodded and gave me one last chaste kiss, smiling sweetly as she slowly closed the door.

Holy fuck, my heart was beating out of my chest.

I was walking to my car with the biggest fucking spring in my step, when suddenly my phone began ringing. I looked down to see 'Mommy Dearest' on the screen, only this time, instead of being a punk-ass bitch, I manned up and answered the phone.

"Yeah?"

"Edward, don't hang up."

I sighed. "I'm not going to hang up, but I am going to be late for work. What can I do for you?"

I was met with silence on the other end as I started my car, and I really didn't have time for this shit. "What's the deal, Esme?"

"I just wanted you to know that I talked to your father…for quite awhile. There was so much that needed to be resolved between us."

I immediately began panicking as I imagined all the damage that she could've potentially inflicted upon my pop. He was over her bullshit, but then again, it was all flying back in his face at brute force." Did you fuck with him, Esme?" I growled menacingly.

"No, I didn't Edward, but it was extremely emotional for us. We could both use someone to talk to, I'm sure."

"I'm sure you could," I spat condescendingly, hitting the gas harder as I turned off of Bella's street. "I've got to go."

I called work and informed them that I wouldn't be in today after all. While Bella was right by reminding me that my dad was a grown-ass man, it didn't change the fact that Esme had the power to fuck him up in more ways than one. My pop was my best friend, and whether he told Esme to fuck off or she made him fall to his knees…he needed me.

And unlike others in his life, I would never fucking let him down.

.

**A/N:**

**Brits: **Jeez, one minute I feel all sad for Playboyward, the next I want to jump his bones. What the hell?

**Kate**: I have a better idea...remember that thingy they do in _Wayne's World_, with the alternate endings? **DOODELY-DOO, DOODELY-DOO**...

**SCENE: A meadow filled with flowers…Brits and Kate run to the center, falling into each others' arms as violins swell in the background.**

**Kate**: TWIN! I've MISSED YOU! AND LOOK OVER THERE...PLAYBOYWARD AND DR. FUCK-ME-NOW, ALL NEKKID AND WAITING FOR US!

**Brits: **Doood, twin, has Dr. Fuck-me-now been prescribing you some of the good shit? And if so, pass it the hell over. Cuz I see some trouble on the horizon and I'd prefer to be heavily medicated.

**Kate**: If by medicated, you mean getting all dranwk and hiding under the bed again, I will not argue with you. In fact…move over. Because I agree that storm clouds may be brewing on the horizon…or maybe I DID just hit the good stuff too hard…mix that shiz with champagne and you never know what happens…

**Brits: **We just need to focus on the happy times. Like, remember that smut-take we wrote for Fandom for Preemies? Dayum, that was fun to write...

**Kate:** Oh dear Lord yes...and to think it's all SOOPER-EXCLUSIVE to the Fandom for Preemies compilation: (www(DOT)fandomforpreemies(DOT)blogspot(DOT))...that makes it all naughty and such. BECAUSE YES, YOU CAN ONLY GET IT BY HEADING OVER THERE AND CONTRIBUTING, YO! No amount of persuasion will make us give up the goods otherwise!

**Brits: **That's right, not only will you get a fuck-hawt DLS outtake (and wouldn't YOU like to know which hot-doc is starring in it! MUAHAHAHAHA!), but plenty of other talented authors donated their skill to the cause. Even as small as a $5 donation will get you your all access pass to outtakes, smut-takes, and one-shots galore! Check it out!

**Kate:** HEY TWIN! Guess what Dr. McYummy just showed me? (Aside from the usual, y'know...)

**Brits: **Ummm, so he DIDN'T show you his giant peen? I don't understand...what is it?

**Kate:** ASIDE FROM THAT, obviously! So you know that whole WONKA-VISION from _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_? In honor of Halloween, I'm beaming you a king-size Almond-Joy right now...y'know...Mounds...with NUTS!

**Brits: **Mmmm...nuts. Well, to our lovely readers, you can follow us on Twitter (Brits23 and Lazykatevamp) and if you would be so inclined, would you drop us a review or fifty? My twin and I sure do love hearing from you! Any predictions on what's next for our favorite threesome? (Don't be pervy, you know what I mean). Drop us a line and let us know! Until next time! :)

**Kate mumbles around Almond Joy nuts and Brits translates: **Thank you and we LOVE YOU! Talk to you soon!


	13. Ghosts of the Past

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder-Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**Chapter Thirteen - Ghosts of the Past**

**-x-x-**

**CPOV**

Friday night had found me in my office, attempting to keep my mind on the work in front of me rather than the chaos that had unleashed around me the past few days.

_She_ was back.

Everything was so incredibly different this time around. Esme had come to Miami to visit Edward in the past, but either I was out of town for work or her visits were so brief that I never had to even contemplate the possibility that we would come face-to-face again. But now, she lingered as thickly as the humidity in the hot Miami air. She clung to every surface uncomfortably, lurking in the distance, making me unable to forget that she was near.

I didn't want her.

I would never want her again after I'd realized what she had become. But somewhere deep in the recesses of my mind, I knew there was a part of me that still longed for the young, carefree girl that I had once fallen in love with. Luckily for me, I knew the difference between Esme Platt and Esme Masen…and that difference was the equivalent of night and day.

The worst part of this entire situation was that her constant badgering of Edward to forgive her was making him close in on himself. He didn't want to talk to me, or anyone for that matter, opting for locking his door and burying himself in his sorrow. It was amazing that I had gotten my son to admit to me what he did, regarding his mother. He was so dead set on protecting me from the wrath of Esme that he kept me entirely out of the loop when it came to her intentions. I understood what he was trying to do, appreciated it even. But when it came down to it, he was _my_ son, and if anyone was going to do the protecting, it would be me.

I threw my pen down and ran both hands through my hair, sighing loudly. There was no point in even attempting to accomplish an ounce of work when the daunting troubles in my life weighed so heavily on my mind. Normally I was adamant about keeping my professional and personal lives separate - but it seemed as though I was unable to compartmentalize the enormity of this situation.

This battle Edward and I were silently preparing to fight with Esme had been years in the making. For so long our words had been left unspoken. Her lies continued to pile up on top of one another, and our insistence on ignoring the lingering feelings we didn't want to acknowledge only strengthened as time continued to pass by. Whether we wanted to admit it or not, the three of us were undeniably bound. Esme and I had come together and we had created a son. Even if nothing about our circumstance was conventional, I would never regret Edward.

Regardless if the three of us were unable to join together as some sort of "family unit" and resolve our many built-up issues, Edward and I both needed to seek closure with this woman…or take a giant leap of faith and let her back in.

I just wanted what was best for my son, and only he knew what that was. I could only hope, for his peace of mind, that he would soon figure it out.

I knew it was only a matter of time before she sought me out. The past few days I had found myself eyeing my surroundings like a hawk, waiting for her to ambush me with pleas of forgiveness. In some masochistic way, I was hungry for her to approach me, to allow myself the luxury of being entirely heartless and uncaring, just as she had been since the moment she decided I couldn't be a father to my son.

She would feel my wrath one way or another - I was determined to make her understand just how little I thought of her for denying me of my only child. It was unforgivable, no matter what her supposed justifications might have been.

I was so resentful of her for being capable of turning me into this angry, hostile person. I was a good man, I genuinely cared for every living creature on this earth. But when it came to her and the unspeakable way she had betrayed me, there was nothing but a pure, evil rage that surged throughout my body. My hatred replaced blood and bone, leaving nothing more than a rabid beast, eager to feed on the repentance of the woman who had taken every single thing away from me.

I shut my eyes tightly and gritted my teeth, trying to maintain composure. I was so tired of being pissed off, of constantly wondering whether Edward was all right or if she had broken him down further. Especially when the damn kid wouldn't even answer his phone. I tried him once more, not surprised in the least when it went straight to voicemail. If I couldn't reach him by morning, I'd be showing up on his doorstep shortly thereafter.

I quickly abandoned the notion of getting anything accomplished and began locking up the office, briefly considering calling Bella before deciding against it. It wasn't that I didn't want to hear her voice. On the contrary, I had no doubt that her sweet tone pouring into my ear would be the best way to calm my rattled nerves. I just felt as if I needed to keep my own happiness at bay until this situation had been resolved one way or another. Who was I to cast all the pain aside when Edward was nearly being consumed by it? I wouldn't push Bella away, but until I could figure out a solution to the never-ending problem that was Esme, I'd have to sacrifice some of my time with her.

My eyes were heavy and aching as I locked the main door behind me, stretching my arms over my head as I leisurely made my way toward my car. I was unsure if sleep would evade me as it had in the past nights, but I planned on consuming a hearty dose of alcohol to help further along the process.

I froze instantly as I began to focus in on the figure standing in the distance. I shouldn't have been remotely surprised when I saw her waiting for me in the dimly lit parking lot, and yet I still wasn't prepared for it. Her hair was longer, her hips were a tad wider, her skin held lines that I had no memory of - but there was no doubt that it was her…she had a face that I was incapable of forgetting.

I figured that when I saw her again for the first time in twenty-eight years, it would feel like a gunshot wound to the heart, or a punch to the gut. Maybe both. But as my blood pumped loudly in my ears, I had never felt more eerily calm than the moment I strode carefully in her direction. I struggled not to gaze upon her as she stood there, determined not to search for remnants of the girl I had once given my heart to.

I hated the part of me that wanted to find my sweet Esme, the young woman who promised me she'd love me until the stars faded from the sky. She had been dead for so long now, and I was resentful that I felt the need to constantly remind myself of it.

I had Bella now…I no longer needed that long lost girl of my past.

She was visibly shaken as I approached her, and she had the nerve to look apologetic as she gently rested against the side of her expensive rental car. "How did you find me?" I murmured flippantly.

"A shot in the dark, really," she answered softly, averting her eyes from me. "I Googled your name and came across your practice's website; I saw the light through the window and the car in the parking lot and thought perhaps it was you."

I walked to my car and unlocked it, throwing my briefcase into the passenger side. "Well you've found me…now what?"

Esme shook her head, examining the pavement beneath her feet as she remained silent. "I don't know, Carlisle."

I swallowed thickly as she spoke my name, forcing myself once again to remember that this was _not_ the girl I fell in love with all those years ago. "If you came here to damage him further, than you need to catch the first plane out of town and never look back, Esme," I warned her, my fists tightening at my sides.

She lifted her eyes to the sky in exasperation, gesturing with her hands. "Is it so hard to believe that I don't _want _to hurt my son? That maybe I'm attempting to atone for my shortcomings the only way I know how?"

"Shortcomings," I laughed humorlessly. "Is that what you call it…abandoning Edward over and over again while you travel the world? Making him feel so incredibly worthless throughout his childhood? Or were you referring to the fact that you kept my son from me for eighteen fucking years, not even deeming me worthy enough to know that he existed? Shortcomings…perhaps instead you should try atoning for your blackened heart and your shriveled, bitter soul, Esme." I felt my face heat as I ran my hand viciously through my hair, pacing away from her entirely. I couldn't look at her, let alone be in the same vicinity.

She was wise enough not to speak for a long moment; I could hear nothing but the muffled sound of traffic echoing in the distance.

I felt the words of anger and blame rising up in my throat, and I needed her to hear them. However, it would have been extremely unwise to air my dirty laundry in the middle of my office's parking lot. As much as the thought disgusted me in that moment, I knew we'd have to go somewhere to talk this out.

"Follow me," I said shortly, climbing into my vehicle and slamming the door behind me. I turned the key and cranked the radio, my running playlist blaring loudly from the speakers as I peeled out of the parking lot.

**-x-x-**

My house was blaringly quiet as I unlocked the door and walked through it, throwing my keys onto the counter. I didn't have to look behind me to know she was following, because I could feel her there.

I turned the light on in the dining room, quickly grabbing myself a Guinness and walking into the darkened living room. The light shined meekly into the darkness, her silhouette casting a shadow in the archway as she stared back at me. She was like a dark angel, as she silently occupied my home. Positively beautiful but dangerous and broken. Capable of producing so much pain and destitution that it could make your head spin.

My anger was bubbling beneath my skin like boiling water. Everything I only had the opportunity to imagine and never witness danced behind my clenched eyelids. Little League games I couldn't coach, illnesses I couldn't heal, heartache I couldn't mend…a life I had helped create but never had the pleasure of knowing. "You've taken everything from me," I accused her hoarsely, watching my fists tremble in front of me as my elbows rested on my thighs. "Everything, Esme."

She seemed visibly shaken by the seething anger laced with the unsettling calm that my body was emanating. "My choices gave our son the opportunity to have a privileged life, Carlisle! Perhaps I've taken everything from you, but my decisions have given _him_ everything in return, don't you see?"

I stood from the couch and marched toward her, driven by nothing but pure, unadulterated rage. "You've given him everything but his father!"

She recoiled as I glared at her contemptuously, my chest rising and falling hastily while I struggled to steady my breathing. She carefully lifted her hand in my direction but quickly changed her mind, letting it fall to her throat. "I know you have all the reason in the world to despise me…but I've come here to give you the explanation you've deserved for so many years. I'm not saying what I've done can be justified, but you have a right to know why I've done it. We need to start at the beginning."

I chuckled dryly. "Don't you mean the end?"

I put my head in my hands and attempted to calm myself down as I sat back down on the couch, faintly registering Esme sitting in the recliner to the right of me. As painful as this was and despite how many bad memories our encounter was conjuring up, I knew this conversation had to happen. I felt my rage segue into a deep seated sense of anguish, a familiar old pain that I only now realized never fully left the caverns of my heart, never stopped twisting in my gut and sure as hell never left the depths of my mind. Suddenly I was vulnerable in her clutches again, and I hated myself for it. I didn't even recognize my voice as I addressed her, running my hand through my hair with a sigh. "You don't even know how desperately I loved you…"

She had the decency to sob quietly as the shadows of the darkened room enveloped her. Listening to her cry for what we once had gave me a sick sense of joy, but not an ounce of comfort. "Carlisle…"

"Don't," I demanded sharply, my jaw clenched tight. "Don't say my name like that."

"When I lost contact with you, I was certain I'd never survive it," she whispered quietly. I ignored the twisting in my chest as she breathily continued. "Looking back at you as my parents drove me further away, watching you get smaller and smaller until you disappeared in front of me…my heart splintered into a thousand pieces. I was so determined, after I had left you that summer. Through hell or high water, I was going to find you again."

"You had my phone number, my address, a piece of my fucking soul…" I took a deep breath as my voice rose in anger, fighting against my rage to calm down. "You knew how to find me, so why the hell didn't you?"

She shook her head, streams of tears sliding down her cheeks and glistening in the soft moonlight that shined through the parted blinds. "I had never been more ready to defy my parents," she whispered. "I had never gone against their wishes a day in my life, but for you…I would have done it a million times over. I would have done anything for you."

"Why don't you spare me the dramatics and get to the part where you break my heart and deny me my child," I demanded scathingly.

I saw her shaking out of the corner of my eye, and it was just so surreal that she was here now, driving the knife further into my heart by just existing. At least with her absence I could pretend that our entire affair had been a long lost dream. But here she was, and nothing about our reunion had been rewarding. Years of therapy were lost to me as I drowned in past feelings for her and the empty pain she alone caused by keeping Edward from me. Always conflicted, always choking on my own anguish; one hour with this woman had completely erased every step of my progress.

Fuck her.

"When I realized that I was pregnant, I was so scared, Carlisle." She swallowed thickly before continuing. "I didn't know if you would be angry about it, or if you would even want me after finding out that I was carrying your child."

I scoffed indignantly. "That's bullshit and you know it, Esme. If you knew me at all, you wouldn't have doubted for a second my commitment to you or our unborn child."

"Maybe," she conceded, wrapping her arms around herself. "Maybe it was easier for me to doubt you rather than to take that first, terrifying step. I would have had to leave my parents for the first time in my life, abandon the wealth and security and go it alone, with you, if you'd want me. I had no doubt my parents would disown me, and still somehow doubted that you would want me in return. I was just a kid…I wasn't ready to be a mother, I wasn't even capable of being responsible for _my_ actions because of my sheltered life. So I took the easy way out, and completely lost who I truly was in the process."

"How tragic for you," I sneered sarcastically.

She continued her tale without acknowledging my acidic comment. "My mother put two and two together after I had been repeatedly ill each morning, and crying myself to sleep each night. She and my father knew of my feelings for you and took our bond as nothing more than a summer romance. If they even thought for a second that I was seriously in love with you, they would have had my head.

"She asked me point blank if we had slept together, and I burst into tears. She slapped me across the face and told me that Platt women don't behave like common whores. She then demanded to know if I was pregnant and I completely broke down, grabbing at her skirt and pleading with her that I loved you more than anything. That we made love because we couldn't contain the need we felt for one another."

My eyes began to burn as I shook my head, refusing to acknowledge what we once had. My throat was so constricted that I couldn't speak, I only continued to shake my head from side to side as her breathing quivered.

"Edward Masen had been pursuing me since before my summer in Miami, and our parents were hopeful that our families would be joined by our matrimony. He was several years older than me, but made it very clear what his intentions were once I turned eighteen. I had no desire of marrying him once I met you, but…oh Carlisle, my parents were so angry with me. They promised they'd leave me with nothing if I abandoned them for you. I was young and scared and…Edward Senior had the potential to offer me security and our baby a promising life; he was willing to care for Edward as his own son. The decision to attempt to erase you from my memory nearly killed me, but I didn't have the gall to step away from the safety of my sheltered world and take a chance on you. I was selfish and naïve and pathetic - I'll always be sorry for what I've taken from you."

I bit the inside of my bottom lip violently, fighting against the sorrow that threatened to weaken me when I only ever wanted to be strong when it came to this woman. It was bowling me over with every cruel reminder of what I had lost, and soon my pain had enveloped me entirely. I bid farewell to the last bit of reserve I had before the tears slipped past my eyelashes. With a roar I threw my bottle of Guinness against the opposite wall, pushing my palms into my eyes as I surrendered to missed memories that I would never get back.

"Everything you took for granted," I murmured brokenly, choking on my words. "Birthdays, school plays, soccer practices, kissing him goodnight…do you know how heartbroken I am that I wasn't there for _any_ of the little things that mattered most? And the irony of it is that you weren't even around when he needed you. You've missed out on just as much as I have, only my absence was out of my control. You abandoned him out of pure selfishness, and I abandoned him because I wasn't given any other choice. If you were going to keep him from his own father, his flesh and fucking blood, couldn't you have at least been a mother to him in the process?"

"Don't you think I wanted to be?" she cried loudly, pressing her hand violently against her chest. "All I wanted was to be the mother he deserved, but if I did…if I gave into that part of me, then it would have killed me, Carlisle! It would have killed me because the same part of me that was the perfect mother to Edward, was also the woman that lived for _you_! If I went there…if I embraced that person inside me, then I never would have survived the path I had chosen with Edward Senior."

"Why didn't you just come back?" I begged her, forgetting who I was and what I had gone through and transporting us back to when we were kids again, to a time when I had loved her…an instance where we had the whole world in front of us. "I would have taken care of you, the both of you. We would have raised him together and maybe we wouldn't have been filthy rich, but we wouldn't have _needed_ it. We'd be comfortable and we'd have enough love to make up for all of the meaningless things that money can buy. We could have had this beautiful life…and yet I've spent the majority of mine trying to get over you and your betrayal."

"I spent the first ten years of Edward's life in nothing but a fog of dreams and fantasies. Every second I closed my eyes, I envisioned what might have been. I saw us with our son, finding a small place together, Edward smiling at you with your own breathtaking smile. The happiness we could have found in one another, the life we could have had if I would've just taken that leap of faith and contacted you. My husband did the best he could, he was a good man but…no one could have ever filled the hole you left in my heart." She inhaled a shuddering breath, and I could feel her watching me as she contemplated her words. "You're still so beautiful…"

"No," I demanded in a whisper, focusing on my hands that were laced in front of me. "You've lost any right you ever had to talk to me like that."

"I'm sorry," she murmured gently, her fingers coming up to swipe beneath her eyes as silence overtook us.

"Why only ten years?" I asked quietly, fatigue and exhaustion quickly swallowing me whole as the battle continued to rage on around us. I wanted this to be over with, and yet I knew deep down that we had only just begun.

"What do you mean?"

"You said you dreamt of what our life could have been for the first ten years of Edward's life. What happened after that?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "Because it was eating me alive. I was consumed by you, and by everything I had given up. I was withdrawn from my son as well as my husband, and it wasn't fair to either one of them. One day I looked in the mirror, straightened my posture and held my head high. That was the moment I embraced my decision…that was the moment I became Esme Platt-Masen. You see, when Edward was little, I was distant from him because I was always lost in my head, envisioning what we could have had. And during the rest of his childhood I was revolting against my feelings for you and my yearnings for another life. I aggressively joined the elite lifestyle and the husband I had chosen, because I was sick of all the pain and regret that came along with secretly being in love with you. I abandoned it, my son, myself…and it turned me into a cold, treacherous woman."

"Aren't you still that woman?" I questioned honestly.

She shrugged a shoulder, meeting my eyes for the first time since we had reunited. "I suppose I still am. My husband has been gone for so long now, yet I'm still upholding our extravagant, carefree lifestyle. But I never really wanted it in the first place, so why do I continue to adhere to it? I've just been re-examining my life and…I'm so incredibly unhappy. I know I don't deserve Edward's forgiveness, and I know I can't transform into a better person overnight; but I _want _to be better, isn't that a start?"

"Have you ever sought out therapy over this, Esme?"

She shook her head. "No, that would have made me acknowledge it, and I would have never allowed myself to do that."

"And you're acknowledging it now?"

"Honestly, I'm not just acknowledging it, I'm _buried _in it. It's all I can think about, it weighs so heavily in my mind and I'm desperate to make things better - between all of us. And I'm afraid it's too late."

"It might just be," I agreed.

The room was silent for many minutes as I closed my eyes, trying to get a hold of all the conflicting emotions I had swarming inside me.

"Have you been to counseling, Carlisle?"

I chuckled dryly. "For years and years. Although you've erased every bit of progress I've made just by being here tonight. Add that onto the pile of resentment I feel for you."

"I'm sorry," she apologized once more.

I felt the urge to throw more hurtful words in her direction, but I had a suspicion that it would only make me feel worse in the end. Instead I arose from the couch and wordlessly strode to the small closet in the hallway, retrieving a broom and dustpan. I cleaned the mess I had made in a fit of rage, feeling remorseful over physically losing control of my emotions in such a way. But really, it would have only been a matter of time before the pain of my past had reached its boiling point. Now that I had erupted, I felt an unsettling sense of calm and serenity wash over me, all while the war still raged on inside me.

I had never been more confused.

After I cleaned up the broken glass, I retrieved two bottles of water from the refrigerator and silently returned to the living room, handing one to Esme without so much as glancing in her direction.

She thanked me softly, but otherwise our awkward silence continued to dominate the room. I calculated my next words carefully, knowing that at this point, there was no going back.

"We've got twenty-eight years of talking to do," I murmured.

"I know, and it's important that we do so, for Edward's sake."

I pointed a finger and stared at her intently. "Look me in the eye right now and tell me you only have his best interest in mind. That you're ready to put him before anything else in your life, like a good parent should. If you have any other ulterior motive, then you need to get the hell out of my house, _now_."

She turned to face me, green eyes burning into mine intensely. It was still so amazing how identical Edward was to her. It only made it hurt that much worse, knowing that I could have had a beautiful family and instead had to endure this life alone. "I swear to you, Carlisle. I swear on my life, on everything we'd once had between us. I've always loved Edward more than words could possibly express - and now I want to prove it. I want to be more like the woman you fell in love with, not the woman who pushed you away."

"We'll never be together like that again, Esme. Never again."

"I know," she nodded, studying her wringing hands. "I've never expected you to forget everything I've done and take me into your arms; I'm not that foolish, but I'm hoping to one day be a person you don't despise. That's all I could ever want out of this whole process - my son to know that his mother loves him unconditionally, and for you to know that I'll never forgive myself for hurting you in such a way. It may take the rest of my life, but I want to make things right…for all of us. Please, Carlisle."

I met her eyes and nodded, taking a swig from my water before turning in her direction. "Then where do we begin?"

**-x-x-**

Hours had passed. The night had transformed to morning and still we continued on. No more blatant hatred had fallen from my lips, even when my frustration built up again and again. I was tired of being angry and scorned. I wanted something positive to come out of this experience rather than a lingering sense of pain and incompletion.

And much to my surprise, I believed her when she said she wanted to be a better person. I couldn't deny the love I saw in her eyes when she spoke of our son, of becoming a part of his life and making an effort to be the mother he deserved, even if it was too late to make up for the past.

We talked, we cried, we yelled, we screamed…and in the end, we were better because of it.

I had to recognize that while Esme had made some horrible decisions and crumbled under the pressure, she had thought at the time that Edward Masen's security would benefit our son in the long run. She knew she was in the wrong by distancing herself from her child, and acknowledged how despicable her actions were. She was owning up to everything and insisting that if she had it to do over, she never would have taken the easy road out. She would have followed her heart, loved our son…loved _me._

I didn't need that confirmation. Knowing that Esme would have chosen me if she had the chance did nothing to benefit me. I wouldn't let myself see the girl of my dreams from ages ago, nor would I allow myself to revisit the yearning fantasies I'd once had to make her a part of my family. That ship had long since sailed, and Edward was nearly thirty years old. She couldn't go back in time and make things right, but the fact that she was atoning for her mistakes and being honest and up front had to be acknowledged.

I would forever blame her for keeping my son from me, but at the end of our long and painful conversation, I had decided to forgive her.

Really, it was all I could do.

I was still outraged at the way she had withdrawn herself from Edward for most of his childhood, but I truly hoped that they could figure out a way to exist as mother and son. I could never fault Edward if he decided to cut off ties with Esme completely. I knew his childhood scars ran deep, and that kind of pain was difficult to recover from. But now that I had spent the last seven hours talking to the woman in question, I no longer doubted her sincerity. Now she just needed to prove it to Edward.

The sun slowly started creeping over the horizon, turning the darkened night into a pink and orange morning sky. I stood from the couch and stretched widely, yawning as Esme stood from the recliner. She looked tired, but much more at ease than when I had first encountered her in the parking lot.

I froze as she took my hand, my heartbeat reluctantly quickening as she gazed up at me. "Thank you for hearing me out. Thank you for giving me a chance. It's one of the things I've admired about you the most, your ability to forgive, the beauty of your soul. It's what I fell in love with."

I shook my head, giving her hand a squeeze before walking away from her. I didn't want to hear the words that reminded me of a time when my heart positively ached for her. I had to keep those emotions in the past and lock them away; I had another woman who I was ready to devote myself to. "Are you sure it wasn't my devastatingly good looks?" I asked dryly, smiling faintly at her as I led her to the front door.

She blushed but said nothing, suddenly reluctant to meet my eyes.

I opened the door and squinted as the early morning sun broke through the trees, a slight burst of frigid air washing over my skin. This was the ideal time of day to go for a run, but now all I wanted to do was sleep. I was so physically and mentally exhausted that I could barely remain upright. Luckily I had taken a much needed weekend off, and had nothing to do for the remainder of the day but catch up on my rest.

I sighed and averted my eyes, not able to look at her directly without a slight pain in my chest that I still refused to acknowledge. "Are you all right to drive? Shall I call you a cab?"

She twisted her nose in disgust. "A cab? Please…"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Rome wasn't built in a day, I'll have to remind myself of that."

"I'm trying, Carlisle," she smiled tentatively.

I shook my head. "Just…take it slow with Edward? Your sudden bombardment of love has him utterly confused. It's no wonder he sees it as insincere, when he's suddenly drowning in it."

"I'll try. Hopefully he'll be driving me to Palm Beach today, and we'll have some time to discuss things. Our conversation has given me so much insight, Carlisle. I feel infinitely better, and now more than ever, I'm determined to reconnect with Edward any way he'll have me. I'm…scared, to take this step, terrified actually. But the last time I was frightened, I gave up a beautiful life and broke the hearts of two amazing men. I won't make the same mistake twice. You and Edward deserve better than that."

"Just remember to take it easy on him. Emotions are hard for him to deal with, and it's taking its toll."

She nodded. "I won't forget."

Silence overtook us once more, my eyes studying anything but the woman standing in front of me.

"You can look at me, you know," she spoke softly.

"No…I really can't." And I couldn't even pinpoint exactly why that was.

She went to wrap her arms around me and I stopped her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly. "Take care of yourself, and please…promise me you'll stay true to who you are. The girl I met all those years ago, I have no doubt that she's still in there, as beautiful and caring as ever."

"That's all I've ever wanted to be…the girl you fell in love with."

I squeezed her hand once more and let her go, watching her walk away from me as the sun rose higher along the skyline. I didn't want her speaking to me with such emotion, with such depth behind those green eyes. I wanted none of it.

I didn't have the energy to process everything that had happened in the last seven hours of my life. Instead I staggered to my bedroom, stripped down to my boxers and collapsed into bed. I was tired of over thinking things to death. For now, all I wanted to do was sleep.

**-x-x-**

I was awoken far earlier than I would have liked by the shrill beeping of my cell phone. My first instinct was to let it go to voicemail, but then I realized it could have been Edward or Bella. I jumped from bed and grabbed my discarded pants on the floor, fishing through the pockets until I found my phone. "Hello?" I answered exasperatedly, winded from the struggle of answering in time.

"Are you okay, pop?"

"What? Yeah, I'm fine. I should be asking _you _that question." I ran my hand through my hair, slightly disoriented as I tried to find my bearings.

"So you spent hours on end facing the wrath of Hurricane Esme, and that didn't fuck you up in the least?"

I flopped back down on my bed, tucking an arm behind my head. "Wow, it didn't take long for her to contact you."

"Of course it didn't…so what happened? I'm coming over by the way."

"Okay, yeah, come on over. We discussed a lot, but rehashing all of it to you would take more effort than I'm capable of putting forth right now, so you'll have to settle for the abridged version." I stood from the bed and yawned, rifling through my dresser to find a pair of jogging pants and a grey hooded _Mercy West_ sweatshirt.

"That's cool, Carlisle. You sure you're all right?" My son worried too much, the concern was heavy in his voice.

"I'm good, kid. I feel much lighter after airing everything that's been bottled up inside me for so long."

"Did you give her hell?" he chuckled.

I smirked. "A bit, yeah."

"Good…okay I'll see you in a few, Dad."

The line quickly went dead and I closed my eyes. He called me Carlisle, he called me pop…but it continually threatened to knock me to my knees whenever he called me Dad.

That was all I ever wanted to be.

**-x-x-**

"So you actually think she's for real?"

I shrugged, nodding my head. "I mean, she still has her issues, but those won't dissipate over night. She has given me her reasons for doing what she's done, made it clear that she regrets the pain she's inflicted, and she sincerely wants to better herself, as well as her relationship with you. I can't fault her for that."

"What about all the other shit she put you through?" Edward was chewing on his thumbnail brutally, seemingly hanging on my every word. He looked like hell, but he seemed rested otherwise.

"I don't know Edward, at some point it's time just to let it all go. It's taking more effort to hate her for what she's done than to just let bygones be bygones."

He nodded. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Are you considering letting her in?" I questioned hesitantly.

"I don't know," he grumbled quietly. "Maybe. I'm probably gonna drive her ass up to Palm Beach, so I'm assuming by the end of the trip I'll have the answers I need."

"You seem to be more willing to talk to your mother," I observed.

He nodded, smiling softly. "Yeah, a good friend of mine helped me put things into perspective."

"And?"

He sighed, running his hand through his hair before turning to me. "And I guess I'm gonna hear Esme out. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? If at some point she decides she doesn't want to pursue our mother/son relationship or whatever, then I'll know that she was never really sincere about it. But if she's honestly making an attempt and not being an uber-bitch in the process, then maybe we can all start to heal, you know?"

I put an arm around Edward's shoulder. "That's very grown-up of you, son," I teased.

He smirked, elbowing me in the side. "Bite me, old man. Anyway, I've gotta grow up sometime, right? I can't be a manwhoring man-child forever, now can I?"

"I suppose not. It sounds like you're ready to make a change, Edward. A girl wouldn't have anything to do with this, would it?"

He smiled widely, shaking his head. "Maybe pop…she might have everything to do with it actually. I swear, man, as soon as I figure out what the hell's going on, you'll be the first to know. My first step is to straighten this shit out with Esme. Then I can start figuring out the other aspects of my life."

I felt the urge to dig for information about this supposed woman in question, but knew better than to push Edward when he was finally opening up. "Sounds like a plan."

He nodded. "You wanna go catch some breakfast? I'm starving."

I yawned, standing from the couch. "Yeah, I could eat, but then I'll promptly be kicking you out…I'm so damn tired."

Edward chuckled and followed me toward the front door. "Okay pop, you sleep, and I'll take a drive with Esme. If I survive it, then I'll call you later tonight."

I laughed, grabbing my keys and slapping his shoulder. "Let's eat, you'll need your strength."

"No joke," he muttered, flashing me a weary look.

I stopped walking and he turned to me, a look of confusion spreading across his face. "Edward, no matter what you decide to do about your mother, things will be all right."

"I know."

"No matter what, kid. For whatever you missed out on when you were growing up, I'm going to do my damndest to make up for that, okay?"

I didn't expect him to hug me, but as my son grabbed me up in a bone-crushing embrace, I couldn't have been more proud of him. "I know, pop. A lot of times I get so angry that I didn't have you when I was a kid. But then I think that maybe I wouldn't have you as a best friend like I do now, so I can't really be regretful about that."

I cleared my throat and slapped his shoulder a couple times as we parted. "I love you, son."

He chuckled and held his hand out, gesturing for me to give him the keys. "I love you too, old man. Now hand over the keys to the ride, I'm tearing this shit up."

I pretended to fish the keys out of my pocket, only when my hand emerged, I was flashing him the middle finger. "Not a chance, sonny, you wouldn't know what to do with this car."

I raced to the driver's side and climbed in, turning over the engine and revving it up as Edward climbed inside. "I'm driving on the way back, pop, just so I can show you how it's done."

I chuckled, sliding on my sunglasses and turning up the music as I pulled out of my driveway. "All right Edward, it's a deal."

**-x-x-**

**BPOV**

"_Hi Bella, it's Carlisle. I'm sorry I'm just now calling you, but like I said…family drama. I know this is really last minute, but I was thinking if you weren't busy this afternoon you could maybe come over and I could make us lunch? There's some things I want to tell you about…nothing weird or heavy, so don't worry. I just want to tell you about some of the stuff that's been going on lately. Anyway, like I said, I know this is last-minute, but just give me a call and let me know. Talk to you soon, sweetheart. Bye."_

I frowned as I deleted Carlisle's voicemail, then slowly went back to towel-drying my hair. It was Sunday morning and he'd called while I was in the shower. As far as I knew my day was open: I'd gotten a brief text from Edward late yesterday afternoon informing me that he was driving Esme to Palm Beach, spending the night, and would be back today, but he hadn't specifically said anything about the two of us getting together. Alice and Jasper were spending the day together, of course, so technically I was free.

A little pang of guilt tugged at my chest, though. Friday night, as I'd held Edward in my arms, I'd made a promise to myself. And as different as that promise looked in the light of day, I couldn't keep living in my fantasy land of denial. It just wasn't going to work that way anymore.

When I'd first moved to Miami, dating around had seemed like the perfect way to start my new life…getting over someone by getting under someone new, as they say. Edward could have been just a fling, albeit the best one-night-stand of my entire life. If Alice and Jasper hadn't hooked up, I probably never would have seen him again. No regrets.

And Carlisle…well, I might never have met him too. If it hadn't been for Alice wanting to impress Jasper with her cooking skills, we wouldn't have spent my birthday at home. I would never have landed in Carlisle's ER, never become involved with one of the most wonderful men I'd ever met in my life.

I could still be dating around…or not…going out with Alice more often instead of splitting most of my free time between the two men I was dating. My best friend and I could have taken some of the check I'd miraculously received in the mail from Jacob the day before and blown it on a great pair of shoes. Or gone out to another club and _I_ could have paid for the bottle service.

It was funny the way Fate played her hand, though, and I could honestly say that I didn't regret a single thing that had happened since I arrived in Miami…except for the fact that I was going to end up hurting one or both of the men that I cared so very much about. I'd never anticipated feeling this way about either one of them…about both of them.

But I did. Was I in love with either of them? I genuinely didn't know. If anyone had told me it was possible to be in love with two guys at the same time, I would have called them a liar, or delusional. It just didn't seem possible. And yet…

I shook my head and finished drying my hair, refusing to entertain any thoughts about putting it off. I knew what I had to do, I just really really _really_ didn't want to do it.

After getting dressed, I called Carlisle back. He answered on the third ring, sounding tired.

"Hey you."

"Hey you yourself. Are you busy today?"

"Not at all. Is everything okay?"

He sighed softly. "Just like I said…family drama. I think it's pretty much over for now, though."

"That's good."

"You have no idea. What time would you like to come over? There are a lot of things I'd like to tell you about, if you don't mind me unburdening myself on you."

"I can come over now, if you'd like. You sound like you need to talk."

"Yeah…I do. This weekend made me realize that there's still a lot of my history you don't know…not that I ever intentionally kept it a secret. I guess I liked having us in our own happy little bubble."

I swallowed hard, knowing exactly what he meant. "Okay, I'll be there soon."

He said goodbye quietly, and I felt a brief flutter of anxiety in my chest. I couldn't imagine that Carlisle had been keeping anything huge from me; I knew vague details about his past, but not the specifics. He'd had a whole life long before our paths crossed, after all. I knew he had a son, and therefore presumably an ex. And my guess was that I was going to find out more about both of them today.

Thunder was starting to rumble faintly in the distance just as I pulled up into Carlisle's driveway and made my way up to his front door. He must have heard me coming, because the door opened before I had a chance to ring the bell, and in an instant I was enveloped in a warm strong hug.

"Whoa, good to see you too!" I laughed, pleasantly surprised at his gesture. He squeezed me again before planting a kiss on the top of my head and then, tipping my head back with fingers under my chin, a gentler one on my lips.

"I don't think I realized until I saw you how much I _needed_ to see you," he murmured finally, before wrapping an arm around my waist and guiding me toward the living room.

I shook my head and smiled at him, he'd sounded much more dejected on the phone, so it was nice to find him in a better mood than I'd expected. There were shadows under his eyes and an uncharacteristic growth of stubble on his jaw, but his expression was relaxed and his blue eyes were untroubled.

"So what's going on?" I teased, poking my fingers into his ribs. He grunted, but his hold around my waist didn't relax.

"Maybe I just wanted to see you today."

"Uh-huh, that's not what you said on the phone."

"I know." He nuzzled my hair and again I was struck with how playfully he was acting. Carlisle had never had a problem with showing affection, but he was acting like a kid. "I got some clarity by talking to one of the least-enlightened people I know, but it made me think. How about I make us lunch and I'll spill my guts?"

I batted ineffectually at the strong chest I was pressed against. "You know, every time you invite me over here for a meal, we end up doing something, um, different."

"And what's wrong with that?"

I scowled up at him. "I didn't say there was anything wrong with it, just stating a fact."

"Uh-huh." He was bending over to kiss me again when I wiggled out of his arms.

"Come on, Romeo, let's go out for lunch. My treat."

His eyebrows shot up. "Are we celebrating?"

"Well, I got a pretty hefty check in the mail yesterday from my ex, for all the mortgage payments I helped with over the years. I can't believe it sold that fast."

"Hmm, well at least he ended up being good for something."

"Yep! So let's go have a nice lunch and you can tell me whatever it is you've been holding out about."

He groaned and rolled his eyes. "Okay, let me go shave and change real quick and I'll show you all the skeletons in my closet."

"Sounds good."

He was halfway out of the room before turning back suddenly. "Oh, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure."

"I'm babysitting…well, dog-sitting, rather. She's been playing in the backyard, would you mind letting her in?"

"No problem…whose dog is it?"

"My son's. He's out of town at the moment and I'm usually his go-to guy." He was headed down the hall now, and his voice echoed as I moved toward the sliding glass doors that opened directly onto the back patio. "Don't worry, she's friendly."

The glass door slid open with a soft whoosh just as a brown furball came rocketing up the patio steps and shot past me into the living room. "Whoa," I chuckled, sliding the door shut again and locking it before I turned around to see a very familiar doggy-grin.

I blinked.

Taylor wagged her tail and cocked her head, looking at me.

_This…this does not compute_.

I licked my lips and shook my head, so disoriented that I was actually dizzy. This did not compute. This did not make sense. How did a piece of a completely separate world end up in the living room of this one?

Taylor started jumping up and down, before emitting a short impatient bark.

No. Oh no. No no no…

This was not…

I could feel the wheels in my brain start to move again, rotating and clicking into place like a Rubik's Cube. One piece, then another. And then the last piece hit me in the stomach like a freight train, an undeniable fact that even all the laws of probability and population statistics of Miami couldn't undo.

"Taylor, no barking!" Carlisle admonished, coming back into the room, running his hands through his rumpled blond hair. "Sorry, she gets excited sometimes."

"This is your son's dog?" I barely recognized my own voice, watching through dazed eyes as Carlisle bent and gave Taylor an affectionate pat.

"Yeah, he'll actually be here in about five minutes, he just texted me. I should have introduced you to him a long time ago, but it's a little awkward since he's a couple of years older than you. Plus…" He laughed a little. "I didn't want to have to worry about my own son stealing you away, Edward's something of a ladies' man. He…Bella? What's wrong?"

I was backing slowly away from the nightmare unfolding around me, stopping only to grab my purse. "I've got to go."

Carlisle followed me, his face concerned now. "Bella! What's wrong?"

"I've got to go…" I choked out, knowing that since it was unlikely the earth would open up and swallow me whole, I had to get the hell out of there. "I'm sorry, Carlisle…I'm so sorry."

He shook his head, his lips already parted to question me again. It was when he reached out a hand to me, though, that I turned on my heel, and I ran.

**-x-x-**

**A/N:**

**Kate: **Oh hai Shit, meet Fan!

**Fan**: Hi Shit! It's nice to meet you! I knew we were going to meet sooner or later, but dayum! So, you wanna mix it up or...?

**Shit**: Hey, it was bound to happen, so...HEY WAIT A MINUTE!

**/Kate and Brits hijack "shit-hit-the-fan" discussion:** So, twin, want to, uh, talk about something other than the ZOMG SUPERHEARTFAIL that just occurred?

**Brits**: Um, yes please, anything but (even though it was pretty epic, if I do say so myself)

**Kate, studiously ignoring overflowing trashcan of tissues:** How 'bout the McYummy Treasure Chest you and I started? Y'know, in the interest of furthering Carlisle porn, the great under-explored/poorly exploited corner of the fandom? Yeah. We're compiling a list of fics starring our favorite blond...subscribe and you'll get updates when we add new ones! http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/community/The_McYummy_Treasure_Chest/87212/99/1/1/

**Brits**: Oh yes, check out the Carlisle Porn compilation, you won't regret it! And if you like that, my twin and I are also starting a little sumthin sumthin on Twitter.

**Kate:** So if you stalk the two of us on Twitter like we both believe you do, you already know that Brits and I have made it our mission in life to watch every PFach film/tv appearance there is. See, look what happens to mah twin when I put on this little clip from _Tempted_ ...

**Brits**: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck… **goes into hawtness-induced seizure**

**Kate:** Or the snippet that I actually made a ringtone for her out of this bit from _Arc_...

**Brits**: Mmmmmmmmmmm...yeah baby...RAWR!

**Kate:** See, we realized that we're being selfish hoors by allowing you all to believe that PFach's hawtness is contained to the whole HOOOOOLYSHITTHAT'SAHOTDOC niche the Twilight series has spawned. Which is why we hereby cordially invite you to join us in..._insert dramatic music here_

**Brits**: The PFach Watch-a-long, or #PFachwatchalong in Twitter-speak!

**Kate:** You think we're funny in A/N's? Just wait until you follow us in real time. Check your filter at the door, bitches, it's PERV-TIME, PRIME-TIME! We'll be setting up a scheduled viewing time for our favorite NOM-licious PFach films, with plenty of time in advance for you to procure a copy and be ready to **squawk/ded** along with us!

**Brits**: YES! There is plenty of PFach Porn to be found online, since you can get almost anything through Netflix (Instant and DVD) so the process will be easy! Just tune in and get turned on. WOOT!

**Kate:** TRUST US, this will be epic! Oh...and since we've been kinda dancing around the subject...OKAY, feel free to freak out on us in the comments about what went down in this chappie, but HAVE FAITH! YOUR PERV-TWINS WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN!

**Brits**: Yes, our faithful readers. The heartfail has commenced, and we want to know what you thought of it. Scratch that, we are DYING to know!

**Kate** Trufax, we spent a lot of time flailing over this chapter and what it will bring. Want notifications of teasers/#PFachWatchalong/whatever else we're up to? Hit us up on Twitter: Brits23 and lazykatevamp

**Brits**: Yeah, we can't wait to hear from you! Now send us some reviews, they inspire us to write faster! :)

**Kate**: Yep, especially since Shit has met Fan, and it's on like Donkey Kong from here on out! Love you all, talk to you soon!


	14. Family Ties

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder-Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**Chapter Fourteen - Family Ties  
**

**EPOV**

_Hey pop, I'll be over in ten to pick up Taylor._

My phone beeped back with his reply.

_Sounds good. How did things go?_

I sighed. How _did_ things go? In a nutshell, this was the most time I had spent with Esme in nearly twenty years. Overall, she had been relatively decent. Once I got over my "woe is me" attitude, I could see where my pop was coming from when he suggested that I give her a chance. Maybe she was legitimately interested in making up for the past, and if not, then things could go on as they were now. I was open to mending things with my mother, but not so emotionally invested that I would let her wreck me if given the opportunity. I had decided to give Esme the benefit of the doubt, and not look at the situation so critically. There was no reason to weigh myself down with bitter memories of the past; I wanted a new beginning, and I was pretty fucking positive that I wanted Bella to be the center of it.

_Things went pretty well. I'm done being emo about it. See you in awhile._

Carlisle replied a moment later.

_Hurry up, there's someone I want you to meet._

Hmm, interesting.

_Is it the elusive Sweetheart, in the flesh? _I quickly typed out.

I let out a short chuckle when he replied with nothing but a smiley face.

"A fucking smiley face," I murmured to myself, shaking my head as I stepped harder on the gas. I had to meet the chick who had my dad texting like a thirteen-year-old girl.

Before I knew it I was pulling into Carlisle's drive, whistling as I slammed the car door behind me. First step, pick up my baby girl. Next, get a hold of Bella to see when we could have our impending conversation that could potentially have me kissing the monogamies goodbye forever.

I opened his door and was bombarded by my girl, jumping at me and yelping until I was on my ass in the doorway. I hugged her as she licked my face and pushed her head beneath my chin to hug me back. "Aw, I missed you too, Tay Tay."

She stopped then and put a paw on my forearm, her big brown eyes searching mine intently. I knew Esme's bullshit had her just as stressed as I was - only because she loved me like crazy. She just wanted me to be happy, and I hoped from here on out that she'd be getting her wish. "It's all good, baby girl," I smiled, scratching behind her ears as she dove back in for another doggie hug. "Where's the old man?" I asked her, clambering to my feet and searching the house for my pop.

Finally he emerged from the patio door, one hand scratching the back of his neck absentmindedly as he squinted in perplexity. Truth be told, he looked like a little kid who just had his favorite toy stolen…maybe worse.

"What's up?" I asked him, urgency lacing my voice as he swallowed a lump in his throat. Something wasn't right. I didn't think Esme was the source of his distress, considering I was with her for the last twenty-four hours, and he seemed to be legitimately over what she had done to him in the past. As much as he could ever be, at least.

"I…have no idea what the hell just happened," he murmured in a confused tone, looking out toward the backyard once more.

"Uh…did you lose something?" I questioned.

He shook his head, genuine worry outlining each one of his features. "Yeah, kind of. I mean, my…friend, well she's more than that, my…Bella…"

My head shot up as he mentioned that name, my brow furrowing and my mind instantly alert.

_Bella?_

"Did you say Bella?"

"Yeah, she's the one I wanted you to meet but she just…took off." My pop held his phone in his hand, obviously torn on whether he should call…Bella? What the fuck?

I chuckled, slapping him on the back. "I didn't realize that was such a popular name."

Carlisle looked up at me. "What do you mean?"

"Bella," I smiled, scratching Taylor's head as she jumped at the sound of her name. "That's the name of my…_more than a friend, _too."

"Huh," he mused, still distracted and somewhat gob smacked at what had to have been a hasty retreat on her part.

"Well, let's work through it, pop. Did you say something to piss her off?" I asked him.

He shook his head, blue eyes wide as he ran his fingers through his hair, a trait I had clearly picked up from him. "I don't think so…I mean we were going to grab a bite to eat and have a more serious talk. I was going to open up to her about everything that's happened in the past, give her more of an insight as to who I am as a person. Bella and I…we seemed to have kept ourselves in a bubble where only _we_ existed. It was…amazing while it lasted, but I wanted her to know everything. Maybe she…changed her mind? No, she wouldn't have run out on me like that. I did ask her to let Taylor in, if she didn't like dogs I'm sure she would have told me."

I knelt down and scratched Taylor's belly. "Aw, maybe this ferocious beast freaked her out and she booked it. I'm sure it's nothing major, Carlisle, just send her a text and ask her what happened…or does she not text? I know there are some people your age that do, but not all of them."

Carlisle called me a smart ass half-heartedly before heading to the fridge and grabbing himself a Guinness. "Besides Edward, she's not _my age_," he murmured against the mouth of his bottle.

"Oh Christ, don't tell me it's one of Gladys's friends," I smirked, holding my hands out to catch the beer he threw my way.

My pop shook his head. "Enough with the age cracks, kid. Can't you see I'm freaking out a bit over here?"

Aw shit, now I felt bad. "Sorry, pop, just trying to lighten the mood. What can I do?"

"Ahh, nothing," Carlisle sighed in defeat, leaning against the counter and studying the floor absently. "I guess I'll text her and see if I get a reply, and then call if I still don't hear from her. And yes, son, she texts. Believe it or not, she's…a bit younger than me."

"Yeah?" I raised my eyebrows, leaning against the counter next to him. "Looks like the old man's still got it."

"I guess," he said softly, obviously still troubled by what had taken place before I arrived. "I don't understand what had her so spooked, though, it was so unlike her."

"Well if something freaked her out, she might need some time. I think texting her is the right way to go. Give her space, and if she doesn't reply after awhile, then give her a call later. Although, what the hell do I know? I'm probably the last person that should be giving you advice," I chuckled.

"Hey, did you say that the girl you were dating is named Bella, too?"

"Yeah," I furrowed my brow, shaking my head. "Weird, huh?"

"Certainly a coincidence," he murmured before his expression turned into a smirk. "Well, are you going to tell me about her? Is she older than you? Maybe I can have Young Bella and you can have Old Bella."

I nudged him in the ribs. "Oh please…there is nothing _old _about my Bella. Anyway, I asked you first. Where did you meet her?"

"Uh, actually she was a patient," he smiled sheepishly, running his thumb along his jaw.

"A patient?" I gasped in mock horror. "Well holy shit, Carlisle, I didn't think you had it in you! Don't tell me she was getting treated for a genital herpes flare-up or something?"

He glared at me playfully before smiling wider, seeming to be lost in a memory as he shook his head. "No, it was actually rather adorable, she came in with a peanut allergy, but really she was having a reaction to the amount of Benadryl she had taken. The effect it had on her made her more…loose-lipped if you will. She has sort of stuck with me ever since the moment I met her."

I smiled serenely, happy that my dad had found someone after all these years and yet, something was pulling at the back of my mind. Like a piece of information I was struggling to remember, something that was nagging at me so persistently.

And then I was hit with a distant memory…

_Bella, on our date, asking the woman at the ice cream shoppe if their ice cream was safe for people with peanut allergies._

"_You're allergic to peanuts?" I had asked her._

_"Yeah, long boring story, but I can go into anaphylactic shock if I'm exposed to them in a large enough amount."_

I narrowed my eyes, my heart starting to beat harder than before. No, obviously it was just a coincidence, but still…

Better to just get the question out of the way to calm my irrational paranoia. "What's her last name?" I asked him, the tremor in my voice undeniable.

Stupid, I was being stupid.

He looked up at me then, giddy smile still spread across his face as he met my eyes. "Her last name is Swan, she builds websites, and she's even a little younger than _you_. Is that going to be a problem?" he smirked.

I bit out a harsh chuckle, shaking my head as nothing but the sound of my racing heart blasted in my ears. "Whatever, Carlisle, you're just trying to fuck with me. You knew about my girl somehow and you wanna fuck with me. It's funny, I get it…"

Sweat pooled on the back of my neck as I pulled at a handful of my hair.

Carlisle looked at me in utter confusion and I felt like my surroundings were closing in on me. It was just a fucking prank, it had to be…

"Edward, what are you talking about?" he asked me.

I shook my head, my eyes twisting shut as my inner dialogue blared loudly inside my mind.

_She's been seeing someone else, too, you knew that…_

_Bella Swan…_

_Builds websites…_

_Younger than me?_

No. No, no, no.

"Carlisle, just tell me you're fucking with me and be done with it, okay? This shit isn't funny anymore." I swallowed thickly, setting down the bottle of beer as I stood from my lean against the counter. "How do you know about Bella?"

He put his hands out in a calming gesture, standing until we were face to face. "Just settle down, son, I don't understand what has you so upset. How do I know about Bella? I've been dating her, Edward. How do _you_ know about…"

He stopped talking.

Eyes widened.

Chest heaving.

He met my stare then, blue against green and he held it steadily.

His hand began to shake as he pulled it through his blond hair. "There's no way," he muttered shakily, taking several steps backward as he tore his eyes away from mine. "There's no goddamn way. Edward…" he looked at me then, eyes pleading, heart broken. Only I couldn't feel badly for him because if I was computing this shit correctly, my dad was, my dad _had been, _my competition this whole fucking time. No, this had to have been a sick fucking joke.

"Her roommate is Alice," I sputtered, my heart pounding even harder as Carlisle gasped in shock. Somehow I managed to keep talking. "Alice is dating Jasper, my best friend."

His eyes nearly bugged out in panic, making him look like some sort of fucking cartoon character. "Her roommate's name is Alice," he whispered in an anguished tone. "I don't know anything more about her than that. No…she works for a modeling agency. She's Bella's best friend…"

Fuck.

No fucking way was this happening. No _fucking_ way…

"Your Bella," I started, the words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth and I stuttered, struggling to catch my breath. "She uh…she's been dating another guy?"

My eyes stung and it was foreign but my God it fucking burned and I needed to break something because the pain my father was exuding was telling me motherfucking _everything_ words couldn't.

"You're the other man she's been seeing?" Carlisle choked out, hands balling into fists as he turned his eyes to the ceiling, attempting to control his erratic breathing. "Edward, tell me you're not the other man she's been seeing." He pleaded with me so desperately, like Bella was his world.

But I was trying to come to terms with the fact that Bella was _my _world…

I gave him no answer, feeling like a rat trapped in a cage as I stumbled backwards, needing to get the fuck out of there.

"Edward, tell me you're not!" he demanded, his voice growling in anger I knew wasn't directed at me…it wasn't directed at anyone, because Carlisle was too fucking good for that, wasn't he? My pop was downright amazing, perfect doctor, model citizen…and wouldn't he just make one hell of a boyfriend for our young Isabella? I never even stood a fucking chance…

"I need…" I pulled at my hair, tears burning my eyes and I whimpered, my words falling out of me as I tripped over my feet in a desperate attempt to get to the door. "I need to get the fuck out of here."

Carlisle was calling out behind me, just as clueless and angry and fucked up as I was. But he wanted me to come back and he wanted to work it out because he was my fucking _father. _

But I so desperately needed to run away.

I started the engine of my car, peeling out of the driveway and out of his sight.

And I drove.

Because it was all I could do.

**~xxx~**

**BPOV**

I had absolutely no memory of driving home from Carlisle's house, although I somehow made it there in a daze, half-falling in the front door and stumbling down the hall to my room. It wasn't until I was there that the protective fog surrounding my brain lifted and everything came roaring back to me. I dropped my purse and ran to the bathroom, dropping to my knees in front of the toilet just before throwing up everything in my stomach.

I don't know how long I knelt there, dry-heaving, tears running down my face, the bald truth I'd just uncovered burning into my brain like a red-hot poker. Carlisle and Edward, father and son. I'd been dating, I'd _fucked_, a father and his son.

I retched again before finally sagging over to the side, resting my clammy forehead against the cool porcelain of the bathtub. And then I just cried.

I'd been so stupid, so goddamn stupid. Prancing around Miami, proclaiming that I was a sexually-liberated woman, bragging about having No Regrets about how I'd live my life here. I'd strung along two wonderful men, neither of whom deserved the mind games I'd played or my resistance to commitment. I'd wanted to play, I'd wanted to have everything while being accountable for nothing. I wanted to be intimate with both of them, cuddle with both of them, tell them how much they both meant to me...but then refuse to give either of them a shred of commitment. That one small thing that could have prevented all of _this._

So many little things made sense now...even though the physical resemblance between them wasn't strong, they had many of the same mannerisms. The way they ran their hands through their hair, or how they pinched the bridge of their noses when they were stressed...little things I'd somehow never picked up on.

And their smiles...how could I have been so blind to have not noticed it before? As different as the two of them looked, it was Carlisle's crooked smile from which Edward's had been copied almost perfectly.

Carlisle was the father that Esme had stolen Edward away from, his pop that he always referred to with affection. The man he'd crossed half a country to find, the best friend he'd discovered when the rest of his family had let him down. The most giving, least selfish person he knew, Edward had said.

But _my_ selfishness had come back to bite me in the most horrific, gut-wrenching way. I'd had sex with a father and his son. I recognized in some faint logical part of my brain that it wasn't incest, or illegal, or perverted, but morally I felt filthy inside. And it wasn't bad enough that _I_ now knew about it, but it was inevitable that they both knew by now too. Edward had been on his way over, and Carlisle had wanted to introduce us. My bizarre and hasty exit ensured that _something_ would be said.

Part of me almost couldn't believe that neither of them had mentioned the girl they were dating to the other, but I knew there was no way either of them _could_ have known and kept quiet about it. Carlisle had been worried about the awkwardness of dating a woman younger than his son. Edward was by nature an intensely private person with a playboy reputation to uphold. As impossible and weird as the coincidence was, it evidently had just never come up.

Now it would come up, though, and in the worst possible way. They both probably thought that I'd known, that I'd known all along. Never mind their different last names, distinctly-different appearances, or even the astronomical odds against it...something like this would look intentional to anyone.

I rolled up into a ball and curled onto the floor, crying until my throat was raw and my eyes burnt dry. Then I just lay there.

Some time later, I heard a door open and shut, and then quiet footsteps padding toward my room. I didn't bother trying to hide, what was the point anymore? There was a brief pause just before Alice appeared in the bathroom door, and in a flash she was on her knees and pulling me up into her arms.

"Bella...oh God, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"How did you know?" I whispered, only dully curious.

"Edward called Jasper, he wanted to find out if he'd known the whole time. And he..." She hesitated.

"What?"

"He wanted to know if _you'd_ known."

Nausea roiled around in my stomach again, but I knew there was nothing left in there for me to vomit up. All I was filled with now was disgust, anger, and revulsion...all for myself. "You know I didn't."

"I know, and Jasper told Edward that too."

"Did he believe him?"

Alice sighed. "I don't know. Edward hung up on him right after that."

I sagged back against the bathtub. "I didn't know, Alice, I didn't know. I never would have..."

"Shh," she hushed me gently. "You don't have to tell me that. I know you didn't."

"I was so fucking dumb. Look at me, dating around, thinking I was hot shit..."

"Bella, stop," she commanded quietly, before standing to grab a washcloth from the sink and run it under cold water. She sat back down beside me and pressed it against my hot cheeks, my swollen eyes. "I don't know how in the hell something like this could happen in a city this big, or what the odds were, but it happened. If they weren't related, you wouldn't be beating yourself up like this."

"But they are," I laughed bitterly, my voice beginning to crack. "Alice, I was screwing around with a dad and his son. _How fucked up is that?"_

"You're making it sound like that was all you had," she objected. "You cared about both of them."

"I know, and that's what makes it worse!" I shoved her hand away. "Talk about keeping it all in the family, Daddy and Junior can just share one woman, that makes it all so much easier! We already know we all get along! We can all move in together and make up a schedule for who gets sex on what night! Alice, do you know I had fucking fantasies about having a _threesome_ with them? Oh God, I just..."

I started crying again, harsh wracking sobs this time. Alice slid down next to me, pulling me against her body with surprising strength, and waited until I was so exhausted that I just shook in her arms. "Bella," she started firmly, "You've got to stop this. Yes, it's a messed-up situation, but it's not like it's all your fault, or something you did on purpose. You told both of them you were dating another guy too. Neither of them volunteered information about their personal lives that could have clued you in. So why is this all on your shoulders?"

"Edward said his dad was his best friend," I croaked. "I may have just single-handedly ruined their relationship."

"You must not put very much faith in their relationship, then," she insisted quietly. "Jasper told Edward you didn't know. You've got to believe this will all get straightened out. I'm not saying it'll be pretty or easy, but once it's all out there, no one is going to blame you."

"Jasper...oh God, is he here?"

"No, I asked him to leave us alone." She cocked her head in the direction of my bedroom. "Your phone is ringing."

"Let it ring," I whispered, before pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. "I don't want to talk to anyone."

Alice sighed again and stood up, going into my bedroom and returning with my Blackberry in her hand. "Bella, you have fifteen missed calls."

I shook my head stubbornly. "No."

"Four were from me, eight of them are from Carlisle, three of them are from Edward. You think they wouldn't be calling if they weren't worried sick about you? I was frantic until I got here and saw your car in the driveway."

"Yeah, Edward is so worried that he hung up on Jasper? He probably just wants the chance to tell me what a slut I am to my face."

"You think that about Carlisle too?"

I shut my eyes as pain knifed through me again. Kind, gentle Carlisle...the thought of what must be going through his mind hurt even more, because he'd practically given me permission to break his heart. At the time I hadn't thought it would ever happen, but I'd been wrong. "I don't want to think about that."

"Bella," Alice started, sitting down next to me again, "You've got to..."

"Don't," I interrupted harshly. "Don't tell me what I've got to do. Anything I do right now is just going to hurt them, I don't want to do anything else. I just ruined everything, for everyone."

"How?" she prodded gently.

"Not that either of them would want to have anything to do with me now, but I'd...I'd hoped we could at least stay friends. I finally figured out who I wanted as a boyfriend, and who I wanted as just a friend, and now I won't have either one, for anything. It's all just gone to hell, and it's all my fault."

After a moment I started crying again quietly, and Alice put her arms around me. I don't know how long we'd sat that way, but we both jerked when my Blackberry suddenly rang and vibrated across the tile floor. I eyed it fearfully as Alice picked it up and looked at the display.

"It's Carlisle again," she murmured.

I curled up into a ball again, resting my head on my knees with my arms wrapped tightly around my legs. "Ignore it."

"Shouldn't you..."

"_Alice!" _I shouted, my voice reverberating in the small room. Did I have to hide from my best friend too?

She pressed the ignore button and the shrill ringing abruptly stopped. Then she just sat back and looked at me.

After a few minutes, I scrabbled my thoughts together long enough to speak. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. But I can't talk to them right now. I _can't_. I know what they both must be thinking of me, and right now I don't have the strength to face that, or them. Even if that makes me a chickenshit selfish coward."

She reached out a hand to me, and I slowly uncurled enough to grasp it in my clammy one. "I wanted everything, I wanted it all. I wanted them both. I could have made a decision and cut all this off before it got too fucking weird. Like, it would have made for some awkward family reunions at first, but we could have still eventually laughed at the odds of it all. Now, though..." I shuddered. "It's beyond that. It's just all too far gone now."

She squeezed my hand. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know." I could feel the tears starting to boil back up again, although how I had any left was almost inconceivable. "I don't know what to do. But I can't see them, or talk to them."

"Why?"

"Because if I don't even know what to tell myself, what the fuck am I supposed to tell them?"

Alice considered that before replying carefully. "You can't stay holed up in here forever, Bella. And eventually one of them is going to catch you coming or going. If you don't answer your phone, how long do you think it will be before one of them shows up here?"

I froze, horror trickling through my veins as I realized that she was right. At this very moment, one or both of them could be on their way to my house, and the truth of it was that I was too afraid to see them, to even imagine the fallout that would ensue. "No..."

"Yes, Bella." Alice squeezed my hand again, hard. "I won't let them in, but you can't hide forever. Sooner or later, they'll catch up with you, and you'll be having that conversation whether you want to or not. Do you want that to be on their terms, or yours?"

I lurched to the side, my hand twisting out of hers, my knee crashing painfully against the tile. "I can't..."

"Tell me what you need me to do!" Frustration was laced through her words now. "I'll do whatever you want, but tell me what you're going to do!"

I rolled over to my hands and knees before slowly getting to my feet, my legs shaking as I straightened up. I was immediately grateful for Alice's steadying arm around my waist when a wave of dizziness made the room tilt in front of me. "I've got to get out of here."

"_What_?"

"I'm not going to sit here and wait for the fucking doorbell to ring. I need everyone to just leave me along long enough so I can _think_...no phone calls, no banging on the door, just space for me to get my head wrapped around it all."

Suspicion was making its way across Alice's face. "Where are you going? To Renee's? There's no way you can drive like this..."

"No, I don't need to go that far away." A plan was slowly crystallizing in my mind. "I don't need to run far away like I'm never coming back, I just need to go somewhere that I don't have to worry about either of them demanding answers that I don't know myself. I need it to be quiet so I can just fucking _think_."

She frowned, but I could tell Alice recognized the truth in my words. "So where is that?"

"I don't know…just somewhere far enough there won't be anymore _coincidental _run-ins, I think I've had enough of those to last a lifetime. What's north of here, Fort Lauderdale?"

"You are _not_ driving all the way to Fort Lauderdale," was Alice's immediate reply.

"Actually…yes, yes I am. I want to get the fuck out of Miami. How far is it, an hour?"

"Not even that." Alice raked both her hands through her hair, shoving it into further disarray. "Will you at least let me drive you?"

"No…you've got to work tomorrow and I don't want you to have to help clean up my mess."

"Bella…" I left her behind me as I wobbled into the bedroom, grabbed my only oversize handbag, and shoved a single change of clothing into before dumping the contents of my purse on top of it. Fuck it, thanks to Jackass, I could buy anything else I needed. Right now, the only thought on my mind was getting the fuck _away_ before I had to confront confusion and anger in bright blue or piercing green eyes.

I fished my car keys from the messy pile in my bag and was quickly on my way to the front door when Alice's tearful voice stopped me in my tracks. I turned on my heel to see her holding out my Blackberry. "I'm not letting you leave unless you have your cell phone."

I took one look at it before immediately turning it off, then looked up to meet my best friend's gaze. There were tears spilling unashamedly down her face now, and I moved forward without even thinking, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug that she returned just as tightly. "Promise you'll fucking call me as soon as you get there? I mean it!"

"Yes, I promise. Just…if you happen to talk to either one of them…just tell them I didn't know. Please? And that I'll be back tomorrow?"

She nodded, and the misery on her face was the last thing I saw as I yanked open the front door…and ran away again.

**xoxoxoxo**

Anyone not in my position may not have believed me, but I actually felt my body physically relax the second I left the Miami city limits, heading north on I-95. At first I was genuinely shocked when I saw how close Fort Lauderdale really was, but then I realized it was exactly what I needed: far enough away to be safely alone with my thoughts, but close enough that I could come back the next day.

Because I _was_ coming back.

I knew Alice probably thought my flight was a knee-jerk reaction, a desperate attempt to run away from the mess that was boiling in my wake, but it wasn't that at all. I just needed to be _alone_.

From the moment Alice had told me how many times both Edward and Carlisle had called me, to her own frantic concern, I knew I needed space, and quiet. Had I stayed, Alice would have tried to cheer me up or distract me in her own weirdly wonderful way. Either Edward or Carlisle would have eventually shown up at the door, and with my luck it would have been at the same time, or together. My brain was short-circuiting, and I needed to just be left the fuck _alone_, to process everything on my own.

I didn't let myself think on the drive itself, since I knew it would probably result in me driving off a bridge or presenting a serious hazard to the people around me, so instead I turned up the radio as loud as it would go and just _drove_.

Signs for Fort Lauderdale started showing up surprisingly quickly, and for the first time, I hesitated. I wasn't distracted enough to not care if I ended up in some scummy bedbug-ridden motel, so when I saw a sign for an Embassy Suites, I quickly exited and followed the signs directing me towards it. It may have been more than I wanted to pay for my single night of exile, but at least I knew it would be better than some pay-by-the-hour place.

Twenty minutes later I was sliding my keycard through the reader and stumbling into the dark silent room where too much thinking was awaiting me. I'd been on-edge instead of calm since I'd stepped foot into the generic tranquility of the hotel's lobby, dropping my credit card when I paid and accidentally pushing the wrong button on the elevator. It was amazing I'd managed to find the right room on my own.

I flicked on the entryway light and surveyed the sight in front of me. Everything was blank, bland, and bare, exactly what I needed for the raw thoughts that were starting to poke at the edges of my mind again.

I tossed my purse on the bureau and beelined toward the little bottles of liquor in the minibar. I didn't let myself care that I was probably slugging down a twenty-dollar tiny bottle of vodka without having eaten anything since a granola bar this morning. I didn't let myself recoil from flopping on a bedspread which Alice would have sworn was only washed once a month or so, and I certainly didn't turn on the Blackberry which lay blissfully quiet, buried somewhere in my bag.

I remembered at the last moment to call Alice, assuring her I'd arrived safely, telling her I'd be back tomorrow. I didn't let myself feel _too_ badly when I hung up on her after she began screeching something about Edward…I didn't want to hear it. I wasn't ready to hear it.

After putting the phone back down, I let myself lay back into the pillows with a long shuddering sigh, the kind that only came after a long hard jag of sobbing; I hadn't realized how long I'd been holding it back. The bed was suddenly a thousand times more comfortable even as the vodka started buzzing pleasantly along my nerve endings, and I was sleepier than I would have otherwise believed under the circumstances.

I shut my eyes for a moment, just long enough to let the buzz from the liquor mellow a little bit, but a little bit turned into a lot, and I was just…out.

**xoxoxoxo**

I blinked slowly awake, awareness eventually creeping into the periphery of my consciousness. I lay quietly for a minute, allowing myself to remember where I was, how I'd gotten there, and what I'd done, then I turned my head slowly to see that it was seven o'clock in the evening. No wonder my stomach felt like it was turning inside-out on itself.

I fumbled for the switch on the base of the bedside lamp, squinting at the sudden glare of light. Food, I needed food, or I was going to end up face-down on the floor. If this place didn't have a restaurant attached, I'd order a pizza from whichever place promised the shortest delivery time.

Luckily for me, there was an Italian restaurant attached to the Embassy Suites, and easily accessible from the lobby. My jeans and simple top may have been too casual for _Buona Fortuna_'s dining room, but I probably would be able to get away with it at the bar.

_Carlisle…Edward…_

No. I shoved the thought away, forcing it into my Deal With it Later file. I wasn't ready yet. Just…not yet.

I scooped up my plastic key along with the punchcard they'd given me at checkout: good for three free drinks at the house bar during happy hour. I had a feeling it might come in handy, so I stuffed it in my back pocket before grabbing my wallet and heading out the door.

I didn't have a problem ordering a quiet fast dinner at the bar in _Buona Fortuna_, and I ate ravenously, feeling almost overstuffed by the time I paid the tab and wandered back out through the restaurant's entrance into the hotel's atrium. The glass elevators were just ahead of me, but off to the right was the hotel's bar and, after a moment, I changed direction. I didn't need to get drunk tonight, but I didn't want to be entirely sober either.

My butt had barely hit the barstool before the bartender appeared and flipped a cocktail napkin down neatly in front of me. "What can I get you?"

"Umm…a vodka and cranberry would be great for now, thanks."

He reached back without looking and snatched up a bottle of Grey Goose. "Are you a guest?"

"Yeah, I've got the card…"

"Never mind." He winked at me. "I get the feeling you aren't here to soak the house. Just let me know when you're done so I can enter it into the computer. My name's Ben, let me know if you need anything else, okay?" He plunked down an expertly-finished drink in front of me and I half-regretted not ordering something fancier to see what he could do with it.

"Will do, thanks Ben."

"No problem, wave if you need me."

I nodded, making a mental note to leave him a hefty tip, and lifted my drink to my lips. Hmm, Grey Goose with a little cranberry for color. I'd have to watch Ben and his drinks.

I took another long pull from my drink before slowly putting it down on the bar in front of me.

_Edward. Carlisle._

Not yet.

My fingers were just closing again around the glass I'd just set down, when a quiet voice spoke from my left. "So…are you here for business or pleasure?"

_Are you fucking kidding me_? I turned my head and let my eyes flick just slightly over the handsome businessman who'd been the first to sidle up to me, tie loosened, jacket unbuttoned. "Neither, thanks."

"Just passing through?"

"On my way home, actually," I replied, trying to convey a world of disinterest and sheer _go the fuck away!_ in my voice. It was too bad that bars didn't offer a NOT INTERESTED sign that a single woman could set next to her, to discourage advances such as these.

"Are you here for the conference?" He was good-looking, self-confident enough without being pervy so far, but he was just…generic. There was nothing special about the man leaning casually against the bar next to me. There was no wicked glint in his eyes, no crooked smile that I looked for almost automatically now. I'd heard of beer goggles and rose-colored glasses…now it seemed like I was looking at the world through a different filter of my own. One that judged every other man by _him_.

"No, I'm not."

"I thought I didn't recognize you. I'm Stefan, by the way. You're more than welcome to come over and join us…we got the boring shop-talk out of the way already, so you might find us mildly entertaining." He finished up his come-on with a smile that wasn't creepy or lecherous, it just…wasn't…

"That's nice of you, Stefan, but I'm fine by myself. Thanks anyway."

He blinked in surprise, obviously thrown off by my disinterest. I had a feeling that a guy this good-looking in a clichéd sense wasn't used to being turned down. "Yeah well, hey, if you change your mind…"

"No thanks. Have a good night." I gave him a tight-lipped smile that would hopefully get the message across for good. Stefan gave me one last confused look, then turned back to a group of similarly-dressed men who began snickering as he attempted to recapture a self-confident swagger over to them.

I turned back to my cranberry-flavored Grey Goose and forced myself to down half the glass. It had been a dumb idea, coming here, and now it looked like I was on my way back to my room sooner than I'd expected.

"Hey, slow down, there's more where that came from," Ben chided gently, plunking down a glass of ice water next to me. "They're the usual business-class types, don't let them run you out of _my_ bar."

I sucked up some of the ice water greedily before sitting back and wincing at the inevitable brain freeze. "Are you psychic or something?"

"Nope, I've just seen the same thing over and over again, day after day. You, however…" He narrowed his eyes and pointed one finger at me. "Are a mystery. We get the business class cheating on their spouses. We get the middle class cheating on their spouses. We get the guys looking to get lucky and the girls looking for the business class men. But you…" Here he paused and hummed in contemplation. "I'm not quite sure where to put you."

A reluctant chuckle forced its way up my throat. "I'm none of those, for sure. Are you telling me that's all you get here?"

"In _this_ bar, yeah." Ben punctuated his words by setting down another drink I hadn't seen him mix before I even realized I'd finished my first. "I mean, we get some married couples passing through and all, not so many kids, but for the most part, there are _types_ that come rolling through the hotel bar. You don't seem like a type, though."

I snorted before taking a tentative sip of the drink he'd set down in front of me; it seemed as though he'd gone a little lighter on the Grey Goose this time. "I don't know what type I am."

"I don't think you _are_ a type." He leaned on one elbow and fixed me with a piercing ice-gray stare that somehow managed not to be intimidating. "Gorgeous girl here alone, brave enough to drink by herself in a bar where guys are guaranteed to throw themselves at her…" He whistled softly. "Whatever type you are, I like it."

"You're not hitting on me too, are you?"

Ben laughed and stood back up straight. "Nah, I'm gay. But if I were straight, you'd be my kind of girl. You know what you want, and you're out to go get it. Am I right?"

My throat dried up at his words, and I knew it wasn't just from the alcohol. "Yeah, you're right. Except that I don't know _how_ to go get what I want."

"Umm," was his quick response, before flashing a quick nod to yet another generic businessman at the other end of the bar. "I don't know you, hon, but I find it hard to believe you can't at least figure out what you need to do to get what you want."

The last of the ice water suddenly seemed appealing, and I drank it down quickly before slamming the remainder of my cocktail. I half-coughed, and then laughed weakly. "I wish I was that smart."

Ben narrowed his eyes at me before sliding down to the businessman who was now impatiently tapping a company credit card against the polished wood surface of the bar. I watched through the growing alcohol-haze as he poured him a weak-ass rum and coke before moving back over to me.

"You doing okay?"

"Yeah…I just…I should probably go back to my room." The fleeting desire for booze and the forgetfulness it could bring was being quickly eclipsed by my growing disgust with the whole situation, and my participation in it. I didn't really want to be here, by myself, fending off strangers, trying to fight back those same inevitable thoughts. I wanted to be…

"Uh-huh, just what I thought…you're not a type." Ben grinned at me, and in the next moment there was a full cranberry-tinted beer mug in front of me. "For the road…metaphorically speaking. Just do me a favor and tell any manager-types that might cross your path that you brought it in yourself. And you don't have to actually _drink_ it…just so you know it's there."

I nodded slowly, fishing a twenty-dollar bill out of my wallet and shoving it across the bar toward him. "Thanks for that."

"My pleasure. No regrets, right?"

I froze, his words sending a ridiculous superstitious shiver down to my very bones. "What?"

"No regrets. Whatever you do tomorrow…chug that or not, check out or not…don't have any regrets. You're not the type, I guarantee it."

I picked up the beer stein with ice-cold fingers, forcing myself to smile at Ben as I turned away and walked toward the elevators.

This time, I managed to push the button for the right floor.

My door unlocked with the first swipe of my keycard.

I turned immediately into the bathroom and dumped the entire contents of the beer stein down the bathroom sink, splashing water around the basin so the maid wouldn't have to swab out cranberry stains in the morning.

Grabbing a five-dollar bottle of water from the mini-fridge, I stripped down and slid between the sheets of the bed. It was only then, when I let myself close my eyes and remember the life I'd run from this morning, that everything came back.

Things hurt in different ways to remember; some were like a bruise on my tired brain. Looking at Taylor, feeling that last piece click into place. It was improbable, it was downright impossible, but it _was_. Seeing Carlisle stoop to pat her side, to call her by her name…that hurt like a sore tooth I couldn't help but poke over and over again. It couldn't make sense only because it _shouldn't_. Carlisle couldn't know Taylor. Carlisle couldn't know Edward. Because that made everything…

But the overall puzzle that had fallen into place before me was what hurt the most…that was like a knife in my heart. The truth of it almost burned for me to face, because it was pure unadulterated truth, no matter how I tried to rationalize, ignore, or come up with excuses.

The sickness and self-loathing from earlier had subsided somewhat, to be replaced by a throbbing remorse, a sorrow and guilt that cut me down to my very soul. Neither Edward nor Carlisle deserved what I'd brought on either of them. And regardless of Alice's words, it _was_ my fault. I'd been too intimate with both of them, beyond the point of no return, beyond the point where the inevitable revelation of their relationship could have been awkwardly laughed off.

It didn't matter that I hadn't known, what _did_ matter was that I'd been too selfish to consider what my actions and choices could have meant to the two men I'd been stringing along. To the man I'd hoped to keep in a romantic sense, everything I'd ever wanted, despite how quickly or precipitously our relationship had progressed. And to the man I'd hoped to keep as a friend, regardless of what we'd shared.

What would _they_ share? Would they compare exactly what I'd done with each? Surely not, that took the whole father-and-son thing to a whole other fucked-up level. But I knew without conceit that both had been hoping I'd commit in some way…only to find out the very competition I'd hinted to both about had, in fact, been their own family.

Everything had changed in the past few hours, though, and there was a new reality for me to face. What I'd hoped for was in all likelihood a thing of the past. My new reality was looking each man in the eye and trying to say _I'm sorry, I didn't know, I'm sorry I hurt you_ without sounding like a pathetic, lying broken record.

A faint wave of nausea tipped up from my stomach, and I hastily grabbed for the bottle of water, sipping a bit, and then placing its coolness alongside my face on the pillow.

My new reality was empty of everything except apologies and, if I was lucky, explanations. I knew deep down inside that Carlisle would be the most politely receptive to both, but would possibly be less able to truly handle them in any kind of long-term sense, especially after the damage Esme had done to him. Edward…Edward's reaction had already been confirmed to me. He would freak out, he'd fly off the handle…I'd be lucky if I was allowed to explain _anything_ to him.

But I couldn't just let them both slip away with _nothing_. I couldn't accept the idea of never seeing either of them again, even if it meant seeing the expressions of both the men I'd loved, in very different ways, twisted in horror or disgust. Or maybe even betrayal. At this point, I genuinely didn't know what to expect. There wasn't even a 'hoping for the best' scenario in my mind, because I'd be a fool to hope for that.

I lay quietly in the hotel room, far from home, far away from two people I knew I'd possibly hurt beyond repair. Two people I cared about…loved…two people I _would_ face, even if they hated me for it. Even if, in the end, I admitted that I was in love with him, only to see his expression turn to anger, hatred, or revulsion, I would do it.

I owed him...and myself...that.

**~xxx~**

**A/N:**

**Kate and Brits hold each other, sobbing, because there's just nothing to be funny about here.**

**Brits**: I uh...***sniff*** when Edward was all like...and Carlisle was...and Bella cried on the...**WAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH**

**Kate:** I KNOW! And then when Edward thought he was no competition for his dad...I WAILED OUT LOUD, Y'ALL! OUT! LOUD!

**Brits**: Oh, dear readers, come a little closer and join us in the Vodka Circle. Let's have a snuggle and drink our sorrows away. **passes twin the bottle**

**Kate chugs hard on the bottle before passing it on** We knew it was coming, we KNEW it, but DAMN! Do you all hate us now? Or are you still in it with us for the long haul?

**Brits**: Please say you're sticking around? As hard as it may be to believe at this juncture, Kate and I are avid believers in the almighty HEA.

**Kate:** Yes! And if that isn't enough to cheer you up a little...how about this? **Kate squeak-squeak-SQUEAKS the Carlisle rubber ducky to make her twin smile** Should we share Part 2 of the #PFachwatchalong now?

Brits: **snorts** Guys...for realz...there is a Carlisle/PFach rubber ducky! Anywho, yes and please! Let 'em have it, twin!

**DuckyFach** SQUEAK! I'M BEING MOLESTED! SQUEAK! PLEASE SEND HELP! SQUEAK!

**Kate stuffs DuckyFach back in the closet** SO! If you like our A/N's, and if you like PFach, then run right over to www(DOT)pfachwatchalong(DOT)wordpress(DOT)com/to get our reviews of PFach's lesser-known gems, in our trademarked Brits-n'-Kate style! Never heard of _Lily_? GET READY!

**Brits**: Guys, we totally have a blog to boast about our PFach love, a place where we can review his past work, aaaaand a place where we can all come together ( uhh, you know what I mean) and watch him...together! **squee** You have to check it out! **Brits gives the DuckyFach the stink eye** You like it and you know it, DuckyFach!

**DuckyFach gives a weak squeak but doesn't deny it**

**Kate:** And from the bottom of our hearts, THANK YOU for every single review, PM, rec, and kind word you give us! Even if we aren't able to reply to everyone, know that YES, WE READ **AND** SHARE EACH AND EVERY ONE! Ask DuckyFach, he'll back us up.

**DuckyFach nods**

**Brits**: This is all true, we love each and every one of you, thanks again! Be sure to follow us on Twitter (Brits23 and Lazykatevamp) to keep up with our crazy asses, to get DLS teasers, or to simply chill out. Oh, and follow PFachWatchalong too!

**DuckyFach** : Heyyyyy, why don't I have a Twitter account?


	15. Crash and Burn

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder-Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**Chapter Fifteen -Crash and Burn  
**

**EPOV**

My mind was racing faster than my car, which was a pretty fucking impossible feat. I shouldn't have been behind the wheel. I was angry enough to fucking _destroy. _To demolish and annihilate the same way the events of the past ten minutes of my life had done to me.

Before I could do anything else, I needed to call the one common denominator we all had in this whole clusterfuck. My best friend. Because I swear to God, if he knew about this and never told me, my world really was falling apart.

I dialed his number and turned onto I-95, pushing the gas pedal down as far as it would go. "Come on, Jazz," I growled, impatient and ready to get this conversation over with. He finally answered on the fourth ring, and I couldn't even try to hold back my all-consuming fury.

"Did you fucking know about this, Jasper?" I demanded, punching the gas as I weaved in and out of traffic.

"Did I know about what, Edward? What are you talking about?"

My guts twisted slightly in guilt for unleashing on him. He'd never treat me like this and I knew it, but fuck, I was just so angry…

"Don't play coy with me, Jasper. Did you know that Bella was fucking my dad or what? Don't fuck around!"

He stuttered in what was probably shock and nerves, a long lost speech impediment from his childhood that only resurfaced when shit got tough for him. Guilt continued to pull at me, but anger smacked it all away.

"Bella's doing _what? _No…I didn't know anything about it. Wait…she's _what?"_

"Did _she_ know, Jazz?" My anger turned into a strangled whimper as I dropped my head, barely focusing on the road as my hand shook around the steering wheel. "Was she knowingly pursuing a relationship with father and son? She wouldn't do that, would she? Play us like that?" The rage immediately veiled my briefly-exposed emotions, and I quickly put my angry mask back in place. "Jasper, did she fucking know or not?"

He got caught on his stutter again and I was just the scum of the fucking planet, wasn't I? It didn't matter…I was too far gone. "Spit it out, man."

"N-no, of course not! She wouldn't do that. Edward, are you sure?"

I laughed bitterly, shaking my head from side to side. "You have no fucking idea."

I hastily slammed my phone shut and tossed it forcefully behind me. The _All That Remains_ playlist I'd been listening to blared loudly from my speakers as I turned the volume up. I roared in frustration and increased my speed on the interstate, because safety wasn't a factor to me anymore; the only thing that mattered was finding a suitable fucking outlet for all the rage that was brewing inside me. Driving recklessly and screaming angry music was all that I could do, because everything else hurt too fucking much.

And if I thought…if I thought for one fucking second about my father's hands on my girl, touching her, exploring her…I'd lose my goddamn shit. Calling Jasper and demanding answers drained me of my will to feel anything…and I couldn't think anymore, not about this. There were so many questions I needed answers to, but not now…not yet. I just wasn't capable of handling this level of mindfuck. I had never felt more vulnerable and _broken_ in my entire fucking life, and it made me so incredibly angry.

"Stupid fucking idiot…you knew this would happen! You fucking knew if you opened your heart, it would get ripped to motherfucking shreds! _You fucking knew it!" _I screamed at myself over the blaring music, my hands shaking violently as I rapidly blinked my watering eyes.

I dragged my forearm roughly across my face and punched the steering wheel so viciously I thought it would snap. With a quivering exhale I turned the volume up even louder, until my speakers were rattling excessively. My engine groaned in protest as I pushed it to its limit.

I shut my brain off entirely, taking my aggression out on the car I was driving, and the unforgiving pavement beneath it.

**~xxx~**

**CPOV**

I had never been more thankful for my window treatments. I could have gone with the cheaper option but they let too much light in. For a hundred dollars more I could have the light completely blocked out. It could be as black as midnight in the middle of a bright Miami day, because nothing could infiltrate these shades. With my unpredictable work hours, I knew it would come in handy. I wanted the ability to make it night whenever I had to sleep with the sun consistently shining.

Who would have known that ultimately, I needed the darkness for a much different reason.

My head was pounding, so violently that the throb reached my eyes, my neck, my jaw…

The dark helped me keep out the devastation. Or perhaps it helped me seal it in. Perhaps I needed to block out the sun to keep on drowning myself in my own pain. I refused to do anything but hammer every single detail into my mind over and over again, desperate to make sense of such an unlikely and horrifying situation.

"Bella…"

I groaned her name into the darkness, but not from arousal or need…this groan was of pure anguish. The two most important people in my entire life were hurting through no fault of their own. The two most important people in my entire life had been dating each other for months…

I thought of the way her eyes sparkled when we shared a tender moment and suddenly wondered if she looked at my son with such radiating light. Did he see what I saw, did he feel what I felt every time that beautiful creature walked into the room?

It didn't matter.

I would sacrifice her for Edward, because I'd do anything for my son. He had been so reluctant to find love after all these years; decades of deep-seated pain drilled into him from an indifferent childhood. I thought back to the first time Edward had hinted that maybe he'd found someone worth more than just a one night stand. And how right he was. Bella was undoubtedly worth more.

I couldn't deny the changes that the mystery girl had evoked inside my son. He had a more positive outlook, he was less self-deprecating and just…happier. The woman that brought me back to life had also revived my only child in the process.

What a gift she had given us.

And what a cross we must bear in the end.

I shuddered and robotically lifted the glass of aged scotch to my lips, resting my chin against the top of Taylor's head as she hugged me. I blindly set the glass down onto the table beside my chair, resting a hand on Taylor's back as I wearily lifted my phone. The display screen's sharp light broke through the darkness, causing me to squint in pain as I continued my frivolous pattern.

Edward.

Bella.

Edward.

Bella.

Neither one of them would answer.

My first instinct was to get in my car and do anything and everything to make sure that they were all right, but ultimately I knew that they just needed time. We all did. As much as Taylor's presence was a comfort to me, I felt guilty for having my son's best friend at a time like this. He had run out so quickly that he simply left her here, opting to process his anger and pain on his own once more.

God, I was so worried about him.

And of course...my Bella.

Well, she wasn't _mine_ anymore.

There was no doubt that I knew what I would do. I would hold my head high, breathe in and out, be thankful for the things Bella had given me in our short time together, and be happy that my son had finally found a girl as brilliant as he.

I loved them both so incredibly much, so why shouldn't they be together?

Of course, the man inside me felt the undeniable urge to fight for his woman. Despite who it would hurt and how many lives it would destroy, it was there, clawing at the recesses of my mind. A need so deeply threaded into my core, demanding that I take her as my own because I loved her, because we were amazing together, and because nothing could stand in our way.

But this was my _son. _How could I allow myself to keep Bella as my own when he was so invested in her? Still, my inner voice kept begging the question…

_What if she wants to be with you and not him?_

Deep down, I became alive and alert with a newfound sense of hope.

But overall, I needed to dismiss that line of thinking. It didn't matter…Edward's happiness was the only thing that did.

So in the end, I would do everything in my power to make this awkward and unlikely situation as pain-free as possible. Once the dust had settled, I would explain to them both that all that truly mattered to me was their happiness. And they deserved to find happiness…especially with each other. I would keep it light, I would eliminate the unease to the best of my ability, and I would make sure that neither Edward nor Bella felt an iota of sorrow for what I had lost in the end.

And the only time I'd let myself grieve would be moments like these, alone in a pitch black room, absorbing the pain so freely that it would threaten to swallow me whole.

It would be worth it. Every single second.

I picked up my phone and tried once more.

Edward.

Bella.

Edward.

Bella.

I quickly gave up, closing my eyes to drown under the frantic thoughts that never seemed to relent.

There was no way Bella had any clue that Edward and I were related. As coincidental as it was, her heart was too pure to commit such a heinous act. I replayed her reaction from earlier today over and over in my mind, the look of horror and shock etched into each one of her features as I unsuspectingly walked into the living room. Of course she recognized Taylor…and when I had confirmed just who Taylor belonged to, she felt as if all she could do was run away.

Frankly, as much as I hated the state in which she had left my home, it was better for all of us that she ran. Having Edward walk in and seeing Bella there…God only knows what kind of chaos would have ensued.

I closed my eyes and replayed the memories that stung the most; the night we spoke to each other in hushed tones over the phone…the night where we hung up and brought ourselves to climax with nothing more than thoughts of one another. I winced as I imagined her soft voice telling me why we couldn't meet in person that night and satisfy the need that was bubbling between us.

_"You know I'm not ready to commit so soon after everything that happened with Jacob."_

_"I know," I whispered._

_"I like you so much, Carlisle. But I need you to know that you aren't the only man I'm seeing right now."_

_"Okay," I murmured, my palm pressing against my suddenly constricted chest._

_She chuckled humorlessly. "Look, it's not like I've got a of revolving door in my bedroom, okay? It's just…I don't want to discuss the other party involved; it wouldn't be fair to either one of you. Just like it wouldn't be fair if I were to meet with you tonight."_

She was so conflicted that night, needing me but feeling such a loyalty to this other man. Not wanting to hurt him, unable to decide at that point who she belonged with - me or my son. What a burden she had to bear, even if she had no clue as to how we were connected. My poor, sweet girl.

No, I couldn't think like that any longer.

At the time I had discounted this other man, certain that what Bella and I had couldn't be compared to the relationship she had with him. As much as I wanted Bella for myself, the fact that she had just gotten out of a lengthy and unsatisfying relationship made me sympathetic to her situation. Of course she wouldn't be ready to settle down so soon. I had no problems with her taking time to explore her options, to live a little, and when she was through with that, she could officially be with me.

But Edward was special. He was an amazing man, and because of some cruel twist of fate, she had become intricately intertwined with both of us. Who could justify this? Was there a God capable of finding humor in our despair? Was this someone's form of sick amusement, or were my son and I simply that unfortunate to have fallen in love with the same woman?

But that was the thing…we were anything _but_ unfortunate. My life was infinitely better just by merely _knowing_ Bella. The selfish side of me wanted to say that I would have never given up the time I had spent with her, regardless of how things would ultimately play out. But no matter how much it killed me to admit it, I would have sacrificed every moment of bliss I found with Bella…for the sake of Edward's happiness. When you're a father, your needs become petty. If I had it my way, despite the heartache it caused me, I never would have been a factor in this equation. With never having met Bella, my life would have continued to be empty and bland, but at least Edward wouldn't have had any barriers standing in his way.

And even now, he still wouldn't.

I would step aside. I would be happy for them. I would smile broadly at their wedding and cry when their children were born and I would still be a blessed man. Not everyone needs a lover when they have other joys in their life to sustain them. I would give up everything in this world to see Edward live a full and happy life, even the most beautiful woman I had ever known.

Because that's what a father did for his son.

For so long, Edward had been put on the backburner, an afterthought to the parents who were supposed to love him most.

Not anymore.

With me, he would only ever come first.

I lost myself to a time where nothing was forbidden when it came to Bella and me. The storm around us raging away in the hot Miami night…the unbridled heat of our own storm as I watched her skin glow in soft candlelight. I hadn't felt a need like that in so very long, the need to feel her body moving beneath me, small fingers pulling me down, a soft, aching voice begging me for more. I smiled, thinking of how it started…one innocent game of Trivial Pursuit, and my life would never be the same again. My smile turned into a wince as I realized just how true of a statement that was.

_"Bella," I gasped her name, pulling up from our heated kiss and resting my lips against her ear. "I want you, I want you so badly right now. Please either tell me to stop or tell me to make love to you, I need you to tell me what you want…"_

_She turned to stare deeply into my eyes, our noses resting together as our bodies subtly moved against one another in our need for more. In that moment, I was terrified that she didn't want me in return. I would have been gracious about it of course, but I wanted that woman with every fiber of my being. Finally she spoke her perfect words in an angel's tone. "Carlisle…I want you too…please…"_

_Her confession had made me burn for the beautiful woman in my arms. Something primal set loose inside me and even though I yearned to keep every piece of this intimate moment gentle and real, I couldn't help the way her words raged through my body like a white-hot flame. "Tell me that again," I begged her._

_"I want you." She confirmed it once more, her voice hoarse and her body quivering beneath my fingers as they made slow passes along her skin. It was all I needed to know, that she wanted me. In truth, it was all I ever needed to know. It was everything…_

Hot tears slipped past the sides of my closed eyelids, my chest silently heaving as I surrendered myself to images of a life I would never have. I replayed my most cherished memories because this was my way of saying goodbye to the magnificent woman who made me realize that there was more to this world than dwelling over ghosts of the past. Every gentle thought I had of Isabella Swan hurt me so viciously that I could have sworn a knife was slicing through my flesh, but it was also granting me a farewell so breathtakingly bittersweet that I could barely wrap my mind around it. I needed more.

_"You're cute!" _

_Bella grinned at me lazily through her fog of Benadryl. She was adorable…she had me from that very first moment. Alice continued to apologize for her friend's behavior, but there was simply no need._

_"It's no problem," I assured her, attempting not to laugh at just how endearing it was, and struggling to remain professional. "I'm Dr. Cullen. How are you feeling, Bella?"_

_She looked me up and down, and then again once more, licking her lips as her eyes met mine. "I'm great now."_

_"No more problems breathing?" Such an ironic question, because she was definitely making it hard for me to breathe._

_"Wellll…I dunno, I think I might need mouth-to-mouth."_

I laughed at the memories of our first encounter, tears stinging my eyes as I chuckled in a moment that was painful enough to destroy me. "You were perfect, from the very beginning. I'll never forget the first time I met you."

Perhaps I had reached a breaking point, sitting in my dark living room, speaking to a phantom of the woman that I never really had a right to love. But feeling the pain twist so brutally in my heart made every single moment we had together real. And now, when I was all alone and surrounded by darkness, I was allowed to have that. I closed my eyes and granted myself another vision that was such a blessing to me.

_I remembered the pure euphoria she emitted when we were parasailing, flying high over the gorgeous blue waters. "Are you okay?" I had asked her._

_"I'm better than okay!" she yelled over the breeze, laughing almost maniacally as her eyes continued to scan the horizon. From the excitement in her eyes to the melody of her laughter. I watched her as my heart beat rapidly, not from the heights we were reaching, but from the pure wonder of being up here with her, experiencing this with her._

_My heart nearly stopped when I felt her small fingers intertwine with my own, her eyes fixed on mine as she gazed at me sincerely. "Thank you, Carlisle. This is amazing."_

"Goodbye, sweetheart," I choked, holding Taylor tighter against my chest as I let out a silent sob, surrendering myself to the torment of letting Bella go forever.

I couldn't handle showcasing every memory so intricately any longer, because it was interfering with my ability to maintain control. I wanted to let myself lash out. I wanted to destroy my surroundings and scream in agony and physically show the pain that was surging throughout my body.

But I was Carlisle Cullen. Controlled, calm, loving father, enamored man…

I wanted to bid farewell to our brief love affair with gentle words and slow falling tears rather than my outbursts of scorn and desolation.

_The way her lips felt against mine as we kissed passionately in the rain, her soft declaration in the midst of a torrential downpour. _

"_I've never been treated with so much care, so much respect, in literally my entire life, Carlisle. I can't believe this day turned out the way it did and yet, it was completely natural…as if there was never any doubt that we were going to go parasailing and laugh until we cried in the rain."_

"I was honored…to make you feel so cherished, love."

_The way she looked perched on my desk, legs spread as I stood between them, heat manifesting between our bodies until we were nearly past the point of no return. _

_She let out a breathy moan as I sucked the skin where her neck and shoulder met. My lips swept along her smooth skin until they were resting against her ear. "Tell me about Wednesday night, Bella."_

_She whimpered, and it made me yearn._

_"Tell me that you did exactly what I imagined you doing," I demanded breathlessly. "Tell me that you made yourself come."_

_"Yes," she moaned, pulling me tighter against her eager body._

"Just holding you would have been enough," I groaned, tossing back the last of my scotch and scrubbing my palms over my eyes. "Just feeling you in my arms would have satisfied me for the rest of my days."

_The lazy afternoon that found us spread out along my couch, both of us exhausted from a long day of work._

_"Oh Bella," I murmured, cradling her face gently. "You really don't know, do you?"_

_"Know what?"_

_"How much I care about you. How much you mean to me. And what you do to me…"_

_"I know that…I mean, I care about you too." _

_"Your eyes are so expressive, Bella," I whispered. "I can see you thinking, but I wish I could read your mind. You look very conflicted right now."_

_"Why do you say that?"_

_"Because when you look at me sometimes…you look happy, but not sure if you're supposed to be that happy."_

_"I'm happy when I'm with you," she promised, holding me tightly in her embrace._

"You don't know how much happiness you've brought _me_, sweetheart." Taylor jumped off my lap and I leaned forward, leaning my elbows against my knees as I held my face in my palms. "You just don't know."

_The way her hair twisted artfully in the wind._

_Her grin when she was feeling saucy. Her smile when she teased me._

_Her hand in mine._

_The scent of her skin._

_The depth of her eyes._

"Goodbye, Bella," I murmured, staring hard into the darkness until I dropped to the floor, curling in on myself and struggling to accept a new life where Isabella Swan was nothing more to me than the woman my son had chosen to love.

**~xxx~**

**EPOV**

I finally went home awhile later, sick of the rage and tired of having to maintain enough concentration to operate heavy machinery.

I stared straight ahead as I tossed my keys, hearing them land on the counter with a clunk. I wanted my dog and she wasn't there. Part of me was happy that she was still with Carlisle, because I was pretty fucking positive he needed just as much comfort as I did. Still, only she would understand…and yes it was fucked up because she was a dog but anyone who knew her realized that she was more than that and…

I just wanted my dog.

With mechanical movements, I reached for the bottle of the good shit on top of my refrigerator and hurled myself onto the sofa, staring blankly into space as I tipped the bottle to my lips.

Suddenly, my sense of responsibility to those I cared for kicked in. For however long I had been driving around like an asshole, my pop had been worried and heartbroken. For every second I was out blowing off steam, Bella was freaking out over the unlikely situation she had found herself in.

I groaned, feeling like a total douche for raging on Jasper and thinking, even for a second, that Bella could have possibly known about Carlisle and me. There was no fucking way that beautiful, kind girl would ever knowingly hurt anybody like that.

So we were three fucking victims, left at a standstill, minds completely and utterly fucking boggled.

And hearts broken.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, thankful that I had enough sense to grab it from my backseat before exiting my car. Anger continued to boil through me, but not the same anger from before. Now I was just pissed at myself for being so fucking selfish. Here I was, ranting and raving about what _I_ was going through, when my girl was going through something infinitely worse.

I did try to call her a few times during my road rage session, whether to scream or beg I had no fucking clue. I wasn't in the right mindset to talk to her then anyway, so it was a good thing she never picked up my calls. After trying her a few times, I quickly came to my senses and threw my phone behind me once more. Now though, I felt a little calmer and a lot more hopeless, so I figured it was okay to try again. Still, it went straight to voicemail.

I made a few more attempts and after the last time I heard Bella's voice asking me to leave her a message, I knew that I needed to try. "Bella." My voice croaked and cut out; I cleared my throat and tried again, not having any fucking clue what to say. "I'm just worried about you. This is all fucked up but…we'll figure it out probably, right? Fuck, I don't know, just let me know you're safe, baby. Call me."

My chest hurt, like I was having a fucking heart attack or something, because who fucking knew if we would be capable of working this shit out or not? And now that I had found a little meaning in my life, could I go back to whoring it up and not giving a shit about anything that truly mattered?

Could I exist now, without her?

I knew the more likely answer. Bella would be in my life all right…as my dad's girl. I couldn't blame her, no matter how badly I wished I could. He was my hero…and after all the bullshit he had been put through over the years, he deserved to find a good woman. Lord knows there was no one better than her.

Whatever, it was fun while it lasted.

A million thoughts were flitting through my mind. Should I go find someone to fuck? Should I scour every surface until I found Bella? Should I call my dad? Should I fucking fight for something for once in my life?

Christ, I was so fucking lost.

I texted Carlisle one simple message: _I'm okay, I just need to think. Hang in there, pop._

His reply made my throat constrict so violently, I thought I would choke.

_I love you, Edward._

"Yeah, I love you too," I murmured to no one in particular.

So this was what it felt like to have your heart broken. It was a son-of-a-bitch. I remembered back in the day, before Emmett hooked up with Rose, he was dating this girl named Irina. He was head-over-fucking-heels crazy for that chick. Almost as pussy-whipped as Rosalie had him, and that's saying something.

Out of the blue she dumped his ass, and he was convinced that his life was over. Hell, by the looks of him, I was too. Seeing someone as big and burly as Emmett bawling his eyes out was a sight to behold. It was just further proof to me that love was a cruel mistress that just wasn't worth the time and effort.

But Bella was worth this, wasn't she?

Of course the answer was yes, and I knew deep down that she obviously was, but it was so fucking hard to realize it when this pain splintered through me so viciously. How could anything be worth this?

I sent a text to Jasper, typing slowly as I closed my eyes. _Sorry I was a dick, guess that's what happens when everything falls apart._

He tried to call me but I wouldn't answer. Jasper was like a brother to me, but as much as he would attempt to help me through this, he wouldn't have the first clue. It wasn't his fault, it's just the way it was.

So who could help me?

Who was someone invested in Bella's well-being…someone who could deal with my newly-emo ass?

I thought back to months ago, huddling in the corner of my couch and rambling on about how I may or may not be falling for Bella, and how much of a mindfuck it was because I didn't fall for women of any kind. I fucked them. I made them cum multiple times. But I never broke down the concrete walls I'd built around my heart. And she didn't stand for my bullshit either, which was exactly what I needed.

Alice.

I still had her number in my phone from the last time. Jasper had refused to give it to me, but he let me talk to her on his phone. It was easy enough to pull her contact info off of the screen when we were through talking. I had a feeling that I might need it at some point in the future, and how right I was.

I felt more defeated than ever as I sagged into the couch, waiting for Alice to pick up her phone…or ignore me like she had every right to.

"Hello?" she answered hesitantly.

"Hey Alice…"

"Edward," she sighed, pausing for a long moment. "I'm kind of mad at you for upsetting Jasper earlier, but I also feel really sad for you…and everyone involved. It's all so screwed up."

I shrugged half-heartedly. "It's cool if you want to be mad. I never should have talked to Jazz like that. I had this whole mess of anger and sadness and shit going on, but it still wasn't right." My speech was slurred, like I had been drinking for hours when in actuality I only had one swift pull from my bottle.

"How are you feeling?" she asked quietly.

I scoffed, shaking my head. "Pretty shitty, doll, I'm not gonna lie. Is she…?"

"She's…okay," Alice whispered sadly. "I can't really speak for her, Edward. It's not my place."

"I know," I conceded, running my fingers roughly through my hair and fighting to keep my emotions at bay. "I'm just…worried about her you know? And I don't fucking understand how the hell this happened."

"I know you were upset when you called Jasper earlier, but please tell me you didn't honestly think Bella would have consciously been with the both of you, knowing you were related to one another?"

I groaned, feeling like an even bigger prick. "I wasn't thinking straight. At that point, I didn't know _what _to think."

"Yeah, I can imagine," she murmured. "I wish I knew what to do for her, but I feel so helpless."

I chuckled, finally acknowledging the burning tears that were beginning to build in my eyes. "Well if I know Bella, she'll let you know exactly what she needs once she figures it out."

"Oh, Edward…"

Apparently my tears were more obvious to Alice over the phone than they were to me. "She's not there? She doesn't want to talk to me, or let me down gently or anything?" I choked back a sob and shook my head from side to side swiftly, trying to make it stop. I fucking hated crying, I hated feeling so goddamn weak.

"She's not ignoring you, Edward, I promise. She's cut off communication with everyone until she can give herself time to process this whole thing. I can't tell you where she is, I won't betray her trust like that, but don't feel like it's just you she's not contacting. She needs time away from everyone until she can figure things out."

I struggled to catch my breath over the sob that was lodged in my throat, frantically wiping at my eyes to make the evidence of my vulnerability disappear. This type of shit didn't happen to the guys who strictly fucked around and never committed. Goddamnit…

"Yeah, it's funny, you know. I usually want to be left alone when shit blows up, but right now, I've never _felt_ more alone…and that kinda makes everything worse." I chuckled dryly, sniffing once and tossing my forearm over my eyes.

"I know it feels that way right now," Alice soothed, "but I happen to know for a fact that there are so many people that love you. Jasper, Emmett…your dad…any one of them would do anything for you, Edward."

I nodded, giving her no further reply.

"Should I call Jasper and have him come over?" she pressed.

I shook my head. "Nah, for as much as I'm feeling alone, I have a real knack for keeping the ones I love at arm's length. Maybe I wouldn't have to give up Bella if I would've learned how to overcome the need to push people away."

"Edward…"

"I mean, somewhere inside me I'm happy for them. My pop is amazing and Bella is the most breathtaking girl I've ever met. They'll be really happy together, I think. Don't you think they'll be happy together, Alice?"

My shoulders began to shake and I was breaking down, farther than I ever had before. Farther than I had ever wanted to be broken.

"Stop it right now, Edward. Things are too up in the air for you to be talking like that. The cold hard truth is that none of us knows how this will end. For now, all you can do is hold on for dear life, and try your hardest not to let this break you." She paused, sighing forlornly before she continued. "Edward, you're a strong man. Hell, you're the cocky asshole who thought I'd swoon and throw my panties at you with one flash of your crooked smile."

"You swooned a little," I murmured, thinking back to the first night I had encountered Bella and Alice in that overheated club.

"Yeah, whatever, Romeo." I could practically hear her rolling her eyes, but luckily there was amusement in her tone. "Look, all I'm saying is that you need to take a deep breath, give yourself time to process this, and remember what's most important…your well-being, and the well-being of the ones you love. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but I'm positive that somehow this will all work out."

I sighed loudly. "How is it that you always seem to be the one talking me down off the ledge?"

"Just lucky, I suppose."

Silence occupied the line.

"Thanks for listening to me spaz out, little elven princess."

"_You _aren't allowed to call me that, playboy," she teased.

"My apologies, ma'am." I managed half a smile, which was more than I expected.

"You sure you don't want me to call Jasper?" she asked once more.

"Nah…no one needs to be subjected to this level of depression. Trust me."

I could tell Alice didn't like that response, but there wasn't much she could do about it. "Fine, just…take care of yourself. And rely on your friends, Edward, that's what they're there for."

I got off the phone with her and tried to calm my rampant mind. Bella was dealing, and she was safe. With that knowledge, I allowed myself to drift restlessly to sleep.

I awoke some time later to a cold nose against my cheek. I warily opened my eyes to see the deep brown eyes of my pup, gazing at me in concern. "Hey Tay-Tay," I murmured groggily, throwing an arm around her until she was on the couch, lying next to me. Considering my baby girl was there, I assumed that Carlisle was as well.

"Pop?" I murmured hesitantly.

"No, Edward, it's me."

I had never been more thankful to hear Jasper's voice. It wasn't that I particularly wanted to avoid my dad, it was just that seeing him would make everything that much more real, and I wasn't quite ready for that yet.

"Hey man," I mumbled, wiping the sleep from my eyes and sitting up, hugging my dog to my chest. "Have a seat."

He sat down without a word, looking at me over his glasses with apprehension. "I'm sorry this happened, Edward. The odds of this taking place are just…astronomically slim. I've even calculated it for you, but I'm sure that's not what you want to hear at this juncture."

I chuckled, comforted by Jasper being…Jasper. "It's cool, Jazz. Thanks for bringing Tay back. Did Alice send you?"

He shook his head, pushing his glasses up the brim of his nose. "A-actually, Carlisle called. He said that you needed Taylor, and asked that I get her back to you. He's very worried about you."

"Yeah I'm sure he is," I murmured, scratching Taylor's head absently. "How did he look?"

"Much the same as you do, I'm afraid," Jasper confessed sadly.

"Well that makes sense, I suppose…"

"Do you want to discuss things, Edward?"

I shook my head immediately. "Not at all, Jazz. Not yet, anyway. I just wish that for a little while, it could all go away."

Jasper reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell. "I deduce that it will make you feel infinitely better if we order pizza and watch old episodes of _Big Bang Theory_ for the rest of the evening. What do you think?"

I smiled faintly, nodding my head at my best friend. "Sounds like a plan, Jazz."

After he ordered the pizza and put in the first season of _BBT_ into the DVD player, I hooked my arm around his neck, pulling him in for a noogie. "Y-you're messing up my hair!" he groaned with laughter.

"Dude, it was already messy, and you're starting to sound like a chick."

He smiled widely, adjusting his glasses. "I-I'm no _chick_, as you so chivalrously put it."

My mouth turned into a frown and I studied my best friend for a long moment. I didn't like the fact that he was still stuttering hours later. He hated it, and I was pissed at myself for being the one to cause it to happen. "Hey, I'm so fucking sorry for freaking out on you today, Jazz. Seriously, you didn't deserve it."

He shook his head, not meeting my eyes. "You were upset, it was a perfectly l-l-logical reaction."

"Yeah, but I've obviously upset you. I know it bugs you when you stutter, man, and I feel like a total shit-heel. I'm really sorry, Jasper."

In an uncharacteristic movement, Jasper threw his arm around my neck and pulled me in for a man-hug. "Instead of feeling guilty for upsetting me, perhaps you should realize that my speech impediment is flaring up because I am incredibly concerned about my best friend. It's not y-your angry words that upset me, Edward, it's the fact that you're stuck in a highly tumultuous situation, and there is nothing I can do to help you through it."

I shook my head, annoyed at the burning in my eyes but unable to tear my steady gaze away from him. "Just you being here, Jazz…you're helping me in more ways than I can ever begin to tell you."

With a few pats on the back, our emo-moment quickly passed, focusing instead on the mind-numbing comedy playing on my flat screen.

I was still broken, lost, confused, and aching for the girl I could never have again.

But for the moment, with Jasper prattling on about his latest dissertation, and Taylor resting soundly on my lap…I was able to just _breathe._

And forget about the pain for a little while.

**~xxx~**

**APOV**

I really should have seen this coming. Not the father-and-son thing, there was no way anyone could have seen _that_ coming, but I should have known that an inevitable crash-and-burn was on the horizon.

Maybe if I hadn't been so wrapped up and crazy in love with Jasper, I would have been a better best friend. Maybe I could have slapped some sense into Bella, the way we always did for each other when the situation called for it. That's what best friends were for.

Bella wasn't made for dating around. Her loyalty and absolute love for her family and friends were two of her best traits, something that made her such a wonderful person. Even after Jackass screwed her over so badly, she hadn't closed in on herself and refused to let anyone else in. The problem was, she'd let one person too many in. And when it came to _that_ kind of love, Bella gave herself wholly and without reservation.

I'd been so proud of her for picking herself up, driving clear across the country, and starting a whole new life here in Miami. I'd urged her to date around, hell, that one-night-stand with Edward had been exactly what she needed. By the time Carlisle arrived on the scene and Edward came back into the picture, I was too absorbed in Jasper to warn her, to tell her to slow down. I'd been too busy to realize she hadn't been _dating_ the two of them, she'd gotten herself into a _relationship_ with both of them.

I curled up into a tighter ball on the couch, wishing like hell there was something I could do to help fix the whole fucked-up mess. Bella had called me hours earlier, telling me that she was at a hotel in Fort Lauderdale, and that she'd be home tomorrow. I tried to tell her about my conversation with Edward, but she wasn't ready to hear it, and she hung up on me. At least she'd be back tomorrow. She'd promised me that, and never once had my best friend broken a promise to me.

How did all this happen? What were the odds that Carlisle and Edward's relationship could have remained undiscovered for so long, especially since Jasper _knew_ Carlisle? Memories knocked at my mind…Bella asking me not to discuss her and Carlisle's relationship with Jasper, since he was Edward's best friend. And of course Jasper hadn't been there when Bella and I first met him, since he'd stayed out in the waiting room of the hospital.

Jasper. My fingers itched to dial his number, to beg him to come over and let me bawl on his shoulder until I was all cried out. But I wanted to be here by myself, just in case Bella changed her mind and came home early. I owed her that, at least.

The memory of my boyfriend's face when he'd finally put it all together, before Edward hung up on him, the stutter I'd never heard before…it was killing me. In answer to my frantic questions about what the hell Carlisle had to do with Edward, and finally telling him _yes_ she'd been dating more than one guy, his stuttered words: _Alice, C-carlisle is Edward's d-dad…_ I had no words for the horror I felt when their meaning finally came together in my mind.

I was afraid Jasper would assume the worst of Bella, actually believe that she _knew_ about Carlisle and Edward being related, but of course he didn't. He'd been as stunned and disbelieving as me. No one who knew Bella could even for a second think she'd do something like this knowingly. So he'd been the one who found my car keys as I was frantically running around his apartment, desperate to leave and track Bella down. Jasper knew it wasn't Bella's fault.

A quiet knock at the front door snapped me out of my reverie, and in a split second I'd bounded over to the door and yanked it open without even peering through the peephole. A man stood there, leaning against the doorjamb with his face pressed into his forearm. As the light from the front hall illuminated his figure, he slowly turned his eyes to me.

This Carlisle Cullen was a far cry from the confident, handsome doctor I'd met in Mercy's emergency room. He and Bella had created their own little world and so I hadn't seen him again since, but I recognized him instantly, although he looked radically different now.

The blue eyes that met mine were bloodshot and tired, his mouth was turned down, and fatigue was written in every line of his body. He literally looked as though his entire world had just come to an end.

"She's not here," I whispered, and his eyes clenched tightly shut.

"Is she…is…" He took a deep breath and straightened up slowly. "Alice, I'm not here to interrogate you for answers. I'll stop calling her phone, and I won't push to see her. I need...I just need you to tell me that she's okay. Tell me that wherever she is, she's all right...and I'll go. Please just tell me…"

His eyes met mine again and I almost wanted to cry at the heartbreak in them. There was no doubt in my mind that this man had loved…still _did_ love…my best friend. The anguish in his expression told me more than even his words could.

"Yes, she's okay." I licked my lips, wanting to tell him more, but my loyalty was to Bella, and I wasn't going to meddle or try to fix anything…she wanted to do that herself. "She wanted me to tell you that she didn't know. She didn't, Carlisle, she truly had no idea."

"I know," he replied quietly. "I never doubted that, for a second."

"She'll be back tomorrow. She just…needed some space and time."

Carlisle abruptly scrubbed his hand across his eyes and then nodded. "I understand. Thank you, Alice. Thank you for taking care of her."

He turned away then, and the droop in his shoulders as he walked slowly to a black BMW in the driveway told me that he was hurting just as badly as his son, if not more so. Edward had had anger fueling him at some point, Carlisle just looked…devastated. And resigned.

I shut the door and curled back up on the living room sofa. I tried calling Bella's phone one more time before bed, but it went straight to her voicemail, and I gave up. I'd just have to wait until tomorrow…we all would.

**~xxx~**

**A/N:**

**Kate taps chin thoughtfully** Y'know, twin, with all this heartbreak and self-sacrifice and gut-wrenching pain, methinks our boys are forgetting something...

**Brits**: That they can come to us for love and support and beej's?

**Kate:** Well, yes, that too. But how about this...although they're both willing to give Bella up, neither of them seem to be considering what SHE wants! Shouldn't SHE have a say in this? And shouldn't we maybe find out what her choice is...and soon?

**Brits**: Well yeah! Oh boys, you are so silly. Bella is a big girl and makes her own decisions. Gosh, I sure do wish I knew what exactly that decision was **whistles innocently**

**Kate: **I know! Well, since we can't divulge that in _this_ chapter, let's talk about something else. Okay, so some of you may have noticed (or you probably haven't, since that's the point) that mah twin and I really don't do the whole self-pimp thing (outside of our outrageously obnoxious A/N's). We figure that if you, the readers, enjoy our work, you'll rec it to others, and that's the greatest compliment/pimpage we can ask for!

**Brits**: Exactly! And we appreciate everything you've done to make our story more well-known throughout the fandom! But if you're interesting in showing us your support even further, there's one other simple thing you can do…

**Kate:** We recently found out that HOLY SHIZBALLS, _Dirty Little Secrets_ was nominated for a Golden Lemon Award, in the "Lemon with the Pairing That Made Your Jaw Drop" category! To say it made us SQUEE with joy is an understatement...through this whole story/journey/epic quest, one of the things that has made us the happiest is when people say "I never liked BxC but..." or "Holy crap, you've converted me to Team Carlisle!" or "I'm still Team Edward all the way, but your Carlisle is HAWT!" Thinking outside the whole CANON-PAIRINGS-OR-ELSE mindset has been a big part of DLS, and we're unbelievably honored that enough people evidently nominated us to show up in the final round of voting for this category! Even if you're still hardcore-rooting for the ExB HEA, please consider skipping over to the GLAs and perusing ALL the awesome nominations, k? www(DOT)goldenlemonawards(DOT)com

**Brits**: Please and thank you! Our Carlisle rubber duckies promise to join each one of you for lengthy bubble baths if you do...just sayin...

**Kate:** Awww damn, now I have to sew them Speedos too?

**DuckyFach:** SQUEAK-YEAH!

**Brits**: So send us a review, give us a vote in the Golden Lemons! We love you all! Follow us on Twitter if you want to bond! (lazykatevamp and brits23)

**Kate:** And for those of you who ran through a box of tissues during this chap and are cursing our names now...have faith. That's all I'm sayin'.

**Brits**: We're eager to hear your thoughts! Until next time!


	16. Coming Back To You

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder-Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**Chapter Sixteen - Coming Back To You**

**BPOV**

If there was one bad habit I could proudly claim I'd never had, it was procrastination.

All the way through school, even through college, I'd made it my regular routine to finish Monday's homework Saturday morning, so that I was free to enjoy the weekend. I always paid my bills on time, regularly checked off items on my to-do list, and didn't back down from tasks I dreaded. To the contrary, I liked getting things over with.

Monday afternoon, though, I was looking for any excuse whatsoever to get out of what I'd promised myself I'd do.

The drive back from Fort Lauderdale had been uneventful, but I'd lingered in the hotel room until the front desk called at eleven to ask if I was checking out. I drove just under the speed limit back to Miami, incurring the wrath of the other drivers, and then detoured to South Beach, to Alice's office. She'd flung her arms around me, scolded me for scaring the shit out of her, and then burst into tears.

That of course led to a long lunch, and after Alice went back to work, I sat in my car and wondered if I could get away with thoughtful meditation while strolling up and down the beach.

No.

This wasn't even comparable to slowly pulling off a Band-Aid. Not even close. Doing it fast and sudden would hurt a million times more than all the explaining and apologies I had in front of me, with both men. But I had to do it. Putting it off would only make everything worse…but I didn't know where to start.

In the end, I just went with my gut feeling. I knew with almost absolute certainty that Carlisle would have gone to work today, despite what had happened yesterday, so it was a safe guess that he would be there when I went to see him. Edward on the other hand…

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. Edward was the complete antithesis to Carlisle's reliable personality. He was impulsive, with no obligations to anyone aside from his dog, and for all I knew he could have left Taylor at Carlisle's house and hopped a jet to be halfway across the country by now. There wasn't an easy way to find out, but I could take the first step in that direction.

Sitting in a baking parking lot there in South Beach, I called Directory Assistance and was finally connected with the Humane Society. All the scraps of bravery I'd managed to dredge up crumbled when the perky female voice on the other end of the line informed me that Dr. Masen had called in sick.

The moment my finger hit the button to disconnect that call, I started scrolling through my contacts, found Edward's name, and hit the Send button. I didn't want our first conversation to be over the phone, but I couldn't exactly chase him all over Miami either.

His phone rang…and rang…until finally his voicemail answered, and I hung up. It hadn't gone straight to voicemail, so it wasn't turned off; either he was avoiding my calls or he was too busy to pick up…despite not being at work.

Procrastination reared its ugly head again, and for a moment I was tempted to go to Carlisle first. The easier route, the one that definitely wouldn't include angry outbursts or accusations. I didn't know for certain that Edward would react that way, but I was almost certain that Carlisle wouldn't.

In the end, though, I knew who I had to apologize to first. Carlisle and I had had this discussion before, it seemed, even if neither of us were aware of it at the time. It was Edward I needed to face first, and it was the Band-Aid that would hurt the most.

Half in a daze, I steered through the remarkably-light downtown traffic to the Wind Tower, parked, and rode the quiet whoosh of the elevators to Edward's floor. I had absolutely no idea why I was so sure he was there, hiding in his apartment, but I knew one thing for sure: I'd bang on his door until I was sure he wasn't there, or until he told me to leave.

Memories flew at me fast and unrelenting as the elevator doors opened: my first visit here and what had followed. My second visit here, and what hadn't. Now I was on my third, and I was fairly sure there wouldn't be a fourth.

As before, there was no click of a lock or the squeak of hinges to warn me before Edward's creepy neighbor stepped out, almost as though he'd sensed me coming. He looked just as I remembered him, except this time his lecherous leer was immediately replaced by a sneer when he saw me. He made no attempt to stop me, but as I walked by, jaw clenched, I heard his quiet hiss behind me.

"Slut."

Any time before today, I would have turned around and made good on my previous threat to rip out his hairplugs and his balls. I might have figuratively torn him a new asshole and made sure he never looked in my direction, let alone spoke to me, ever again. But that single word, combined with the exact opinion I had of myself at the moment…all things considered, I couldn't say that he was wrong.

I guess that established how I felt about myself…now it was time to find out if Edward, and then Carlisle, thought so too.

I raised my hand, curled it into a weak fist, and knocked on Edward's door.

**-x-x-x-**

**EPOV**

I hadn't pulled an all-nighter since college finals week, and whether it was from the completely unrelated circumstances or my increasing age, it definitely wasn't what I remembered it to be.

The previous night, Jasper stayed with me for a few hours and through several episodes of _Big Bang Theory _that I just couldn't bring myself to laugh at. After a slice and a half of pizza I thought I was going to blow chunks, so I quickly abandoned my dinner as well. No food, no sense of humor, and no Bella…what a bunch of bullshit.

After Jazz took off for the night I retreated to my room, pulling my dog to my chest and watching infomercials like the fucking zombie I had been reduced to. The only thing I gained from it was a migraine from hell and the extensive knowledge of how to use a Slap-Chop.

When I couldn't take anymore of the incessant rambling coming from the TV, I muted it, and then resorted to staring up at the ceiling while my dog tried to comfort me with her doggy-hugs.

Apparently I had inherited some of my pop's empathy, because while I wanted to be selfish about _my _pain and suffering, I just couldn't get either one of them out of my thoughts. Not together, mind you, because my head would have very quickly fucking exploded if I even _briefly _imagined _that. _But mainly I hoped that Carlisle was somehow finding a way to cope with this clusterfuck, and not resorting to the broken man that Esme had created all those years ago.

And Bella…well wherever she was, I prayed she wasn't beating herself up about this. Most of my anger and irrationality had been unleashed yesterday after the truth had initially come out. Hours of mind-numbing television and a quiet apartment had provided a perfect backdrop for mulling over the situation obsessively.

There was no way I could blame Bella, or my pop, for the events that led up to yesterday's blowout. But with that realization came a burning need to know _everything, _right the fuck now. How did she meet him? Did she know him before me? How the hell did she never put two and two together? And what the fuck was going to happen now that everything was out in the open?

I watched through tired eyes as the sun began to come up, searching my nightstand blindly until I found my phone. With the Esme bullshit and now this, I had been missing more work than I would have liked to. That was just another upside to being a technical volunteer. It wasn't like they could fire me. I knew my pop would be trudging to his office today, regardless of how shitty he was feeling; unfortunately, that just wasn't me. I was depressed, sleep-deprived and broken…my ass was staying home, end of story.

After I got off the phone with the office, I took Taylor out on her balcony to do her business. I watched the awakening city below me, the cool breeze hitting my face as I observed the people of Miami begin a day that was like any other to them. It was nearly impossible to comprehend that fact when every single fucking thing surrounding me looked and felt completely different now.

Despite my calm exterior I could still feel the anger and confusion bubbling beneath the surface, only this time it was directed at the situation itself and not anyone in particular. Round two of the rage-fest was imminent, but at least this time I wouldn't be hurting anyone while it spouted out of me. Jasper had seemed to forgive me for lashing out on him, but I sure as hell wasn't even close. I hated myself for taking my frustration out on Jasper, for thinking the worst of Bella, and for resenting my father, the greatest man I had ever known.

"Can you die from the monogamies, Tay-Tay?" I murmured absently, resting my forehead against the railing of the balcony. With a sigh I stood and walked back into my loft, hearing my dog trailing softly behind me all the way.

At least she'd never leave me.

I spent the remainder of the morning trying to convince myself that Bella and Carlisle as a couple was inevitably going to happen. No man stood a chance against my pop, not even me. I reluctantly closed my eyes and imagined what it would be like at holidays and birthdays, seeing them hand in hand, searching my soul to find a way to be a big enough man to accept them.

I didn't know if I had it in me.

A cowardly little voice in the back of my head suggested that I take the Esme way out of this shit by jumping on the next plane and never looking back. To take my money and whore it up with the elite on some tropical, remote island. That option sounded pretty fucking excellent on paper, but I had prided myself on this life I had created, working every day and not relying on my bank account to bring me happiness. Meeting Bella and letting myself feel so strongly for her only further proved to me that I could never give up the life I had built in Miami.

The absolute worst part was, after I'd left Bella's house Saturday morning, I knew for a fact that I was in love with her. Hell, I'd been in love with her since the fucking get-go, but my stupid ass was just too blind to see it…or maybe I wasn't man enough to admit it then. Friday night when she had held me in her arms, comforted me when I was lost in the mindfuck that was Esme Platt-Masen, I had never felt more connected to another human being in my entire life.

I left her front stoop that morning with the taste of her mouth lingering on my own and a truth so fucking powerful, it nearly disabled me. All the man-whoring and self-preservation up until that point was just my way of skating through life until I found her. She was _mine, _we fucking belonged to each other. We fought and we joked around and we didn't always see eye to eye, but that was what made us so fucking perfect for each other. I had finally realized that I wanted - fuck that - I _needed _to live my life with her by my side, arguing and playing and just fucking _loving…_together_._

But the real kick-to-the-taint was the moment I let myself acknowledge the truth I had been denying all along…before it was swiftly taken away from me. I was so fucking positive, even though she'd eventually come to me and explain why she loved my pop more than me, that what we had was the real deal.

I guess now I'd never know.

Somehow I conjured up the will to drag my sorry ass into the shower, cleaning myself quickly before climbing out and searching for some clothes. I settled on a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt, not even giving my hair another thought as it began drying in every-which-way.

I finally face-planted into the couch, sighing deeply and trying to decide whether or not I was ready to call my pop. I decided to wait until he got home from work before I called, or better yet, showed up on his doorstep. I knew this was something we'd have to discuss face to face, but the pussy in me really wanted to just cop out with a phone call. My phone beeped once from the coffee table and I picked it up, the screen indicating that I had one missed call.

It was Bella.

My heart began racing so fast that I had to clasp my chest, fear and panic rising up so violently inside me that I thought I would fucking choke on it. Even though I was preparing myself for the ultimate 'it's not you, its me' speech, it didn't mean I was ready for it. How could I look her in the eyes and know she was dumping me for a better man…my father, no less?

"God damn mother fucking son of a bitch!" I growled loudly, kicking my coffee table until it fell onto its side with a clunk, the objects on top of it toppling noisily to the floor.

My anger was back, or maybe it was just my heartache in sheep's clothing, because my God, it hurt _so fucking bad_. I knew it was coming, but Christ, I didn't know it would be _now_, the next fucking day…

I ran my fingers through my jacked-up hair and cursed beneath my breath, standing to pick up the table and it's contents from the floor. Maybe I'd get on that fucking plane after all.

She didn't leave a message and I couldn't bring myself to call her back just yet, so instead I tried with all my fucking might to get a hold of myself.

I was a grown-ass man and yet I was letting this girl completely and utterly destroy me.

But she wasn't just any girl, was she? She was _the _girl, and I would soon be facing the moment where I'd have to surrender her forever. How would I ever recover from this?

I began pacing my living room restlessly, not knowing what the fuck to do and resenting the twisting pain in my gut as I thought about Bella and what her phone call would ultimately mean for us. Not knowing was absolutely killing me, but in that same token I was too terrified to face her when I was pretty fucking positive she'd be ripping my heart out and stomping the shit out of it.

I knew that wasn't fair. I wasn't the only one going through complete and utter heart fail, and the truth of the matter was that Bella had to muster up a lot of courage to just call me like that. This whole thing had to have been tearing her apart, even more so if she was actually blaming herself, which I hoped like hell she wasn't. Seriously, who the fuck could have seen this coming?

After a lot of soul-searching, I finally decided to step up and return her phone call. Our conversation would be happening regardless of the timing, so why not get it over with? The sooner she confessed the words that would break me, the sooner I could figure out a way to survive this shit.

I was numb and my hands were shaking as I reached for my phone, my mouth suddenly so dry I could barely swallow as I began to dial her number.

And then there was a knock at the door.

My bravery flew out the fucking window.

I knew without a doubt that it was her. It could have easily been Jasper, Emmett, or even my pop. But as I stared at that door so hard my eyes burned, I knew it was the girl I had a slumber party with on my bedroom floor. It was the girl who called me out on my bullshit and laughed at me when I called my dick a manaconda and held onto me so fucking tightly while everything in my life was falling apart. It was the girl I loved with my entire fucking heart…and she was here to shatter mine.

Even then, as I walked to the door and accepted that everything was ending, all I could think about was how fucking amazing it was that I could admit my love for her. Now that I knew how I felt, loving Bella Swan was the easiest, purest thing I had ever done. I smiled even as my emotions threatened to break me down, because even though this was going to hurt like a motherfucker, it still didn't change the fact that, in the end, Bella was going to be _happy._

I had to take solace in that fact.

I had a hard time releasing the deadbolt, my hands clammy and shaking as I fought to get the door open. With a deep breath I turned the door knob, but I was nowhere near prepared for the sight that was waiting for me on the other side. I immediately felt like such a fucking prick. Here I was internally going on about my heartache, when Bella was standing before me looking indescribably crushed. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she seemed so frail that it looked like the slightest breeze could knock her over.

The dark brown of her eyes were surrounded by red as they briefly met mine and darted away. "Hi, Edward," she murmured brokenly.

I swallowed thickly, her pain slowly infiltrating every inch of my body and becoming my own. Seeing her hurting like this only exacerbated the misery of this moment. I wanted to pull her into my arms but knew that it would only further complicate what she had come here to do. Instead I held the door wide open and quietly invited her in.

Taylor immediately came up to her as I shut the door behind us, jumping up and licking her cheek as Bella bent down to pet her. Taylor was insistent on showing Bella affection, not getting down until I verbally told her to go to her room. She pushed her head against my shin lovingly before leaving Bella and I alone in the thick silence of the room.

"Sit down," I croaked, gesturing in the direction of the couch as I began walking toward the kitchen. I didn't even bother asking her if she wanted anything to drink, just grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge and handed one to her, taking a seat in the recliner next to the couch.

We were both silent for a long time, not knowing what to say or how to begin this conversation. Finally I spoke…and instantly regretted it. "How's my dad?"

I winced as soon as the words were out of my mouth, knowing they sounded harsh and totally not the way in which I intended them. Bella flinched as if I'd wounded her, her hands shaking as she began wringing them nervously. "I…I uh, don't know. I haven't talked to him since…" she trailed off, not able to put what had happened yesterday into words.

"Okay." I nodded my head, squeezing my water bottle so tight I thought it would burst in my hands. "How are you, then?"

She shook her head, tears welling up rapidly in her eyes. "I'm…so sorry Edward. I'm so, so sorry. I had no idea, you have to believe me, I had no idea that you and Carlisle were father and son! The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you." She was sobbing now, so brutally that she could barely breathe.

In an instant I stood from my chair and sat next to her on the couch, careful not to touch her as I retrieved her water from the coffee table and removed the cover. "Hey…" I soothed, fighting every instinct I had to take her in my arms. "Take a drink, just breathe." I waited until she caught her breath and took several gulps before I continued. "You need to stop apologizing for something that was out of your control. You never would have knowingly dated both of us, Bella. You're just not that type of person, and I know that. Even when I was freaking out and let myself briefly entertain the idea…I never believed it for a second, not really."

"I'm sorry I just showed up like this," she whispered, staring at her lap as she trembled beside me. "I just…it was important that I talk to you before him…before…Carlisle. I don't deserve forgiveness from either one of you, and I'm not asking for it, but I just had to tell you how sorry I am for doing this to you."

"Why did you want to talk to me before him?" I questioned softly, staring at the floor beneath me.

"Does it matter?"

I didn't have an answer for her. Instead I let the silence wash over us once more. I'd remained more calm than I ever expected, but I felt everything rising to the surface, and I needed to just fucking vent. Without making eye contact I took her trembling hand with my own, linking our fingers and squeezing as I pushed my other palm against my forehead. "I'm not mad at you, Bella. I don't blame you, I don't resent you, and I sure as hell don't want your apologies when you have _nothing_ to be sorry for. Seeing you this upset is fucking killing me, but I've got so much to say and nowhere to go with it. I don't want to hurt you even further, but there are questions I need answers to before I can even start to process what's happened to us, okay?"

I glanced at her out of the corner of my eyes and saw her nod, her hand squeezing mine so tightly that my fingers began to ache from her force. "Please, baby…shit, I'm sorry. Bella, can you just, maybe start from the beginning? Help me understand."

I suppressed my need to spew out every word that was on the tip of my tongue as I sat back and listened to her tell me how we had gotten from there to here.

She recounted our one night stand, how much she needed me that night, and the freedom I gave her by offering her exactly what she needed at that point in her life. Even though she continued to think about me after we parted ways, she reasoned with herself that our encounter had been a one time thing, and soon moved on from it, or so she thought. Soon after, Alice bought a cake that caused her to have an allergic reaction, and there entered my pop when she'd been taken to the ER. Afterward, what started out as a business meeting over his practice's website quickly turned into a date.

She faltered in her explanation when Carlisle was brought up, and I quickly encouraged her to continue.

She told me that not very long after she'd begun casually dating…_him_…she had run into me at the park, and even though I was acting like a cocky asshole, she couldn't deny the fact that she'd still thought about me from time to time. She agreed to see me again, and after our amazing date, she soon found herself in the predicament that would ultimately lead us to total destruction.

We were all innocent pawns in a game that was doomed from the fucking start.

When I didn't speak for the longest time, panic and fear seemed to quickly overtake Bella as she began speaking brokenly between her tears. "Edward, I'm so sorry that this happened, but I'll never regret meeting you, or coming to know you the way I do. You're so important to me, and even though you have every right to hate me right now, just know that I'll always cherish the time we've spent together."

I couldn't speak, my knee bobbing frantically as I processed her words and tried to figure out what the hell I would say now that everything was out in the open.

Bella sniffed and wiped at her eyes, releasing my hand. "I'll go now…I'm so sorry, Edward."

She began to stand and I held my hand out to stop her, gripping my hair tightly in the other. "Just stop, Bella. Just…stop."

I sighed heavily, standing from the couch and pacing in front of her as I struggled to organize my thoughts. And then I just let them go.

"This is all such bullshit, you know? I mean, do you have any idea how significantly you've changed me? I don't even understand why you gave me the time of day to begin with, Bella, because I was such a fucking douche when we first met. I'm not saying I'm not a douche anymore, but I know that I'm _better, _and I know that's because of you. And then because of some ridiculous cosmic fuck-up, you end up dating my fucking dad at the same time as me. My pop, my best fucking friend…and the real kicker is, I don't give a shit about what it's doing to me. All I've been able to think about is what you're going through and how you're handling it. Because you're all I ever think about. I mean, I can't even remember my life before you, except for the fact that it was empty and definitely not as glamorous as I made it out to be. I went from hiding my emotions from everyone to realizing that I am completely and irrevocably in love with you, Bella. I'm so fucking in love with you it's hard for me to breathe sometimes, and now I have to come to terms with you and my pop being together? How can I do that? Don't get me wrong, I'm going to find a way to fucking do it, because even though this is killing me, just knowing that he'll make you happy is enough of a reason for me to endure it. It's like…my happiness depends on yours, whether I'm with you or not. Fuck, I get it Bella…he'll be so good for you, trust me, I get that, but I was so fucking positive that you were it for me…"

I took a deep breath, not able to look at her as I confessed what was left of my soul. I was positive that I came off like some kind of bumbling fucking idiot, but I had so much shit to say, and all of it was impatient to leave my mouth.

"Edward…"

I held my hand up before dragging it through my hair, beginning to pace the length of the room once more. Unfortunately for her, I wasn't even close to being done.

"Just let me finish, Bella. What I'm trying to say is, it's gonna take me a long time to get used to the idea of you and Carlisle. I'm sure I'll have a breakdown or ten before I can reach a point where I'll be happy for you two. It's not much, but it's all I can offer for now. I'm trying to think positively, you know? Like, I should be really thankful that even though we're not ending up together, my pop will treat you like the goddess you are. I am incredibly thankful for that, Bella, even though it's probably hard to believe. The last thing I want is for you to get saddled with another pickle-dick motherfucker who doesn't know how to treat you right. Everything's just so fucked up right now and I'm trying to be all noble and stand-up about this shit, but its really fucking hard. And I'm sorry it has to be this way, but until I can think about you and Carlisle together and _not_ go homicidal, I'm gonna need my space from you both. Please tell me you understand that…"

I finally chanced a look at Bella, her mouth hanging open and her eyes crunched up in absolute confusion. Tears still lingered there, but they weren't falling down her cheeks, so at least that was something. "Edward, that was a lot of information to absorb in a very short amount of time, but…hang on, you _want_ me to be with Carlisle?"

I scoffed, taking a few steps closer to her. "Of course I don't! Bella, I want to lock that fucking door and keep you in here with me forever! And yeah that's intense and fucked up and probably illegal in several states but Christ, I don't want you with anyone but me! My point is that, if being with Carlisle is what makes you happy, then I'm not going to stand in the way of that."

She stood from the couch and walked toward me until we were nearly chest to chest, her trembling hand reaching out to cup my cheek. "You need to let me talk now, okay?"

I swallowed thickly and nodded, leaning into her touch as my eyes drifted closed. She waited before I opened them again to continue. "Moving to Miami was the best decision I've ever made. I've found a home here, and I've met the most amazing people. Being with you the first night we met…it was exactly what I needed. _You_ were exactly what I needed, Edward. And Carlisle…he was the calm in my life when everything else was totally chaotic. You both saved me in very different ways, and I don't know how I can repay either one of you for that. And as much as it means to me that you're standing here in front of me, telling me you'll accept me being with your _father,_ you need to realize that you can't just assume what I want. You can't decide what I feel, Edward, that's not up to you."

"I wasn't trying to do that Bella…"

She shook her head, silently asking me to let her finish, letting her hand fall from my face to my chest…over the heart that was so fragile beneath her fingers. "I started dating both of you because you offered me so much in two very separate ways; it was the most selfish thing I've ever done. And you don't need me to explain to you how incredible Carlisle is. Everything he said, every move he made, was _perfect_."

I winced, taking a step backward as my stomach plummeted. "Bella, I can't listen to this now, _please_…"

She stepped closer, smiling slightly through her tears as she shook her head. "No, you need to hear this. I care about you both, so very much, but in completely different ways. What you and I have, it's not anything you'd find in some generic romantic comedy, Edward. I wasn't instantly in love with you from the moment you tried to pick me up, but it was that initial spark that made you stick with me. And then, for every moment you opened up to me, for every moment you dropped that damn playboy act and just let me see _you_…I realized that you were the most amazing person I'd ever met. And now you're telling me you're in love with me but you're ready to give me up so I can be with Carlisle?" She threw her arms around my neck and gazed deeply into my eyes before she continued. "Don't you realize how ass-backwards that is?"

"He's a better person than me, Bella," I murmured brokenly.

"He's a better person than me, too, Edward…but he's not the _right_ person for me."

I tentatively rested my hands on her hips, hanging on every breath that escaped her lips as she stared up at me. "Who is the right person for you, baby?"

She rested the top of her head against my chest and released a strangled sob, her emotions rendering her unable to speak as we held on tightly to one another with our bodies barely touching. When she looked back up at me, I was pretty fucking sure I saw forever in those deep brown eyes, only now, I wasn't scared of it. Not one goddamn bit.

"You carried me through the park because my feet hurt. You sang _Baby Got Back_ to me just to see me smile. You constantly make me laugh so hard, I cry. When you give me those perfect, tiny glimpses into your soul, I feel so connected to you that it takes my breath away. You drive me so crazy with your cocky asshole tendencies that I don't know whether I want to slap you or jump you….but what I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, is that I've never felt more alive than when I'm with you. And I know that with every second you've spent showing me who you really are, I've fallen even deeper in love with you. You light up my whole world, Edward. I didn't come here to beg you to be with me, but I knew that if I didn't tell you the truth, I'd regret it for the rest of my life. You asked me why I had to see you first? It's because you've always _been_ first, in every thought, in every decision I've made since the day I met you, it's _always _been you."

I gaped at her for the longest time, trying to convince myself that the words coming out of her mouth were actually real and not something I had conjured up in my unraveling mind. "You love me?" My voice was raspy with emotion and a whole lot of self-doubt as I stared down at her.

She released her hands from around my neck and slid them down my arms until our fingers were linked at her sides. "I love you…and I think the reason it took me so long to realize it was because I was afraid of feeling so strongly for you. You've admitted to me that I'm the first girl you've ever wanted more than a hook-up with…falling for you could have potentially been nothing but heartache for me if you had decided that you couldn't get on board with this relationship thing. Carlisle…he could have offered me everything I didn't know I was looking for. Commitment, a relationship, stability…but I didn't want that from him, Edward. I only wanted it with you, and the fact that you more than likely weren't willing to offer me that terrified me. So in turn I suppressed my feelings for you and tried to feel something more for Carlisle. This entire time I've done nothing but deny my true feelings and act on certain things because it was what I _should_ be doing. My need to protect my heart from getting broken again put us all in this incredibly painful situation, so don't tell me this isn't my fault, Edward. I'm responsible for _all_ of this."

"No," I murmured, sliding my fingers beneath her hair until they curled around the back of her neck gently. "You protected yourself because you got screwed over by your ex. You protected yourself because you felt something more for a pervy douche who was too afraid to admit to himself that the monogamies weren't a disease at all, but something he avoided out of pure fear of never being able to find a love like that."

"By lying to myself this entire time, I've created this."

I slid my thumb along her throat, my jaw clenching because I was just so sick of hearing her bag on herself over and over again. "Baby, we can talk about what's happened in the past until we're blue in the face, and it won't change a fucking thing. I don't give a shit whose fault it was, how we got here, and all the other bullshit that put us in this position. But what I need to know, right now, is what you want to take from this. Tell me what you want from me when this is all said and done."

"I don't expect anything from you, especially forgiveness. I just needed to apologize for everything I've -"

"_No_," I interrupted, grabbing her hand and pulling until we were both seated on the couch. "Bella I'm not talking about expectations, and I don't want to hear that you're sorry or that you're a shitty human being because of what happened. I need to know what _you _want. Tell me what's going to make you happy, and Christ, whatever it is, isn't it worth fighting for? You wanted to break free from the walls you built up for your self-preservation? Then do it, Bella! Tell me what you _want_…"

Before the full sentence was out of my mouth she was on me, straddling my thighs and pulling my hair so tightly in her fists that it made my eyes water. She stared fiercely at me with intense emotion, her bottom lip quivering as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I want _you._ I want you to tell me that we can somehow make this work, that you want me just as much, that you love me and that I'm _enough_ for you! I want you to tell me that us being together won't ruin your relationship with your father, because I won't be able to live with myself if I'm responsible for that. I want to know what it feels like to have you make love to me, because I'm convinced that it would be so beautiful, I'd barely be able to survive it. I want to spend my life with you, Edward, and it scares me to go out there on a limb and say that, but I'm sick of all these fucking secrets. It's _you_…that's the only thing I'll ever want."

Tears stung my eyes and I refused to be embarrassed over showing this level of emotion, because this fucking moment was everything to me…just everything. I sat up and wrapped my arms around her waist, crushing our chests together as our lips hovered mere centimeters from one another. I closed my eyes and released a staggering breath, my heart beating a mile a minute as I held her so tightly I feared she would break. "I don't just want you, Bella…I _need_ you, I _thrive_ on you. I don't even fucking _exist _without you…and you've always been enough, you're more than I've ever deserved to find. You want me to tell you that I love you? I swear to Christ I'll never stop saying it, baby, because I love you so much it scares me in the most amazing, perfect way. My pop and I…we have this bond so solid that I'm pretty positive there isn't a force in this world that can break it. It kills me that he's hurting right now, but I also know that he'll do anything to see me happy, including standing aside so we can be together. I feel guilty for relying on that when I know it's tearing him up, but I refuse to let him go, Bella, not when I've gone most of my life without him. It's going to be fucked up and awkward for awhile, but I won't lose Carlisle, and I sure as hell won't lose you…"

She pressed her forehead firmly against mine, the wetness of her cheeks covering my own as we breathed each other's air in the confined space between us. "Promise me," she whispered heavily. "Promise me this will all work out."

I leaned back a bit so I could properly look her in the eyes, brushing her tears away with my thumbs as I smiled softly at her. "I promise, baby. And for the record, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to me wanting more with you. I'm sure I'll still fuck up on the regular, but I want you to be mine, just mine…because since the first night I met you, I've only ever been yours."

She didn't hesitate for a second as she pressed her lips to mine, kissing me chastely and softly as she took my bottom lip between hers. I moaned quietly as I pulled her closer, my hands running firmly up and down her back as I showed her with my kiss just how much I fucking adored her. We finally broke away to catch our breaths, Bella's arms flying around my neck as we hugged each other so incredibly tight. Her lips were warm and wet as they rested against my ear, kissing me softly before she spoke. "I love you, Edward. I know you're going to make mistakes, and so am I, but none of it matters. We'll figure it out together, okay?"

My chest constricted violently as a wave of emotion hit me, and I groaned as I pulled her closer. "It's you and me Bella…from here on out, tell me."

She buried her fingers in my hair, bringing her hips tighter against mine until she came into direct contact with my hardening dick. "It's just us, Edward, together, I promise."

"Where do we go from here, Bella? I kissed her again, unable to keep my hands off of her body as relief and love and happiness mixed in with a heavy dose of guilt and burden. Apparently there was still a dirty-perv left inside me somewhere, since I was simultaneously attempting to feel up my girl while harboring so much guilt over hurting my pop.

Her eyes clouded over as her lips twisted in distress. "I still need to talk to Carlisle, he deserves the truth."

I took her face in my hands, my thumbs sliding slowly along her cheekbones as I stared intently into her eyes. "Yeah, I know he does, baby. We'll make sure you get there…but you can't leave me right now. I'm freaking out because I feel like I'm gonna cry and spazz out and throw up because I love you so much, and it turns out that you love me too. If you walk out that door, I don't know what that will reduce me to…so I need you to stay with me, Bella, please just stay with me…"

The air seemed to thicken between us as I slowly slid my hands down her back and along her thighs, pulling her marginally closer as her breathing hitched. "Do you really think I could leave you right now? You don't know how long I've waited to be here, just like this, with you."

I closed my eyes and let our lips move together as I spoke against them. "I want to be closer to you, Bella. This isn't about sex, I just…fuck, I need you closer, baby." My hands trembled at her sides as I gripped her shirt tightly, feeling as if I would crawl out of my skin until I could feel all of her pressed against me.

She kissed my lips and then my forehead before standing from her perch on my lap, holding her hand out to me and smiling gently. "Come on playboy, show me what you've got."

I stood up quickly, wrapping my arms around her ass and lifting her up as she squealed. I smiled widely at her as she rested her elbows against my shoulders. Her chest was gloriously right in front of my face and yet I couldn't take my eyes away from hers as I held her there in the middle of the living room. "I'm not a playboy anymore…I'm your man. Just yours."

"My man…" she whispered softly, kissing me slowly as I carefully slid her down my body.

I leisurely walked her backwards in the direction of my room, gazing into tired eyes that were now shining so brightly for me. "If you'll let me," I murmured, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes, "I'm going to show you right now, what it feels like when we make love to each other. And then I'll do it again…and again…"

She jumped into my arms and buried her face in my neck, kissing me gently there as she pressed her body tightly to mine. "Take me faster."

"Okay, baby," I whispered, smiling so brightly my face ached as I carried her to my room.

When the door was closed behind us I gently laid her down on my bed, hovering above her on all-fours as I gazed down at her. "This feels different," I murmured.

"Tell me how," she requested, slipping her hands beneath my t-shirt and running them up and down my bare chest.

"Whenever I tried to get you here before, well it was going to mean a lot to me, obviously, but now…now it means _everything_. Before I was excited at the prospect of getting some play and spending time with you but now, I just want to experience what we can be together when there's nothing standing in our way."

"Are you sure you don't just want a piece?" she teased, yanking my t-shirt over my head and pulling me down on top of her.

I rested my forearms on either side of her head once more, absently brushing random strands of hair away from her forehead as I smiled. "I don't just want a piece of you, Isabella…I want every single part of you. Besides, I'm pretty certain I can show you just how much I love you while simultaneously blowing your mind. What do you think?" I smiled at her crookedly and she rolled her eyes, dragging her nails soothingly up and down my back as she kissed me.

"I think I love you, cocky asshole and all."

Our playful mood quickly turned serious as our smiles fell, the intensity of the moment sliding back over us as we gazed into each other's eyes. "Lean up, baby," I whispered, pulling her shirt off of her body as she did so.

I wasted no time in removing her bra, needing to feel our bare chests pressed tightly together as our gentle kisses quickly turned heated. It was almost hard to believe how perfectly we were made for one another. Our bodies were molded to fit together, our kisses had this amazing ebb and flow to them that I'd never experienced with another before, even if they were meaningless flings. I loved it when she was proud of me, I loved it when she got aggravated with me because she was just so fucking cute when she was mad, and I couldn't stop thinking about how anxious I was to start this journey with her into the unknown. I knew it wouldn't be sunshine and daisies all the time…and that's what made it so much fucking better.

We moaned into each other's mouths as my hands slid up her sides, my fingers gliding between our pressed bodies until they could find her pert nipples, alert and begging for my attention. "God, Bella," I groaned, breathing raggedly against her skin as I circled her nipples firmly with my thumbs. "I want to take my time with you, but it's too much." I pressed my forehead against hers and sighed, seeking out her guidance as her body arched frantically into mine. "Tell me what to do, baby, it's too much…"

"Look at me," she whispered, waiting until I met her eyes before continuing. "We've got all the time in the world, now take these off." Her lips quirked up into a smile as she tugged at the waistband of my sweatpants. I lifted up off of her, shaking my head as I stilled her eager hands.

"No, you first."

I unbuttoned her jeans and hooked my fingers beneath them and her underwear, pulling them off as quickly as possible until she was completely naked beneath me. I was frozen to the spot. It had been so long since I'd seen her like this, and even then it was in a dark room in the middle of the night. My memory didn't do her one single iota of justice. Jesus Christ, my girl was breathtaking. I wasn't able to pull myself out of her trance until I felt her warm hand dip beneath the waistband of my sweatpants, cupping my aching cock in her palm over my boxers.

"I thought that might bring you back," she murmured quietly, a wry smile on her face.

I sucked in a deep breath as she stroked me, leaning down to run my tongue along her bottom lip thickly before tangling it with her own. Everything grew frantic and my hands demanded to be everywhere on her body, which they were. They started at her shoulders and worked their way down every fucking inch of gloriously smooth skin. My eyes never left hers as I dragged two fingers past her belly button and between her legs, both of us gasping for air as we gave each other a little taste of what was to come.

My girl was so wet for me, her little mewls of pleasure rendering me completely fucking brain-dead as she abandoned my throbbing cock for the waistband of my boxers, pulling everything off of me as quickly as she could. Once we were completely relieved of all our clothing, I couldn't help but look down and take in the marvel that was Bella and I, naked together. Holy shit, nothing fucking looked hotter…or more meant to be. Now that I truly and officially had Bella as my own, I had no idea how I'd lasted this long without her.

"Come down here, _please_."

Her quiet plea pulled me out of my thoughts, and I vowed to stop getting lost in my head when everything I'd ever wanted was lying beneath me, wanting me, loving me…my God, did I truly deserve to feel this good?

I moved above her, grabbing a pillow that was haphazardly thrown on the bed and sliding it beneath her ass, for a multitude of reasons. Comfort, pleasure, angle…I was nothing if not thorough when it came to the biggest moment of my life. When I finally settled down on top of her body and felt all of us pressed together, my eyes quite literally rolled back into my head. "Holy shit, Bella," I gasped, our mouths instantly finding each other as every swirl of her hot tongue sent an instant jolt of pleasure to my cock.

My shaft was resting gloriously against her wet heat, and I was unable to stop myself from slowly gyrating my hips against hers. Bella cursed in a breathless whimper as she clung to my back, pressing herself firmly against my dick. "Edward -"

"Don't worry," I panted, reaching down to circle her nipple with my tongue before sucking it into my mouth. "I'm sterile. Old foosball accident. Trust me, baby, watch where you stand when you play that game. Shit can get real very fast."

She laughed breathlessly, slapping my ass as she rolled her eyes. "Edward Masen, you're making jokes now? Are you serious with this? I'm ready to combust any second and you're poking fun!"

She covered my mouth with her hand just as I was about to make a comment about her choice of words. I loved that she knew me so well, and I loved it even more that she wanted to be with me regardless.

"Don't even say it," she smirked, removing her hand from my mouth and linking our fingers together. "I'm on the birth control shot so…I'm good if you are. And I really hope you are because I don't want anything standing in our way, Edward, not anymore."

I untangled our fingers and brought her hand to my lips, kissing it repeatedly as I smiled down at her. "You're going to let me have you like this, baby? You trust me?"

"I've always trusted you, Edward," she breathed.

I slid my hands beneath her back and brought her closer to me, placing gentle kisses all over her face before our lips slowly began moving together. "You feel like Heaven, so warm and wet for me. I love you so much, Bella," I panted, sliding my hand between us to grip the base of my cock and align it with her perfectly.

"I love you too, Edward," she whispered, tears beginning to build in her eyes once more as she trembled from the intensity of the moment. "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

"Hey…" I ran my fingertips along her cheek and kissed her sweetly, pulling back to look into her eyes once more. "No more apologies, Bella. No regrets…right?"

She nodded shakily, smiling through her tears as we held each other for dear life. I watched her intently as I slowly slid inside her, skin against skin for the first time in my life. Nothing compared. She was…fuck, she was my paradise. This girl alone gave me more than money and prep schools ever could. This girl made up for a shoddy childhood and an incredibly low feeling of self-worth. This girl fucking made me who I was, and as I made love to her, as I whispered my love against her lips and cried it out in pleasure, I just knew…

She was worth every bit of heartache, every ounce of tension between my pop and I and every empty trick I'd bedded because I _thought _it was what I'd wanted.

Now I knew what the meaning was. Bella was the meaning, and I was never going to fucking let her go.

She cried my name like it meant the whole fucking world to her as I slid her ass further up on the pillow and deepened my thrusts inside her. Her fingers pushed into my skin like they never wanted to let go, and believe me, I never wanted her to either.

As the afternoon sun turned a darker shade of orange, I continued to watch her through hooded eyes, panting and moaning as beads of sweat fell from my body and onto hers. As we gave ourselves to each other for what was essentially the first time, we communicated through the touch of our bodies and the connection of our eyes. We had talked so much in the first hour she was at my apartment that there was truly nothing left to say with words. But like this, my God, we could talk forever like this.

It pained me to blink. It fucking hurt to stop looking into those perfect eyes for even a second because I was ravenous for the adoration I saw there. Tears were brimming along her lashes and I leaned forward to kiss her eyelids, cradling her face in my hands as I soothed her. "Please don't cry, baby," I whispered, pushing in and out of her achingly, maddeningly slow.

"I'm just happy," she promised, kissing me until we were both breathless as she pulled me down farther on top of her. "I just…when I came here today, I never dreamed that you'd want me too. Not after this, and now we're here together, and I just…I've never been more grateful for anything in my life."

"Fuck, come here, Bella," I murmured frantically, quickly repositioning us so I could get her closer. It was like hell leaving her body, but it was a sacrifice I was briefly willing to make.

I sat up and rested on one hand against the mattress as she hovered above my lap, facing me. She grabbed my cock between us and slowly slid back down onto me, wrapping her legs around my waist once she was settled.

"Jesus Christ," I whimpered, resting my full weight on the arm that supported me while wrapping the other firmly around her waist. She was so close to me like this, my cock deep inside her and so much of our skin sliding together that I could barely comprehend this level of pleasure.

We moved frantically together, Bella doing nothing but sliding back and forth on top of me rather than lifting herself and separating our bodies when neither one of us would have been able to stand it.

"I love you," I whispered thickly, feeling overwhelmed with my impending orgasm and the heavy but very welcomed emotions that were spiraling throughout my body. "Bella…baby, tell me, I need to hear it, please…"

"Oh God, I love you too, Edward. I love you, I'm so close…"

I wrapped one arm around her hip and slid the other down to where we were connected, dragging my thumb along her clit in heavy circles as she began clenching down gloriously tight on my cock. "Let me come inside you," I moaned, pushing my hips up rapidly to meet hers.

"Yes, I want it…"

She was so close, her entire body trembling violently as she continued to thrust her hips hard against my own. I moved my thumb faster against her clit, my motions causing a steady vibration against her swollen skin until she screamed, her mouth falling open silently afterwards as she stilled on top of me. I crushed her against me, crying out loudly as she slid jerkily back and forth on my cock while her orgasm jolted through her body.

I let her ride it out and could no longer hold back, gripping her so firmly I knew I was leaving marks as I pumped viciously into her, my groans deep and short until I exploded inside her, crying out loudly as I held her firmly against my body and pulsed inside her.

Holy fuck. Holy fucking fuck.

I fell backwards in a heap, bringing my girl down with me until she landed with a slap against my chest. Everything was numb. I was pretty fucking convinced I didn't have legs as I laid there like a lump of nothing. The only parts of my body I could feel were the parts that Bella was touching, and that fact alone made me pretty fucking delirious with joy.

My hand ran gently up and down her spine as she shuddered above me, aftershocks of her climax still running through her body. I was right there with her, every nerve-ending was on end as I shook beneath her. "You okay, baby?" I whispered breathlessly, leaning up to press a kiss to the top of her head.

"I'm so good," she groaned, kissing my chest as her hand slid leisurely up and down my sweaty stomach.

"Hell yeah you are." I ran a hand through my hair and sighed heavily, enjoying our post-coital glow more than anything else in this world. And there we were, together, _finally_ fucking together…

…like we were always supposed to be.

**-x-x-x-**

Several hours later, Bella was perched on my stomach in nothing but my ratty old t-shirt, feeding me lo-mein noodles one by one. It really sucked because I was so fucking hungry I could have eaten a house, but with my hands on her thighs and her cute little smirk as she fed me, I was really in no position to complain.

It had been almost unbearable for me to answer the door for the delivery guy, so I didn't know how she was even remaining in the upright position at this point. I literally couldn't move a fucking inch after the workout we'd given each other - repeatedly. I couldn't stay off of her and she refused to stop me…hell, I'd given my girl so many orgasms I'd lost count; I was pretty sure Bella couldn't even count at _all _anymore, given how thoroughly I blew her mind.

"Are you going to work tomorrow?" Bella smiled down at me, feeding me a noodle before I took the Chinese box out of her hand and set it to the side.

I pulled her down until we were chest to chest, feeling my own eyes sparkle into hers as I gazed at her with everything I had swirling around in my overactive heart. "I probably should, I haven't exactly been the employee of the year lately. What about you?"

"Yeah, I've got a lot of catching up to do." She kissed me slowly, deepening it and grinding against me when it really started to heat up. Sadly, my manaconda was crying out for help, officially ready to boycott any more sex until I gave him a much needed break. I was clearly out of practice when it came to laying it down repeatedly and often, but luckily I hoped to remedy that in the very immediate future.

"It's getting dark," I whispered, glancing toward the window and back to her with a serious expression on my face.

"Yeah." She chewed on her lip as she stared down at my chest, seeming to lose herself to thoughts of what we both knew was coming.

"Hey…I love you," I breathed against her forehead, kissing her there as I wrapped my arms around her waist.

She met my eyes and smiled sadly.

"I'll come with you, baby. I don't want you to have to go through this alone."

She shook her head, kissing me once more before sitting up. "You know I've got to do this on my own, Edward."

"Is there anything I can do, Bella? I can't handle seeing this." I traced her swollen bottom lip that was cast downward in a heartbreaking frown.

"Yeah, shower with me…and hold me until I have to go."

Wordlessly I took her hand, both of us climbing off the bed and walking to the bathroom. It was impossible for me to take my eyes from her, the emotion of everything we'd just experienced together not lessening at all between us. We slowly took off the few items of clothing that remained on our bodies and I turned on the shower, adjusting the temperature of the spray until it was just right.

We didn't speak as we washed each other, never taking it down a sexual route; it was more worshipful than anything. I was mesmerized as I watched my hands slide smoothly along her soapy, wet skin. I belonged to her…I had never felt like this in my life and it was wrecking me in the best possible way. After we were clean we both stood beneath the spray for several minutes, hugging each other so tightly until we were both letting out shuddering sighs. She fucking meant everything to me, and I told her so, there in the perfect confines of a shower that was very quickly starting to define my life in a huge fucking way.

When we finally pulled ourselves from the water, we dried each other off and walked into my room. I slid on a pair of jeans and perched on the edge of the bed, watching her intently as she put her clothes back on.

"Come back to me?" I asked her, my voice cracking on the last word.

She looked as if my words broke her heart as she pulled on her shoes, walking quickly toward me until she was in my lap once more. "I'll always come back to you," she murmured fiercely, her eyes confirming her words as she stared intently at me.

"Bella…"

I couldn't finish, because it was just more than I could fucking handle.

She knew it, too…holding me tightly and whispering everything I needed to hear in that moment. She loved me. Over and over again, she promised that she loved me, until suddenly I was capable of breathing again.

This love thing was just so fucking intense.

We walked to the front door hand in hand, stopping in front of it as she stood on her tip-toes and wrapped her arms around my neck. "Sleep next to me tonight," I whispered, placing kisses down the column of her neck.

"I need clothes," she giggled quietly.

"You don't," I smirked, my smile growing wider. "I promise you don't, just come back. Please Bella…come back to me tonight."

"Hmmm…" she tapped her lip playfully, pretending to mull over her reply.

"I have a lot to offer, baby, seriously."

"Like what?"

"Well, for instance, _Baby Got Back _is not the only pop culture rap song of the 90's I know."

"Ooh, that _is_ intriguing, tell me more," she purred.

I rested my cheek against hers and kissed her ear, smiling as I began to give her an example of my talents in the smoothest voice I could muster. "Way deep down south where we play this game, it's them Quad City DJ's and you, we call it the train…come on ride the train, and ride it, _woo woo_…"

Bella began laughing hysterically, pushing me away by the chest and calling me a dork. Her eyes were crinkling because she was smiling so widely, and I was pretty sure my heart was gonna leap right out of my fucking chest. "What? You like it," I smirked.

"Edward, no one's going to want to ride your train if you sing that song, trust me," she giggled.

I pulled her closer by the hips, rolling my eyes. "Michelle, Tamika and Tanya wanna ride this train, baby! It's in the lyrics, so don't even!"

She laughed so hard that tears began forming in her eyes. "You are certainly something special, Edward Masen," she sighed, wrapping her arms around me once more.

"You love me?" I asked deeply, the sincerity of my question quickly breaking through the playfulness of the moment.

She sighed deeply, so deeply before giving me a quiet response. "You have no idea how much."

"Come back to me…"

"As soon as I can," she whispered, kissing me slowly.

"It'll be okay. He'll be okay, baby, we all will be."

"I know," she whispered sadly.

"I'll be here, Bella. I'll always be here, if you need me."

"I'll be back tonight."

I kissed her deeply, pushing her up against the door and wrapping my whole body around her. "Drive safe, I love you."

I eventually opened the door and stepped out with her into the hallway, giving her one more kiss and watching her longingly as she walked away. I didn't move from my spot until she was on the elevator, making sure that motherfucker James wasn't stupid enough to fuck with my girl.

As she disappeared from my sight, my chest twisted in pain from letting her go after everything we'd just experienced. But then I remembered that from here on out, whenever I had to watch her walk away, she would always be walking back to me again.

And that was all I could ever ask for.

**-x-x-x-**

**A/N:**

**Kate: **Hey twin, guess what? I've got a dirty little secret too!

**Brits: **?

**Kate: **There's an **ALTERNATE ENDING **on my profile: **http:/www (DOT) fanfiction (DOT) net/s/5685389/16/Dirty_Little_Secrets**

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…(epi to follow)


	17. Epilogue

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder—Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**~Epilogue~**

**EPOV**

"Edward Masen! No means no!"

I rolled my eyes, all while maintaining a blinding smile upon my face. For as much as my girl liked to bust my balls, I sure did enjoy it.

"I'm just saying, baby," I chuckled, holding my arm up to block her adorable fists. "A little road head might alleviate some stress."

"You don't have any stress," she grumbled, a smile breaking through her scowl as I caught her hand and twisted my fingers with hers.

"I have some stress…my gorgeous girlfriend is constantly busting my chops. That's stressful."

She was silent for only a moment before she was smacking me again, giggling melodically as I protected myself from her wrath. "Stop attacking me while I'm driving, woman!"

"I thought that's what you wanted," she challenged, quirking her brow at me and taking my hand once more.

Sadness flashed in her eyes, breaking through our playfulness as she squeezed me tighter. "You sure you want to do this?" I murmured, lifting our joined hands to brush across her cheek.

She nodded solemnly. "Yes, I do. It's time…we can't avoid him forever."

"I just feel shitty."

"There's a good chance that feeling will never go away, Edward. My stomach is in knots, but he told you he wanted both of us there. He just doesn't want us to miss out on Gladys's big night."

"I don't understand why Gladys had to have a shotgun retirement anyway," I grumbled.

Bella laughed softly. "Sweetie, she won the Powerball, why wouldn't she?"

"Still…lame excuse."

"Hey, at least she stuck around long enough to train her replacement for Car…for your dad." Two months had gone by, and she still couldn't say his name.

I would be lying if I said that it didn't bother me, but I was confident in the feelings Bella and I shared. There were no doubts for either one of us, but it still didn't change the fact that we had hurt someone we both deeply cared for. That shit stung…for all three of us.

I knew my pop always put on a happy face for me whenever we'd catch the game or have a few beers. After everything went down with us and Bella, the one thing he and I vowed to one another was that we wouldn't let this fucked up coincidence ruin our relationship. Carlisle and I had gone too long without having each other in our lives; nothing would ever break us up now, because he was my fucking _family_. That meant everything to me…but Bella meant just as much. Thankfully, Carlisle understood that, and it never ceased to amaze me just how lucky I was to have him for a father.

All three of us were caught up in something that was out of our control, and now all we could do was sort through the rubble and try to live our lives again. Carlisle never outright asked me to keep Bella away, but as far as I was concerned, it was a given. The wounds were still raw for all of us, and the distance was a necessity because of it.

All things considered, my pop was doing a hell of a lot better than I expected. It killed me every time his smile never reached his eyes, or when he confessed that he wasn't sure when he'd ever be ready to get back on the horse, dating-wise. In those moments, I could see as plain as day what Bella meant to him, and I felt like a fucking shit-heel as a result.

Right after it happened, I was constantly apologizing, but for what exactly, I didn't know. I just needed him to understand that his pain cut me just as deeply as it did him. I would have done anything to take it away, but eventually, he demanded that I stop apologizing for the hand we were dealt.

"_Son, I don't want to hear the word 'sorry' out of your mouth again. I'll be all right, because you're all right. That's all I need, okay kid? Just treat her right and be happy together…don't worry about me when you have so much to be thankful for."_

And that was my dad. Selfless, amazing, and so unbelievably generous. He had so much love to give, and I prayed that one day he'd be able to find the right woman.

My palms began sweating as we got closer to the banquet hall where Gladys' retirement party was being held. My knee began bobbing frantically up and down, and Bella looked as white as a fucking sheet. We were in a sorry state.

"Maybe we shouldn't um, touch or anything when we get there?" she swallowed thickly, her nerves evident in her eyes as she fiddled with her clutch.

"Okay," I whispered.

"Edward, I don't…"

"What is it, baby?" I asked softly, sliding my hand beneath her hair to wrap around the back of her neck.

"I don't want to see him hurting. I know that's selfish of me, but he's such a good man, and he's been through hell because of me…"

"Bella, don't even," I said forcefully, pulling her toward me over the center console. "We've been through this a thousand times. My pop is stronger than you think. He'll be all right. None of this is your fault, you have to let go of all the blame."

She sniffed and rested her head against my shoulder. "I know. I just hate this."

My fingers slid through her long hair soothingly as I kissed her forehead. "I feel the same way, Bella. But this is something that needs to happen. Once we break through this barrier, it will only get easier as time goes on."

"At least we'll have Alice and Jasper there," she sighed sadly.

"And Emmett and Rosalie, too," I reminded.

Bella looked at me warily. "I don't think she likes me."

"She doesn't like anybody, baby, it's not personal," I chuckled, straightening my tie.

I pulled into the parking lot of the hall and both our nerves escalated tenfold. "This is three hours out of our lives, Bella. We're walking into a room full of friends and family who love us. We'll get through this."

She smiled reverently at me and kissed the back of my hand before resting it against her cheek. "You're calming me down already. Who knew you'd be so levelheaded about this?"

I smiled crookedly and leaned forward to kiss her gently on the lips. "I'm just a peaceful kind of guy, sweet thing. And just so you have something to look forward to when we get back to my place, I fully intend on serenading you tonight. Ladies' choice…do you want MC Hammer or Vanilla Ice?"

Bella clasped her chest and pretended to swoon. "Oh, Edward, you sure know how to romance a girl," she trilled sarcastically.

"Damn straight," I growled, pulling her over the console until she was practically in my lap. "Now give me some love since we're going to be all chaste and shit in there."

"How much love do you want?" she purred, the back of her hand sliding down my stomach. I caught it just before she went past my belt, groaning softly.

"Oh sure, now you want to give me road head," I murmured against her lips, tracing them with my tongue before diving into her mouth for a better taste.

My girl's flavor was fucking delicious.

Our kiss turned heated as she gripped my tie and wrapped it around her fist, pulling until I was kissing her hard enough for it to hurt. I squeezed her bare thighs as my hands snuck beneath her dress, sliding higher until my fingertips brushed lacy fabric. "You're an evil woman," I gasped against her chin.

"I'm not," she whispered, kissing me once more before looking deeply into my eyes. "And all I want from you after this party is to take me home with you, let me cuddle with you and Taylor, and hold me until I fall asleep."

"Fuck, that made me hard."

She rolled her eyes and slapped my chest, attempting to pull away before I grabbed her tightly. "Hey…that's all I ever want too, you know."

She wrapped her arms around my neck, her cheek against mine as she breathed evenly. "I love you, Edward," she whispered against my skin.

Music to my ears.

"Can I add one more thing to that list of activities tonight?" My fingers began creeping up her thigh again, and she melted into my grasp.

"Oh…sorry, sweetie, I should have specified. That's what I want to do _after_ you rip all my clothes off and fuck me. My bad." She patted my cheek and grinned at me with pure fire in her eyes, crawling back into her seat and opening the door to climb out of the car.

Fuck, that woman would be the death of me.

I caught up with her quickly, lacing our fingers together and kissing her temple. "What did I tell you? Evil…"

"You like it," she smirked.

I shook my head. "No, I love it." I leaned down and sucked her earlobe into my mouth before kissing her jaw. "I love _you_."

She had no idea how much.

As we approached the glass doors of the banquet hall, Bella regretfully untangled her fingers from mine. "We're almost there…we should let go."

I looked at her fiercely, stopping in my tracks as I lost myself inside the brown eyes that completely and utterly owned my ass. "I'm never letting go," I murmured solemnly, meaning so much more than clasped hands.

She gazed up at me in my favorite way. Eyes shining, lips quirked, pure love radiating from every inch of her. With a sigh she ran her hand along my cheek. "I'm not either."

We both needed strength from one another to be able to withstand this moment of truth. This was the first time my pop would see Bella since the bullshit went down, and the first time he'd be seeing us together. It was the first time he'd see firsthand just how in love with me she was, and perhaps the first time I'd see his own love for her shining in his eyes.

Fuck, this was all so much to take, but they were the two most important people in my life, and one way or another, we would fix this shit…because we had to.

I held the door open widely for Bella as she graciously stepped through the threshold, and with a deep breath, we walked toward the sounds of music and laughter billowing from inside.

**-x-**

**BPOV**

I don't think I'd ever really understood the phrase "sweating like a whore in church." Until now.

I stepped through the heavy door of the banquet hall that Edward held open for me, simultaneously wiping my damp palms on my skirt. I'd tried to keep the mood during the drive light, for my boyfriend's sake, because I knew he was as nervous as I was.

Well, maybe not _quite_ as nervous, but I could tell he was jittery too. He'd made more unnecessary jokes to put me at ease, but the smile never completely made it to his eyes. He was constantly touching me, trying to reassure me, even though I knew the whole key to _that_ lay within my own mind. But I didn't want him to think I didn't appreciate his efforts, so I laughed and smiled and even played him at his own game, throwing his barbs back at him.

Truly, though, I was so nervous about this party that I was almost sick. I wasn't sure why; Carlisle had reassured Edward repeatedly that our happiness was all he ever wanted, and that seeing the two of us happy together was the epitome of that. And Edward and I _were_ happy…more happy than I'd ever been, more happy than I'd allowed myself to believe I could be. Almost every day, the joy in my life was enough to make me forget about the whole messed-up situation where our relationship had begun.

It was only in unexpected moments when guilt stung me, made twofold by my own selfishness: when Edward spent a weekend afternoon watching the game with his father, or when the two of them went out for drinks after work. Carlisle always asked how I was doing, of course, and although it was no less than what I should have expected, it made me ache anyway.

My transition into a _relationship_ with Edward hadn't been a seamless one. Although I knew he loved me, and I trusted him implicitly, he was completely unprepared for the whole concept of monogomy. He'd spent his life guarding his heart from opening up to let someone in, and there were moments when that showed. Our first fight, when we'd ambled down to Blue World after dinner, and he'd let a bleach-haired tramp sit on his lap, waiting for me to fling her off instead of politely rebuffing her himself. Or when a chance meeting with James in the hallway had almost ended up in a fistfight when a stinging word or two would have sufficed. Edward loved in extremes, and he was still learning that a relationship was all about compromise, not black or white.

I didn't love him any less for it, though.

My boyfriend…my impetuous, hot-headed, passionate boyfriend. Edward and I were ridiculously and improbably perfect together. He could make me laugh when I let the stress of work get to me too much, and I grounded him when his anxiety over Esme's half-hearted continued meddling in his life had him spinning off into space. On paper, we never should have made sense. But in the end, we loved each other so much that it all just kind of worked.

And Carlisle's quiet acceptance of it all made it so much easier, and that only made my guilt worse.

I hadn't seen or spoke to Carlisle in two months, since my last conversation with him. Edward had shared all the news with me: the flourishing of his practice, Gladys' improbable Powerball win. But never did Edward suggest that the three of us go out for dinner, or did Carlisle invite us both over. There were limits that we all needed to adhere to first, and I was only too glad to cling to those.

Now, though, was the actual test of our weeks of polite side-stepping. Bailing out of Gladys' retirement party wasn't an option for either of us, and truthfully, it was probably the best opportunity Edward and I could hope for. Alice had practically dressed me and shoved me out the door into Edward's car, filling my ears with practical wisdom that made sense up until the final moment. We were all adults. Carlisle didn't hate me _or_ Edward. The world wasn't coming to an end. We could do this.

The hall was on the higher end of such venues; Edward had told me that Carlisle had practically begged Gladys to let him give her a more luxurious send-off. She'd lovingly scolded him for the thought, but requested something where everyone would be comfortable…and then asked him to hand over his Amex to pay for it. The result was a plated dinner at an old-money Miami banquet hall, and a DJ instead of a string quartet. It was a testament to Gladys' popularity that the room was packed when we walked in.

Edward's warm arm snaked around my waist. "Whoa, this looks like my senior prom…emphasis on _senior_."

"Stop!" I hissed, even as I smothered a giggle. The presence of Gladys' friends did tip the crowd toward the AARP end, but from the look of things and the line at the bar, I might end up dancing with a man who cashed Social Security checks by the end of the night.

The first familiar faces we spotted were Rosalie and Emmett. I wasn't quite sure what Rosalie's problem was with me, despite Edward's repeated assurances that she hated _everyone_, but I found her snotty attitude more than a little annoying. Emmett, on the other hand, was a complete hoot. He was like a giant teddy bear in a WWF wrestler's body, and an eighth-grade boy's sense of humor. You couldn't help but like him. His ice-bitch of a supermodel girlfriend, however, was a different matter, and her arched eyebrow as we approached just reinforced that.

"Dude!" Emmett reached out to fist-bump Edward. "Who would have thought your dad knew so many fine-ass MILFs and GILFs? This party isn't half-bad!"

"Sick!" Edward laughed, even as Rosalie landed a blow into Emmett's ribs that made him grunt. When he got his breath back, he managed to wheeze out a reply.

"Where's Jazzy-boy? Don't tell me he managed to dodge an invite to _this_?"

"He and Alice were right behind us, last we knew," I put in.

"Yeah, you know his schedule is set by that hopped-up elfin princess. She probably sent him out for some new mascara or some shit," Edward added. I elbowed him, a move that he neatly dodged before pulling me tight against his hard body. "Hey, I speak the truth, baby, and you know it."

"Don't think so."

Rosalie snorted, a surprising sound from her glacial perfection. "I hope you two aren't hungry. Gladys apparently wanted hors d'oeuvres for an hour or two before dinner."

"It's a retirement party, not a fucking wedding reception," was Edward's stinging reply. "Now I see the line for the drinks, but where's my pop and the lady in question?"

Emmett gestured with his half-empty glass. "The receiving line is over there. Have fun."

I could hear another grunt from him as Rosalie landed another dig, but all I was conscious of was Edward's warm hand settling on my hip as we turned toward the far corner of the hall. "You okay, baby?"

I licked my dry lips, already missing the diversion Emmett and Rosalie had provided. "Ready as I'll ever be. You?"

Instead of replying, he pulled me tighter against his body, and I let myself sink into the comfort it provided. "It'll be fine Bella, you can do this. But if you want to bail, just say the word."

I took a deep breath, bailing was the last thing I would allow myself to do right now. "I'm all right. Let's go. Just…" Contradicting our earlier words, I reached down and grasped his hand in a death-grip. "Don't leave me, okay?"

If he was surprised or hesitant at my request, it didn't show. "I'm not going anywhere, baby, you know that." His fingers, entwined through my own, tightened. "It's just my dad, not Genghis Khan or some shit."

_Except that I was dating your dad while I was dating you, except that I know what it's like to have sex with your dad and..._ I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't regret a single thing I'd done with Carlisle, and Edward was my life now.

The resolve of his hand in mine gave me strength, and as he tugged me toward the corner of the banquet hall I took a deep breath. Like a scene out of some cheesy movie, the crowd parted before us and there _he_ was.

Dressed to perfection in a suit, of course, standing just to Gladys' right, laughing at something, a glass of amber liquid in his hand. Carlisle. Oh Carlisle…I may not have loved him the way I knew he'd loved me back, but the quick ache came and pierced through me. What I'd done to him…

The bitch about cheesy movies and crowds parting was that the other party inevitably laid eyes on you almost as quick. Just as Carlisle's eyes landed on us, I heard Edward take in a heavy breath next to me, just before he launched himself into that most charming of facades he could put on. Stepping forward quickly, he clapped a hand on his father's back as he addressed the guest of honor.

"Powerball, huh? And here I thought we had an _understanding_, Gladys? Whatever happened to the whole sugar mama thing?"

Gladys laughed as the man I quickly recognized as her husband threw a mock-scowl in Edward's direction. "Step off my woman, boy. She'll be supporting me through our retirement now!"

"I couldn't even tempt her out of leaving." I could hear Carlisle's easy voice, and I forced myself to smile in his direction without really meeting his eyes. "It's good to see you, son. Hello Bella."

"Hello, Carlisle. Congratulations, Gladys." The words were mine, but I was feeling strangely out-of-body at the moment.

"Ohh, thank you, sweetpea!" Gladys reached over to give both Edward and I an impetuous hug before beaming at us. "We're leaving on one of those 'round-the-world cruises next weekend, but we'll be sure to send postcards!"

"To hell with postcards, I want souvenirs!" Edward's voice was relaxed, but his fingers after they settled back on my hip were anything but. "Pearls from Bora-Bora or some shit."

"Buy your own pearls, hon!" Gladys flung back at him. "Now go enjoy some of the overpriced appetizers I charged to your father's account, and I fully expect a dance or three with you later this evening. In the meantime, behave yourself!"

Another couple crowded up against us just then, clamoring for Gladys' attention, and just like that, our long-dreaded meeting was over. Edward guided me away, toward the dance floor, just before snaking down a hand to squeeze my ass. I squeaked involuntarily.

"Edward, God!"

"I've heard a lot of that Edward-_God!_ thing, but it still sounds good." He swung me out onto the dance floor, under the dizzying swirl of the DJ's lights. Some Rush power-ballad was playing, and I let him pull me tight against his body. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Considering we only said two words to each other, it didn't really have a chance to be bad." The butterflies-on-crack feeling in my stomach had only slightly abated at our brief meeting with Carlisle, and I knew there was more to come in this evening than what we'd already faced. "But I'm not ready to bail, if that's what you're asking."

"Nah, I knew that." His arm tightened around me, and despite his light tone, I knew he was worried. "I just…you know…"

"I'm okay, Edward. Swear to God." I sucked in a deep breath and pulled back enough so that he could see me smile. "It was quick and painless, it's all good. I think I built it up too much in my mind."

The green eyes that pierced though any lie I could conceive studied my face. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." I stood on tiptoe to plant a kiss on his cheek. "I'm fine."

"We'll probably be sitting with them at dinner, you know."

"That's fine too." The song changed to an equally mood-appropriate Eric Clapton crooning about looking wonderful tonight. "I'm not ashamed to be here with you, you know that. And Carlisle would never be anything but a perfect gentleman under any circumstances."

Edward sucked in a deep breath, looking away. "Baby…it's okay. I know this is awkward as fuck, I just want to make sure you're all right."

"Okay, let's just be blunt then?" Bluntness was something I'd come to appreciate in our relationship. "This is Carlisle we're talking about. He's not going to hurt us. That's the last thing in the world he'd do. Maybe getting all this awkward seeing-you-again stuff out of the way will make things better overall."

He heaved out a deep breath. "Yeah. In the grand scheme of things, it's probably about time we grow up and act like adults...as much as I hate to admit it."

I smiled up at him and wove my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"You know I fucking do." His words were rough, but I could hear the emotion in his voice. "You and me baby, no matter what."

"Exactly. So let's just…let's just dance to the best of the power ballads, okay?"

He forced out a chuckle before pecking a quick kiss on my lips. "Whatever you want, beautiful."

Eric Clapton was still singing and I'd started to relax when a voice spoke from just to our right. "Am I allowed to cut in?"

Carlisle's voice, easy and as kind as I'd ever heard it. It could have been an awkward moment, but in the next heartbeat when Edward's eyes met mine, I knew it didn't have to be. He trusted me, and this meeting was one that needed to happen.

Edward let me go into his father's arms, and I took a deep breath before looking up into the blue eyes I hadn't met for so long. "Hi."

"Hello, Bella." He moved easily in time to the music, his arms perfectly polite around me, his face betraying nothing. "I'm glad you both came tonight."

"We wouldn't have missed it." I bit my lip, unsure what to say next.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm okay. Busy as always."

He nodded. "Edward told me you're planning on going back to school?"

"Sort of…I'm going to start taking a few classes on website coding and stuff. I'm thinking about striking out on my own instead of contracting with the company in California."

"That sounds like a great idea," he said immediately. "I have no doubt you'll do just as well if not better for yourself. And feel free to use me as a reference."

I smiled tentatively at him. "Thank you, Carlisle."

He smiled back, nothing but kindness in his expression. "Bella…no matter what happened…I hope you'll always feel comfortable approaching me if there's anything you or Edward need. I'll always be here for both of you."

"I know," I murmured, dropping my gaze. "I just feel bad…that…"

"Don't feel bad," he said quickly. "No regrets, right?"

"I found out that's easier said than done."

"Bella…" I felt his fingers under my chin, lifting my face back to meet his eyes. "I saw the two of you the moment you walked in the door. I saw you talking to Emmett and Rosalie. And the looks on your faces…" Here he hesitated for a moment. "You both looked so _happy_. I've _never_ seen my son look the way he does with you. And your expression was a mirror of his."

"I love him very much," I whispered.

"I can tell, and that makes me happier than I can express in words. Stop beating yourself up over the past…all I want is for the two of you to be content in each other, and that brings me all the satisfaction and joy I need."

There was absolutely no doubting the sincerity in his voice or in his blue eyes, but I sensed a note of finality between us when he leaned forward and kissed my cheek, releasing me as the music ended. "Enjoy yourselves tonight, and take care, Bella."

"Thank you."

He gave me one last smile before turning away, cutting through the growing crowd on the dance floor. He'd barely disappeared when I felt familiar arms wrap around me.

"You okay, baby?"

I turned to face Edward, and immediately saw the anxiety in his green eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine. I think he just needed to say goodbye in person."

"What do you mean, goodbye? Is he planning on packing up and splitting or some shit?"

I had to laugh, despite the real concern in his voice. "Don't be so literal, silly. I meant…goodbye to me."

"Oh." He exhaled a long breath. "What did he say?"

I thought for a moment about recounting the entire conversation, but I didn't want to add to the guilt I already knew Edward carried. "He wanted to make sure I knew we could come to him for anything we ever needed. And he said we looked very happy."

"Was he freaked out?"

"No, not at all. I think he needed that conversation just as much as I did. I don't think we'll be all best friends and inviting him over for dinner parties any time soon, but maybe some day…"

Edward nodded, his expression relaxing. "Hey…they're playing our song!"

I focused back on the music and then groaned almost immediately. "Edward…we don't have a song, and if we did, it wouldn't be _Everything I Do, I Do it For You_."

"Sure it would," he insisted, pulling me tightly against his body and moving with me to Bryan Adams' crooning. "This was the ultimate love song of the nineties. I think I'll sing it to you every night before bed. Naked."

I couldn't help but laugh as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "That's okay, playboy, totally not necessary."

"The singing, or the naked part?"

"Mmm, I'll take the naked part any time." I felt another surreptitious squeeze on my butt and scowled at him. "Edward Masen…I swear to God I'll take that last part back if you don't stop groping me in public!"

He grinned down at me, the swirling lights glinting in his dancing eyes. "Love you anyway, baby."

"I love you anyway too," I replied, just before he bent to kiss me. The very last knots of tension left my body as he held me close, and I didn't even tease him when he sang the final few words of the song quietly in my ear.

I was exactly where I wanted to be. And as long as we had each other, then we'd be okay in the long run.

The rest of the night ended up being surprisingly enjoyable, and despite my initial observations about the AARP crowd, the majority of Gladys' friends were still going strong when we left shortly after midnight. I spent more time at Edward's apartment than I did at the house now, and he drove us straight back to Wind Tower without having to ask.

The moment Taylor heard Edward's key in the lock, she started yelping and whining from within her puppy palace, and I couldn't help but laugh as the furry brown ball of energy rocketed out the door as soon as Edward opened it. She ran directly to the living room, nails scrambling on the hardwood, before launching herself onto the couch and fixing both of us with an accusatory stare.

"Aww, baby girl, don't act like we've never left you home alone before. We were out seeing your Grandpa do the Hokey-Pokey." Edward spread his hands beseechingly as Taylor continued to stare him down.

"Does Carlisle know you call him that?"

"Are you kidding?" he snorted. "He'd shit a brick."

I laughed again and dropped down on the couch next to Taylor, and she immediately flung herself across my lap. I scratched behind her soft brown ears and she heaved a contented sigh, shutting her eyes only when Edward sat down next to me. "I thought we were headed straight for my bedroom for the clothes ripping and fucking and such?"

"Hey, it's still early, and I think someone missed us." Right on cue, Taylor heaved a blissful sigh and cracked one eye open to stare at Edward, as if daring him to break up the snuggle session.

"Domestication, who would have guessed it would have happened to me?" There was no regret in his words, though, and I curled into his side as he put an arm around me. Taylor hitched herself forward so that she was sprawled over both our legs, and I planted a kiss on Edward's cheek before whispering in his ear.

"Hey...maybe the monogamies aren't so bad after all."

**-x-**

**-x-**

**-x-**

**A/N:**

**We interrupt your (somewhat) regularly-scheduled orgy for this important authors' note. Even if you are not a fan of our long-ass A/Ns, you may want to read, as important information is contained within.**

**Kate and Brits snot sob into their "I love McYummy and Playboyward" baby tees** OMG, you guise...it's finally over!

**Kate:** YES, it's over! We only do one epilogue per story around these parts! So we have good news and bad news! GOOD NEWS: Holy shitballs are we excited to churn out some outtakes for _Dirty Little Secrets_! They'll be tacked onto the end of this story, so as long as you have it on alert, it's all good!

**Brits:** BAD NEWS: We will not be doing a sequel. **sadface** But realistically, who needs a sequel when tons of outtakes are coming your way? We're talking smuttakes, futuretakes, smuttakes, dream-sex where ExBxC is not creepy cuz it was a dream she had BEFORE she knew...and did I mention smuttakes? That's right, my twin and I are nowhere near done with these three!

**Kate**: Got a specific outtake you'd LOVE to see? We have a few in mind, but if you've got an idea, hit us up in the reviews! DuckyFach is screening all the requests, but he's solemnly sworn to be impartial!

**Brits:** DuckyFach is gonna get a squeak right up the ducky ass if he doesn't keep it fair between our two hot docs! **side eyes DuckyFach**

** DuckyFach: grumpysqueak**

** Kate: **So anyway, BRACE YOURSELVES for our co-Sally-Field moment! Because apparently YOU LIKE US, YOU REALLY LIKE US! First off we'd like to thank all of YOU for reading, for hanging in there, for keeping the OMG WTF EWW EWW EWW to a minimum, for trusting us, for not boiling us in oil with the Choose Your Own Adventure endings (which yes, we PLANNED over a year and a half ago)…

**Brits**: ...For pimping us on Twitter, for putting aside your mad Edward love and accepting Carlisle into your hearts, for supporting us, and most of all...for being the most fuckawesome readers anyone could ever ask for, EVER!

**Kate**: Yeah, bottom-line, you guys ROCK! And now, just as a gentle reminder…if you're reading this A/N and are completely confused, please don't forget that the last chapter and epilogue were different depending on whose profile you're currently chilling at. Even if you're a hardcore E/B or C/B lovah, consider checking out the alternative. We won't rat you out to the canon-police, but we love and worked our asses off on BOTH endings equally, swear to God!

**Brits**: Allow me to take a brief second to fangirl over my amazing beta, who constantly fixes my shit and makes me look a lot better than I am. I haven't been giving her the props she deserves in our DLS A/N's cuz, let's face it, Kate and I are wordy bitches, but that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve it! Isabel, thanks a million, sweets! Love ya!

**Kate**: Ummm, anything else we need to say, or are we just padding our wordcount at this point? Cuz I'd really love to go hump a hot doc right about now…we can flip a coin to see who ends up with who!

**Brits**: I call heads! heh heh. Our readers clearly don't know about the THIRD alternate ending, where Brits and Kate ride Playboyward and Doctor McYummy off into the sunset. But...we better just keep that one between the two of us!

**Kate**: Yeah, good call! All right everyone, love and smooches from your Perv-Twins, Dr. McYummy, Playboyward, and DuckyFach! See you in the outtakes...until then...PARTY ON BRITS!

**Brits**: PARTY ON GARTH! I mean KATE! Send us some farewell reviews! We love you all!

***THE END***


	18. DLS Outtake: Edward Doesn't Say No

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

Just as a reminder-Lazykate writes the girls and Brits23 writes the boys.

**What if Edward Hadn't Said No – An Outtake from Chapter Ten**

_Remember way back in chapter ten when Bella was freaking about Jackass and went to Edward's for some mindblowing sex? Well in the story he shot her down...but...in this alternate outtake, he sure doesn't!_

**BPOV**

Completely foregoing a polite knock, I banged on Edward's front door with my closed fist, hard. There was an immediate series of delighted yaps from Taylor, and I could hear Edward's muffled voice, sternly commanding her to sit. The deadbolt slid back and then there he stood, still dressed in his work clothes, although he'd undone the top few buttons of his dress shirt, and his hair was even more disheveled than it had been earlier. He looked tired, but his expression immediately morphed into one of surprise, and then delight.

"Bella?"

That was all I needed, all I wanted, in that very moment. Me, someone wanted _me_. Someone was happy to see _me_.

I didn't give him a chance to say anything else before I was in motion, launching myself against his hard body, everything I so desperately needed in the feeling of his arms around me.

I attacked his mouth like I was starving, wrapping my legs around his waist as his arms tightened around me, holding me securely against his hard body. He felt so good, and he tasted even better…like cinnamon against my tongue, hot in my mouth.

"Bella..." he mumbled in between kisses.

"Mmmm?" I'd be damned if I was going to stop kissing and humping him long enough to make conversation. Not when there buttons on his shirt that separated me from his silky-smooth skin and pants that needed removing. It wasn't easy, trying to undress him without removing my lips from his, but I wiggled one hand between us and started tugging on his expensive dress shirt.

"Baby...oh God..." he moaned as I ground myself against the erection that had hardened as soon as I'd jumped on him. He ran his hands over my thighs, wrapped around his waist, coming delightfully close to where my panty-covered heat was already thumping in time with my heart.

"No talking. Fuck me, Edward." I whispered it into his ear to hear him moan again, and I wasn't disappointed.

"Oh Jesus...Bella...what the hell brought this on?"

I leaned back a little and scowled at him. "Does it really matter?"

"Yeah, it kinda does, baby. I mean, I thought you weren't..."

I couldn't believe this…the one guy who'd made it clear how much he wanted me, and _he_ was trying to cockblock me? Oh _hell_ no. I unhitched my legs from around his hips, hanging onto his shoulders until my feet hit the floor, and then I got right in his face.

"Edward," I warned, gritting my teeth. "I am a goddamn grown woman. I think I know when I want to fuck, and right now I want to fuck. So stop trying to be noble, take me to bed, get between my legs, and _make me come_."

"Jesus," he breathed, his eyes going wide. "That dirty mouth of yours is pretty fucking hot, baby."

"Prove it," I taunted him.

His eyes narrowed. "Oh, I'll prove it all right…just remember that you asked for it." In one lightning-fast move, he reached out and grabbed my upper arm, then bent at the waist. My world flipped upside down in a split-second as he threw me over his shoulder, and then he was in motion, heading down the hallway towards his bedroom. I squealed and he slapped my ass.

"Afraid I wouldn't…come with you?" I teased him breathlessly.

"Oh, you'll be coming _with_ me all right." He kicked the door shut behind us and crossed the room to his bed in two strides. "But only after you come first." With that, he unceremoniously dropped me on the bed and was on top of me before I could even push my hair out of my face.

His lips were hot and insistent against mine, and I could tell he was maybe even a little pissed off, but I didn't care. I wanted this, I _needed_ this. I needed to come until I forgot my own name, until all the bullshit from earlier didn't matter anymore. I wanted to relive that one night Edward and I had spent together, I wanted to feel _that_ good again.

Edward stretched out full-length on top of me, every delicious inch of him pressing me into the mattress, and then propped himself up on his elbows. A crooked grin spread slowly across his face. "Have I got your attention now, baby?"

I scowled up at him. "Considering I've been begging you to fuck me since I walked in the door, I'd say so."

"Oh, I'll fuck you if that's what you want…but not until you explain to me exactly what flipped the switch on this sex embargo you've had us under."

"Why do you care?" I grumbled, unwelcome thoughts about Jake threatening to kill my buzz. "You've been trying to get in my pants ever since you last left them, I didn't think it would be this hard to convince you."

His eyebrows shot up. "You figured I'd be a sure thing?"

"Edward," I pleaded, "I don't want to talk right now. I don't want to think. I don't want to feel anything but good."

The wicked look on his face softened immediately. "Baby…tell me what's wrong. I know you _think_ you want me to just fuck it out of you, but I'm not okay with that. I care about you too much to just stick my dick in you like you were some random chick who doesn't matter. _You_ matter."

I could feel tears starting to sting my eyes at his words. I hadn't expected this, and I wasn't prepared for it. I'd been anticipating that he'd be deep inside me by this point, erasing my every thought and replacing it with pure pleasure. I hadn't been ready for him to _care_. "I had a really bad day."

"I gathered that." He leaned down and kissed away the one traitorous tear that had managed to slip down my face. "Now tell me why. I don't like to see you hurting, Bella."

"My ex…Jake…he called me and…I guess he's marrying the chick he was cheating on me with. We were together five years, and then he throws me out and marries the next girl that comes along."

An inscrutable look flickered across Edward's face. "You're upset that he's getting married?"

"No, it's…" With that, the dam finally broke, and the entire story spilled out of me: the sale of the condo, the check Jake wanted to send me, the feeling of being so neatly replaced by someone because _I wasn't good enough_. By the time my explanations had been replaced by hiccups and hot angry tears, Edward had already rolled off of me and was sitting with his back against the headboard and me snuggled in his arms.

"Jesus, baby…" he sighed, before kissing the top of my head. "You needed a friend, not a fuck."

"I'm sorry," I whispered into his neck. "I just kinda went off the deep end, I guess."

"I'd say. I just hope that's not your immediate reaction with the first guy you come across on a bad day."

"Of course not," I scoffed, guilt wiggling a little in my stomach when I remembered that I'd tried to call Carlisle first.

"Plus, Bella…I hope you think of me as a friend too. I mean, aside from the way we met and the fact that I want to be more than _just_ friends…I'm here for you if you need me."

I let out a long shuddering sigh. "That means a lot to me, Edward. I'm sorry that I attacked you, that I was just going to use you to make me feel better."

He snorted. "You're apologizing for wanting _me_ to make you feel better? Don't give me _that_ much credit."

"What do you mean?"

His fingers under my chin tilted my head back until I could meet his piercing emerald gaze. "I can still make you feel better, baby. I'm not going to _fuck_ you, but I'd love to kiss every inch of your body and then make love to you. But only if you really want me to. I want you to know exactly who you're with, and why. Not someone to make you forget, but someone to make you feel oh-so good."

I licked my lips as my heartbeat sped up at his words. There were so many reasons why I should say no, why I should stick to the _sex embargo_, as he called it. But there was no doubting the heavy lust in his words and the reaction of my body to his. I _did_ want him to make me feel oh-so good.

"Say the words, Bella," he murmured, his fingers already beginning to stroke my body, goosebumps following the movement of his skin against mine. "Just tell me what you want."

I whimpered softly. "I want you."

And that was all I had to say.

Edward shifted immediately, gently moving me off his lap until I was lying back on his bed, against the pillows. "God, you look so beautiful," he groaned, his stroking fingers now moving to my neck and shoulders. "I should have appreciated this more the first time…realized what I had right in front of me." He played for a moment with the strap of my sundress before dipping his head down and letting his scorching lips follow the path his fingers had already taken.

I shut my eyes and gasped; as always, Edward's touch was like touching a match to gunpowder. I couldn't resist it even if I'd wanted to.

His lips nibbled along my collarbone until they reached the little strap of my dress, pausing only long enough to take it in his teeth and tug it down over my shoulder, then repeating the action on the other side. I brought my hands up unconsciously and wove my fingers into his tousled bronze hair, reveling in his soft appreciative moans and the heat of his breath on my skin, wet where his tongue had traced over it. His hands moved to my waist as he kissed over my breasts, unhurried, slowly nudging the bodice down while his lips sought out the parts of me it covered.

The sundress Alice had picked out for me had a convenient built-in bra, so when Edward had maneuvered it far down enough, I felt the cool air hit my breasts and my nipples tightened immediately. I heard him hiss before he slowly tugged the dress down further, and I lifted my hips slightly, allowing him to slide it down my legs, leaving me only in a pair of black lace boyshort panties.

He tossed the dress to the side and then his hands were back on my hips again as he kneeled between my legs, his perfect hot lips now raining kisses over my exposed stomach and ribs. Despite the fact that this was only the second time he'd had me in this way, touching and kissing and exploring all the sensitive parts of me, it felt so good, so familiar, and so _right_.

His fingers slipped under the sides of my panties, resting there against my hipbones. His lips returned to my breasts and he dragged his tongue over a nipple before pulling it into his mouth, just barely nipping at it even as he sucked more fiercely. The rush of sensation wrenched an involuntary gasp from me, and my hands fisted in his hair. I started moving underneath him then, an unconscious undulation of my body against the weight of his.

Edward circled my nipple one final time before releasing it, and at the same time, I felt his hands on my hips move, pulling my panties along with them. I opened my eyes and looked down to meet his hot gaze, and he froze for a moment. I knew he was making sure that crossing this last final boundary was okay, and my voice was ragged as I found the presence of mind to whisper one word: "Please…"

That was all it took, and Edward turned his attention to my other breast as his hands, under the lace and firm against my skin, slid the panties down. He reluctantly moved away to sit back and carefully pull the boyshorts over my ankles, then toss them in the same direction my dress had gone. I was completely naked then, and he took a moment to drag his eyes over every inch of me, from my tangled hair to the tips of my toes. The raw desire on his face erased any self-consciousness I may have felt at that moment.

"Every inch…every gorgeous _inch_ of you, Bella," he muttered, just before leaning back down again, his lips landing this time on my inner thigh, just above my knee. It was then that I realized _exactly_ what he planned to do to me, something that I'd never particularly enjoyed in the past, with Jake's utter ineptitude. Now, though, the thought of Edward going down on me only made me want it more than anything else in the world.

There was absolutely no hesitation on his part as he kissed his way up my thigh, gently pushing my legs apart, planting little nips and licks on my skin as he went. My fists clenched again, this time in the sheets, as I felt his hot breath against me there…but then there was no time to think, as he hummed lowly, almost a purr, when his tongue swiped against my clit…once, twice, and then lower, parting my lips.

"Ahhhhh…" was the only thing I was capable of articulating as Edward's lips, tongue, teeth, and fingers began a leisurely exploration, leaving me panting and moaning above him. There was no awkward fumbling or wasted action, every movement Edward made over and inside of me was very deliberate and purposeful, pushing me further and further towards bliss.

Lost on waves of exquisite pleasure, I wasn't quite sure when I realized I was going to come. It started as a more concentrated burn in my abdomen, tense and quivering, connected directly to where Edward's tongue was flicking rapidly over my clit, and to where his fingers were stroking firmly in and out of me. The burn intensified into a sharper sensation, and by the time I realized that I was going to come, I was already there.

It was like the first long drop on a roller coaster, having been pushed over the top, the reaction of my body roared over me. I had no control, _he_ was completely in control of my climax, and I was plunging headlong into it, going completely rigid before I exploded into a million pieces, caught between pulses of utter bliss and the sweetest, most drawn-out ache imaginable.

I could hear my own voice crying out as the flash-fire burned over my entire body, exploding more intensely as Edward redoubled his efforts on me. It was too much, it was perfect, it was exactly what I needed right then and there. My eyes clenched shut with the last dancing ripples of pleasure, I felt him kissing his way back up my body, and I knew that this was only just the beginning.

**EPOV**

Everything was happening so quickly, I barely had time to realize what the hell was going on before she was naked and writhing amongst my sheets. One moment I was watching the game and hanging out with my dog and the next, Bella is begging me to fuck her.

I could never deny her something I had wanted since the moment I'd woken up alone in my bed all those months ago.

Guilt was tugging at my insides, making me wonder if this would be classified as taking advantage of her in a vulnerable state. But when she reminded me that she was a goddamn grown woman, it was all the confirmation I needed. The sexual tension was consistently palpable between us, and despite what had triggered the submission to our need, it was happening _now._

It was only us in this room, sweat rolling along heated skin and tongues exploring aching bodies. Not the drama with her ex or the unworthiness she felt because of him. It was only us, and if I had it my way, that girl would never feel unworthy another fucking day in her life.

I was intoxicated by her glory from the second I slid her sundress down her sleek little body. Every inch of my skin tingled and my mind was rampant with the different ways I wanted to fuck her, to taste her, to make her cum until she collapsed in my arms. Everything inside of me demanded that I be a sex god for her.

But ultimately, I knew she just wanted me to be myself.

So that was what I would be for her.

All I wanted was to feel her body, to listen to her sounds, and to make her realize that she was giving her body to _me_, not some horny bastard just looking for a lay. She was with _me_…and I was only ever with her.

With shaking, eager fingers, I made my way down her body until I was tasting the very essence of this woman, the woman who had captivated me and befuddled me in the same token. I'd dreamed of what it would be like to bury my tongue in her wet flesh, to take her flavor into my mouth and know her so intimately, just like I truly desired. At first I was a little nervous. I sure as hell didn't go down on the tricks I usually pursued; that kind of an act was just too intimate for me.

But with Bella…it just felt right.

As she reached her climax, all I could do was moan as she thrashed against my mouth and fingers. Knowing I had made her lose control like that was overwhelming. I knew I was good in bed, that was obviously no secret, but there was something almost spiritual about watching Bella tremble uncontrollably from my ministrations. As she whispered my name repeatedly and I slid my lips languidly up her body, I knew that this would be more than just sex. For the first time in my life, this was _more_.

I rested my forearms on either side of her and groaned quietly as my body slid up hers, her soft belly grazing along mine until every inch of us was firmly pressed together. I took a moment to look down into her deep eyes, endless and slightly wild as she panted her sweet breath into my mouth. I smiled at her then, moving one strand of hair that was stuck to her damp forehead. "And here I thought you looked stunning in the moonlight." I let out a low whistle, trying to mask the shakiness of my voice. The sun was setting leisurely, the last few rays casting shadows across her face and I swear to Christ, I had never seen anything more fucking beautiful in my entire life.

She laughed breathlessly, sliding her hands around my waist beneath my unbuttoned shirt. "That's awful sweet, Edward, but how are you supposed to fuck me with all these clothes on?"

I could almost feel my eyes darken as she dragged her nails up my torso until she was pushing my shirt down my arms slowly, her hungry gaze never leaving mine the entire time. Once my shirt was off I leaned back on my haunches, running my hands up and down her calves as I smirked at her. "You want 'em off, then take 'em off," I demanded, watching her closely as she rose from the mattress and knelt before me.

I moaned deeply as my eyes involuntarily closed, the sensation of her pert nipples dragging along my skin. She fumbled with my belt, trying to rid me of it faster than her hands would allow. "I don't want you wearing belts around me anymore, Edward," she grumbled.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Okay, Bella."

My laughter turned into a gasp as her hot little hand reached inside my pants to grip my cock tightly in her fist. "Fuck," I groaned, letting my forehead fall against hers as she gave me several hard pumps.

"I missed this," she whispered, licking her lips as she spoke a whisper away from my own.

"What did you miss, baby?" I needed to hear dirty words sliding off of that sweet little tongue.

She lost her breath as she froze, her eyes meeting mine as her hand stilled in my pants. She let me go, causing me to groan painfully at the sudden loss of contact. Her mouth collided so violently with mine that it almost hurt, and as our tongues wrestled frantically for dominance, her fingers desperately twisted and pulled at my pants. "You really want to know what I've missed?" she panted, pulling my boxers down until they were pooled around my thighs with my pants.

I pulled her hard against me once my cock was sandwiched between us, the added friction of our writhing bodies nearly sending me to climax right then and there. Without warning my hands hooked behind her knees, letting her fall backwards onto the bed with me not far behind. "Tell me," I growled, sliding my teeth along the column of her neck before biting down on her chin.

She whimpered as I clumsily kicked the rest of my clothing off of my body, all the while attempting to focus on the wicked gleam in her eyes as she began to speak. "I missed your cock," she whispered salaciously, arching her back until our entire bodies were pressed tightly together.

My cock was hot against the expanse of skin beneath her belly button, and there was nothing more that I wanted than to be buried deep inside of her without our necessary latex barrier. "You want my cock baby?" I whispered breathlessly against her ear, blindly searching my night stand for the key to my salvation.

"I want it," she begged, reaching between us until I was held firmly in her grasp. I thrust my hips into her hot little hand as I finally found that goddamn condom.

I covered her hand with mine, letting us stroke up and down together until it was becoming more than I could take. I painstakingly separated myself from her, kneeling between her legs as I fought with the foil wrapper in my hand. "What else do you want, Bella?" I murmured, trying to find the patience to open the fucking condom and get inside her.

She sat up quickly, sliding her hand up my thigh and between my legs until she was softly dragging her nails across my balls. I nearly fucking died, of shock or pleasure, I couldn't be sure. "Oh fuck, Bella," I groaned, finally managing to slide the latex up my painfully engorged cock.

"I want you on top of me," she purred. "I love the way it feels to have your full weight on my body. And then I want you to flip me over and take me from behind…_hard_. I don't care after that, Edward, I just want to be able to look into your eyes when I cum."

And that was all it took.

With a feral growl I was on top of her, pushing her legs wide and high until I was fully buried inside of her with one sharp thrust. Her eyes widened as she gripped the back of my neck with both hands, a desperate cry falling from her lips as I moved rapidly in and out of her.

I wanted to go slow. I wanted to move in and out of her with a slow precision, feeling every centimeter of heated flesh against heated flesh. But there was no choice for me anymore. I couldn't stop, she was the only thing that existed and in that moment, I just couldn't get enough.

"Oh God, Edward," she whimpered, pulling herself tighter to my chest. "Fuck…"

I slid my hands beneath her shoulder blades, watching her with hooded eyes as we moved passionately together, our pace slowing infinitesimally. "How do you make me feel like this?" I whispered beneath my breath, kissing her gently while I gyrated my hips firmly against hers.

I closed my eyes as she ran her heated palm along my cheek, reaching up to take my bottom lip in between hers. Maybe that was the only response she could give me in that moment, but regardless of who else she was seeing, or my aversion to the manogomies, there was no denying the fucking magic that was taking place within these four walls.

We were quiet for awhile, just listening to our desperate sounds, our heavy breathing and the sound of our bodies becoming one. Eventually, with every second that passed, our need became unbearable. Our sweet, gentle pace had now been overtaken with a blinding desire for more.

I pulled out of her slowly, torturing her as well as myself in the process. She pouted up at me and I bit my lip at the sight, wishing this moment would never fucking end - considering I had no idea if this would be the last time I touched her like this, or only the first of many others.

I had to make it count.

Sliding my palms slowly along her sticky body, I grabbed her by the waist and flipped her over, urging her to kneel just a bit so her ass would pop at the perfect position. I cradled the sweet arch of her hips, letting my dick slide smoothly along her curves until I could no longer control myself.

I spread her gently, guiding my cock slowly into her burning hot pussy, hitting a whole new level from this position. But of us hissed in an overwhelming pleasure, our bodies freezing as we adjusted to this new sensation. "Are you okay, baby?" I murmured breathlessly, sliding my hands up and down the curve of her spine soothingly.

"So good," she whispered, pushing her forehead against the pillow beneath her. "More, please…"

I hungrily complied, watching in awe as I disappeared inside her body and slowly reemerged once more. It was hypnotizing, correlating the movements of our body with the sounds of our pleasure, and the slow burning ache it sent swirling throughout every inch of me.

I had never felt like this before.

I held her by the hips and quickened my thrusts, groaning deeply at the sound of our skin slapping together in the otherwise quiet room. Everything in my body was tightening and I knew I wouldn't last much longer. Luckily, I knew she was close too.

"Bella," I grunted, splaying my fingers across her lower back as I continued to drive into her. "Baby, tell me…"

She blindly reached behind me and grabbed my hand, sliding it beneath her body until my fingers were stroking her swollen clit in tandem with my swiveling hips. "I'm so fucking close," she cried into the pillow, pushing back against me as my fingers circled wildly against her wet flesh.

When I knew we were both so desperately close to the edge, I turned her over before entering her just as quickly. I pushed my thumb against her clit and let out several sharp breaths as I felt my orgasm approach. "It's too good," she begged me, her fingers clawing their way down my back as our bodies trembled together. "It's too fucking good…"

"Look at me," I demanded, feeling everything start to unravel as my eyes burned into hers. "Look at me while you cum."

"Fuck!" she moaned, pressing her forehead tightly to mine before falling back, watching me with a fiery intensity until the whole world felt like it was crumbling down around us.

Everything was a blur. Her loud, passionate cries were distant and muffled. My body felt as if it were floating above my bed as I released inside of her. I could feel nothing but a resounding, breathtaking _numbness_. I couldn't stop moaning her name…

We laid in a panting, sweaty heap for what could have been minutes our hours. I held her as tight as my exhausted arms would let me, kissed her forehead and listened to her tired sighs as she pushed tighter against me. I couldn't form a single word, let alone a sentence, so instead we just existed together, coming down from a high more powerful than I had ever experienced before.

"Edward?" she mumbled, heavily lifting her head until she was smiling at me with lidded eyes.

I sighed, running my hand down my face before looking down at her with a satisfied, crooked smile. "Yeah, baby?"

"We might have to do that again."

I chuckled, letting my fingers dance along her soft, pale skin. "Bella, we've got all night."

Tomorrow, everything could change. Or maybe it would go back to the pain in the ass sex embargo. Either way, it didn't change one very true, magnificent fact.

Tonight was _ours._

.

.

**A/N:**

**Playboyward**: And they humped happily ever after!

**Kate, snuggling Dr. McYummy:** I thought we voted Bella off the island, err, out of the bed?

**Brits**: Yeah, I didn't like that story, besides the repeated mention of your manaconda, of course. But seriously, you boys don't need Bella when you've got us sexy bitches in your bed!

**Kate:** I agree with mah twin, Bella is an indecisive hoor who is stringing you both along. I think between the two of us, we can handle all your needs. DAMMIT, TWIN, STOP HOGGING THE COVERS!

**Brits tugs harder** I'm just trying to get a glimpse of Dr. FuckMeNow's goods! You always hog him when I want to have a turn! **pouts**

**Kate:** Geeeeez, you'd think I don't share or something...fine, let's play musical chairs, err, doctors in the bed. **Scrambling and flailing limbs ensue**

**Brits**: Ok, stop, STOP! **grabs ahold tightly of both fuckhawt docs** Twin the time has come...get in your last few gropes, because we need to do our good deed of the year...

**Kate gropes and both doctors let out moans heard from outer-space**

**Brits turns to readers**: You see, this outtake was originally part of the Fandom for Preemies compilation, but you can still contribute to that wonderful cause by heading over to MarchofDimes(DOT)com. Each of you that do get a turn in the sack with our boys! Now if you would all please make two single file lines, Kate will take it from here.

**Kate, sulkily:** True enough, I'll stop being a selfish hoor…okay, line Playboyward to the left, McYummy hangs, errr, forms to the right!

**Brits**: Have fun, ladies! And remember, no glove, no love! Oh, and thanks for donating to a great cause!


	19. DLS Crackfic Outtake: The Maury Show

**Stephenie Meyer owns the copyright to Twilight and all its characters**

**The original characters, plots, and storyline contained within this derivative work are the property of Brits23 and Lazykate**

_(Translation: if you steal it, we will send Bitey after your ass…and not in a good way)_

_**SNARK AHOY! If you don't have a sense of humor, don't read! 'Cuz otherwise IT WON'T BE FUNNY! AU, BxE? or BxC? Just roll with it!**_

~o~

***INSERT MUSIC HERE***

**THE MAURY POVICH SHOW**

MAURY: Welcome back to the show! Continuing on with our "I've Got a Dirty Little Secret for You, Playa!" theme, let's meet our next guest! Please welcome Bella!

BELLA: Thanks for having me on the show, Maury.

MAURY: So, you've been dating your current boyfriend for how long now?

BELLA: Ummm, exclusively? About three weeks.

MAURY: And he was...something of a playboy before you met him?

BELLA: Oh yeah, he had a serious case of the anti-monogamies.

MAURY: I see. So, your boyfriend...

BELLA: Edward.

MAURY: So...Edward was something of a commitment-phobe? Afraid of being tied down?

BELLA: To say the least.

MAURY: But you guys are in it for the long haul now?

BELLA: I think so.

MAURY: But you've got a secret for him?

BELLA: Uh-huh.

MAURY: Well, let's bring Edward out and you can share it with him!

**Edward is pushed on-set looking bewildered, although his bronze-haired fuckawesome sexiness temporarily stuns the audience into silence. APPLAUSE sign flashes on.**

MAURY: Welcome to the show, Edward!

EDWARD: Thanks for having me, Maury. **Edward throws an arm around Bella's shoulders**

MAURY: Sooo...tell us about your relationship with Bella here?

EDWARD: Well...it's been pretty awesome. I mean, it took me awhile to get used to the idea of doing one chick, but Bella's kind of the total package, so I traded in the plastic, blonde Oompa Loompas for a real woman!

MAURY: That's great, great. So you're totally committed to Bella then?

EDWARD: Of course I am. All that philandering **BLEEP** is in the past. I've got a burning case of the monogomies, and I'm denying treatment, you feel me Maury? **Edward fistbumps Maury**

**Bella clutches at her stomach and grimaces a little at the movement**

EDWARD: I told you not to eat that Mexican food before you came on the show, baby. **Edward side-eyes Bella's stomach**

BELLA: Ummm, right.

MAURY: Well Edward, you may be wondering why we brought you on the show today?

EDWARD: I definitely am. I know you do makeover shows sometimes, but I'm already so attractive that it would be pointless. And I've got no babies or anything since I always wrapped it up when banging the tricks of my past, so you aren't going to be laying an "Edward, you ARE the father!" on me, thank **BLEEP**, so what is it? **Edward looks cluelessly back and forth between Bella and Maury**

MAURY: Bella, what would you like to share with Edward?

BELLA: Umm...so I know we always used condoms and everything but...I'm pregnant.

**Crowd OOOOOOOOHS**

EDWARD: Holy **BLEEP**! Are you **BLEEP**ing kidding me? A kid? A **BLEEP**ing kid? Jesus **BLEEP**, I've got some **BLEEP**ing super sperm if it can break through a whole layer of latex! **BLEEP** YEAH!

BELLA: Well that was...unexpected.

MAURY: So Edward, you're happy about this news?

EDWARD: I'm freaked the **BLEEP** out, but...yeah, I think I am. A little Mini-Me running around could be pretty epic. I always loved that Austin Powers movie. **Edward turns to Bella** Aww, baby, can we get the kid a little saddle so it can ride Taylor around the house?

BELLA: Ummm, NO. Edward, you're going to be a FATHER, do you get that?

EDWARD: Well **BLEEP**, Bella, give me some time to process this. But I'll be ready, I love you, okay?

**Crowd goes awwwwwwwww**

**Bella looks visibly relieved** I love you too, playboy.

MAURY: Well, that was probably the best response we've had on this show...any ideas for baby names, Edward?

EDWARD: If it's a boy, Carlisle for sure, after my pop. He's pretty much the most amazing guy ever, plus he'd get a kick out of having his grandkid named after him.

**Crowd goes awwwwww again**

**Bella turns green, turns head to the side, and barfs onto the stage**

**CUT TO COMMERCIAL BREAK**

**CUT BACK TO MAURY**

MAURY: Well, thank God we can blur that out for you viewers at home, and sorry to those of you in the front row. Bella, are you feeling better now?

BELLA: Yeah, I'm okay. Morning sickness is a bitch.

MAURY: I'm sure. So this isn't the end of this story though, is it?

BELLA: Ummm...

MAURY: In fact, there's something you need to share with Edward, isn't there?

BELLA: **Deep breath** Yup.

MAURY: When you said the two of you had only been exclusive for three weeks...there's more to THAT story, isn't there?

BELLA: Yeah, I, um...

MAURY: You were dating another guy?

BELLA: **Turns green again**

EDWARD: What's going on, Bella?

BELLA: **Turns really green**

MAURY: Well Edward, you're aware she was "dating" another man before she committed to you, right?

EDWARD: Well yeah, but he was a chump, she picked me, that's over and done with...

MAURY: Hmmm...Bella, anything you want to tell Edward?

BELLA: Yeah, ummm...I wasn't just "dating" another guy, Edward.

**Crowd ooooooooooooohs**

EDWARD: Was it a chick? I could be on board with that...

BELLA: No you **BLEEP**ing jerk, I was _sleeping_ with the other guy too!

EDWARD: **:-0**

BELLA: And, ummm...you may not be the father.

EDWARD: **D-:**

BELLA: And...ummmmm...you maybekindasorta know him...

EDWARD: Bella...please, don't tell me. It can't be...you wouldn't go there would you? I mean, he's OLD! I know he's a doctor but **BLEEP**, wrinkly balls and...oh that's sick! You've been **BLEEPING** my neighbor James, haven't you?

BELLA: OH MY GOD I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THAT! **Attempts to yank out Edward's bronze weave**

**SECURITY RUSHES THE STAGE**

EDWARD: Step off, woman! You are the one that's been **BLEEP**ing another dude while I've kept it in my pants and sang **BLEEP**ing rap songs to you instead of dicking you down, and you're bitching at me? Tell me who you were screwing!

BELLA: **Makes defiant bitchface**

MAURY: Aaaaaaaaaaand...let's bring out...Carlisle!

**Crowd is filled with a mixture of applause, boos, groans, and random BLEEPS where profanity is supposed to be**

CARLISLE: Shut up! Shut up! You don't know me!

**Edward stands up, staring at his father in disbelief** Dad...what are you doing here? I don't understand. What's going on?

**Carlisle saunters up to Bella and grabs her ass** You know that kid's mine, sweet cheeks. Daddy knows best, after all.

EDWARD: Dad, WTF? You've been **BLEEP**ing Bella? MY BELLA? **Playboyward's head explodes**

BELLA: **Clutches Carlisle's arm** Well, I knew that manaconda wasn't a happy accident, it was a product of **BLEEP**awesome genes! Like father like son!

**Edward grabs his chair and chucks it at Carlisle's head** How could you do this to me?

**SECURITY RUSHES THE STAGE AGAIN AND THUNKS EVERYONE INTO CHAIRS.**

MAURY: Okay, Edward...you seem a little upset...so this is your dad?

**Edward scoffs** Yeah, who knew he was such a dirty old man?

BELLA: Oh you have no idea...

CARLISLE: **Winks at Bella and adjusts Manaconda Senior** Look, Edward, it's not like I knew Bella was dating you while I was giving it to her daily and nightly and ever-so-rightly. When she found out she was knocked up, she came to me and told me more about the other guy she was dating, and we put two and two together. I don't know what you're so **BLEEP**ing upset about. Either you get a daughter or son, or a new brother or sister. Either way...MAZELTOV!

MAURY: So Bella, you have been pretty quiet. What have you got to say about this situation?

BELLA: God I don't know...I mean, who could really blame me? Look at these two men, Maury, could YOU choose between them?

**Audience nods thoughtfully**

MAURY: I see your point, Bella, if I wasn't married to that hot piece of ass Connie Chung, I'd go gay for either one of them! But this is about YOU...what are you going to do?

BELLA: Well, if it were up to me, we'd be moving to Utah NOW so I can keep banging them both. Is that so wrong?

**Entire crowd gives her the side-eye except for two Perv-Twins in the back who yell** **"BLEEP-YEAH!"**

CARLISLE: **Raises his hand** I'm game. Play on, playa! **Carlisle holds his fist out to bump Edward's, who just looks on in horror**

MAURY: Well there's one way to find out...we'd like to have you back in nine months to find out where this all goes! Would you be willing to do that?

BELLA: Oh hell, why not.

**Edward sobs hysterically, blowing his nose into the sleeve of his shirt** Fine, whatever, just leave me ALONE! **Edward rushes off the stage, wailing**

BELLA: **eyeroll**

CARLISLE: **munches on popcorn** Oh **BLEEP** yeah I'll be back! I can't wait to see how this turns out! **Carlisle's eyes linger on two fuckhawt Perv-Twins in the back of the audience, and makes a mental note to invite them back to the hotel room later**

MAURY: Okay then, we'll see you back here in a few months, and I think I speak for all of our viewers when I say I can't wait to see where this goes!

**NINE MONTHS LATER...**

**Bella sits on stage, looking smug**

MAURY: So, Bella! Welcome back to the show! The last time we spoke, you were in a relationship with your boyfriend, Edward, had just found out you were pregnant, but had to tell Edward that the father of the baby might be HIS father, Carlisle! Is that right?

BELLA: Yup, that's about right!

MAURY: So you've had the baby now?

BELLA: Uh-huh.

MAURY: And you're here for the paternity test, to find out once and for all who is the father?

BELLA: Yes! Little Carlwardella needs to know who her father is!

**Screen behind Bella flashes pictures of both Edward and Carlisle, then Carlwardella**

BELLA: I mean, look at that face! How can he say it's not his kid?

MAURY: Uhhh, which one?

BELLA: I thought you were supposed to tell me?

MAURY: **facepalm** Right, anyway, I've got the envelope with the DNA results here...

BELLA: Let's hear it!

MAURY:...but first, let's bring out both potential fathers! Edward, Carlisle, come on out!

**Edward and Carlisle walk out from backstage, Edward looking broody and emo, Carlisle wearing a shit-eating grin**

**Perv-Twins from the first show are now in the front row**

MAURY: Now...in this envelope...I have...the results...of the DNA test. We are going...to find out...who the daddy...of little Carlwardella is...RIGHT AFTER THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK!

**Insert Cialis, ambulance-chaser, and other daytime commercials here**

MAURY: **rips open envelope and gets strange look on face** Wow! Well...it turns out...EDWARD, YOU ARE MAYBE THE FATHER! And...ummm...CARLISLE, YOU ARE MAYBE THE FATHER TOO! Apparently with you two being related, the DNA-testing can't narrow it down! So...you're BOTH the father?

BELLA: YAY!

EDWARD: **deep sigh** Well, Maury, it's just as well. We're already one big happy family with our little Carlwardella, living down on the compound in Utah. She's my little sister-daughter, regardless of these results. I'll be there for her! **sniff sniff**

CARLISLE: I completely agree, Edward. Every time she grabs my hand and says "I love you, Grandpa-Daddy" it just melts my heart...

MAURY: Oooooooookay...and how's all that working out for you, Bella?

BELLA: Oh, it's just perfect, Maury! We have a sex-schedule worked out and everything! Edward and I bang on Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, and Carlisle and I screw on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I get Saturdays off, cuz DAYUM my uber-tight vag needs time to recuperate! I'm trying to get a threesome organized, but Edward is being a pansy bitch about it!

**Crowd goes EWWWWWWW**

BELLA: HATERS! You're just jealous, bitches!

CARLISLE: Edward just doesn't want to get in on this action because he doesn't want to compare his little garden snake to the original manaconda!

EDWARD: Shut up, dad! That's gross! OMG, where is my little Carlwardella? She's the only reason I endure this...well, besides Bella's uber-tight vag three days a week! **sadface**

**Crowd goes EWWWWWWWWWWWWW again**

BELLA: So in the end, it's PERFECT, Maury! I'm banging two hot docs, my vag is tight, my hands are tiny, and everyone wishes they were me! Plus we have little Carlwardella, who already appears to be seven months old!

MAURY: Ummm, well...alrighty then. Anything else you want to add?

BELLA, CARLISLE, and EDWARD: NO!

MAURY: Are you sure about that? Because...let's bring out…Jacob!

**Jacob lopes onto stage wearing jorts and not much else**

BELLA: JACKASS, WHAT THE **BLEEP** ARE YOU DOING HERE?

JACOB: Well, Bella, it all started when you sent out your birth announcements. Charlie showed me his, I took one look at Carlwardella, and I knew what love was. **Jackass tears up** She...is...my...SOULMATE, Bella! It's not wrong! We are meant to be!

**Everyone, including Maury, turns green. Perv-Twins clutch each other, laughing hysterically in the front row.**

**Carlisle and Edward kick the shit out of Jackass in defense of their Daugher-Granddaughter-Sister, and security doesn't stop them, because EWWW**

MAURY: **Wipes mouth and tries to salvage dignity** Yeeeeeah, and I think that's all for this show. Even I have standards, for **BLEEP**'s sake. Let's...let's just cut to a preview for next week's show, okay?

**CUT TO SNIPPET FROM NEXT WEEK'S SHOW: Perv-Twins Knocked Up by the Same Hot Doc! Brits is gloating while Kate looks downright pissed off, flash of Carlisle with a WTF-face. TUNE IN NEXT WEEK!**


End file.
